That evening, Scarlett disappeared into the room Basil had arranged for her without having dinner and I heard nothing from her for the rest of the night. I guess she’d been tired. I wasn’t feeling very hungry either, but I forced down a hunk of bread and then lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. With my mind as troubled as it was, I doubted I’d get much sleep. Eventually thought, I drifted off…

***

I squinted in the glare of the afternoon sun, which hung overhead. It was bright against the blue of the open sky, and not a cloud could be seen as far as I looked. A light breeze wafted in over the crest of the green hill that rose behind me, sending grass flying into the air, only to drift down to the ground around me once more. I heard the sound of a children’s laughter, and the two girls bolted past me, their faces bright with cheer as they chased after each other. Their bare feet crunched the fresh shards of verdant beneath their dainty toes as they ran through the summer meadow.

I made my way after them and caught up when they collapsed in hysterics beneath a tree. I smiled. It made sense that Avi and Emilia would get along. They were a similar age, and they seemed to be able to talk for hours on end. I took a seat in the shade some distance from them and watched as they laughed together. The scene was so soothing. I sighed.

I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed in the fresh air. It was a perfect day. My skin still tingled with the heat of the sun, and the ground on which I sat was not even, but it didn’t bother me in the slightest.

A few moments later, I became aware of the silence around me. Huh? I opened my eyes. The sky above had darkened. It was red and filled with quickly growing, black clouds. As I turned my gaze downwards, I felt a stab of pain to my head. Blood. So much of it.

Avi and Emilia lay in a pool of crimson, the white of their eyes showing. Their heads hung limply from their necks, and their chests were still and lifeless. I heard a loud pounding. It grew in tempo with each passing moment. I realised it was my heartbeat. I couldn’t control it. I gasped for air. My vision was blurring. The two girls began to merge into one.

I looked down at my shaking hands, and discovered that they had become bony, covered in a layer of dark fur, and sporting sharp, yellowed nails. From the tips, red liquid ran down my fingers. I turned my hands over a few times. Yes, it was definitely blood. Had I done this? When I looked again, I was cradling the corpse. I killed her.

No, how could I have? But I did. I killed her.

Shards of memory passed by my eyes, like fragments of glass flying from the impact of a stone with a mirror. As they spun through the air, I caught a glimpse of the past. Monsters surrounding me. Emilia at my side. I killed her.

I was lashing out. Blood was flying. I killed her.

They fell before me, but so did she. I killed her.

I killed her, I killed her, I killed her… The words kept repeating themselves as they swirled around me. Everything had turned to red. A blur of death and pain that consumed my vision. I screamed but I heard no sound. My head felt ready to burst. I could feel the nails of my wolfish hands digging into my skull and I tried to block out the agony, but it made not difference. Finally, cracks appeared in the haze of crimson, before spreading to my body as I shattered.

“Sander!”

***

I bolted upright so fast I gave myself whiplash. I was breathing heavily. From one side, the light of morning was pouring in through the thin curtains which concealed the bedroom window. I kept softly muttering the words, over and over, until she placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

I turned to her. Scarlett’s expression was one of deep concern. I turned away and brushed aside her hand.

“You look tired,” I said.

She frowned. “I have a raging headache, if you must know.”

Normally I might have made some remark about how poorly she handled such a small amount of drink, but my head was pounding. I could barely think.

“Here,” she said, placing a cold glass of water between my hands.

I nodded and brought it up to my lips. I gulped down a small bit and then set it aside. Immediately I regretted it. I flew from beneath my covers and rushed to the bathroom, where I threw up what little dinner I’d had the night before into the toilet. I could smell the blood. On my hands. On my face. It felt like it had run all the way up my nose and into my brain.

No, that wasn’t right, I thought, holding my head in my hands. It had started in my brain. It was all in my head. There was no blood. No Emilia – she’d died five years ago. It was an illusion. A cruel trick. A prank. There was no Avi either, gods knew where she was or if she was still alive.

When I got shakily back to my feet, I groaned and flushed the toilet. I rinsed my face in the basin, then dried it with the hand towel. When I turned to leave the bathroom, Scarlett was leaning against the doorway, watching me with solicitude.

“I’m fine,” I said.

“No, you’re not. You look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

She rolled her eyes. “You can stay up here and sleep longer if you –”

“No.” I made my way to where I’d left a fresh pair of clothes and began stripping.

Scarlett averted her eyes with an irritated ‘hmph’. “You don’t look tough, you know.”

I dressed quickly and pulled on my coat. “What’s that?”

“Never mind.”

“I need a smoke.” I opened the bedroom window and took out my pipe. As I leaned out into the open air, my pipe in hand, I realised something. “Say, how did you get in here?”

“You didn’t lock the door.”

As I sucked in a puff, I tried to recall the previous night. I guess I hadn’t.

“Well, if you’re going to come done, we’d best get going. We told Basil we’d meet him in an hour from now.”

I nodded and replaced my pipe in my pocket. It had helped; a little – I wasn’t so shaky now. Just then I noticed that the Lunar Knight had tied up her hair in a ponytail. Normally she left it down.

“That looks good,” I said, as I stepped out of my room and into the hallway.

“Oh,” she said, averting her eyes. “Thanks.”

I thought I caught the glimpse of a smile as I locked the door behind me.