His eyes shook and his perfect, unblemished skin developed a pinkish hue. I rubbed my thumb on his cheek, the skin soft like a seedless bun. His smell… actually he smelled like sweat and gunpowder, but I could ignore that.

“Wwa r yo dooig?”

Oops, I held him too tight. He couldn’t speak. I let go and went back to boxing him in with my arms.

“What did you say, dear?”

“What the fuck? You are crazy.”

“Please, Crazy’s my dog’s name. Call me Chaos.”

“Let me go! I am not interested in men.”

I laughed.

“Same, or more like I’ve never been attracted to anyone until you.”

His face twisted.

“All heroes are the same, exerting power because no one can stop them. As expected from a Genewall hero.”

I released his chin and gave him some space. I didn’t want to come on too strong.

“I’m not a Genewall nerd. They can't afford me, the greatest Youtuber on the planet.”

“Then who commands you?”

“I speak for the trees.”

“I swear to God, shut the fuck up with your nonsen—“

“Hey, language. I’m a family channel and if we want this relationship to work, you’ll need to tone down the swearing. Especially to God. Swear to Jesus like the rest of us.”

He glared at me and speed walked down the hallway, his invisibility cloak draped over him. I teleported and held his arm.

“Wait, I’ll stop joshing now, I promise. I’m your friendly neighborhood Youtuber. I guess that means Google’s my boss?”

He wrenched his arm from my grasp.

“I do not have time for your bullshit. I must finish my mission before I am discovered.”

“Well, the gun didn’t help.”

I peered past the walls and noted five security guards rushing over. The group took up too much space to shift them all at once, so I teleported them to the top floor one at a time. Have fun in Tombo’s office.

“Took out security for you. See, I can help… for a price.”

I waggled my eyebrows at him. He stared at me like I was a dead bug.

“No need. Leave me the fuck alone. That will be the greatest assistance you can give.”

“Hey, give me a chance. Is it money you’re looking for?”

I teleported all the researchers’ wallets onto the floor.

“This is all the money in the facility. Or is it business secrets?”

A phat stack of papers stamped confidential fell before us. He clicked his tongue.

“Quit fetching random fucking shit. It irritates me. I am searching for my business partner. Genewall kidnapped her last week and I wish to free her.”

He glanced at his shoes, attempting to disguise his mournful expression. He hadn’t said everything. That passion in his eyes and undisclosed sorrow. From his face alone, I could tell his secret.

“She owes you money, doesn’t she.”

His burning gaze shot back to me.

“No, you imbecile. She is the only person I trust and she is fucking gone. Who knows the torture she is enduring.”

I peered through the building and into the underground floors. Hmm, a couple strange things lay around. I teleported a caged woman into the room. Squid tentacles sprouted from her exposed back in grotesque clumps of flesh.

“Is this your partner?”

“…No. The fuck?”

The woman groaned.

“Please, my children—“

Too late. I put her back. Surah wanted me to keep my nose out of serious business. On to the next.

“Where did you send her?”

“Back underground.”

“But you could save her. Why do you waste your gifts on useless shit?”

“Listen, if I saved one person, I’d need to save everyone. I’d melt under the pressure, crushed by expectations and failure.”

I shrieked in falsetto.

“Please Chaos Theory, find my pet rat. Also, that old lady needs help crossing the street. And while you’re at it, stabilize the economy.”

I switched back to my regular voice.

“No, lady. If I do one, you’ll expect me to do the others. How am I supposed to find a random rat in Three Faces? They all look the same. Therefore, the logical thing is to do none.”

“…Do you speak from experience?”

I gazed into the ceiling wistfully. Marshall the kind-hearted rat, you would be missed. I teleported another caged being into the hallway to dodge the question. Those memories wouldn’t haunt me again.

“Is this your partner?”

“Fuck no. Put that back.”

I held the five foot long sabertooth tiger covered in writhing toothed tentacles and pet its head. Countless eyes peered at me from bulbous sacs swelling from its body. Good kitty. But the strange man hates you, so back to the pits you go.

“Those are all the caged test subjects here unless she’s a fish or something.”

He shook his head and rubbed his chin.

“Are you certain? This is the third facility I have raided and the last one which made sense.”

The man observed the floor in thought. His eyes wandered to the confidential papers littering the tile, and he snatched them up. He scanned through them with an experienced gaze and paused on a particular document.

“A huge cocktail of chemicals is heading to the 4th street offices. That should be the legal department, so they do not need that shit.”

He slapped the papers.

“Of course. Genewall must place all their sketchy shit in an unassuming branch. It is a classic front organization.”

The man folded the loose papers and crammed them into one of many pockets. I tapped my foot.

“You done?”

“Yes, nothing remains for me here.”

“Good.”

I snapped my fingers and teleported us into an alleyway.