《Mermaids And The Vampires Who Love Them》22. SELF-PITY IS A LIFESTYLE
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"Someone's here!" says the oily-voiced man.
"What the ...?" Sharkweather burbles.
I don't hear the rest because Pierce and I are flying across the room in a blur. I guess he's hopped-up on mermaid blood, and it's making him even faster than usual. Hopefully, even if they see us, they won't know who or what we are.
Everything is going great until we get to the exit, and I realize that my hair has been sparking. I couldn't see it when we were invisible, but now it will give us away. Shelly is blocking the door, but Pierce doesn't slow down. At the last second, Shelly leaps out of the way, and we blast past her, but I know she saw my hair go off. She will totally know I was there.
Pierce flies us up the stairs and out onto the deck. In seconds, we're in the sky flying away from the yacht over the dark water. My pulse throbs in my neck, and my hair is sparking dark purple, red, and gold. I've never even seen this combination! Now that we're off the yacht and out of danger, my rage with Pierce escalates. I really can't be with Pierce right now. He was hired to watch me? This whole thing has been a job for him? I am beyond hurt. A giant lump forms in my throat, and I can barely speak. Finally, I manage to say, "Pierce. Let go of me!"
"Never."
"I don't care if my dad gets mad at you for abandoning your post. I was nothing but a job for you this entire time?"
"Waverly, it's not like that."
"So, you aren't working for my dad?"
He looks so guilty. The truth is there on his face. He was pretending to like me this whole time. I hold back a sob. I will not give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. "Let me go!"
"No!"
"I warned you!" I shove him. It takes more strength than hurtling great whites, but I am pretty strong, so after a few tries, I push him into the mist while I throw myself into the ocean. Thank Poseidon, I wore a flouncy skirt tonight because my legs transform into a tail in mere seconds, though my underwear is shredded and my shoes float to the surface. The smart mermaid always wears skirts or dresses whenever she is going near the ocean. I cannot tell you how good it feels to be back in the water. Even though it seems that the toxins don't affect me, I have been avoiding the bay. But now, I can feel how much my body yearned to be here. The only problem is, I'm crying magical mermaid tears, and I cannot stop. I look down and see a palm tree sprouting from the bottom of the bay.
Why didn't Pierce tell me that my dad hired him? I really thought he loved me. And this entire time ... I try to choke back a sob. This entire time he was being paid to be with me! And I kissed him! I gave him my blood!
I cry even harder and start to hiccup. A shiver of great white sharks swims toward me. "Get away!" I telepathically say to them in Mermish. Poseidon's nails, I wish I had paid better attention in my Conversational Shark class at Pacifica. At the time, I thought I'd have no use for the language.
They swim faster, their great maws open, showing rows of pointy teeth with pink remnants of previous meals.
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"Please, you guys! You really don't want to come near me when I'm crying."
But it's too late. One by one, each shark transforms into a seagull. Now I have to freaking rescue six seagulls! I'm really not in any state to rescue anyone else when I can't even rescue myself, but the newly made seagulls are pathetic, flapping their wings and trying to figure out how to breathe underwater. Ugh! I grab them, one at a time—yes, while being scratched and bloodied by the claws at the ends of their flailing webbed feet—and throw them up out of the water and into the sky. Once all six of them are safely airborne, and my arms and face are bleeding, I jet into turboswim. I have to get out of the water before I mess up the entire ecosystem.
The first thing I have to do when I get back to campus is take the blame for Iridessa's missing wand. No way can I allow Lily-Bella to be punished, even if this gets me kicked out of the school. Then I have to grill my dad about why in Hades he hired a bodyguard to protect me? I am not a helpless fingerling! And why a vampire? I think my dad has totally lost it. It's like asking a shark to babysit a sea lion. The good news is now I am so mad, I have stopped crying. The oceans are once again safe from Waverly Fishwater.
The water is so cold; it's practically arctic. As I near the shore, I slow down. Believe me, it is not a pleasant sensation to hit land in turboswim. I swim past a kelp garden, the fronds swaying like wraiths in the undercurrent. A shiver of spotted baby nurse sharks approaches. They take one look at me, turn tail, and speed away. At least there are some intelligent sharks in the bay.
I propel myself onto the beach and wait for my legs to form. After they've sprouted, I lie on the cool, wet sand, catching my breath, listening to the moaning ocean and the cries of owls and the howls of coyotes off in the distance. The sky is still thick with clouds, and I can smell the smoke from the earlier conflagration in the fairy meadow. There is a flapping of wings. It's the seagulls. They've followed me. I stand and try to shoo them away, but they aren't listening. And I speak absolutely no Seagull. It's one of those language courses only taken by kids who want to do really well on the MAT's (Merfolk Aptitude Test).
I should probably go back to the cabin and clean up the sticky sand and blood before turning myself in, but I'm in no mood to act rationally. I tug my skirt so it covers as much of my thighs as it can and stomp along the beach barefoot, my feet sinking into the thick, gurgly sand. It's windy, and because I'm soaked, I'm positively freezing.
I walk up the path toward campus; my legs and feet are now also bleeding from stepping on jagged rocks and scratching against blackberry vines. Two of the seagulls are still following me. I'm going to ignore them.
"What's happened to you, mermaid?"
Oh joy, it's Cupid. Thankfully, he's sitting on a tree branch in his toga and bow tie right side up. He takes three huge bites out of an apple and throws the core into the ferns at the bottom of the tree. Litterer!
"Don't mess with me, Love God." I fold my arms over my chest, trying to get some warmth.
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The seagull pair flies over Cupid, flapping their wings above his golden curls. "New friends?" He bats them away, then jumps from the branch onto the path in front of me. "You look awful. Have you been playing with sharks again?" he says, grinning. "Your battle with the great whites on the first day of school is legendary."
"Great white deathmatches are a specialty of mine." If he only knew how many sharks I've had to deal with tonight! "Look, Cupid, I have to talk to Iridessa right away, so can we pick up this conversation later?"
The seagulls are cawing like crazy. "I warned you to stay away from me," I telepathically say in Mermish. Of course, this does no good. Hardly any birds speak the language of the ocean-dwellers.
"Wait, Waverly, you really do look terrible. Are you okay?" He puts his hands on my shoulders, and a ripple of warmth and peace flows through my body.
"Surprisingly, I am fine," I say. "Thanks for whatever that calming thing is that you just did to me."
"You looked like you needed it. And you're bleeding. Did Pierce do this?" Cupid frowns, and his bow and arrow appear out of thin air.
"Sort of. I mean, not the bleeding part."
"I would rip him limb from limb if he were still here. The lout!"
"Much as I appreciate the offer, Cupid, I think I'll be the one ripping off his limbs. Wait, did you say 'if he were still here'?"
"You don't know?"
"No. I've been out, uh, swimming for a while." How much time has passed? "Where is Pierce?"
"He got thrown out of school."
"What! Why?"
"He admitted that he stole Iridessa's wand, and boy was she mad. She insisted that Headmaster Crumpet expel him, or else she was going to quit. It nearly re-killed Crumpet to do it, though. Pierce is like a son to him."
"But Pierce didn't steal the wand. Um ... I did." Cupid raises his eyebrows. "I did," I say more confidently.
"Right, Wave."
I ignore his sarcasm. "Shut up!" I yell at the seagulls. Cupid glares at them, and they hop onto a branch and quiet down.
Oh, no. I realize Pierce did this to protect me. He knew I would take the blame to shield Lily-Bella. That double-crossing vampire was probably reading my mind while I was swimming back to school! He is still trying to be my bodyguard, even after I essentially fired him. Maybe he thinks I'll forgive him because of this, but no way!
"Look, Waverly, I wouldn't go to Iridessa right now and take the blame. Think about it. What if this is part of a bigger plan that Pierce has? I don't know what, but I think you should keep quiet for now. Don't let Pierce's sacrifice be in vain."
"Alright, but not for long. I won't let Pierce take the blame for something he didn't do, even if he is a lying, evil denizen of the night. I will get him un-expelled, and then I will ..."
"What?"
"I'm thinking. Okay, I can't think of a good punishment right now because of your 'let's all be calm and happy' influence. I must ask Thunder for suggestions. He's good at this sort of thing."
"I'm sure he is, Waverly."
"I gotta go talk to my dad, then."
"Maybe I should take you to see Chiron first. You look pretty beat up."
"I'm okay. Mermaids heal super fast."
"If you say so. See you back at the cabin."
"Cupid?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"Any time, Wave." He winks at me and shoots an arrow into the tree. I hear a screech, and seagull feathers float through the air. "Love hurts," he says.
"Oh, no, Cupid. You didn't harm them?"
"Take a look."
I do. Ugh! They are definitely not hurt, and I don't have to tell you what they're doing!
My Dad's is the furthest of the teacher cabins. It is smaller than mine, but he has it all to himself. I don't bother knocking.
"Dad?" I burst inside, nearly breaking the door off its hinges. I guess Cupid's little calming effect has already worn off. "How could you ...?" I slam the door, and the cabin shakes.
"Waverly," my dad stands up from the couch, a look of concern pasted on his face. I can't even imagine how scary I must look, wet, sandy, bleeding.
Oh, no. My dad isn't alone. Headmaster Crumpet is here too, still in his tuxedo. He rises and turns to face me.
"Headmaster?" I say.
"Hello, Waverly. Thank you for stopping in."
There is no merry fire crackling in the fireplace, and the room smells like fresh pine. My teeth chatter. "Uh, sorry, Dad, didn't know you were busy. I'll, um, come back later." I turn to leave.
"Waverly Marie Fishwater. Come here right now, and sit. We have to talk."
I plop down on the plaid sofa identical to the one in my cabin, cover my legs with the plaid wool blanket, and fix my face with a stubborn, 'oh brother' expression. To that, I add a bit of an eye roll and an impatient sigh, then wrap my arms against my chest in the universal gesture of 'leave me alone.' Really, that's all I got.
"I understand you have disobeyed not only me but also the headmaster. Is this correct?"
"Dad, you already know the truth. Why don't you just tell me the bottom line? I'm tired, and I'm bleeding all over school property." Why do parents do this? They know what you've done. You know what you've done. And they make you go over the whole thing as if that is going to change the facts.
"I am very disappointed in you, Waverly."
I can't help it. I don't mean to look into his eyes, but I do, and he is so distressed I actually feel like a horrible mermaid. "Dad, I'm sorry, I thought ..."
Headmaster Crumpet sits there like a stone. I have no clue what he's thinking.
"Waverly, that is the problem. You didn't think. I expressly told you that there were bigger things at play here—dangerous things. And still you put your life in peril, broke school rules, and now Pierce has been expelled. All because of your inability to think things through." Now I feel even worse. Pierce was expelled because of me. Sure, I'm furious with him, but he didn't want to go to the yacht tonight. I was too stubborn to listen.
"Dad, I screwed up; I know I did. I'm really sorry. I was only trying to help." I want to tell my dad what I learned: that Crumpet has been taking money from Sharkweather for the school, that Sharkweather has been dumping toxins in the bay, and that there is someone else involved. Someone who wants more merfolk enrolled in the school, though I don't know why. But I don't think we should have this discussion in front of Crumpet. Even if we tele-speak, Crumpet will know something's up. I'll talk to Dad tomorrow if we're still speaking.
Dad exhales loudly and looks at the headmaster. Crumpet gives a tiny nod.
"I'm afraid you are on probation, Waverly. One more infraction and you will have to leave. I hope you understand how this makes me look as an employee of this school?"
"I do, Dad, and I am sorry. But please tell me why you hired Pierce to be my bodyguard? Why did you think I needed protection? I mean, if this school is so dangerous, why would you even bring Mom and me here?"
"Those are all valid questions, Waverly, but I cannot answer them right now; I have more business to discuss with Headmaster Crumpet. Please know that I did what I thought was best for my family. I love you, Waverly. And I knew Pierce to be an honorable and powerful vampire who would take good care of my precious daughter."
"Yes, Waverly," says Headmaster Crumpet. "Only one vampire of Pierce's abilities is made each century. He is modest and does not admit this freely. He will be greatly missed at the school."
This makes me curious, and I want to find out more, but I don't think it's the best time for the headmaster to wax poetic about how fantastic Pierce is. Crumpet already looks like he's been stung in the face by a jellyfish. "Where has he gone?" is all I ask.
"I am not at liberty to say, Waverly," says the headmaster. "I am sorry."
Someone knocks tentatively on the door. Who could it be?
"Come in, Pickles," says my dad.
Pickles shuffles inside and quietly closes the door.
"Hello, Headmaster Crumpet, Mr. Fishwater, Wave." Pickles sneezes, and fairy dust flies through the room. She conjures a handkerchief. There are dark circles around Pickles' eyes, and her red hair looks like a bird has been nesting in it. In fact, a tiny bird peeks through the nest and chirps. "Quiet, Jay."
"Pickles, are you okay?" I say.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"But, you look terrible, and you have a bird in your hair."
"I know. I rescued him. He fell out of a tree. Meet Jay. He's a junco."
"You named a junco, Jay?"
"Sure, why not?"
I shake my head.
"Thank you for coming, Pickles," says Headmaster Crumpet.
"Is anyone going to tell me what is going on?"
Dad pats my back. "Of course, Waverly. Say hello to Pickles, your new bodyguard."
Pickles looks at me, shrugs her shoulders, and sneezes into her handkerchief. Jay is ejected from his nest and lands on the sofa. He hops onto my shoulder. He is pretty cute—brown and pudgy.
"Bodyguard?"
"You didn't think we'd leave you unsupervised after what happened tonight," my dad says.
I get it. He's telling me I can't be trusted. "But Dad ..."
"She is your fairy godmother, therefore, she is a suitable candidate. And remember, Waverly, if you disobey the rules again, not only will you be expelled, so will she. Now get back to your cabin and clean up, honey." He kisses my head and telepathically says, "We'll talk later." He practically pushes us out and closes the door.
I linger for a moment on the wooden deck to eavesdrop. "Are you sure Pierce knows what he's doing?" my dad asks.
I strain to hear Crumpet's response, but he's too quiet.
"Come on, Wave." Pickles pulls me away. I want to stay, but now that Pickles is my jailer, I mean best friend, I don't want her to think I'm going to make trouble and get her thrown out of school.
We walk down the path toward our cabin. Jay hasn't moved off of my shoulder. I'm still wet, and the wind is making me shiver. My teeth are chattering, and all I want is to take a steaming shower and climb into bed.
Pickles puts her arm around me. "I'm sorry about Pierce and everything." She sneezes, startling Jay. He flies back into her hair and settles in. Pickles is the kindest person I know. I put my arm around her, too tired to even ask her how she knows about Pierce.
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