I have been thinking about how I should return home. I thought about just rocking up with Ren and Adria and acting life nothing ever happened and I thought about pretending to be kidnaped. But untimely I decided that both these were the wrong way to go about things and instead it not my sister I need to approach it’s the one I call mother who holds the key to my situation.

See I didn’t plan on being gone this long so I haven’t really prepared anything but it’s not like I just up and left the estate.

No I told mother I was going for a walk and would be gone for awhile.

So I could be all like hahaha! Oh god I hate myself… I wish I wasn’t real. Existence is pain.

...Just shut the fuck up me!

Weather three months was a bit to long or not is something I am clear on. So my plan is to run into mother and wing it. I know it is genius but please hold your applause please. Ok I will emit that i’m not good with plans. But I am good with critical thinking and work best under strain. Lets hope its ok.

Another aspect I am worried about is that my mother used to be a sword king in the past but was injured but number one. Anyway bla bla bla bla it will probably be important later but it is a long story and that's that ok.

Well I chose to meet my mother because she kinda of chil about things because of her past as a sword king she doesn’t really get swayed by her emotions. And sister gets angry at times.

Well that's what I believed based on Varon’s or my memory’s but… she throw a spear at me the moment we made eye contact. See I stealthy made my way to her room where I waited but as soon as she approached she throw a spear at me.

I doge barely. Then after discovering who I was she look like she phased out. Then she pinch me and sniffed me. It was a mortifying experience. She she took a step back and asked we and I quote how the fuck did you get so strong. Then I realised my mistake. I underestimated her. So I told her I was attacked by wolves and while fighting them a bear show up.

.

Me deeply wounded I showed her my bite marks of unknown sources. Then I told her I found a cave and inside the cave was a manual and some strange statue and when I work up I wasn’t bleeding and I felt really good. I told her it was almost like I was dreaming.

Then I was attacked by the wolves again somehow just knew what to do. I killed the wolves and like a dream hunted down the bear. Then I returned here. Shit ok I panicked and practically told the truth minus the meeting Red and human sacrifice well the woman's corpse was gone after I got the blessing and after all this time the snow mush have buried any evidence left behind.

And of course they didn’t but a single word I said their not stupid but neither did they question my story. Well my sister still freaked out.

She seemed to go pale and left telling me not to worry it ok. It rare for people to care or worry about me. It felt nice but at the same time it felt kind of heavy. Varon has never lied to his mother before. No it’s not Varon, I have never lied to my mother before. Even when I was little and broke the rules I went to mother and she would congratulate me. Even though I didn’t have any ambitions other than supporting my sister back then it not like I was a asshole or that bad of a guy and I learned early on that using my title was not the way to get laid but the type of woman i’m into sure I could get a lot of ass that way but it was never about that. I only sought woman because I thought something was missing in my life. I now know what that part was thought my memories of Ragnar Rok that the missing part was Red. I was well, young without my experiences of my time as a dragonish thing.

But I always respected my mother. Mothers are good… never had one before so I will still take care to be kind to her.

As for why she ‘believed’ a story I made up on the stop when things went the exact opposite of how I thought they would well.

Something I didn’t realise is that my black eyes are now red. When the fuck did that happen. Then I remember. Reds blessing. So it was clear as day that I have gone under some form of change. Also I reek of blood and am literally covered head to toe in it. I forgot about that.

She could also tell I was a master class despite being a normal person three months ago. But I also feel like there's more to it than that. The way she reacted was as if she expected something like this to happen one day.

Than she called a family meeting. And I arrived to my sisters surprise. It was sad that she seem to be simply happy that i’m back thinking I ran off to flirt with some girl. I’m sorry sister for not understanding you.

Well I still don’t understand you or have the intentions of actually trying to, I will just pretend that I have some understanding of you… sorry but are you even my sister? Or just another human to me? Not that I dislike you but I am not sure your family. Maybe you are and I am just being an ass. Yeah knowing me I am just one big ass when it comes to others.

You are truly a good sister. Then as she got a better look at me. Covered in blood with a new eye colour. She practically tackled me down to the ground and began frantically shaking my couler asking me who did it. And if I was ok. Well then she drag me into this room. I don’t remember this room but it nice… I guess.

Well I have a fairly good idea of what's going on. I was curious about why I recanted into a human but if what I think has happened has happened than it makes sense. But right now I will say it. I am bored. I don’t give to fucks about the human Varon’s origin.

I am Varon. But at the same time I am so much more. I am the end boss! Oh fuck that was cheesy. Were going to pretend I never said that last bit ok… yeah good.

Ahhhh I love family… it feels nice even if I have ti keep tricking myself into ‘caring’ about these people because of Varon… or should I say me.

Who am I? Or which I is me…