Zane scratched the hair clippings stuck in his collar.

He wasn’t used to a breeze reaching his neck, but he promised himself he’d make an effort to follow the rules, and his old haircut wasn’t exactly in the dress code. This was a fresh start and he wanted to avoid drawing the wrong kind of attention… On his first day, at least.

Plus, he had to admit he looked damn good with short hair.

A group of girls walking by must have thought so too. When he caught their glances, they blushed and whispered to each other. Things like, “he’s cute!” and “is he a transfer student?” and “do you think he’s single?”

All true, and Zane would have been happy to let them show him around the campus, but he was not on the hunt right now. They might be cute, but he also promised himself a little self-control, so he exercised restraint and refocused on the gate in front of him.

“Andronicus Academy,” he read off the plate with a smirk of satisfaction. “Number one in the country, number five in the world, and I somehow got in. Damn, I’m good. Here’s to the first step of my new life.”

Zane straightened his uniform and ran his hand through his hair. Who knows what his life had in store for him?

With a smirk to take the day by the neck, he took his first step through the gate, and everything went black.

Zane groaned groggily as his vision came into focus. The first thing he saw in the dark room was a busty blonde girl looking down on him with a haughty expression.

He tried to lift his hand to a split in the back of his head, but his wrists remained bound behind him in what he immediately recognized as handcuffs. Likewise, his legs were tied to the legs of the chair he was sloppily propped up in. His brief struggle against his bindings startled the gaggle of girls surrounding him. All of them wore Andronicus colors, and each and every one of them was armed with a rapier.

“What is this shit?” Zane demanded.

“Are you awake, ruffian?” the girl who was apparently the leader said sharply.

“Where are we? Why am I here? Who are you?”

“If you must know, this is a storage closet beneath the train station near the campus.”

A deep rattle and flicker of the lights as a train passed overhead proved that, at least.

“I chose this place because it is quiet and secluded. No one will interrupt us or hear if you prove to be more of a coward than I believe you to be.”

“Great.”

“As for who I am… I am the daughter of the police commissioner. My name is Felicia Belafonte, but you will call me Miss Belafonte, Lady Belafonte, or Mistress Belafonte.”

“Fantastic.”

“You are here to learn a lesson about discipline at Andronicus Academy.” She drew her sword and pointed it at Zane. “You should be glad. There are those who beg for this kind of attention from me.”

“Oh, I’m being hazed,” Zane replied with amused realization. “Look, Breast-afonte, I don’t know what possessed you to knock me out, tie me up, and point a weapon at me… but props to you. I was out cold for… what, ten minutes? So, what’s with the omelet fest? Did you think I wouldn’t fight back if I had to fight girls?”

Felicia scoffed. “Even a ruffian like you wouldn’t lay a finger on a lady.”

“I will drop kick a lady. Don’t tempt me.”

“How crass! I don’t know why President Camille is so alarmed by you, but you certainly cannot be allowed to roam the campus with such gall!”

“Camille? Is that who’s ass I have to kick for this?”

“Don’t sully her name with your foul tongue! You are too far beneath the president to warrant an iota of her attention. That I should raise a finger against you myself give me conniptions!”

Zane sighed with exasperation. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but I haven’t done anything wrong– since I got here –so you if you work for the school you can’t do anything to me!”

“You’ll find Lady Belafonte has the authority to do as she pleases!” stated one of the girls surrounding him. She moved to draw her sword, but Felicia stopped her.

“Sheath your blade. He is right. There would be repercussions if you advance on him before he did anything to warrant retaliation.”

“Great,” Zane sighed with relief. “Now untie me.”

None of the girls moved. They watched Zane with a morbid look in the flickering lights.

“They might face punishment, but my authority should permit me some leeway,” Felicia said suggestively. “As long as I have you here, I believe I may do whatever I please.”

Zane tensed up and cautiously followed the tip of Felicia’s rapier as it cut figure eights through the air, hissing with each pass. He tensed up and his breath caught when the cold steep touched his neck.

“…Aren’t you going to beg for mercy?” Felicia asked uneasily.

“Like you’d stop if I did,” he belligerently scoffed.

“I might…” She flicked her sword to the other side, but he only grit his teeth in preparation. “Hmph.” She sheathed her sword and turned her back to Zane.

“…You’ve never done this before,” Zane suggested smugly.

“I have!” she indignantly insisted. “Delinquents usually bawl and soil themselves before I touch them! But you seem to be made of tougher stuff.”

“Tougher stuff? It sounds like you’ve never dealt with someone with half a dick and some self-respect.”

“Shut up! Compared to the trash I deal with on a daily basis, you’re barely a speck in my eye! A distraction from important duties!”

“…Would it make you feel better if I pissed myself?”

“Sh-Shut up! Don’t patronize me, worm! I’ll simply come up with some other way to teach you your lesson!”

“Mistress Belafonte, we could leave him here overnight,” one of the girls suggested.

“That won’t do. He was seen outside the gate; it would be suspicious if he disappeared on his first day.”

“Hey,” Zane interrupted. “I’ve got a lot to do today and I’m going to be late if this takes any longer. Can I go now?”

“Don’t speak unless spoken to,” spat one of the girls, who then slapped Zane across the face.

“You hit like a girl,” he mocked.

Another girl stepped up and socked him in the jaw with an audible crunch, knocking the wind right out of him and sending a cringe through the onlookers.

He spit up a glob of blood and checked that he had all his teeth, sputtering, “You hit like a slightly stronger girl.”

“Don’t do anything that will leave marks,” Felicia advised. “We can’t have him walking around campus covered in blood and bruises.”

“If I may, Mistress, we need not mark anywhere visible,” one of the girls suggested. “Most of his body is obscured by clothing. The only way anyone will know is if he shows someone.”

Felicia grinned maliciously. “I’m sure by the time we’re done with him he won’t be stupid enough to open his mouth.”

“I suddenly don’t like this,” Zane muttered uneasily.

“We will see how long your tough façade holds. There is approximately one hour until the first bell; taking five minutes to walk from here to the school grounds gives us fifty-five minutes to teach you respect. If you hurry in dressing your wounds, you might make it in time for the end of homeroom.”

The slick sound of metal sliding out of sheaths filled the room. Zane swallowed. The glint of the small bulb on dozens of polished blades faltered, then another train passed overhead and the lights momentarily went out. There was a distinct clicking sound and a rush of air. When the lights came back on, the chair was empty and the door wide open.

Zane grimaced, rubbed the welt on the back of his head as he trotted through the Andronicus gate.

“They got me good,” he muttered. “Guess I can’t let my guard down here either. Now let’s see, where’s the dorm?”

The main building stood just behind the gate, but Andronicus was large enough that putting everything into one structure was impractical. Classrooms were divided into buildings across campus by subject, occasionally integrated with a cafeteria or store for student convenience, fitting the university model more than a conventional high school. The dorms were little apartment structures haphazardly scattered where they would fit as if the planner suddenly realized the students using these facilities might need someplace to stay. That isn’t to say they didn’t make the most with what they had to work with, but a few of the dorms were placed unintuitively.

Zane’s path was blocked by a girl who watched him intently with droopy eyes and an aloof smile.

He tried going around, but every time he took a step, she moved in his way, never once dropping that airy grin.

“Can I help you?” he asked, trying not to sound annoyed.

“You’re… the new boy,” she said slowly, as if on the verge of falling asleep.

“Yeah…” It was really hard not to sound patronizing.

“You should join… the literature club.”

“What? I’m not interested in any clubs.”

“Are you sure? Reading’s really easy…”

“Don’t care. I just want to find my room.” Zane pushed past the girl, but she leisurely followed him.

“It’s no good not to join a club. You can make friends… and eat snacks… and it will help keep you out of trouble–”

The aloof girl bumped into Zane when he suddenly stopped and faced her.

“Listen, nothing against you or your books, but I’m going to do things on my own terms for a while. I don’t need a club taking up my time and telling me what to do. I just want to kick back and ride out the school year. Got it?”

“Loud and clear,” she hummed with a distant smile. “I can’t force you to do anything… but if I were you… I would watch out.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he challenged, taking it for a threat.

She pointed to a militant gaggle of girls armed with swords at the front gate. Zane’s cue to make himself scarce. The boy dorms and girl dorms were strictly separated, so he figured he would be safe in his. If he could find it.

“Those girls were freaks,” he muttered to himself as he navigated the urban layout. “Is everyone at this school that, uh… ‘Interesting?’ Because I hope so. Preferably less hostile. Or more hostile. I don’t know.”

His particular dorm was tucked away in the corner of campus furthest away from anything remotely convenient, but this rinky-dink building already stretched his expense budget without the added cost of location. He found the room on the second floor and let himself in. No need to knock. It was his room.

He stared unblinking for a good while once he saw inside.

All the furniture was pushed against the walls to make room for the dozen or so guys in only their shorts and paper plate masks hopping like a bunch of monkeys around a lava lamp while some guy perched on a desk wearing his pants on his head played a recorder poorly to Nordic drums blaring from someone’s phone.

Granted, there aren’t many things you can do in this situation, but as far as Zane was concerned there was only one possible discourse.

He dropped his things on the closest bed and joined the ritual. It wasn’t any big deal.

Not long after, a shaggy headed guy of fragile disposition walked in and upon seeing the display shouted, “What is going on?!”

The music stopped. Someone yelled, “He’s here!” and all the dudes broke their conga line and crowded around the poor boy, hopping in place when they couldn’t pack themselves in any tighter.

“Wait, wait, everyone stop!” one guy yelled and stood up, pulling off his mask. “It’s just Nelson. Get back in position, we’re starting over.”

Everyone groaned, then froze when they realized someone in the room was fully clothed and not whimpering on the floor.

“Hey,” Zane greeted.

“When did you get here?”

“Like, a minute before he did,” he pointed at the shaggy headed boy holding his knees, rocking in the corner.

“Dammit! We fucked it up!” one of the guys lamented.

“Great, we botched the first impression,” muttered the apparent ringleader. “Does anyone have the time?”

“Oh shit, half an hour until homeroom!” cried someone in the crowd.

“Everyone, get dressed and head to class! You don’t want to be tardy!”

The sea of men stampeded out of the room like someone cracked a whip over them, leaving only the disarray wrought by their presence.

Zane helped the poor, rattled student still laying in the corner to his feet.

“Thanks,” the boy mumbled. “That really surprised me.”

“Does this happen a lot?”

“Only when someone moves in. They do something different every time. My name’s Nelson, by the way.”

“Zane. Looks like we’ll be friends for the semester.”

“I have to say, you handled that situation really well.”

“It’s not the weirdest thing I’ve ever walked in on. But they all seemed a little freaked out about being late for class.”

“That’s what you think is weird?” Nelson sighed his uncertainty about his new roommate. “The rules are really strict around here– or I guess, the rules are enforced strictly.”

“Bad enough to make people scared of being late to class?” Zane asked in disbelief. “I didn’t plan on causing trouble, but sheesh.”

“As long as you read the student handbook and keep your head down, you should be fine. It works great for me,” he said with a bright grin.

“Remind me to do that later.”

Nelson checked his phone. “Speaking of later, we should get to class.”

“We have like, half an hour. We can wait a few more–” he suddenly freaked out and hid out of view of the window.

“What’s the matter?” Nelson worriedly asked.

Zane pointed toward the window and whispered, “They’re looking for me!”

“Who?” He peered out the window like a spy searching for snipers. Across the courtyard were two girls with swords asking passing students if they’d seen anyone looking rather roguish lately. “Those girls on the fencing team? What do they want with you?”

“Hell if I know! They abducted me the second I got here and some girl with a huge rack and an annoying last name tried to torture me!”

“Felicia Belafonte is looking for you?” Nelson frightfully declared, taking cover beside Zane.

“Don’t freak out. We just have to wait for them to leave.”

“You don’t understand, this is Felicia Belafonte! One of the seven heads of Andronicus, the most accomplished and proficient students responsible for maintaining order and dealing discipline at school! Nothing happens without someone at their table knowing, and they don’t let anything go unpunished! Anything!”

“Isn’t that the teacher’s job?”

“She must be really mad if she has the fencing team scouring the campus! What did you do to make her angry?!”

“I did nothing!”

“Oh… It doesn’t matter why. If you show your face out there, they’ll skewer you with a thousand swords!”

“I can’t stay in here! For one, they’ll check sooner or later, and for two, I have to get to class eventually! I am NOT going to be late on my first day!”

“Did you hear what I said?” Nelson grabbed Zane by the collar. “They’ll kill you if you go out there!”

“Please, I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration.”

“Okay, they might not kill you, but you have no idea what they will do to you!” A more primal dread set in as he stared open space. “What would they do to me? Am I an accomplice for hiding here with you?”

Their hushed and frenzied discourse was interrupted by an unfriendly pounding at the door and a familiar voice, equally unfriendly in her tone.

“Zane Ashford, if you are there, open the door or I will let myself in!”

“I thought girls weren’t allowed in the boys’ dorm!” Zane whispered.

“The heads are exempt from some rules so they can enforce them!” Nelson frantically whispered back.

Felicia knocked harder and angrier.

“What do we do?” Nelson whimpered.

“Don’t freak out! Answer the door before she tears it down, just don’t let her in if you can help it! I’ll figure something out.”

The furious banging did not make the door approachable at all. The way Nelson’s hand trembled over the handle, you would think he was about to let in a hungry lion; which, all things considered, might have been a preferable alternative.

With one final urge from Zane, he cracked the door open and found himself staring up at Felicia‘s immaculate features crossed into an overbearing glare.

“C-Can I h-help you?” Nelson could barely look such a beautiful girl in the face, let alone talk to her.

“Is Zane Ashford here?” she coldly demanded.

He had to look back for assurance, but the response was a very clear shake of the head, prompting him to lie to one of the heads of Andronicus with a very insincere, “Who?”

“Your roommate starting today. Has he arrived yet, and if so, where is he now?”

“Oh, that Zane. Nope. Haven’t seen him. S-Sorry. Try coming back later!” He tried to shut the door, but she stopped it with the end of her saber.

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously and Nelson lost all strength in his legs. “May I come in?”

“No!”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean…” He looked to Zane once again for help, but he pounded his fist into his palm threateningly. “It’s a mess in here!”

“I don’t care,” she sneered and pushed the door, but Nelson held firm. He felt the wrath of her judgement zeroing squarely in on him.

“I mean… think about the rumors! W-What would people think if they saw you in a guy’s room?” Even he was unnecessarily flustered at the thought.

“No one is idiotic enough to make that mistake,” she flagrantly replied. “Now if you will excuse me–”

Against Nelson’s protests, Felicia barged in, and to her and Nelson’s surprise, found the room empty.

“This room is a mess,” she said distastefully, though it was understandable given the ritualistic initiation nearly performed only minutes ago.

“Wha– but– I mean– Yeah! T-That’s why… I mean, I tried to warn you… so…”

Felicia immediately identified Zane’s bag on the bed by the door. “I thought you said you hadn’t seen Zane Ashford? Why are his things here?”

“That?! I said– I meant I hadn’t seen him recently! He said something about… the front office?”

“Are you asking me?”

Nelson furiously shook his head. He was struggling as it was not to crumble like a day old cracker, but someone as beautiful and intimidating as Felicia Belafonte in his bedroom on top of the circumstances of the situation did no favors for his nerves.

Felicia drew her rapier and used it to pull back the curtains and lift blankets. Nelson had a mini heart attack every time he thought she would find Zane’s hiding place, but she never did.

With nowhere else to look, she gazed pensively out the window across the courtyard. She put her hand on the latch, then lowered it. “…No. Even he isn’t stupid enough to climb out the second story window.” With a dissatisfied grimace, she left. “Thank you for your cooperation.”

Nelson’s dumbstruck stare followed her as she left, partially in bewilderment that he got away with lying to her, and partially because he was still stunned by her beauty, but mostly he was transfixed on that glorious and sumptuous ass hidden beneath the folds of her skirt.

“Excuse me,” she apologized after bumping into a passing student.

Nelson’s eyes remained fixed on the door long after it shut behind her. He didn’t even realize the student she bumped into stopped beside him, following his gaze.

“That was close,” Zane sighed with relief.

“I wasn’t staring!” Nelson cried, throwing his hands up like someone put a gun to his back. “Gees! Don’t scare me like that! Where did you go?!”

“I climbed out the window.”

“But… But… the window was closed!”

“Yeah, I closed it behind me because I make sure to cover my tracks. Fortunately, there was a girl reading on a bench nearby. I took her glasses and sweater and brushed my hair to the side.”

“That worked?”

“The fencing team is full of idiots. I no longer respect them for kidnapping me.”

Nelson groaned pensively and clutched his head between his hands. “Zane! You can’t just take some girl’s glasses!”

“I gave her five dollars. Besides, I think that’s the least of our concerns right now.”