"My liege," Nolwud entreated pitifully, "I don't think it's a lot to ask."

I agreed to take Nolwud on as patron. I don't know why. I wasn't keen on the idea. Typically, patrons were invested in their clients and their work. I couldn't have cared less for the inventor, or science, or the applied levels of education received, or the advances in temporal understanding, or any of the words that spilled out. I didn't think I was required to invest myself in any of it. Nolwud was going to construct a plane shifting device. The rest was inconsequential. I reflected later upon my decision. Was I being too rash? Certainly, access to the parallel worlds would set me apart from my peers and give me the means necessary to finally dispatch Gallivur and Fourmikari. I had plans, possible outcomes based on what happened with the apparatus when it was completed. Doubts remained. What proof did I have that Nolwud would be able to provide? A few lesser baubles with pizazz? What if the boast could not match the outcome? I would feel the fool, and look the fool, and be the fool.

It was imperative that Nolwud's new role didn't slip out. I couldn't bear the embarrassment if I had to explain my association. Anything but 'patron' and I might have felt differently.

Nolwud insisted satisfaction and expressed pride in "gaining a regal employer". I did not see it the same way. I did not employ. An employer was expected to pay. If I hadn't already taken all the phids in the inventor's inventory, I would have demanded a new tithe. I set Nolwud along the path of discovery to see that science was done and done in my favor. I didn't think anything more of it.

Nolwud promised me a plane shifter and instead gave me a headache. "You're being unreasonable," I countered. I had gone to check on the progress and found Nolwud sitting cross-legged on the floor. There was no indication that any work had been attempted. It was unacceptable. "You promised me I would not be disappointed."

"You haven't fed me in a week," grumbled Nolwud.

"You haven't completed the plane shifter."

"How can I complete anything when my thoughts always come back to food?" whined the inventor.

Don't you think it would do to feed the prisoner? suggest Rott from my shoulders.

"No," I replied. He had no way of knowing both conversations hit upon the same topic. I turned back to the inventor. "This is what you wanted, remember? You insisted upon my patronage."

"I expected a bit more than this," said Nolwud. "A proper workshop, for example. Decent lodgings. Meals."

"My." I leaned my head upon the bars of the cell and sneered. "We want everything, don't we?"

It seems unlikely you will get anywhere with this treatment, Rott chastised. He had been opposed to everything. He didn't like the idea of taking on a stranger as client. Then, he didn't like that I had locked the Nolwud back into the dungeon. Now I was too cruel? You ought to provide the basic comforts, my liege. Food. Water. A blanket. Maybe a book or publication to stimulate the imagination...

"Shut up, Rott," I said and flicked the worm on the side of his head. Nolwud watched with a strange expression. I knew it well. I jeered, "What?"

"You carry on as though your worm responds."

I put a hand to my chest. "You think I'm mad?" Lordavis, the crazy magus who spoke to the worms. "Insane and unfair, I suppose."

"Do they respond?"

That was neither here nor there. "Yes," I sniped.

A sigh. Nolwud looked askance. "Fascinating." My liege, you should consider a compromise. Show that you are judicious. The prisoner is downtrodden.

"The poor prisoner thinks I'm mad for talking to you," I explained through the language barrier. Rott's empathy was misplaced. "Our new friend thinks I'm mad for talking to worms."

"I didn't say that."

"I didn't ask you," I barked. I was pleasantly surprised to find the inventor hard at work when we returned that evening. Cogs and springs lined the floor. Nolwud held a delicate box the size of a monocle between fingers and tampered with a fine-tipped tool. I made my presence known. "That's what I want to see."

Nolwud glanced my way then back to the project at hand.

"If you keep this up," I continued, "You'll earn your meals in no time." "I'm unclear why I must remain in the dungeon," said Nolwud.

"Because I said so."

"Yes, but why? I don't intend to go anywhere." Then, "Is there something off limits that I'm not permitted to see?"

"No." My palace was as empty as my lands. I didn't have use for the many rooms and halls. They remained untouched and unused.

"I gave myself a tour--" admitted the inventor.

"Rude," I said.

"...while you were out. Before you put me back here." The device was set aside. "If you give me the room on the second story with the south facing windows, I would be able to work more efficiently."

I parsed which room was referenced. "The enchanting studio?"

"There were crystal shards." Nolwud recreated a symbol in the air. "And a circle with strange etchings."

"That room exists to imbue objects with magical qualities," I lectured. "Not for you to build your toys."

"It has several strong workbenches already installed," stated Nolwud. "And cabinets in the walls. I could collect the equipment I need and store it cleanly. Order is important." Furrowing a brow, it was added, "The idea is for you to imbue the plane shifter with magical qualities. It ought to be there."

"You're staying in the dungeon," I said.

Nolwud sank down. "You're interested in the plane shifter. I don't understand why you're sabotaging my efforts." "Sabotaging?" I gasped in feigned offense. "I'm encouraging you to hone your skills. I'm keeping you away from distractions. Look how it's spurred you into action."

"I'm not building a plane shifter," said Nolwud.

Oh well. "Then you will die."

"Right now," clarified Nolwud. "I'm not building it right now."

"What's that in your hands?" I narrowed my eyes. "It better not be a weapon you intend to use against me."

"It's not." Then, mumbled, "In the conventional sense."

I wasn't going to have any of it. I stuck my hand through the bars. "Give it here."

Nolwud frowned. "It's nothing."

"I'll be the judge of that."

My liege, Rott interceded. I might be a trap.

I withdrew my hand. "Rott will be the judge of that." I gestured emphatically. "Take it." Dutifully, albeit hesitantly, Rott retrieved the box. Nolwud did not struggle. "What is this?" "It's not a weapon," replied Nolwud. "It's not a plane shifter either. What does it do?" A beacon went off. My ring flashed. Eyes fell on my hand. My liege, whimpered Rott, terrified without due cause. "Settle down," I sneered. With a wave of my hand, a familiar form materialized. "It's Gallivur." Gallivur? Rott exclaimed. Why is Gallivur here? How was I to know? "I intend to find out." "That's interesting," remarked Nolwud, creeping closer, inspecting the jewel. "A remote security system. Do you have the means to look upon your whole kingdom?" I brushed the wispsy images away and lowered my hand. "Back up, Inventor." "It's magical, right? There are no mechanical components?" My liege, I have business elsewhere. You will have to contend with Gallivur alone. Rott was halfway down the hall. Which of his many holes would he crawl into? "May I have my things back?" asked Nolwud, ignorant of the situation. Or perhaps because of it. I turned my back to the prisoner and called forth Gallivur's ghost once more. No fear, no hesitation, no uncertainty. The champion knew where to go. The champion would not be deterred. Two larger worms charged in to intercept and were knocked aside effortlessly. I adjusted my ghutrah and realigned my cape. I had to appear competent. "My things?" echoed Nolwud with exasperation. That again. I flicked my wrist."Destroy it," I told Rott. The worm swallowed the cube. The inventor cried out softly. I excused myself to wait. I considered shutting the throne room doors. I fantasized, imagining that Gallviur would force them aside in a show of strength. I would remark on the excessive fanfare designed to impress me. Gallivur would deny it, I would insist it, and we would devolve into the usual antics of our standoffs. It ultimately proved moot. The champion did not arrive from inside but instead scaled the tower and entered through the south window. "Lordavis!" Gallivur bellowed loudly, fists raised and stance readied for combat. I turned, placing a hand to my jaw. "Gallivur! Where have you come from?" With a scoff, I amended. "As if. We've grown tired of biding our time. You took too long." Then, "Someone do something. I want this trash removed immediately." My servants sprang to attention. My liege, they echoed in unison.

Gallivur seethed. "I've heard about your nefarious bargain with Queen Chidsey. Have you no decency at all? You'll never get away with this!" Wait. What? "Hold up." I held up a hand. The worms stopped, regarding me with confusion. Gallivur reacted likewise. "You...didn't make a bargain with Queen Chidsey?" Uncertain. "We talked," I admitted. Gallivur's hands dropped. "She says you agreed to offer sanctuary." Oh, no. No, no, no. "It was proposed and I refused." Naturally, Chidsey would claim otherwise. "The last thing I need is some overfed and unclad vagrant hanging around, popping out her kids. Were I in the market for succession, I wouldn't go to her." "You're considering a successor?" Galliver wondered aloud. "I mean, I guess you could die any day." I resented the sentiment. "I'm not going to be lectured on vitality by someone over one hundred."

"You're not far behind, " countered Gallivur.

"I'm barely ninety," I stiffly informed. Gallivur rubbed the palms together. "Weeeeeeell." Then, "I came here in regards to the Queen Chidsey thing. If you're not involved in any of that, I suppose I should be on my way."

I waved the champion away. How anticlimactic. There would be other times."Yes, yes. Go."

Gallivur made to leave and paused, leg sticking through the window opening. "You're not up to anything, are you?"

I tilted my head innocently. "What do you mean?"

"Against Fourmikari. You haven't tried anything since that Hailfire Orb or whatever."

"Hailferno Sphere." Didn't the assault on Nolwud count for anything? "So?"

"It's awfully quiet," remarked Gallivur. "I can usually find you up to no good."

"Who can say what I've got in the works?" I sang. "I'm sure the Great Champion Gallivur will stop whatever nasty plots I conceive, hm?" Not this time. This time things would turn out differently. I needed the inventor to stop messing around and build the device I had been promised. "Gallivur, champion of the land."

"Enough," huffed Gallivur. "I've got my eye on you. Don't think for one moment you can get away with anything." "Get out of my kingdom," I sneered. "Or I'll kill you right now."

I waited until my uninvited visitor had departed to return to the inventor. Nolwud hunched in a corner, fiddling with a new gadget. I was given a cursory greeting. "Gallivur is gone. Where were we?"

"Where's Rott?"

Since when did Nolwud care about the worm? "Rott will come along in time." "You two have an interesting relationship," observed the prisoner.

I was unclear. "Who? Rott and I or Gallivur and I?"

Nolwud laughed. "Either."

I bristled. Laughter? In light of the situation, Nolwud shouldn't have been able to laugh."You find this amusing?"

"I do," admitted Nolwud. "It's not how I anticipated things to turn out."

"I wonder if you can anticipate what I will do next." I taunted. "Will I humor you further or will I finally make good on my threats of death?"

"Have you considered trapping your kingdom?" A shift in focus. "Beyond the beacons." Nolwud raised palms and motioned. "Something unseen that delivers an electric shock. It might be useful to corral people into the areas your worms can get to them." A shrug. "Just a thought."

"And you are the one to build them for me, I suppose? In exchange for better treatment?"

"We didn't establish any basic exchange or policies," said Nolwud. "In hindsight, I can see it was necessary. I would like to revise our agreement or draft a new one."

My liege, has Gallivur gone? Rott slithered from the darkness and coiled at my ankles. I put my hands to my waist.

"Do you know what the inventor has just proposed to me, Rott? A agreement. It seems the old one is unsatisfactory."

"The old one is unsatisfactory," said Nolwud. "I would like to include some provisos.." This would be good. I chortled. "List your demands. Let's see how fanciful they are."

"A workshop. The former enchanting studio, preferably. The means to get the parts I need to work."

"No, and I gave you your chest back." The wooden box sat in the back of the cell. It was loaded to the brim with gears, and bits, and bobs. Nolwud could work with what already existed. "Quarters outside of the dungeon." The dungeon had worked thus far. It was out of sight and monitored. There was no risk of my 'client' being revealed. I wasn't a patron if it couldn't be proven. "They don't have to be nice but I'd like somewhere above ground with a window. I would be willing to set up a cot in the workshop." "Why don't I give you free reign of the kingdom and a title while I'm at it?" I offered facetiously.

"That would be fantastic!" exclaimed Nolwud, thoroughly pleased by this development.

"It was a joke."

Nolwud's gaze lowered to my feet. "What do you think about it, Rott?"

I snorted. "He can't understand you."

The inventor beamed, prodded the object in his lap, and put forth, "You do understand me, don't you, Rott?"

The worm jerked up suddenly. What? What was that?

"Did he respond? Did he say anything?" Nolwud took Rott's reaction as a positive sign. "It only works one way at the moment. I don't understand the worm lexicon. Yet."

I looked from Rott to Nolwud to Rott again. "You cannot possibly think that worked."

Nolwud's jaws clicked and head shook. "I'm fascinated by the prospect that cross species communication to such a degree is possible. I wanted to test for myself."

My liege, gasped Rott. I can understand.

"Impossible," I snarled. "You don't understand anything. It's a coincidence."

It is very poor. Murky. Rott inched closer to the bars. The inventor is talking about communication. Right? "That 'weapon' you took from me earlier was a transmitter. I'm spoofing the chemical signals used in communication between worms."

Yes, said Rott. Again, I hear 'communication'.

"It isn't working," I insisted. It is working, my liege, said Rott, perturbed. "Rott, evacuate."

But my liege, the worm began.

"Do it," I commanded without warmth. Out came the device. I set it ablaze.

"I'm still trying to figure out how you do it," said Nolwud. "I understand you. He understands you. You're speaking two languages at once. Given the nature of things, that shouldn't be possible."

"Instead of wasting your time on parlour tricks," I said sternly, "You ought to be building the plane shifter."

"I will when you make me an equal," said Nolwud.

"An equal?" This was an exponential divergence from the arrangement. "I liked the idea of a title," said Nolwud, leaning against the wall with hands behind the head. "I've never had one. The vassals back home would be envious if I were to tell them I had been appointed a court position."

"I should have known you were a vassal," I remarked. It made sense. The scared, lost stranger from before replaced with the entitled clod who thought I would give out titles to my prisoners.

"I prefer to think of myself as a scientist."

"You can think of yourself as a carcass until you make that plane shifter," I declared. "You will get nothing from me until it's done." I was extremely disappointed to find Nolwud munching on a pile of potatoes when I returned the next day. A friendly wave and greeting. No comment on the situation. No attempt to hide the windfall. I screeched, "What did you get those?"

Crunch. "Worms brought them." Crunch. Crunch.

"I gave no such command."

"I asked nicely." Nolwud grinned. "They understand body language. We've made an arrangement." Nolwud gnawed on a knuckle. "I think. From what I can tell, they're keen to communicate."

"If they want to communicate, they can do so with me." My ever-present companion was strangely absent. I called out, "Rott!"

Nothing.

"I could be convinced to abandon this project," said Nolwud, shoveling another potato between jaws. "This whole 'talk to the worms' one, I mean. Particularly if my days were occupied working on a plane shifter." I glowered. The inventor chuckled. "But first, I would need to be given a workshop. And chambers. I've been thinking and there's no reason to settle for second rate quarters. You have enough space."

"No."

"Also, I've decided on my title. I'd like to be your Royal Technologist. I'll take any of the perks you imagine go along with that. If you need help thinking up some, I can help."

"'Technologist' isn't a real word," I said.

"Then you'll be the first to have one! I will make you a plane shifter. I will give you everything you desire within my capabilities. I will forgo morality and common sense for the sake of your cause. There is no ulterior motive beyond the pursuit of science. "

"I'll kill you," I said flatly. "I can always go that route again. There's no reason to tolerate this. You do as I tell you or you die. There is no middle ground." Nolwud ruminated. "I'll also build you a laser scepter."

That is how the Nolwud became Royal Technologist of the Kingdom of Ever-Worms.