Lady Bird woke up when Wayne’s alarm went off. She rolled over and shook him. It wasn’t unusual of him to sleep through it. That wouldn’t be too much of a problem with her, but his alarm was on his side of the bed and she didn’t want to walk around to turn it off. He eventually woke up and slapped the snooze button. There was a loud clunk as the alarm clock fell off the nightstand once again. He groaned and forced himself to get up to retrieve it.

“This wouldn’t be an issue if you didn’t insist on keeping a normal job,” she teased as he turned on the lamp and started to go toward their bathroom. “You could always become a house husband…”

“I don’t think I’m ready for that career change yet. Though ask me again after this tax season and I might have a different answer.”

Once the bathroom door shut, Lady Bird rolled out of bed, threw on her usual morning get-up, and headed to the mess hall. There wouldn’t be too many Minions up this early and she could probably enjoy a cup of coffee and a breakfast bar with no interruptions. When she entered the mess hall, she was surprised to see the kid sitting at the end of one of the tables eating a plain piece of toast.

Once she stopped throwing up consistently, she’d chosen to go back to her room. The kid was fully dressed and looked ready to tackle the day. She must’ve gotten a good night’s sleep. Lady Bird grabbed her coffee and went over to her.

“You feeling better, Kid?”

She nodded. “I mainly wanted some solid food in my stomach. I don’t think I could eat another cracker if I tried. I’ll wait until tomorrow to start eating more complicated foods again, though I haven’t thrown up this morning, so that’s good.”

“You know, if you aren’t feeling completely recovered, we can Ms. Melinguaco and cancel today’s session. I’m sure…”

“No thanks,” the kid replied. “I’m feeling a lot better and I need to keep on schedule as much as I can.”

She seemed to enjoy her sessions with the tutor. Lady Bird didn’t understand, never being a big fan of studying herself, but as long as the kid was content, she wouldn’t complain. She almost walked away when she remembered what she’d been trying to tell her all weekend. She set her coffee town.

“Hey, Kid… Terri. There’s something I’ve got to tell you. Remember the Chateau and the Gemini Hunters being there? About that…”

“The Alchemist has hired them to get revenge on you and you’re worried that I’ll be a target?” She asked before nibbling on her toast some more. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and showed her a text from Baretta, warning her exactly of that. “And you didn’t tell me because…?”

“Because I dropped the ball. I don’t have an excuse.”

The kid nodded. Lady Bird could tell she wasn’t mad, but she did seem a bit annoyed.

“Next time, tell me when mercenaries might be after me right away. It wouldn’t be the first time, after all.”

She could only nod. It was a bit embarrassing to get a dressing down from someone under eighteen, but Lady Bird would admit that she deserved it. What had she been thinking? The kid was old enough to understand how things worked. If she had been upset about the fact that she would need to stay in the Nest for a while, she would’ve just had to get happy about it. She wouldn’t have been the type to storm off in some act of defiance.

“But isn’t Wayne a target too? After all, he’s your husband.”

“He has a bodyguard going with him to work. And he’s done taxes for other villains, so they feel a bit protective over one of the only legitimate accountants that will do that for them. Besides, the Alchemist is mostly talk, even if he somehow had enough money to hire the Gemini Hunters after what we did to him.”

“I just hope this can be resolved soon. We were supposed to continue our TTRPG campaign this weekend.”

“Let me guess, your nerd friend is running it.”

“Well, none of us know how to. But if I have to miss, oh well. They’ll just have to storm the keep without my half-elf fighter.”

Lady Bird grabbed her coffee and left the kid to the rest of her breakfast. She knew she liked video games, but she didn’t know she was into...what was it called? Wyrms and Warrens? That didn’t sound right, but it was probably close enough. But unless the Gemini Hunters gave up sooner than they usually did, she’d be missing that session.

When she got back to the bedroom, Wayne was all ready for the day. He’d probably grab some breakfast on the way out. She relayed to him the conversation she had with the kid.

“See? You fretted over nothing.” He gave her a quick kiss on the check. “All right, I’m heading out. Do you need me to grab anything while I’m out?”

Lady Bird shook her head. “We’re good. Wayne, be careful. There’s no guarantee that the Gemini Hunters won’t nab you.”

“I promise I’ll be careful.”

They embraced before he left the room. Lady Bird finished her coffee and breakfast bar before she hopped in the shower. Once she finished up and left the bathroom, Number One was waiting for her as usual.

“Good morning, Boss. Everything seems to be in order for the day. Ms. Melinguaco just arrived for Terri’s lessons.”

“Good. What’s on today’s schedule?”

“You have more emails to go through, possible new contracts to look over, and the Division of Sustainably Villainy wants to set an appointment with you. Apparently, after Operation Comeuppance, you’ve moved from one category of villain to another. They want to make it clear to you what that entails.”

Lady Bird noted to save that for later. Whoever thought that villainy needed its own government division needed to be shot. It was probably made because the government realized how much they were losing in tax income to villains who dropped the excuse “I can’t put it on the books because I got the money from holding a city hostage” as a reason why they didn’t file that particular income gain. Were she one of those philosophizing villains, she’d claim that the government was the “real villain”. But Lady Bird had better things to do than sound like some college anarchist who acted like they were saying revolutionary things when all the adults already knew the truth. She knew what Lord Resser would say about the division.

The day was pretty busy until lunch, with her mostly going over possible contracts and even sending a few rejection letters. They were in the small arms business, not weapons of mass destruction like some wanted. She wasn’t sure if the Goo was ready to go on the market quite yet. She was about to get up when Blabber burst into the room.

“Boss, we’ve searched everywhere and we can’t find Terri!”

“What do you mean you can’t find the kid?” Lady Bird pushed herself past him. “Did she leave the building?”

“No, the guards posted outside didn’t see her leave or anything. Ms. Melinguaco did, but Terri wasn’t with her. The last anyone saw her, she was putting things in her room. She vanished sometime after that.”

“Did anyone…?”

Number One walked in with a tablet. “Check the cameras? I along with a couple of other minions are doing so. I told the rest to get back to work and the guards to keep an eye out in case she somehow ended up outside.” He looked at the tablet and hummed a bit. “The problem is that the cameras went out for a minute before they came back online. I have the techs checking on the wiring.”

He handed her the tablet. She watched Terri leave the break room and then go to her room. Then as Number One said, the cameras went black for a complete minute before coming back on. The kid was nowhere to be seen on any of the cameras.

“And no one even saw her during this time?”

“They were all working in the main production part. The only reason we know she’s missing is because one of them took an early lunch break and noticed that she left her door open, something she doesn’t usually do. When he checked, she was gone. I guess he got curious and asked around a bit and then realized that no one had seen her in a while.”

Lady Bird knew that the security could be better, but she had never thought them incompetent. Number One never tolerated incompetence. Things just weren’t adding up.

“And you’ve looked everywhere, including the ladies’ restroom?”

“Yes. That was one of the first places checked.”

“Make sure that everyone who was in the base at the time is accounted for.” She’d hate to think that there was a traitor among them, but it was a possibility. No one could just disappear into thin air without something very wrong going on.

“Do another sweep. Make sure she didn’t accidentally get stuck anywhere. She’s not the type to climb into random things, but sometimes accidents happen.”

As soon as they left, she texted the bodyguard with Wayne, just in case. She had a terrible feeling that the thing that they tried to avoid had just happened. As soon as she sent the text, Number One appeared.

“Boss, there’s something you need to see.”

She followed him to the women’s bathroom. One of the smaller end stalls was opened. It had never worked right and Lady Bird, with the lack of female minions, had never bothered to get it fixed. If the kid had been in there and they had somehow missed her, someone was getting fired or at the very least double kitchen duty.

Number One stood by the toilet. “You know how it never worked properly? I think I just figured out the reason why.” He held down the handle, draining the bowl. But instead of releasing the handle, he continued to hold it down. There was a loud click and the toilet and part of the wall slid aside, revealing a secret passage.

“What the…?”

“The previous tenant of this building put this in themselves without informing the landlord. It was nowhere on the blueprints that we received when we started renting this place. It hasn’t been used in years. Well, not until just today.”

Lady Bird got the urge to strangle someone. She wasn’t quite sure who, the person who built and neglected to tell anyone, the landlord who somehow missed the fact that they did this, or her security team for not noticing a major security hazard for so long. She angrily kicked the toilet. It hurt, but it also broke the toilet thanks to her special shoes.

“How’d you find it?”

“Upon the second sweep of the bathroom, someone noticed the dirt.” Number One pointed to the floor. “We never noticed because we didn't keep it clean. But with Terri here, we clean it a lot more often. It was cleaned last night, so there should’ve been no dirt. I suppose everyone was so used to it being dirty that when the ones who looked here the first time saw it, they didn’t think it was odd. I don’t think the second sweep wouldn’t have noticed if the one who cleaned the bathroom a couple of days ago hadn’t been with them.”

“Did you send someone down to see where it leads?”

“Of course. I anticipate a call at any moment.” Number One stated. “But whoever came in is probably gone with Terri by now.”

Lady Bird sighed. As usual, he would be right. There was very little question of who did it, but they needed to confirm it first.

"I'll call Beretta. Maybe she won't kill me for losing the kid. Start someone on filling in that tunnel and let me know when the people you sent get to the end."

Everyone rushed to handle her orders. She picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Beretta, we have a problem."

--

A plumbing van turned into the parking lot of a building for lease. Two men in coveralls and hats got out and went to the back of the van. They pulled out a long sack and carried it inside. They dropped it.

“I’ll go take care of the van while you secure the package.” One said the other. “Try to be careful.”

“Don’t worry, Chiron. I know.” Orion took off his hat and tossed it to the side. “She shouldn’t be too much trouble. That stuff I got her with will keep her out for a while. You going to make the call?”

“After I take care of the van. Hopefully, he’ll take her off our hands soon. I don’t like getting mixed up with stuff that could get personal, even if the money is good.”

Chiron headed out as Orion removed the cover-all, revealing his usual kevlar outfit. He slipped his mask on before opening the bag and dumping out an unconscious Terri.

“Nothing personal kid.” He stated as he got out the cuffs and dragged over a chair. “Just doing our job.”