Flecks of ash carried on the breeze as it blew in through the window. The students paid it no mind however as they scribbled notes and paid special attention to the Maestro as he spoke.

“Far from what you may believe, magic is not an inherent capability of mankind. Magic is not an extension of your willpower or your ego. Magic is not soft and fluffy like a cloud on a summers day. It is a vicious and dangerous, a soul draining force that goes beyond anything you would dare to call natural”

The class looked at the maestro with jaws agape. What was this intensity coming from the Maestro and why was he so serious? Was he just putting on an act to get his students to listen? No… This was different. His words seemed to come from experience, a lot of experience.

The Maestro grabbed the air and balled his hand into a tight fist.

“Delusion, entitlement, inconsistency… They are weaknesses natural to human kind and deadly to a magister. You must kill your vices, kill the weakness within if you are to attempt to harness a force so merciless as magic”

His eyes looked down for a moment, and flickers of something deep in his soul burned.

“To control magic, you must understand, it is not on your side. It is not rooted in your intuition, or your emotion. You cannot command it simply by your will, or by hope”

The maestro turned swiftly and took up a piece of chalk. His scratches on the blackboard were rhythmic and practiced as he drew two boxes and a line between them.

“Magic is held to this world by a thin thread. These threads connect us to another dimension. And only by strengthening these threads can the other dimension manifest in this world”

He turned back to the class and crushed the chalk within his hand. It's fine powder began to dance up in spirals from the palm of his hand towards his fingertips.

“My will has nothing to do with this. The art of magic is to strengthen these frail threads. I provide no force, no emotional fuel, no command. I only strengthen threads that are otherwise frail and weak”

The powder began to swirl into a ball, and gathered in his hand, until a small sphere of chalk remained.

“Our first instinct on how this is achieved is almost certainly wrong. Do not trust your senses. Do not believe the lies inside your mind. Learn instead to be cold, clinical, and to use known methods”

Rem looked over to her left to see Clive sweating nervously and squeezing his pen.

The Maestro’s looked at Clive out the corner of his eyes without turning his head even a millimeter.

“Why is there such a disconnect between our intuition and magic you might ask?”

The Maestro knew from a look that Clive was uncomfortable with these truths, however it was the whole point of the lesson to shake the embedded ignorance out of his students. Instead of trying to make the information easier to digest his intensity grew as he doubled down on the point of the lesson.

“Do not assume you are dabbling with forces from some fairy tale! One small mistake, one slight miscalculation, and even the simplest spell could collapse and destroy everything you have worked to build”

Clive grunted in discomfort.

“There are mirrors in the magical world. Every force drawn upon, has a consequence, whether you see it or not. One mistake and the mirror of even the simplest spell can turn it back upon you with force more terrifying than you can imagine. Magic, like hunger, can drive you to succeed, or consume you utterly. Those who die when learning its power, are those who believe most deeply that they DESERVE to control it”

Clive swallowed down hard like someone was twisting a knife in his guts..

“The journey you are about to walk means to come as close to death as anyone can ever come. For magisters are not people with power, we are merely those who have survived witnessing its wrath, and now know how to open a path for it”

The Maestro slammed his hands down upon his desk.

“Everything you do has consequence! You cannot escape that small failures now will lead to larger ones in the future! Magic respects no human trait, excepting one. Vigilance”

“For the true source of magic is fear! We are not architects of its nature! We are merely fools toying with a force of nature we can't even begin to understand the depths of. And mark my words, this is not sword play, if you fail you won't be left with a cut, make a mistake with magic and there won’t be anything left of you”

Clive couldn’t take it anymore and his emotions spilled out in a storm of words.

“You say we have to be cold, calculated. That magic is dangerous. But what good is magic if… We are cowards from day one!!! Why should we believe you about anything if your only advice on how to survive its power is to be afraid!”

Dan, Cat, and Jon all looked at Clive with raised eyebrows and a smug look on their face, as though they were already above such a question. To them it seemed a simple point that the Maestro was making, although put dramatically. Magic was not kind or intuitive and could turn on you in an instant. So to them Clive’s words were out of place, and seemed oddly combative.

Cat turned away from Clive in disgust “Pfft”.

Dan leaned forwards in his chair “Why try to make something powerful, pretty, and safe. You'll always be weak if you only care about things looking or sounding the way you want them to”

The Maestro waved his hand as if to deflect Clive’s words.

“All that matters to a magician is the threads that bind the other dimensional forces to this world. These threads can only grow stronger the more callused your mind becomes, the more you fiercely reject warm and cuddly views of its nature. The more cruel magic seems, the stronger your connection to it will be, and it is only in this way you can survive its use”

Clive grumbled and turned to Dan, “How come none of you guys see what he is REALLY saying. That to control magic we have to give up our dreams”

Jon turned to Clive, and then back to the Maestro “Is that true?”

“Yes” he said with a menacing twist to his lips.

Jon sat back and blinked before tapping Clive on the shoulder “Yeah, I kinda get what you are saying now, this is giving me a bad vibe”

Cat put down her pen and sighed loudly, "Don't you get it, you are meant to get a bad vibe. The Maestro isn't responsible for what magic is, he's responsible for telling you, someone who has no idea, what to expect. So show him some respect and trust that if you feel a bad vibe, that it only pointing at the true depths of how bad it can get. I swear, don't act so cocky, when one of the greatest magisters in the country is offering his advice"

Rem looked down at her wolf sigil and rubbed it with her thumb before speaking up.

“Magic isn’t what you expect it to be. What you think is a fantasy made just for you, might just turn out to be something more complicated than that”, she turned to Clive with a warm smile, “Don’t push something scary away just because it isn’t what you thought! Instead, hold it close because it might just be able to take you to a brighter place!”

The Maestro looked out the side of his eye at Rem. He was expecting to upset some of the people in the class today. It was part of his plan, to weed out the weak in the class and have them bow out before real lessons began. Rem's words however rung truer than he was expecting.

Jon sat back up and made eye contact with Rem “What do you mean? Don't push it away if it is more complicated than you expect?”

“Well I mean, you can get upset because a person isn’t who you thought they were because you wanted them to follow a story you had in your head. But the stories you have in your head are just stories. The things you end up really appreciating about others are the things that surprise you. You have to learn to appreciate them for who they actually are, not the person you thought they would be”

Clive furrowed his brow, seeming to understand it the least of everyone in the class and mumbled to himself internally, “It can’t be, magic isn’t fear… It can’t be”.

…

Subi basked in the sun by the river. His nose sniffed gently as the wind stirred and the golden sunlight kissed his face and warmed his fur. Droplets of water hung in the air and danced with the light, leaving the air fresh and muffling the sounds from the forest. His ears casually shifted to scan areas of the forest.

As animals hunted their prey and ate them alive, it didn't escape his notice, but instead of being upset about it he approached it like one might a documentary, accepting that violence at times was a part of the circle of life.

As gravebear's clawed and sliced deer in two, Subi made sure to take a deep breath and soak in the sun. The crunching of jaws, breaking of bone, none of it meant anything to him as he rolled over to expose his belly to the golden light.

The gentle breeze was all that needed to occupy his mind, even as his senses spoke to him in detail of the horrors happening all around him. He had learned these past years that the senses of a wolf give little place to hide from the darker truths of the world. He learned that darkness itself cannot be stopped, only heard and its scent picked up on the wind. What you do with that scent, or that sound, and how you distinguish between moments that matter and those that don’t was the real trick. Subi knew his ability to distinguish between critical moments and the ordinary wasn’t all that great, so followed a hands off policy.

He paddled his paws up at the sky as he enjoyed the heat baking into his fur. His feet hung loose, and he focused on his breathing. It was satisfying for a while, but then he decided he had goofed off long enough, so sat back up and shook of some of the dirt.

Danger was persistent, so his only real task was to bask in what little moments of calm he could.

…

At lunch Cat sat beside Rem while the three boys sat together a bit further over.

“So Cat, I heard you can cast magic already. So you've probably already heard things like what the Maestro said in class today right?” Rem said before taking a bite of her burger.

“Kind of… But also not really. The Maestro isn’t a normal magister. He is one of the best. So anything I learned before isn’t going to come close to one of his lessons”

“He makes it seem like magic is really hard…” Rem replied with a frown.

“Well I imagine the kind of magic he weilds IS really hard. You do know that to be the best you have to look at things differently than everyone else, have higher standards than anyone else, and to take it more seriously than anyone else, right?”

"I guess that makes sense, if magic was easy then anybody could do it. Was the magic you learned really that hard?"

“Hrmm… Yes and no. I’m not really all that good to be honest with you. I can launch a few magic missles when I really focus, but beyond that I really can’t do much”

“How did you learn?”

“I learnt from my grandfather mostly. We used to plant flowers in the garden together and he taught me to use magic to help them grow”

“Wow, there is magic to help them grow, really?”

“Not quite, it was his own blend of fantasy in a way”

Rem paused as she realised that Cat wasn’t going to really volunteer how she learned magic from her grandfather in anything more than vague terms.

“Then how did you learn how to create a magic missile?”

“I studied it from a book, but it was my grandfather that gave me a passion for it”

“That sounds so warm and sweet, I wonder why the Maestro said it is important to be cold and calculated?”

“Well, my grandfather said, a flower only blooms when it is kissed by the springtime sun, but the soil it uses to reach the sun is always cold. So maybe it is the difference between cause and effect”

“I like that!” Rem said while bunching up her fists and bringing them together in front of her chest.

“I have always been cold though, so I don't need magic to be anything else”

Rem thought for a moment and then got an idea, “I think your grandfather wasn't trying to teach you magic, he might have just been trying to teach you to accept who you really are?”

Cat smiled and laughed “You know, I hadn’t ever thought of it that way, but you are probably right”. Cat then turned to Clive with a concerned look on her face.

Rem scrunched up her face, “You don’t like him?”

Cat tossed her hair and narrowed her eyes at Clive, “He is arrogant in a way he doesn’t realise. I think it is dangerous. What if we are sent to do a task and his ethics put us all in danger?”

“You really think he would sabotage us like that?”

“You never know with his type. He seems charming on the surface, but you can just tell he is ruled by primal desires underneath”

“Primal desires?”

“Lust”

“Lust?!”

“Yeah, lust for power, lust for rightness, lust for sex… It is all connected. And all I see when I look at him is that one day he is going to stick his giant schlong in it and screw us”

“Giant!”

“Easy there girl, it is just a guess. You have to admit it though, its what boys do right? Put their, umph, into it” Cat said with a wink.

“I don’t know... But you could be right”

“Of course I am right” Cat smiled proudly.

…

Subi got up from the river bank and shook his fur coat.

“Alright, time to get back to work”

He strolled back to his practice circle and transformed into his toddler form.

He glanced down at the organised drills in his notebook and selected the next one on the list.

He puffed up his cheeks and focused intensely on his practice target. Rotating his wrists and hammering his stick against the trunk. As he made impact his shoulders rose up high, leaving his blow to bounce off rather than sink in. In the guard training sessions the instructor would often tap the exposed ribs when someone was this tense. Subi imagined the hand of a woman gently touching his ribs and helping him get a more comfortable and natural position.

He gently drew back his rear foot by a few more inches and then struck the trunk again, this time the strike sunk into the blow and held firm.

"Yes! Another step closer! Just gotta keep it up!"

Tapping echoed out through the woods as Subi continued through the drills.

"Ah, now the last one"

It was a step back and parry drill. It required that he time four things; the back foot, rotating his arms to a blade up position, the front foot, and suddenly bringing the arms to a position with blade down.

He continued to practice until it felt loose and under his control.

"Alright! Now to warm down!"

Subi jumped down onto his front and pressed himself up from the ground.

"Hya, hya, hya"

He then spun over onto his back, and crunched his gut.

"Uff, uff, uff"

And then jumped up to bend his knees in some squats.

"Rar, rar, rar"

He picked up his things and walked around to the other side of the tree where there was a hole in the trunk. After sliding them away he dusted his hands proudly, he knew that in order to make better use of his human and wolf form, the secret would not be to act like a brute but to become as graceful as a dancer, and that in order to do that it would take daily practice.

…

As the sun sat low and lazy over the horizon, the bells tolled for the end of the school day. Students shuffled through the halls like so many zombies, and pushed their way into their rooms, only to fall face first onto their beds, Rem was no exception.

*knock knock*

“Uh what are you doing here?” Rem said as she struggled to lift her head towards the door.

“I need to talk to Subi, is he here?” Clive replied

“Why do you need to talk to Subi?”

“I thought about what you said in class today, and I realised that you understood it so well because you know Subi. I think if I talk to him more I might be able to understand”

Rem went over to the desk where Subi would often leave notes and picked up a slip of paper “Off hunting, tell Jethro it will be in the clearing just beyond the walls”

Rems eyes shot open, “Oh shoot we have to tell Jethro!”

Rem burst through the kitchen door and grabbed Jethro by the sleeve, she struggled for breath but somehow made out her words, “I went hunting, it is by the clearing, just outside of town”.

“Didn't class just end a minute ago? How do you keep bagging deer so quick"

Rem's eyes widened, "I'm just... Really hungry"

"Don't I know it, must have a tapeworm or something, but don't you worry I’ll send the guys out” he said as giving the nod to the kitchen hands.

Clive shook his head in disbelief "I thought we were going to see Subi, why are we in the kitchen?"

"Relax, he'll be back now that the guys are heading out to grab his catch. But we can go out and meet him if you are that anxious"

"Yeah, honestly if we could, I just want to get to it"

Rem slid out into the back field of the academy with Clive in tow.

"Subi, you back yet?"

“Yuh yuh, I’m here” Subi replied steadily, “What is with the rush?”

"Clive wants to ask you about magic”

“Magic, but I don't really know all that much?” he said while scratching his temple.

Clive stepped forward, “It is just something Maestro said today in class, Rem understood what he said and I think it was because she knows you”

“Hrmm, maybe, what did he say?”

“Well, the maestro was saying that magic is connected to fear, that it is cruel and has things called mirrors that can reflect spells back on you in unexpected ways if you aren’t cold and methodical about it. He said that to strengthen the threads that bind magic to this world you need to be callous and fearful of it at the same time”

“Okay, you've given me some context, but what is the issue?”

“I want to know why magic would be so cruel and unforgiving? Shouldn’t it be magical, a thing of beauty?”

“And what did Rem say?”

“She said that magic like someone you know, might not be what you expect, but if you can appreciate them for who they are, you can find value in it”

“Okay, so am I correct in guessing you don’t want to accept that magic is cruel in its nature? That you hope that somewhere you can uncover that it is actually a force for good?”

Clive nodded “I just… I've never liked pessimism, it seems like giving up to me… And I don't care if I look naive, because being jaded isn't the answer”

“Giving up huh…” Subi repeated, “Ah, okay, I get it!”

“You do!?” Clive perked up

“Yes, but you aren’t going to like it”

Clives face sunk, “Oh...”

“You think that only deserving people should be given power. So you are complaining that everything should be rigged in your favor because you see yourself as the good guy"

"Wait, what? I don't think I think that..."

"You are afraid that magic doesn't play favorites, and that it implies you are far behind everyone else. While Rem understands that being behind someone else doesn't make you weak, it just means that you should admire them and try to be strong in your own way”

“Strong in my own way?”

“Yeah, you are just worried that you will lose your unique advantage if you respect what the Maestro told you. But being optimistic isn't the only strength you have when looking at the problem. Try thinking about it broader than that. If it really is cold and harsh, and the truth difficult to accept, how would you handle it?"

"I don't know, it is just really hard to accept so I can't even think about how I could ”

“Okay, so today, I rested in the sun by the river. Do you know why?”

“To relax?” Clive said with a shrug.

“No... Well, kinda... But! Life changes whether you want it to or not. Sooner or later you have to change too. So appreciate the moments of calm you have, so you can bravely face change when it comes”

“I just can't believe the world could be so brutal and unforgiving”

“It is a matter of perspective. If you think the rules of the world are controlled by magic, then you will think the world is cold hearted. If you think the rules of the world are influenced by how we react, then you will consider how to best adjust to the truth of magic”

“What you say makes sense, but I just hate it so much”

"Okay, so that is your way of reacting. Hate, you hate things that aren't fair. Do you think that is the right reaction?"

"Well, no, of course not"

“Rem is right to say it is like a person. We all have a relationship to life. And if that relationship is to deny its very nature, even its cruel parts, then we are not being honest. All good, comes with a depth of possible loss. All heights with a fall. All good traits with a questionable agenda. Even you could have weird motives”

“Motives?”

“Clive. To be a person who never changes just means that you will betray those who need you to. If you cannot trust others when it matters, then no matter your ideological reasons, you will only ever act selfishly and like a fool”

“So I am betraying people because I am selfish?”

“Yes, from a certain unfiltered perspective, you are”

Clive grit his teeth and looked to Rem for some help. She looked at him with concern written all over her face. Clive swallowed bitterly, turned and walked away.

Rem’s heart tugged in agony and her feelings spilled out as words, “Why did you call him selfish and disloyal?”

“Clive has his demons Rem. He didn't come to me for help. He came because he needed to sharpen his wits to fight a battle within himself. All inexperienced men are selfish and disloyal, it is just part of our journey to grow out of it. It is just something he has to face in order to become a better man”

“But what if he can’t handle it, and becomes bitter, refuses to hear anything you said”

“That is his choice. But I wouldn't underestimate him. He looks at the world almost like a detective at times. I doubt he came to ask me this question without considering I would confront him. My guess is, he knew my answer would make him bitter, and he asked anyway. If he really was serious in his reasons for asking, he will hear what was said”

Subi looked towards the school with a pensive expression

“Come let’s go see what Jethro is cooking up”