"Joan! Can you hear me! Joan! Joan, can you hear me, sweetie! Oh by the forge I'll make whoever hurt you pay. Please wake up!"

My mother's voice was frantic. I wanted to speak but my throat felt like I'd swallowed molten metal. I was able to barely croak out a noise, not quite a word but enough to show that I was alive.

"Oh thank you! Thank you!"

She said with a voice that was muffled by my chest. I tried to open my eyes but the light was blinding.

"Li–ght"

Every scratching syllable was agony.

"Is it too dark?"

She responded immediately. I shook my head slowly, even moving my neck was an ordeal.

"Bri–ght."

There was a pause and I'd wondered for a moment if I was understood but thankfully I felt my mother lift me and place me on a bed, a moment later I heard the door shut and I tried opening my eyes again. It was still too bright but after some time I slowly managed to adjust. When I regained my vision I was greeted by a puzzling sight, the room was almost dark, and the only source of light was the faint orange-red glow that seeped in through the cracks of the door.

My mother stood over me looking like she'd aged twenty years in a day from stress.

"What happened? Do you know who did this to you?"

Over time I got my bearings. I was in my mother's room. My clothes were completely soaked and every inch of my skin was wet, if I didn't know better I would have thought I'd just been in a rainstorm. I tried to speak but it proved too much, opting instead to motion writing on my palm.

It took only a moment for my mother to understand, she quickly opened the door and I was momentarily blinded by the light of the setting sun before being thrust back into darkness as the door closed behind her. I tried to use the time to think about what to say but by the time my mother returned I still didn't know. As I sat there quill and paper in hand I eventually settled on writing. 'I think I'm a blade tender.' I didn't want it to be true but I couldn't make sense of what happened any other way. I waited with bated breath for fear of what she might say. Mother looked at me with a relieved grin the same thing you'd give to a mischievous toddler.

"At least I'm glad you've got your sense of humour back. I was worried, you know, take your time and tell me what happened."

but her smile began to falter when I just stared back.

"You're not serious right?"

I didn't know how to express myself so I simply pointed at Father's flamberge. She followed my finger until her eyes rested on the Animus-blade. She looked down to the floor in front of it, where a me-shaped stain of sweat had soaked into the old wood. We were so close to each other physically yet the distance felt like it was rapidly expanding until she made the first move, crossing the endless expanse in a single step.

"It doesn't matter what you are, you're still my daughter. We can work through this."

In the dark we sat together, communication was difficult but I made do. The more we were together the more I realised I worried about the upcoming rite for no reason, her feelings for me wouldn't have changed no matter the result, it seemed obvious now with the curse of hindsight. Knowing that I still had a place to call home lifted one of the great weights from me, but there was still another.

"You'll have to show me your singing sometime."

She said half-jokingly.

"I've never visited a blade tender before. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little unsure. They can see your deepest feelings and memories like an open book, that's not natural."

I crossed out my previous line and wrote a new one below. 'What about Alessia?' my mother looked at my writing and sighed. "I'm sorry, some guards came today and had a look at Jon's place, they don't know where she went but they are pretty sure she ran away. They and a couple of us headed out to comb the area but it looks like she was long gone. I'm sorry."

It still isn't sitting right with me. From what I saw it didn't look like she ran away, or if she did there's no way she could've gotten far. I wanted to join the search but I was forbidden from leaving my bed until I was better. To make sure I behaved my mother had one of her trusted friends watch over me, Hannah but she preferred Auntie Hann. I've known her for all of my life, she was friends with my mother and father before I was born and helped her out a ton after my father died. She was hard to miss being the only red-headed person in our village.

Auntie took her job of looking after me very seriously, only taking her eyes off of me to make food, prepare medicinal herbs for my throat and her job, or fetch more paper for me to write on. She knew me too well, I was planning on sneaking out the first chance I got but there were no chances under her watchful gaze. It took a week before I regained my ability to talk without pain but at least it wasn't wasted.

For the first day, I wasn't allowed to do anything except lie down and read, but once I explained my desire to improve my strength, Hann helped coach me through exercises I could do daily. Jump Squats and reverse lunges, push-ups and plank get-ups, crunches and sit-ups. It all started easily with one repetition of each exercise but every day I needed to add on one more rep.

I had underestimated just how quickly the exercises would become unmanageable and for each failed rep I needed to do two jumping Jacks and then attempt the same number of reps the next day. By now I was up to four reps of each exercise followed by twelve jumping Jacks in the morning and at night.

Each of the exercises targeted different parts of the body. In theory, I knew about the muscles in the body and that they needed to be worked to grow stronger but I couldn't have come up with a workout routine like this, my previous plan was to do a lot of pushups and a lot of running.

It made me wonder what sort of work she used to do to make her so knowledgeable on fitness and training, according to her I had it easy and she'd add laps of the village once I had more stamina. By the end of the week, I hadn't made much progress but I was assured that results would come if I just kept at it every morning and night.

After my last jumping jack, I'd finished today's morning workout. Despite the red-headed woman's motherly appearance, she could be a real slave driver, withholding my breakfast until I'd completed my exercise.

"So you little rapscallion do you mind letting me hear a little song."

Auntie Han said with a cheeky smirk. I looked at her like I'd suddenly been struck dumb but she wasn't having it.

"No use in hiding it kiddo. Your mom talks to me, you know. Besides that, half the village heard you belting out that beautiful song and I know damn well that wasn't your mother's voice or we'd all be deaf."

I tried to play dumb a little longer hoping to call her bluff. Despite my mother's acceptance, it was still a skill that was looked down upon, I'd only ever be considered one step above useless by society.

"What's with that face, keep that up and it'll be stuck like that… No? Maybe I'll just talk to myself for a bit then."

She stood up and wandered over to the kitchen area to prepare breakfast.

"I've seen blade tenders multiple times before, you know that half of them were frauds, half of those were quacks, but in that quarter remaining that's where the competent ones lie. The good ones… well the good ones that I've seen I can count on one hand, but once you've found one you'll wonder how you ever lived without them.

The good ones can see your deepest regrets, the ones you lock away deep in your brain box. You let regrets like that fester for too long and they change you and your blade, sometimes the new you likes the changes. Sometimes a piece of the old you is crying out for help and just needs someone to listen. I've been helped through some dark times by their guidance.

Your mom and pops were always too distrusting to let someone know them that intimately, well can't say I blame them, when you have enough secrets even the shadows appear to be listening. I'll let you gals decide if and when to be open with each other but do it sooner than later so you're not left with the regret of a thousand unsaid words."

Auntie always knew more than she said about everything, it was the first time I'd heard her just speak her mind.

"Still you're pretty unique Jo you know that? Singing? What a strange way to tend. I've seen touching, meditating and tasting! Though that tasting guy was probably just a toucher who wanted a gimmick. Heck, I even saw one guy who just had a frank conversation. When you're feeling a bit more confident don't forget to give me a free trial. If I like what I hear you might even make a customer out of me."

There wasn't any pulling the wool over her eyes so I plucked up my courage and asked the question that was burning at the tip of my tongue.

"Do you know anyone that could teach me? I've heard that those who fail the rite are just abandoned and struggle to live."

"Hah!"

My face burned as the fiery-haired woman just laughed at me.

"I'm serious!"

"I am too kiddo. If your mom and I had enough money to have one of those eccentric weirdos teach you don't you think we'd be out of this dump?"

Learning to read and write was free for children. Once you knew what your Animus-Blade was capable of, you could apprentice under someone or receive basic education. Though there wasn't any information on it surely it would work the same for a confirmed tender like me.

"I thought classes were free?"

"Yeah, the basic stuff is for normal people, sorry kid. You can get the advanced stuff too if your blade is powerful enough. Heck if you're born with the good fortune of being a one in a million you could even get personal tutelage from a big shot.

But bladeless have got it hard, your best bet right now is to find a dime a dozen job and tend on the side, live for free with your mom for as long as you can, save up for a cheap room to tend out of, build up a reputation as honest and trustworthy and by the time you're my age you can be earning a living like this."

She said, raising her arms to the room around us. So basically I was screwed. I wished I'd never asked.