The door opened and I was immediately being hugged by a small boy. Well, actually by a small man. Lowell was only eight when I left, now he was nineteen. He was probably about five foot six and looked quite fragile for a werewolf or maybe he just looked like that to me since I was his big brother. He had black hair like me, his eyes were icy blue, but always filled with warmth, and right now even tears. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he cried into my chest.

“You’re sorry? For what?” I asked confused, trying desperately to keep my own tears at bay. I was a twenty-seven-year-old man, I wasn’t supposed to cry.

“I know how important he was to you…” he whispered quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Lou.” I hugged him tightly. For years I’ve only been able to see him through video chats and photos. Touching him again felt nice. Felt right. I truly missed my little brother.

“Reid…” Another voice, so familiar yet so different. A voice I haven’t heard in a decade. Akira, my older sister. She had light strawberry blond hair, perfectly groomed, and there was full make-up on her face. Still, her hazel eyes looked tired.

“Hello Akira,” I said but didn’t move towards her, still holding Lowell. She crossed her arms over her chest, obviously not planning on giving me a welcome back hug. I didn’t expect her to. I was pretty sure that more than half of the pack wouldn’t be exactly happy to see me again. There was almost tangible tension between me and Akira. The years of separation made me forget just how unwelcomed she could always make me feel.

Finally, Lowell pulled away and broke the awkward moment between me and my sister. He grabbed my arm and dragged me inside the house. “Come on, everyone is in the dining room, you have to join us for lunch,” he said as he walked.

The house was exactly the same as I remembered it… Right behind the door, there was a little hall with stairs leading up and a door leading into the basement, then there was an open way leading into the living room and into the kitchen and dining room. Everything was still colored in dark wood and green with lots of plants all around. The one thing I didn’t remember was the smell. Well yes of course I knew the scent of pine, wolf, pack and for some reason apples, that was home, but the scent of anger and grief was new, and I hated it.

I heard talking and heartbeats before I saw the familiar faces. As soon as I stepped inside the dining room, they all stopped eating and looked up at me, staring at me wordlessly. They obviously didn’t expect me to come. I felt the heat of their combined gazes burn right through me. It made me feel uncomfortable. They looked me up and down, thoroughly examining me. I wasn’t shy and yet when they looked at me like this I wanted to shrivel and disappear. I felt inadequate, unwelcomed. I swallowed hard.

The first to catch my attention was Trystan, my oldest brother. He was the only one of my three siblings that had blond hair, like our Father, but got our mother's blue eyes. He was almost as tall as me with an athletic build. His gaze was hard and cold. Just like Father’s. It was no surprise that he was chosen as the Prince, the next alpha of the Ghealach pack. He didn’t say anything, he just stared at me.

Then there was Nikolai, the Shield of the pack, the leader of warriors who protected the territory. He was tall and lean and all muscles with salt and pepper hair and light blue eyes. He smiled at me sadly, there were big dark circles under his eyes. Bran was his good friend. I felt his grief.

Next to him sat Holly, his mate, a beautiful petite woman with blond hair and light brown eyes. She was the pack Healer; her gaze was kind and welcoming even through the cloud of sadness.

There was Katashi too, one of the warriors of the pack. He had long black hair and brown eyes with clear Japanese features on his face. When I was younger, I used to be scared of him, not many emotions found their way into his expression. Now he just looked sad and angry.

The most important person was missing though. Alistair, our father, and the Alpha.

“Where is he?” I asked not really sure who I meant. Maybe Alistair… maybe Bran.

“Come, sit, eat, there will be time for questions later,” Nikolai said quietly. I took a step towards the table before I caught myself. I didn’t have to listen. I wasn’t sixteen anymore. I wasn’t pack anymore. And while he was more dominant, I have been a loner long enough to fight against the urge to listen. I was going to say no and demand answers, but Lowell grabbed me and dragged me to a chair. There was no way I could say no to him…

“We’re having scotch pie…” he said, his voice thick with grief. Scotch pie was Bran’s favorite. I sat down, lost suddenly as Holly brought me a plate. I just looked at it and thought about the time Bran tried to teach me how to make it. I was a terrible kid, I was energetic, with a short temper and something to prove. Naturally, I was always getting in trouble. Bran tried so hard to calm me down with some cooking lessons. I bitched about them so bad. Oh, how I wished I could get just one more cooking lesson. I didn’t cry but it was close.

In the end, I ate the scotch pie, slowly, in the grieving quiet of the pack. No one spoke. Lowell by my right scooched his chair closer to me so our arms touched. My wolf almost sang at that touch, it calmed my jittering nerves and made me feel less alone. No one sat on my left and Akira threw me some cold glances from where she sat across from me. It just made me more thankful for Lowell.

Only when I swallowed the last bite of the pie did the main door open and inside came power made human. Alistair Ghealach was six feet tall, with solid muscles for a body and an uncompromising mossy green gaze. He stopped in the doorway, just staring at me. His blond hair was slightly mussed and there was some dirt on his hands and face. A tantalizing scent of blood wafted from his lips. Rabbit. He’s been hunting.

I stood up and turned to face him. The last time I saw him I cowered before him, now I stood tall and looked him right in the eye. It was a stupid thing to do, I didn’t want to challenge him, but I was afraid that if I looked away, I would cower before him once again. He was never much for showing affection. He was the Alpha, he needed to be a stone; steady, solid, always there for the pack to lean on him. He was scary and powerful, and he radiated authority. My wolf shook as I stared into the eyes of a bigger predator, but I held myself steady with sheer stubbornness.

“Reid,” he said after a few intense minutes.

“Alistair,” I answered. I didn’t call him dad, maybe when I was six and younger, but for the longest time he was only Alpha or Father. But I have been gone for ten years… I liked to tell myself that he wasn’t much of anything to me now.

“Your room is still in the same place,” he said without much emotion and headed for the stairs. “The funeral will be held tomorrow at midnight.” And that was all he said before he disappeared somewhere upstairs.