《Nobody's Way》Chapter 4 - Gillele's Longing

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"I'm so glad you came with me." Gillele's whispered babbling began the moment they heard soft snores from behind the wooden door of Madrigal's bunk. "I've never talked to a boy alone! What am I supposed to even say?!"

"What, you think I know? Why did you invite him?" Jian hissed as she grabbed her friend's hand, wishing she could reduce Gil's volume level with the gesture alone. "Now you have to take care of him. And you don't know the first thing about him!"

"Well, you don't have to, you know? You can go home," Gillele said, though it was clear to Jian that her friend counted on her staying. Gil's gaze flicked toward the room where Madrigal slept.

"Are you joking? And leave you here alone with him?" Five other people lived in the spacious home, and yet, not a single one had rushed back at the news of a stranger bunking in their spare room. Not even Gillele's older sister, equally fraught on her hunt for a partner at eighteen. "Where is everyone?"

"Mother's teaching the young ones again."

"And your father?"

"He's with the group that went out to harvest greens on the east plains. They have to bring everything back before the weather turns, later in the week. Lysanne and Mora went with him."

Jian groaned. Gillele's father and sisters could be away most of the week, if that were true. "No wonder Lysanne isn't here. I'm sure she'd be all over your handsome stranger."

"Jian! I'm so glad you agree he's handsome. I was worried that maybe I couldn't properly judge."

She rolled her eyes. "Please. You just said back in the square that you didn't even care what he looked like."

"I don't, but it doesn't hurt if he is, right?"

Jian supposed it couldn't. There was no question Madrigal exuded rugged appeal—as men went, she knew height like his and a full, bushy head of hair would be in demand with the unmarried women of Elsinoor who hadn't seen a predestined life partner in their Pathfinding. She didn't point out, though, that there was a red flag; Madrigal's wariness and distrustful looks surely meant there was some reason a handsome young man his age would be traipsing through the northlands with a rusted sword rather than settling down in Laundonia to start a family. For men, Pathfinding almost always revealed their life partner.

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Without that, Jian supposed, Maere would have a much harder time convincing Her citizens to play nicely with each other.

"Lysanne had a partner Path, but she couldn't see her future husband's face in it. I hope it isn't Madrigal." Gillele looked worried. "I'm sure her partner wasn't a swordsman, though. But maybe in her Path vision, he's given up travelling already to settle down. What'll I do if it is him?"

"No way to know." Jian sighed. "If you want to get to know him, though, bringing him home is a good way to do that before she comes back. It'll be easier to talk." She didn't want to mention that Madrigal had at least a few years on Gillele, and either one of her elder sisters would be a much closer age match for him.

Gillele's pale face was so flushed, her freckles seemed to darken in colour. "I don't know what to say."

Jian didn't, either. There'd been no same-age boys in their class, and unlike Gillele, Jian didn't have male cousins or young neighbours. She didn't know the first thing about talking to the opposite sex. "He's a traveller. He must have lots of interesting stories, right? You can ask about that. You can find out about this place he's from, Laudonia. I think it's near Kesmet."

"I wish I knew about what he saw in his Path already." Gillele sighed. "Then at least I'd know if he saw my sister, or some other girl, in his future. You know?"

"You can't ask him about that! You only just met!"

"I won't," she promised. "Not yet!"

Jian couldn't be sure, given how prone Gil was to saying whatever came into her head without stopping to consider whether the other person was ready to hear it. "Besides, he's in your house already, you goose. You'll find out soon enough if he's planning to leave again right away."

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Gillele nodded. "I suppose."

"He isn't very talkative, either. I wonder, can you live with that?"

"I'm sure it's fine. He's probably just tired, you know?"

"Right. A long day, I can understand that."

"I heard you were with the Elders most of the day," Gillele said. "What happened?"

Jian put her head down on her arms, focusing on a knot in the wooden table. Gil was her closest same-age friend; one of the few girls in their class who were bookish. Yet revealing one's thoughts to Gil often ended with that thought making its way through the vine to quite a few others.

Still, Gillele understood what it was like to be frustrated with her future, more than many adults would. She'd undergone three months of a Pathfinding trial—as a girl who'd lived all her life in a houseful of people, Jian knew it had to have been difficult for Gil to be all alone in the wilderness for even a week, much less twelve of them. To return home with a Path that didn't reflect her desires must have been even more challenging. If there were anyone Jian could trust with her fears, it should be Gillele.

"I just received my Path vision, but I don't remember most of it, and I don't understand it at all. Neither do the Elders. They don't know what to do with me."

"Tell me everything." Gil's brown eyes were shining. "I'm an expert at Pathfinding lore."

Jian described the figure, the feeling that washed over her, and the mysterious voice saying "Homeland." Then she recounted the reaction of Elders Veila, and the others, divided over its meaning.

Gillele's open mouth grew wider with each moment. "So they think it might be about priestesshood? I thought the Elders knew all about these things. How can they not tell you which it is?"

"They've never heard of a Path so unclear that it can't be remembered." Jian took a deep breath. "And Elder Veila certainly thinks I'm making it all up. Mother believes it's a vision of me as a priestess, communing with the Goddess, and the rest will be revealed later. But I don't think that's true. My Pathfinding was so different from everyone else's. There must be more to it, don't you think?"

"You might be right," Gil said. "Everyone I know saw their vision from afar, without interacting with it. Nothing at all like you saw. For me, I saw a vision of myself teaching at the nursery school, just like Mother. I'm older than I am now, but I know it's me. And two of the children in the pack are mine, the spitting image. There's plenty to think about—who's their father? Is he my life partner? Are these the only children I'll have?—but it's not ambiguous. Not like yours. I understood my vision."

"And mine's the total opposite; I don't remember it all, and I certainly don't understand it. I don't know if the Elders can interpret this for me, Gil. Everything they suggest feels wrong, somehow."

Gil's brow knotted with concern. "What feels right? Do you have any inkling?"

The clearest memory of all was that one spoken word. The only thing she'd been able to parse of the strange tongue the violet-eyed stranger had spoken in.

Homeland.

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