For a while Father didn’t say anything, just stared at the scotch in his hand. Then after I had already given up on an answer he said: “You must really hate me…” That caught me by surprise, to say the least. He smiled at me, wistfulness and faraway memories shining in his eyes. “When you were born… I absolutely adored you, out of all your siblings, because you looked so much like your mother. Lowell got her hair too but you have her face and as I quickly came to realize even her attitude.” He chuckled, looking at something I couldn’t see. “Your curiosity, the eagerness to explore, to learn, your passion, and expressiveness… I loved that so much. She was exactly like that.”

“Aren’t all children like that?” I forced out, feeling so out of place with Father speaking like this.

“Trystan and Akira sure weren’t… They were always more reserved, striving for cold perfection without your fiery passion. And Lowell, he was always shy, sticking to the back row.” His face contorted with pure pain. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him make such a face. He looked like a stranger.

“Maybe if she hadn’t died our family wouldn’t be such a mess… I know my actions can’t be forgiven, but after she died, I was broken. She was my mate for decades and suddenly she was gone. And here you were, reminding me of her with every step, in the end, I might’ve been happy for that fact… If you didn’t turn out to be the only one to inherit the power of the Cŵn Annwn.” He shook his head. “You are really unlucky Reid. You somehow managed to only inherit my bad traits… The Cŵn Annwn, my stubbornness and my dominance. I’m sorry.” He actually looked kind of guilty as he raised his head to look at me.

“I like the eyes… They’re cool,” I said, feeling too lost for anything more profound.

It made him laugh. It didn’t last long though. “I’m ashamed to say that after seeing the Cŵn Annwn I began hating you. Those few years after her death, after your abilities first manifested I thought that maybe I would even be able to kill you.” Now that was something you never wanted to hear from your parent… Well, it wasn’t like I didn’t know he hated me. So why the hell did it hurt so much to hear it?

“It took me a long time to realize it was myself I hated… Those traits in you that suddenly made you look more like me than her. I hated that. But by the time I realized it, we had already grown apart too much. Everything I said and did only made you angrier or sadder.” He sighed and rubbed his nape. “I’m not good at… this. I didn’t know how to… make the gap between us close. In the end, the only time you were happy was when you were away from me or with Bran.”

“Well… I didn’t make it any easier on you,” I admitted, looking down at my shoes. “I was constantly just causing trouble.” Still, it would’ve been nice if he just tried to show me some love, however clumsy… I wasn’t bitter though. Bran did a good job at playing dad. I would never tell that to Father though.

“And then came the fateful day, when Diego came running into my office with Hiro right behind him, telling me all these things about you…” He downed the rest of the scotch, closing his eyes for a second.

“I’m not mad about that,” not anymore at least, “you did what you had to. I was already looked down upon as the troublemaker and now being a deviant? There was no choice but to kick me out, especially after those things I said…”

“Is that so?” he asked the porch roof, his gaze suddenly dark. “Because even after you confirmed these wild rumors I was still ready to let you live in the pack, no matter what they said. You are my son, Reid. I couldn’t care less who you are sleeping with.”

Oh… That wasn’t something I expected to hear, ever. His approval never mattered to me. So why did my eyes burn with unshed tears? He actually reached out and squeezed my shoulder. Fuck. I quickly wiped the tears off and hid behind my whiskey.

“And then you had to go and start growling at everyone… And your eyes… They turned grey with so much hate. I am sorry Reid, you suffered your whole life because I am an idiot. First I took out my anger on you because I hated myself and then I stupidly decided that you would be better off without us. I thought that maybe if I chased you away you could start somewhere else without the hate and judgment from the pack… I thought that maybe you could be happier… So I chased you away. I realized how stupid that was only years after. But as I said, you got my stubbornness from me… I wanted to call you, apologize and beg you to come home, yet I was raised as the Alpha who never apologizes, who never begs. I am sorry my stubbornness cost you so much…”

Gods this was way too emotional for a talk with Father. It felt so unrealistic. “It’s fine…” I said, my voice thick with emotions as well. Christ. “Even if you did call me and begged I probably would’ve been too stubborn to come back.”

That made him chuckle. “Yeah, sounds right.” He sighed. “I am sorry for being such a horrible father. I do love you, you know… I asked Bran and Lowell how you were doing after every call. I know that’s not enough, but it should hopefully answer your question. At that moment I was ready to let you kill me… Even for the sake of the pack I couldn’t bring myself to kill you.”

At his words, my vision went blurry. Fucking hell stop making me cry! God fucking damn it. I wiped away the tears and found him standing in front of me.

“Come on, Reid, let’s get back to the pack… The war might not be over, but today we won a battle and avenged Bran. And you even got a mate.” He smiled. “Let’s celebrate.”

Mate… I swallowed hard. That was a very strong word. Could someone like me actually have a mate? A soulmate to stay by me for the rest of eternity? I wasn’t ready to think about something so permanent and severe yet. I got up and followed him back in. I was surprised to find Matt already there, surrounded by Ivan, Lowell, Scott, and Yuri. Even Holly was fussing around him.

Before I could get to him though, Father beat me to it. Matt jumped a bit as Father rested his hands on his shoulders. I was bewildered to see him smile down at Matt and I obviously wasn’t the only one. The pack went a bit quiet, just the hush of whispers so it sounded very loud when Father said: “Welcome to the family Matt.”

Fuck that just broke my heart. Father nodded at me and left Matt in my hands. “Are you alright?” Matt asked, always so observant and caring.

“Yeah, for once, everything is good…” I kissed the top of his head and then joined the pack in its celebration. In our celebration…