《He was a Man, and I was a Villain》5. Fine Dining and Breathing
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I teleported to the McBurger King on 4th, across from the Genewall office building. Blue and red walls welcomed me. Bolted tables and chairs, the kid’s play area, it felt like home. A kid had probably peed in the ball pit though. The scent of urine slapped me as soon as I appeared. Seriously, the bathroom was down the hall. That and regular weird people smells singed my nose hairs.
I strutted to the bored man at the register. He eyed me with half-lidded ambivalence.
“Sup Chaos. Want the usual?”
Oh, this drone knew me. I squinted at his name tag.
“Yes Mark, if that’s even your real name.”
“Chaos, I’m too sleepy for this right now. Give me your card.”
“How do I know you’re not a spy sent to steal my information?”
The man rubbed his face as if to force himself awake.
“I already have your information. We play poker every week.”
“Likely story.”
“I’d love to play along dude, but I’ve got orders to fill. Let’s do this later.”
Hmph, he’d won this time, but tomorrow would be different. I handed him my card. He nodded his head in thanks.
“Bro, you still down to be the clown at my daughter’s birthday party on Saturday? If you flake, she’ll be bummed.”
“Count on it. The world sorely lacks good clowns. It’s a lost art.”
Mark handed back the card.
“Swag bro. I got the new hire to cover my shift the day after so we can hang if you want. Some pals will be pub crawling.”
“Sorry, I can’t. I already promised to be a nude model for Joan’s art class that day.”
“Joan from 7th?“
“Yeah.”
He clicked his tongue. The McBurger Kings on 4th and 7th had an intense rivalry.
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“Traitor.”
“Hey, I need to know everyone important like you, Joan, and the governor. Which reminds me, you got a new hire?”
“Yeah, he started today. Asher Madison.”
He gestured behind him to a man mopping the kitchen. Crap, it was Iseult. He must’ve been here to probe Genewall. I couldn’t let him see me before the big reveal. I ducked behind the counter. Mark peered over with a raised eyebrow.
“What’s up, dude?”
“I asked him out and he rejected me. I’m too embarrassed to meet him again.”
“What, bro? That sucks.”
A huge smirk worked its way across his face.
“Yo, Asher. There’s a customer here who wants to see you.”
Darn it, Mark. Iseult’s footsteps clacked to the counter.
“I do not see anyone here.”
“He’s hiding behind the counter. Very shy.”
A shadow crossed over the counter so I teleported to the hallway. I watched him with my Spectral Vision, safely from view.
“There is no one.”
“He’s listening. That’s the problem with teleporters. Never know where they’ve gone.”
Iseult scanned the store, on edge.
“Did this man act fucking unhinged?”
“I wouldn’t call him that. He plays around but has a good heart.”
He eyeballed Mark.
“We must be speaking of different people.”
“Nope. You’re thinking of Chaos, too.”
Iseult stalked back to his mop.
“I will not dignify this bullshit.”
“Why not? He’s a great guy. During the Arcana Disaster, Chaos saved mine and my wife’s lives. My daughter would’ve been orphaned.”
Iseult briefly paused his task.
“I see. Of course a fucking villain would save more people than heroes.”
Mark opened his mouth to continue, but I knew where this conversation led. I teleported three pickle chips into his mouth. He spluttered and pickle chips shot everywhere. Hehe, Mark hated pickles. That was retribution for spilling my dark past. I teleported back to the counter and rested an elbow on it.
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“Fancy meeting you here, mystery man.”
Iseult groaned.
“I cannot believe I chose to work at the store you frequent.”
“I eat at every McBurger King. If you work here, this must be fate. Let me reintroduce myself. My name is Chaos Theory, what’s yours?”
Mark cut in.
“Bro, you didn’t know his name? I just told you it’s Asher.”
He shook his head.
“That’s embarrassing.”
I knew his name, and it wasn’t Asher. But I couldn't expose him. He’d get suspicious.
“Well Asher, I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with Mark—“
“Told you he was listening.”
“—And I was wondering if maybe you changed your mind about getting coffee with me.”
He didn’t look away from his task.
“Fuck no.”
“As I thought. Mark, my food.”
I tried to appear sad about his rejection, but it wasn’t hard to fake. I’d hoped for a yes. However, this was for the best. Our relationship wouldn’t be possible. Surah had put a hit on him. Mark scratched his cheek.
“Sorry man, it's not out yet.”
Crap, awkward. No, it was awkward if you made it awkward. Be cool.
“That’s fine. I’m chill. I’ll just stand here like a cucumber. A cool cucumber.”
Nice. I pulled it off.
“Bro, sit down. I’m getting second-hand embarrassment.”
Was I that obvious? I peeked at Iseult, and he snickered to himself. Well, at least I got him to laugh. His smile made me all warm and fuzzy inside.
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