Elias

Elias swallowed two caffeine pills as he joined Abigail out on the deck. The captain was pushing the boat to its destination at a steady pace. The Harbour Bridge, Circular Quay and the Opera House were long behind them. The suburbs slipping by them now were unfamiliar to Elias, but judging by the number of busy marinas and grand houses, these were the wealthy eastern suburbs of Point Piper and such. Vegetation covered the heads on the northern side; Elias guessed Mosman was hidden somewhere behind those trees and shrubs.

"Middle Head is coming up," Abigail said.

Elias nodded absently. He had no idea which of Sydney Harbour's countless promontories was Middle Head.

A boatload of tourists whizzed by, leaving trails of white foam far behind them. They waved. It seemed to be a thing people did out on the water, so Elias and Abigail waved back. The tourists were enjoying a sunny day out on the harbour, they couldn't know the reason Elias and Abigail were out here today.

The captain steered their little boat along the line of a peninsula to their right. It was only when they had come past the peninsula's western tip and could see the red and white striped lighthouse atop the peninsula's larger, eastern tip that Elias realised they were by the South Head.

Elias took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. The North and the South Heads guarded the two-kilometre-wide entrance to the harbour, beyond was open ocean.

I'm not ready for this.

Half a dozen other boats bobbed about the entrance and a pair of empty container ships lingered out near the horizon, waiting to be let into the port. There were no comforts of Sydney's sheltered bays out here. A cold wind tore through the opening between the two heads. As they made their way out of the harbour and into open water, the waves grew larger. Their boat seemed too fragile to be out this far from shore.

Abigail, more talkative this morning than she had been in days, nudged him with her elbow. "Look, dolphins."

There was a pair of them no more than thirty metres from the boats, diving in and out of the water. Elias chuckled. They looked like they were enjoying themselves.

"Never expected dolphins out here."

"You see them sometimes when surfing," Abigail replied. "This seems like a sign. Shall we..."

Elias nodded. He let the captain know to stop the engine and returned to the deck. Abigail took the lid off the box they had brought with them.

"How do we do this?" she asked.

"I don't know."

They had asked the crematorium to mix the ashes. It had seemed like the right thing. Whatever their parents' faults and despite the manner of their deaths, Elias had always thought they genuinely loved each other. Looking down at the basin filled with ashes, however, Elias felt ill. His mum and dad — this was all that was left. So little. Nothing of his mum's hair or —

He cut himself off as the images of his parents' bodies burning in the crematorium poured forth. Elias wasn't ready to contemplate that.

Instead, he scooped a handful out of the basin and stretched out his hand over the side of the boat. He opened his fist and let the wind scatter the ashes over the water. Abigail shadowed his movements.

"Wish I had something to say," she said. "People read poetry at times like this."

Elias took another handful out of the basin. He hated the way the ash settled on his skin as if it were common dust and how it melted into nothing the moment it hit the water. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. That's the Bible, isn't it? Until now, he had always thought the words were intended as a metaphor.

"I'm sorry," Elias said quietly. "And thank you for trying your best."

Abigail wiped tears off her face. "Not much more to say, is there?"

In silence, they scattered the rest of their parents' ashes, then Abigail asked the captain to take them back to the shore. Elias held onto the empty box as the boat returned to the safety of the harbour. Two people were gone, all customary ceremonies now completed. He would burn the box when they got home, staring at it made him feel sick. Beyond that, he was as empty as that damned box.

Grimacing, he pushed it under the seat and out of view.

"I've made up my mind," Abigail said.

Elias felt his face sink. "Well?"

She didn't have to reply, he knew the answer already — they had spent enough time discussing this over the past weeks. Some of the plan he agreed with entirely. Abigail was wasting her time and a fair amount of government money on her degree. He was all for Abigail cutting her losses, dropping out to go work or go travelling until she came up with what she wanted to do. Except what she wanted to do was downright stupid.

"You asked me once if I had a death wish," Elias said. "Now I have to ask: do you? We were just about useless throughout the entire time. The only reason we're alive is that no one thought us a threat worthy of the effort to swat us out from existence."

"Ramiel will train me."

"You'll never match an angel."

Abigail bit her lip. "I'm not trying to. Look, you have your life planned out — med school, family, kids, a pretty house, all of that. Whenever I thought about the future, I only saw myself alone and miserable. Perhaps I won't live to old age, but in the years I do, I will make a difference."

In hindsight, Elias should have thrown out Ramiel when he had shown up on their doorstep again. He was the one who had told Abigail the sob-story about the shield's continued unstable state and how demons were likely to slip in. Ever since then, Abigail was determined to pair up with Ramiel and turn herself into a demon hunter.

Fixated really. Like mum during one of her manic stages.

"All right," Elias said, "setting aside the danger to yourself, what about the blood and gore you inflict onto others?"

"You're the one who killed Jala."

"I was angry, I wasn't thinking straight. And I regret that," Elias replied. "I regret I didn't do anything to help that guard at the theatre, just as I regret I didn't stay at the hospital in Bolivia and help the staff there."

"You'll be a good doctor, Elias," Abigail said. "That's not me."

"What about Kalvin?"

He hated to evoke the name. Kalvin's report to the police had caused Elias problems he was still untangling. But even if he begged, Elias couldn't compel his sister to stay.

"Kalvin and I haven't spoken in weeks. I tried to explain, he told me to go see a shrink. I tried to show him, but he pretty much threw me out before I had a chance." Abigail pushed away the hair the wind was whipping into her eyes. "Do you want to call the real estate agent or shall I? As you said, best get the groundwork done as early as possible."

Once the legalities were finally settled, their parents' estate would be split between them. Neither of them wanted to live in their parents' house and if they were to rent it out, extensive renovations would be necessary to bring it to the market standard. Selling and splitting the profits was the logical solution.

Elias sighed. "I'll do it."

He turned away and watched the expensive, water-front properties drift by. Why would anyone need a pool when you live right above the waterline? Not once in his life had he seen one of those pools actually in use.

In truth, Elias was projecting his anger about Abigail's decision to the people who owned these houses. He would have denied Abigail any claim on their parents' house. Without funds, her plans for adventure would be curtailed. Unfortunately, he had no ground to stand on.

Likely, the new owners would buy it only for the land and would tear down the house in order to build a bland two-storey that matched the rest of the suburb. Elias wasn't especially distraught about that. It was just a house.

But the thought of Abby walking away and never coming back left his insides twisting in fear. Everyone else is already gone. Not Abby too.

"I can't..." He began and trailed off, uncertain of what he had been meaning to say.

She came up beside him and rested her head against his shoulder. "I'll be fine, I promise."

"How can you make that promise?" he asked.

She had no answer for him.