Thinking there could be nothing worse than the last ten years of being asleep and yet awake in what would be considered a dream you couldn’t wake up from, Erin didn’t know how wrong she was.

Every day desperately wishing for release from the nightmare in one way or another. Instead just being driven to madness in repeating dream which she couldn’t control.

Constantly being reminded about what happened that day, when she was on her way home. In the unwavering madness of the dreams, something persisted to keep her sane. Then eventually, something changed, she was no longer in her dream.

She was looking at two circles on the ground with a silver rim and black symbols which were emitting silver smoke tainted by blue mist around the symbols. Coming closer to the window Erin could see the empty hospital beds.

I guess that is probably the place where I was taken after the accident.

Looking over on the second circle, the place was much different, beautiful wooden bed, covered by the kind of fabrics with colors burgundy and azure she could only dream about. It was nothing like her old room.

Lavishly decorated with flowers, silverware on the red wooden table with two chairs. Open window with drapes like from a story showed a view from the that forced her to stop breathtaking. Open fields with mountains on the horizon covered in an orange sheen of setting sun made her exhale the air again in awe.

Not thinking about it, wanting to escape her darkness at any cost Erin touched the glass with her feet, but before her bare fingers could reach the window red, rusty fingers grabbed her leg and with a scream escaping Erins lungs dragged her into the hole on the ground.

When the pressure on her legs finally stopped Erin felt a cold chill run over her skin, before something warm wrapped around her body.

Thinking about the first days Erin was born into this new world her body shivered. The realization of being somehow reborn, since nothing else was even remotely conceivable brought her a rush of excitement on the prospects of living a new life.

The excitement lasted until the first time she tried to open her eyes, only to be welcomed by the darkness. Panicking she started to call for somebody nearby, for someone to help her, to put the lights on. All she could hear thought were just cries of a baby. My cries to the world hoping to be rescued.

When her mother first lifted her little body and brought Erin to her chest for a hug and started humming I started to calm down, realizing that maybe it was just so dark outside, no one could really see. Or maybe babies aren’t supposed to see so soon after birth.

It has been just my wishful thinking to satiate the growing fear that gripped my very core.

After several weeks, she started to realized there was something wrong, nothing changed. Erin could feel the warmth of the sun on her skin, the breeze caressing her head as she was enveloped in blankets inside what could only be a crib.

Constantly trying to call for someone, her mother or father, to make sure someone was there with her and she wasn’t all alone, blind in a place she didn’t understand how she got to. Somewhere back in her mind she realized that she was constantly crying, and at the same time bringing a lot of hardship and sadness to her parents.

But if nothing else it worked.

There was always one woman near her, later Erin learned to recognize her voice as her mothers. There were other women as well, but she had no idea what they were saying and wasn’t even sure why they were constantly near.

Not being able to see, there was no way for her to learn what they were saying. Thinking normal babies learned by pointing on something and repeating the sounds enough times to get it right, she knew there was no such option for her. The realization of the possibility of not being able to ever speak again, on top of never seeing, filled the darkness and consequently many days and night with wails of desperate girl fearing every moment in her life that was approaching.

What kind of life would that even be? Why was I brought to this world? I have not even once heard the sound of a switch or the hum of some machine.

The only sounds were the clatter of wood and occasional metal clang. Every sound just reinforcing the fact of being in a backward society, that had probably no access to real medicine.

The wildest scenarios were playing in her mind.

Are they even humans, am I human? Will they let me live once they realize my situation? Probably not, they would see it as a mercy for someone who could not survive in whatever world was waiting outside of the walls I was surely behind. Or in better case, it would be spearing the child of future hardship and even worse life that would follow.

In the panic of all those things coming to her mind, Erin tried to stay as quiet as she could, to not bring more attention to herself than necessary. To appear as a normal child, but the only outcome of it was permanent feelings of being alone, abandoned in her crib, fearing of her mother forgetting about her.

She probably had other children she had to take care of.

Lasting only a moment, unable to gauge time in the constant darkness, Erin started to call for her mother again, until the reassuring caresses of her hands returned. Not caring what would be the outcome if they find out she decided to keep her close.

Erin heard the voice of the men only once before and it was the only male voice she heard since coming to this world. Hearing her father for the second time she knew he was angry, fighting with her mother over something.

Was it me? Were they in a fight because of what to do with me? Is this finally it, the point in which they decide to let me die and release me from this broken prison?

In was a strange moment, staying quiet and wondering if it would be such a bad idea if the end of this was really the worst thing that could happen.

She was locked in her old body for a decade unable to move, speak, hear, see or smell anything. And now she was locked in this new body, which was broken from the beginning unable to see or speak.

Is it really wrong for me to think it would be better to end this new prison?

When silence fell on the room she could feel it was now, the moment which decides what will happen next. Almost wishing for the ending she anticipated she found herself holding her breath, in hopes to hear what exactly would happen.

Sobbing.

All she could hear was sobbing, a sound she hasn’t heard before.

What is this, why does it sound so wrong?

Something she did all the time sounded so much worse coming from a woman she recognized as the only constant thing in this life where darkness was never yielding. She has never heard her cry before, now considering something so simple Erin was at a loss.

Did she decide to never cry in front of me? Or was she simply so busy taking care of every need I had so she didn’t consider her own feelings?

Spiraling into another loop of assumptions and thoughts of what she was doing to her mother all this time. Erin broke into another fit of crying, joining her mother in her sorrow over whatever just transpired.

As if bringing her back from a trance her cries stopped almost immediately as she was lifted and felt the familiar feeling on her cheek against her chest. The soft hum of her mother's lips and vibrating chest slowly lulled Erin into an exhausted sleep.

After the last event, Erin couldn't escape the guilt she felt growing inside of her for all the selfishness towards her mother, determined to let her know she loved her Erin decided do her best to bring her as little of hardship as she could. Intending to remain silent, trying to deal with the creeping feeling of being alone in the room.

It was harder then she thought, never knowing what is near, or if someone is in the room watching or listening. Erin wanted to make sure she was alone, or that mother was nearby, or to make sure she wasn’t.

Not knowing anything and being forced to just guess was scary. Anxiousness and fear crept into her chest again, not knowing what time it was, or how much time passed since she woke up, unable to know if the night was approaching or if instead the lunchtime was nearby made it all the more frustrating and harder.

Then the doors opened, feeling proud of herself for staying quiet, giving her mother another reason to come to look at her. After all this time she could tell it was her mother because of her smell. She had a unique smell of flowers and wood.

But today there was someone else with her as well, another woman, her voice was soft the kind teenage girls had when being nervous.

From that day Erin slowly learned her name was Faiya, she was a young girl in the service of her mother and she was meant to stay with her for the rest of her life.