Alexei couldn’t forget the day he first met Kleo. Alexei was new to the school that year, him and his family recently moving to Safehaven for his father’s job. Seventh grade Alexei wasn’t too happy about going to a new school. He liked his old school plenty and missed his friends from back home. This new school was larger though, and he had to admit, he did enjoy the classes there a bit more. Alexei didn’t actually notice Kleo at first. He sat quietly on the opposite side of the room from him and usually, Alexei spent his free time talking to the kids around him.

The day he first truly noticed Kleo was Valentines Day. Some girl had set her sight on the younger boy and he looked so confused with his face flushed. Alexei remembered feeling bit of pity for the boy. He was so to himself, that confession must have definitely came out of nowhere. He was more aware of him after that day.

He thought Kleo was tall for his age, and was equally awkward as he was shy. He was a quiet kid, and Alexei thought that maybe he just felt weird being in a higher level English class with kids who were older than him. He could tell he was a smart kid and he didn’t think he had many friends. At least, anytime he noticed Kleo, he was alone with some book pressed against his face. Whether it was in class, at lunch, or even in the halls, he’d always find him with his nose nestled between the pages of some book. He was curious about him, honestly. So one day, he approached him.

“Yo,” Alexei said as he sat at the table across from Kleo. Kleo sat there, reading his book as Alexei waited for a response. Was he being ignored? Alexei cleared his throat, reaching over to tap the table to try and get his attention. Kleo finally looked up, a look of surprise on his face.

“Oh! Sorry,” he apologized quietly and Alexei noted the way he became a bit embarrassed just then.

“You’re Kleo, right?” He asked and Kleo looked a little confused.

“Yeah?”

“My name’s Alexei, I’m in your English class,” he explained and Kleo nodded. Did this dude know how to hold a conversation? Alexei eyed the book he was reading. It didn’t look like the one they had to read for class. “What’s that you’re reading?” He asked and Kleo just looked back at him for a moment before lifting his book.

“Uhh,” his voice seemed to catch in his throat. “It’s The Hobbit,” he said, speaking up a bit more.

“What’s it about?” Alexei asked, genuinely curious as to what in the heck a hobbit was, but he couldn’t help but notice the spark that ignited in Kleo’s eyes and the way a smile started to form on his lips as he started to explain to him the plot of the book in excruciating detail.

That day, Alexei decided he wanted to be friends with this shy, bookworm of a boy. He didn’t know when it happened exactly, but they became really close. The two found themselves and each other’s house on the regular. It got to the point that come Christmas, Kleo’s mom had made a stocking with Alexei's name on it to hang over their fireplace. When Arina passed, it was a shock to everyone. Alexei couldn’t begin to understand how much Kleo must have been hurting, but he tried his best to make sure that he knew he was there. He’d always make sure that Kleo knew he had him in his corner.

All through high school, Alexei tried his best to get his friend to come out of his shell. This was especially the case when Alexei started his senior year. He would be going to college soon and wouldn’t be around Kleo as often. Whether it be with after school clubs or parties, or even just going on a date. He didn’t miss the way some girls would look at him, but he could never tell if Kleo ever noticed. There was one girl that Kleo formed a crush on. She was in a class with Kleo and Alexei noticed how she would come around their spot at lunch or approach him in the hallway between class. It was obvious that the girl had a crush on him and Kleo obviously had a crush on her as well, but actually getting Kleo to work up the nerve to ask the girl out nearly made Alexei’s hair fall out.

It was halfway through second semester of Alexei’s senior year when Kleo finally worked up the nerve to ask the girl out. He was happy for his friend, he really was. However, he couldn’t help the part of him that sort of wished that it did’t work out. He hated that part of him felt that way. He should be happy and relieved that Kleo had someone else now. Maybe he had grown so used to having all of his attention and time for so long. That felt beyond selfish and he knew it was more than that. It was more than he wanted to think about at that moment in his life. He was graduating in a month and would be starting college to work on a chemistry degree shortly after that. He didn’t want to think about the fact that he had fallen for his best friend. He didn’t want to think about the fact that he had just helped set him up with some girl.

Alexei quickly became good at hiding his feelings for Kleo, and starting college proved to help since he didn’t see him nearly as often as he had before. Of course, they still hung out, but it was nowhere near as constant. This was good, Alexei thought. He had a chance of his own to try and sort out his feelings, and by sort out, he meant shove them deep beneath a rug whilst he distracted himself with school and parties. His roommate in the freshman commons excelled in Rager 101 and always knew of any party going on. With the amount of nights he was gone from their shared room, he didn’t know how the dude was passing his classes. But Alexei graciously accepted multiple of the invited directed his way and even passed a few along to Kleo. He knew it wasn’t something Kleo would probably say yes to, but part of him hoped he could drag him out to one. He wanted to see Kleo let loose, with no inhibitions. He wanted to see Kleo have that type of fun. He wanted to get to know that Kleo just as much as he knew any other side of him.

A part of him felt relief, when Kleo would turn him down, just cause he didn’t know what he’d do if he said yes. Part of him didn’t know if a drunk Alexei would be able to stop himself from kissing the boy the moment he was close enough. The other part of him was sure he’d be fine, but maybe Kleo saying no was for the best. So, Alexei went to those parties alone, cause he never had a problem with meeting new people and finding a place to fit in. He told a couple guys yes when he got a little too gone and tried his best to not imagine it was Kleo who he shared those nights with.

It was around the winter holiday when Kleo told him that he broke up with his girlfriend.

“It was amicable,” he said.

Alexei didn’t know what to do with that information, but he tried to ignore the part of him that felt joy when he heard that. When Alexei pressed, genuinely curious as to what had changed to make them suddenly split, he definitely noticed the bit of red that formed on Kleo’s cheeks. Kleo didn’t answer right away, and that made him suspicious, but he wouldn’t allow himself to indulge into what he wished the reason was.

“Honestly, we just realized we were better suited as friends.”

He knew Kleo enough to know that there was more to the story, and he could tell that Kleo was somewhat embarrassed by the reason. His curiously definitely began to get the best of him as he watched his friend squirm a bit in his seat. All it took was a raised eyebrow and a look that said, I’m not buying it, for Kleo to cave.

“Alright, alright,” he sighed, his face red. “She’s sweet and was great and all but, we just grew apart. It probably didn’t help that she realized I was bi and suddenly wanted to become some sort of wingman rather than a girlfriend…” Kleo continued on with his reasoning and Alexei just blinked, his mind processing one word specifically that just came out of his mouth.

“Wow,” was all he could say, effectively and accidentally cutting off Kleo whose face looked to be about the same shade of red as his jacket now.

“Surprising, huh?” He said with a chuckle and Alexei refrained from muttering the word, understatement.

“When did you realize?” Alexei couldn’t help but ask. Kleo knew of Alexei’s orientation since high school, so why did he seem so nervous to tell him?

“I guess I sort of always knew, but didn’t really realize it until now.”

Alexei definitely wanted to know what the fuck that meant, but could tell that Kleo was done with the conversation. There were very few things that Kleo would wall off from even him, and for some reason, whatever brought on that realization was one of them.

However, Alexei felt a bit of hope that day and those feelings began to crawl their way from beneath that rug. The pessimist in him definitely thought he was crazy to allow himself that, for fear of hurting himself even worse in the end. It wanted to keep it all shoved deep down, buried and stomped away, but the hope, no matter how small, was too strong.

That hope was still there, almost a year later, as Alexei watched Kleo try to decide between a set of metal or glass dishes for Nox. (For someone so particular, he was always so indecisive.)

He smiled softly as he watched him find whatever he deemed perfect for his new cat and thought, for now, he was happy with moments like these.