Kevin POV:

The dungeon city of Heizer, an absolutely chaotic city. I needed to get the fuck out of here! This whole expedition was a horrible mistake.

“Watch where ya walkin, brat!” I glanced up towards the towering woman, covered in a shit ton of weapons.

You have resisted the ‘Intimidated’ status effect.

“Sorry.” I firmly grasped the top of my explorer’s hat as I took off at top speed; that mother fucker was huge and I wasn’t looking to scrap. Thank god I had the foresight to bring it with me. I didn’t want any of these assholes knowing what I looked like.

How long have I been aimlessly running around? No, scratch that. When did I even end up in this shithole? This place was dirty. This place was disgusting. With broken puddled pavements and diseased hobos lazing around as far as the eye can see.

You just had to take the turn, didn’t you Kevin. You just had to stay in character and explore the wonders of Heizer. ‘Secret magical library could be hidden in a shady corner. Jon Brovado would always check shady corners. Jon Brovado smart. Jon Brovado attentive.’ Fuck Jon Brovado. From this point onwards, that character was dead to me!

All I had to do now was find the alleyway that brought me to this dump and never return. Please be this alley. Please be this alley. It wasn’t the alley. Another dead-end.

*sniff sniff

Another dead-end that reeked like rotting eggs. Why the fuck did it smell like rotting eggs?!

“Well, Well, Well.” A crackling voice bellowed from behind, somehow echoing in this creepy and narrow alleyway. “Look it what we got ‘ere boys,”

You have resisted the ‘Startled’ status effect.

Oh, you have got to be kidding me! “A lost little fishy that swam too far from home.” I walked into a dead end and it just so happens that I… you know what, fuck it. I was not in the mood for this.

“I know you’re out there!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, arms crossed. “Come out and take me home already!” The fact that I had to ask for their help was humiliating.

…

Any second now.

…

Still waiting.

…

“Ya think he a loony? Cause I ain’t that big on dealing with crazy.”

“Relax Tammy boy, we’re awakened now. Pipsqueaks like him ain't nothing to us.”

“Yeah, nothing to us!”

Did James just let his precious baby brother go outside without providing any secret escort? That heartless fucking bastard!

I reluctantly turned to greet my would-be aggressors, tilting down my hat so that they couldn’t see my face. I wasn't impressed. A skinny rat boy, a chubby human boy, and a midget that were all wearing the same dirty and worn rags as any dirty hobo that lazed around these parts. These morons actually thought that they could mug me?

Kevin Kenworth: Level 1 Titles: Grand Duelist Class: Skills: Battle Prowess S, Language Comprehension S, Tactical Expertise S, Tenacious S, Fast Learner A, Jumping A, Rolling A, Running A, Walking A, Acting B, Aura of the World Ender F.

Bitch please, my spec was too fucking good.

“All right kiddo, listen ‘ere.” Chubby approached, his tits jiggling with each step he took. The rat and the midget soon followed after him. “All ya have to do is give us what we want, and nobody has to get hurt.”

“Or, I could give you this one chance to turn and walk away. I am not someone you should be messing with.” Might as well give them a warning; this whole thing would be a waste of time.

“Well, would ya look at that Tammy.” He stopped and turned his gaze towards the rat beside him. “The kid's got more guts than a guy twice his size. Ain’t he adorable?” You’re damn right I’m adorable.

“Yeah, he’s very adorable.” So, the midget was the parrot? Kinda stereotypical if you asked me but ok, it is what it is.

“All right kiddo, listen ‘ere.” Chubby spoke once more, cracking his fingers individually to make himself seem intimidating. “Ya got spunk and I like that, so don’t make me hurt ya. Give me ya clothes and I’ll be nice enough to let ya keep ya hat.” grinning from ear to ear as he knelt to take a peek at my face. “Whatcha think, fair deal?”

“A very fair deal, Andy.” The midget wasn’t a parrot after all. Perhaps more of a yes man?

I tilted down the hat to make sure he didn’t catch a glimpse of anything only to shove it back because I couldn’t see shit. “Or maybe you could turn and walk away, and then I pretend that this never happened.” Pause for some dramatic effect. Grin from ear to ear. “Fair deal?” Perfect.

The effect was immediate, chubby’s grin was replaced by an unintimidating scowl. The jiggling tits had damaged any chance he had at being taken seriously. “So, I guess ya won’t be keeping the hat after all.”

“Big mistake kiddo, now you is gonna get hurt.” The midget was definitely not a yes man. Perhaps a hype man? A hype man sounded awesome. I needed to get one.

Chubby made a mad dash towards me, his speed taking me completely by surprise. Didn’t they say that they were awakened? That meant that they were at least older than twelve. So, why the hell was he so fucking slow?

I walked up for closer inspection only to realize that he wasn’t slow, chubby was actually motionless. The hype man was motionless. The bird that flew in the sky was motionless. I turned to look into the alley to find myself standing there motionlessly. So this was some Dr. Strange astral projection mumbo jumbo.

Tactical Expertise S: Everything has a weakness, one that only the grand duelist can exploit.

The wording could have been better. There was also a white ring highlighted on the floor just a few inches away from my feet, and something was urging me to step on it. My trusty ‘Tenacious S’ wasn’t resisting it so that could only mean it was something good.

Right sidestep. Elbow jab. Left foot strike. Turn.

So, I put my right foot on the small white ring here before turning my body. Chubby began to move the moment I completed the action. Another small ring appeared, and this one was right on his rib cage. I threw a punch towards it but before it could land, I found myself back to where I started.

Right sidestep. Elbow jab. Left foot strike. Turn.

A mini-game. This was fun. I put my right foot on the small white ring before turning my body. I threw an elbow jab at the ring that appeared at his rib cage, an easy feat for someone of my height. A new ring appeared at his shin, the one I was supposed to kick with my left foot. Before my kick could land, I found myself back at square one.

Right sidestep. Elbow jab. Left foot strike. Turn.

So good old standard kicking didn’t work. Good to know. I can only kick with my left foot and it can’t be a front kick. Let’s try kicking backwards then. I stepped on the ring. Threw an elbow jab at his ribs. I tried to do a backward kick but lost balance along the way. Before my face could kiss the floor, I found myself at the start.

Right sidestep. Elbow jab. Left foot strike. Turn.

I stepped on the ring. Threw an elbow jab at his rib cage. Raised my left leg while maintaining my balance with the right as I threw a backward kick at his shin. A new ring appeared on the floor next to his foot where I gently placed mine. I made my turn and found myself at the start.

“Aaaaah!” Chubby, after finally regaining his motion, screamed as he dashed himself forward. I was right about his speed because the boy was still slow.

Right sidestep. Elbow jab. Left foot strike. Turn.

And because of his mad dash, the boy got to make out with the pavement as he slid in a cartoonish manner. Now it was time for the rat and the hype man. Wait, where was that rat?

“B-b-bla-b-b-b-b-b-black!” The hell was wrong with him? What the hell was he pointing at? I raised a hand to… where was my hat?

I looked around desperately for it. It didn’t fall anywhere near me. I turned to chubby, he held it in his hand as he stared at me with wide-open eyes.

“Pwahahahahahahaha!” He started cackling like a mad man as he stood up, something his hype man didn’t seem too keen on doing. “Ma told me stories of idiots dumb enough to do it, never expected to meet one ‘ere. No wonder ya were wearing such a stupid hat. Pwahahahahahahaha!”

“Give me my hat back right now!”

“Andy, what if it’s real? Don’t be stupid and give him the hat!” Oh shit, I had the hype man now. Sweet.

“Relax Kandy boy, I have everything under control.” He raised a thumb to encourage his hype man. He was about to do something stupid.

“Just give me my hat back and I’ll walk away.” Use your brain you oaf, I was the five-year-old that just whooped your ass.

“Or maybe I could just kick ya ass, send ya to an officer, and get rewarded handsomely.” He paused for dramatic effect. Grinned from ear to ear. “Fair deal?” He then threw my hat into a nearby filthy and muddy puddle.

I activated my aura instantly, covering them both with just a tiny bit of it. I was gonna make chubby and his hype man suffer.

“Eeeeyaaaaarrgh!” They both screeched at the top of their lungs as they fell on their asses, desperately trying to crawl away. They wet themselves before falling into an unconscious state while foam came out of their mouths. What the fuck just happened?!

Aura of the World Ender F: Create an aura that drowns the target’s senses with an insignificant amount of malicious intent, far more potent if the user harbors it. *Warning* User may develop omnicidal tendencies.

Insignificant my ass! Note to self, never use this skill on the servants. Scratch that. Never use this skill freely on anyone.

I better take my leave now, didn’t want anyone to know that I was responsible for this. I grabbed my hat, too filthy for me to wear. Guess I had to find my way home without wearing it. Just don’t make trouble with someone you can’t fuck with Kevin, simple.

On my way out of the alley, I noticed a pouch that was tied around the hype man’s waist. The poor kid had already suffered enough by my hands, it was just wrong for me to steal from him.

*grrrrrrr

But he did try to mug me though, so it was only fair I took his coins as reparation. Thank you for the valuable donation. I promise to make good use of it. Enjoy your afternoon nap!