Breathe in. Breathe out. I had missed my early morning meditation session because of the impromptu meeting with the dwarf Gorn. I still wasn’t convinced they did anything; but my therapist was adamant they be part of my treatment plan. I didn’t know what I was going to do when I ran out of my meds. Probably have another breakdown I thought. Breathe in. Breathe out. Stop catastrophising. There is nothing you can do about the situation. A panic attack is not going to help anything.

When I reached the rear cargo hold I heard Jamie saying, “Mr. Thomson was found after he hung himself.” Jeremy raised his bottle of melted snow and chanted, “to Mr. Thomson, Mrs. Villiers, Jason and Eric.” The rest of the group followed.

I almost missed this I castigated myself. The group was sitting in a circle around the frostwolf pup. It was playing with a tennis ball. Despite how cute it was keeping that thing was a nightmare. It had already nearly frozen off three of my fingers from its nips.

“Are you lot still mental enough to go back out there?” I found myself asking.

“Eh. It’s not that dangerous with the adventurers. And it beats waiting here to starve when the entire place freezes over.” Sara said bluntly.

Xola was more reticent. “I don’t know. Without my bow I don’t know how much use I’ll be.”

“You can get another bow when we reach the town. And the adventurers will handle anything nasty before that. It’s part of the basic structure of any story. You need to overcome a real loss in order to level up.” Sian replied.

Sara laughed. “Do you still think this is some sort of epic fantasy? We’re dying in job lots and you think being genre savvy is going to save us.”

“I’m a bard. It’s my solemn duty to be genre savvy regardless of whether or not it’ll save us.”

“Xola, have you thought of a name for the wolf,” I asked.

“Not yet. The past few days have been hectic. I almost forgot about it to be honest.”

“Well I’m not keeping track of her for the next two weeks. So if you don’t want me to release her into the woods you’ll have to take her with.”

“I guess it would be unfair to ask you to do more when you’re always so busy. I’ll have to try sneak her out the camp when we go.”

We sat for a while chatting until Xola said, “I have to convince my sister to let me go tomorrow. This is going to take a while.”

“I’ve got a checkup with the doctor I need to get to as well,” said Jeremy. The rest of the group decided to split up as well.

I wandered around the camp doing odd jobs trying to take my mind off of things. I was about to head to the infirmary when the black lawyer who was a candidate for the camp leadership called me over to a tent he had set up under the wing. His son looked like he had been ordered to stand guard outside. He was tapping his foot against the ground as he glared at anyone who came too close.

The inside of the tent wasn’t very impressive. No room to stand and the ground was covered in towels and blankets. The lawyer crouched down on his haunches and invited me to do the same. “Melissa isn’t it. I’m Tony.”

“What do you want?” I asked flatly.

“It looks like I’m going to win the vote tomorrow and I’d like to know I have your support. I’m not asking you to vote against Reynolds. But when he loses I’ll need an assistant who knows how things operate. And since you’re basically already doing the job you seem to be the most appropriate candidate.”

“I…I,” I stammered.

“You don’t have to answer me now. I just want you to think on it. “

I stood up and fled the tent, wishing I had a drink to take the edge off. “Melissa, wait up.” It was his son. He glanced back at his post while he jogged towards me. Looking at him again I had to admit he was pretty cute. Gorgeous caramel skin and muscles the size of watermelons.

“I’m Aaron.” He said.

“Melissa,” I said, putting my hand out to shake. My face flushed when I realised my misstep.

“So your friends are going on that expedition to the town.”

“Dragon’s Cleft, yes. Major Phillip doesn’t want them going. But the plan is for them to sneak out just before the main group leaves.” I had no idea why I was telling him this.

“And do you think it’s going to be safe?” he asked.

“No less safe than here. Those adventurers are serious business.”

“I need them to bring someone along.”

“Why?” I asked in suspicion.

“Because my father is going to win the election and he’s not going to agree to terms negotiated by a team he didn’t send. If someone he trusts goes along it’s another story.”

“So he trusts you to negotiate?”

He chuckled nervously. “Not me. My mother. My dad would never suggest her going; but if she’s brought along he’d agree to any terms she helps negotiate.”

“And his other supporters would go along with it?”

“I don’t think they’d have a choice. Most of them are pissed off by Reynolds’s unilateral control; but they’re terrified as well. And they blame him for everything. Dad is only keeping them in check by promising he has a plan. But I know him. He’s been very successful at bullshitting his way passed problems. He expects his charm will let him recruit Reynolds’s administration once he wins the vote. His goal is to use Reynolds as a scapegoat to draw the heat off the doctors and engineers. A few of his supporters have useful skills; but the majority of them just want their voices to be heard. When it comes to surviving the winter he’s clueless.”

“Let me spend some time thinking on it.” I said. “I’ll let you know before sunset.”

“Please make the right choice.”

I thought about taking the intel straight to Major Phillip. But that was a minefield I didn’t want to confront. Instead I spent the next few hours pacing up and down the aisles of the plane with a million different worries warring for my attention. I counted the supplies for the third time and considered doing another census of the passengers. After talking myself out of it I retreated to my bunk and worked on devising statblocks for the various monsters I’d heard reports about. Of course I was too much of a coward to confront them myself. But it was enough of a distraction that I could ignore real life for a few hours.

As the sun was setting I walked passed Aaron at the supper table and let him know his mother could join if she still wanted to go. Maybe it was a mistake; but for some reason it was the one decision that didn’t make me second guess myself.