Coffee and a hot shower did its magic. A couple of hours later, I was dressed in my favorite pair of jeans and a tight white shirt that, as my friend Lydia had once said, showed off all the assets.

The girl who looked back at me in the mirror was cute and looked ready for a date with her fiancé. She didn’t show any of the roiling guilt inside.

I never thought I would be the type of girl who would play with the hearts of two boys. I felt like there was an invisible layer of slime coating my skin.

This had to stop, and I knew the decision I had to make. Worse, I knew that Shane would want me to do the same thing. He’d told me that first day: Of course I want to live. Doesn’t everyone?

There had been no news on Dad’s plan to get us into a SAFEsite. Connor was the only other option.

I nodded to myself in the mirror. I had to give Connor a real chance. Today, I would start fresh.

Life was going to be hard enough once Betty hit.

How was I going to be able to live my life tucked away in a SAFEsite all the while knowing people like Shane were dying?

That was a question I couldn’t answer right now—one that required a lot of soul searching. Today, I had to get through a date with my husband-to-be.

Spoiler alert: My dad didn’t come home again last night. Asher made some noises about catching waves later on, but judging from the shadows under his eyes he hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep last night, either. Up too late playing video games, or just stress. Either way, he wasn’t in a good mood and so I elected to wait for Connor outside rather than suffer through his snark.

I expected Connor to come walking down the block from the direction of his house. Instead, he drove up in a brand new car.

I didn’t know a lot about cars. Whatever this one was, it was low to the ground and sporty. I was so taken aback that I stepped back from the curb, only realizing it was Connor when he rolled down the tinted windows.

“Hey, Astrid.”

“Connor?” I took a tentative step forward. “You can drive? This is your car?”

“It is now. My dad just got it for me.” He reached across and opened up the door.

“Wow.” I slid inside. The leather seats were as soft as butter. Then a thought hit me and I looked at him, eyes wide. “Is it your birthday?”

I couldn’t for the life of me remember what time of the year it was, much less the actual date. Yet another checkmark on being a bad wife-to-be.

“No.” He shook his head. “I think my dad feels like spoiling me while it can before…you know, everything goes down.”

Made sense. I looked at him suspiciously. “There’s no way you have your license. The DMV's been closed for months.”

“No, but I can drive,” he answered with a cheeky grin. Then, before I could object, he stepped on the gas.

I laughed, but quickly put on my seatbelt.

* * *

Connor’s sporty car had some muscle under the hood and he wasn’t afraid to use it.

We were soon out of town and roaring along twisty, treacherous Highway 1, which hugged the Pacific Coast. Nearly every turn was a sharp curve where the edge of the road ended and the cliff dropped off hundreds of feet into the churning sea.

I caught my breath as it seemed the tire on my side of the car rode the white line. An inch from death.

“Connor…Connor, would you slow down?”

He glanced at me. “Sorry. I always wanted to open her up.”

Thankfully, he slowed. Not much, but enough to make me let go of the handle above the door.

He never mentioned where we were going, and I was figuring out what I would say if he, like, tried to park at a make-out spot. Would he withdraw the ticket to the SAFEsite if I told him no?

I should have thought better of him. Within a few more miles he flipped on the turn signal and pulled to the side where someone had set up an honest-to-God ice cream stand on a wide turnout. It was little more than a wooden shack with a scattering of plastic tables and chairs for guests to sit and eat at.

“I don’t remember this being here before,” I said cautiously.

He grinned as he set the car in park and turned off the engine. “I found this guy on Instagram. He sets up these pop-up sites all over the city and moves them every few days to keep ahead of inspectors.”

Call me old-fashioned, but I liked my restaurants to be inspected by the health department. Still, ice cream seemed safe enough.

“Sounds great!” I chirped, feeling like an ass. Of course Connor wouldn’t take me to a cheesy make-out spot, he put a lot of thought and care into his date.

I need to give him a real chance.

We both got double scoop cones. I don’t know how the business owner did it, but he kept his stuff at the pre-Betty prices. The flavors were the classic three—chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Home churned, I bet. I got strawberry and sighed at the taste. Creamy and delicious. It had been too long since I’d last had ice cream.

“Good?” Connor asked. He’d picked chocolate.

“So good.” Ignoring the table and chairs, I swung my legs over and sat on the edge of the guardrail which separated the cliff from the sea. Connor joined me.

“How was your trip back east?” I asked. “Are they freaking out as much there as in the cities here?” The authorities had finally squashed the San Francisco riots, but unchecked fires were spreading in parts of LA. Naturally, not where the celebrities lived.

Connor wiggled his head back and forth in a so-so gesture. “In the bigger cities, yeah, but I spent most of my time helping to set up the SAFEsites.”

“Oh?” My cone had chunks of frozen strawberries inside. I spent a second digging one out, then asked. “What are they like?”

“Kind of like a military base. Dad takes care of the engineering specs, but my job is to load the media in the library—we have to keep people entertained for a five year minimum, so we’re downloading as much as we can into the libraries.”

“Five years? I thought the long winter would be over in two.”

He glanced uneasily at me. Why did I just get the feeling I stumbled over something I shouldn’t have? “It’s still going to take awhile for the planet to recover, afterward. With water reclamation and the resources we’ll have on hand…we’re not going to want to leave the site for some time.”

A minimum of five years underground. I would have just turned eighteen when Betty hits, making me twenty-two by the time I got outside again. They would probably want me to have a kid or two by then.

Would I be allowed to tell them no? I didn’t think it was right to bring life into this world if they had to spend their childhood in a bunker.

I opened my mouth to ask, but then shut it. Bringing up kids was also, naturally, bringing up sex, and I just didn’t want to talk about that with Connor right now. That conversation could happen later.

Besides, a part of me wasn’t ready to find out if I didn’t have a choice.

So I asked another question which had been bugging me off and on. “You’re going to be the tech guy, then?”

“That’s right. I'll be in IT. If things go right, we'll even have a basic intranet within the SAFEsites, kind of like the old Usenet forums.”

Whatever those were. “So what will I do?”

A long pause. “What do you mean?”

“I’m going to have a job, too. And Asher.” Naturally, Dad would be doing some military work. Maybe they’d give him a desk job so he could stay in one place. “I was going to try out to be a lifeguard next summer, but that’s out now.” I paused. “I could help you with the computer stuff? I can type pretty fast.”

He smiled. “You’ll need to know a little more than how to type.” Then, before I could take offense he said, “There’s going to be plenty of work available. Whatever you choose, I’ll back you up.”

“Really?”

He smiled. “Really, really.”

I felt the muscles in my shoulders relax. I had never looked forward to having a job, but it would be good to have a purpose when I was down there. Something to keep me focused and my mind off what was happening outside.

“So how have the last few weeks been for you?” Connor asked.

I spent them hanging out with another boy, and I’ll probably be a terrible wife and I'm terrified I will resent you even though you don’t deserve it.

“Fine,” I said. “I mean, there was a bombing scare at my school, but no one took it seriously. I think someone didn’t want to go to class.”

He frowned. “There’s been a lot more of that happening.”

“Bombings?” I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to the news, but didn’t remember hearing that. Just the riots and fires.

How did those fires get started? I suddenly wondered.

Connor flicked a glance at me. “Yeah. Part of my job is to install web filters. The media’s on total lockdown right now. No one wants to let the public know how badly things are falling apart.

I stared at him for a second, wondering if he was joking. The corners of his mouth were turned down. He was serious…and upset.

Why was I surprised? Shops were boarded up and food shortages at grocery stores were becoming commonplace. But not, like, for the important stuff. People were still shopping, even if they had to go to multiple stores to grab everything on their lists. Even this ice-cream guy was doing brisk business. A few cars had pulled up while Connor and I sat there.

“The world still looks so normal,” I said.

“That’s the idea. It’ll keep looking normal, too, probably right up until Betty hits—and she’s going to hit, Astrid.”

The way he said it made me shiver. “But what about all the smart missiles and nukes and things that NASA and the EU Space Programs are sending up?” The media had been light on how the world was falling apart—and now I knew why—but coverage had been heavy on what was being called humanity’s last defense. Asher had openly scoffed. I tried not to think much about it. My hopes had been crushed by the lottery, and I wasn’t sure if I could handle it again.

Connor shook his head and pressed his lips together. “Don’t count on that.”

“But why?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“What?” I said sharply. “Why? What do you know?”

He looked away briefly, seemed to consider, but then shook his head again. “I can’t tell you yet, but I will.”

Ugh, was this what it was like for Shane when I kept secrets from him? “But—”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” I said, not because I did, but because that was the sort of thing you were supposed to say at a time like this.

Plus, he’s going to be my husband, or whatever.

“Then trust me on this. There are details I can’t tell you about the SAFEsite yet. They probably won’t allow me to tell you until we’re sealed in. But, well, let’s just say I wouldn’t put money on the missile defense programs saving us.”

He paused. “I’m sorry.”

They wouldn’t allow him? Ominous.

“You will tell me when you can, right?” I asked, needing to be sure.

“Yes,” he said immediately and reached to take my hand in his own. “Yes, of course I will. It’s killing me to keep things from you now.”

Whatever exasperation I might have felt evaporated away. After all, I wasn’t being one-hundred percent honest with him. Plus, I knew with not a shred of doubt in my mind that whatever secrets Connor was holding wasn’t the type that would put me, my father, or Asher in danger.

I guess I did trust him after all.

“Then that’s okay,” I said, squeezing his hand.