The rage came quickly before being snuffed with sickening guilt.

With fistfuls of sandwiches in hand (and tragically abandoned crepes) Lance dragged Bael away by the arm from the scene of the crime. At first he resisted with a snarl, but relented as more people crowded around them. Bael’s own eyes expressed his immense discomfort, so he snatched what he could carry in hand and followed Lance’s lead.

After quickly leaving an abundant pile of rupees on the table, Lance shifted between jogging and full on sprinting in the direction of the northern district where he lived. His mouth was filled with food, and if that wasn’t the case he would be cursing like a sailor. Instead he focused on leading them down less trodden roadways to avoid any unwanted pursuants. Not that he knew if there were any, but after assaulting someone he would assume a city guard would be chasing the perpetrator.

Eventually they arrived at the Wisteria estate where Lance dropped his hands to his knees as he heaved to catch his breath. Bael appeared to be unphased by the exertion, only wearing the same angered expression he had moments prior. Lance couldn’t yet form the words he wanted to say, instead fixating on just how much he wanted to wash away the filth and memories that lived on his body now. The melting pot of emotions that roiled in his stomach was provided an additional ingredient of disgust.

Without even addressing Bael, Lance just walked into his home without a word. He didn’t care if he climbed up into his room or followed behind him. Hell, he could just leave for all Lance cared. Not that Bael would, he believed. The fates kept them intertwined, for better or for worse.

As Lance stepped across the threshold, he heard a feminine gasp as a metal platter clattered to the floor. Ah, right, there was a good chance Abigail would see him in his current sorry state. Last time his clothes had been cleaned up to a degree, but this time he appeared just as rancid as he felt on the outside.

“Easy, Abi. I’m alright. It was raining this morning and Oberon got spooked, tossing me in the mud,” he lied with effortless ease. As he continued to weave more webs of deceit, the more it became second nature.

“Lance Arthur Wisteria, where in Termina have you been!?” she shouted, fumbling to pick up the platter.

Instinctively Lance recoiled; being berated by Abi never got easier, despite his age. “I’ll explain later, okay? Right now all I want is a bath and fresh clothes, surely you can understand that.” As he said this he slowly began to creep forward in an attempt to sidestep around her before she could flag him down.

“Hmph. Well, you’re too old for me to worry about keeping up with your antics. Your father’s been fit to be tied for the past three days you’ve been gone. We never even knew you left until you didn’t come home the first night. At least have the decency to leave a note for us. Adult to be married or not, your family is going to worry about you if you turn up missing all of a sudden,” she lectured, voice breathy as she strained from bending over.

Lance was already midway up the staircase by the time she finished what she had to say. He tossed up a half-hearted wave before disappearing into the darkness of the upper floor. His bedroom was quiet and empty; historically it was how he preferred it to be. On the dresser nearest to the door he spied his father’s sun mask, which triggered a vivid memory of burgundy hair. It whipped in the wind, obscuring a grinning optimistic face of a dear friend. The thought of her made him clutch at his chest.

He picked up the mask and stroked a single finger down the center of the design, collecting a fine layer of dust. His fingers dug into the firm wood, threatening to embed splinters in them. “I don’t deserve the honor this mask bestows upon me. My love is- it’s all just a sham. I’m no sun in search of my moon, I’m just a dying star moments from ruin.”

The deeper he stared into the hollow black eyes of the sun mask, the harder he squeezed. A vein bulged on his forehead from the intensity of his glare. His hand reared back and flung the mask across the room with an infuriated shout.

Water spiraled down the drain, yet Lance’s mental afflictions remained. He lingered under the showerhead until it turned icy cold. His teeth chattered as he hurriedly stepped out to reclaim warmth. He had no grasp on how much time passed, feeling delirious and out of body. The light from the window indicated the sun still remained high in the sky, but it felt as if hours had gone by since he returned home.

Lance dressed in his favorite nightwear and prepared to sleep until kingdom come. He escaped the suffocating steam room that his bathroom had become to see that Bael indeed had snuck into his bedroom after all. He sat on the floor at the opposite end of the room from his bedroom, staring at the wall as if he intended to burrow a hole into it with his look alone. Nyx rested in his lap, with Lance unable to tell if she was awake or asleep.

Instead of broaching the elephant in the room Lance flopped face first onto his bed with a moan and sank into the comforting mattress. He pulled the pillow closer to his face to burrow into, sighing into the soft texture. As his legs maneuvered into his preferred resting position, they knocked into something hard causing it to be pushed off the bed.

He winced with a groan before looking to see whatever it was. It was the sun mask, now with pieces of twine wrapped around it in a few places. Lance picked it up with a tentative hand, running his thumb over the messy wrapping job. A finger traced along a newly formed line down from the top to the right cheek.

“I saw that your special mask got broken, so I tried to fix it for you. Sorry, it turned out pretty ugly,” Bael stated, eyes still focused forward.

Lance let the mask fall back to the floor with a clatter, noisily flapping his lips as he rolled back over to face away from Bael. “You should have just left it like that. That mask is a waste in hands like mine.”

Bael didn’t respond, and Lance assumed it would be left at that as they mired in their respective misery. What Lance did hear, however, was the sound of him standing up and creeping closer to the bed. He then saw the sun mask plop in front of his face from behind.

“When I asked you what this thing was you told me an impassioned story about your human traditions of love and marriage. The look in your eyes was of a man filled with desire. I don’t know what happened to change that feeling, but if this thing means that much to you you should take care of it,” Bael said, his voice soft and emotionless.

“Why do you care?” Lance shot back with ire creeping into his throat.

“It’s something you believe in. I may not fathom it, but I have immense respect for aspirations.”

Lance bit his lower lip as the raging storm of his heart threatened to burst from his chest. His arms wrapped tightly around himself as he began to curl into a ball. There were many beasts upon his back he needed to thwart, but there was one in particular that needed to be laid to rest right away. If he didn’t it was going to eat him from the inside out.

“Hey, Bael?” he asked, his worries apparent in the quiet creak of his voice.

Bael grunted in acknowledgment.

“Have you ever been in love before?”

He did not answer, and Lance wished it were possible to reach out and pull the words back into his mouth. What was done was done, however, and he pinched his eyes shut. Perhaps this confirmation was what he needed to cease the compulsive, invasive machinations of his imagination.

“I don’t know,” replied Bael with heavy uncertainty.

That was not the answer Lance sought, nor was it the one he feared that the fiery lashes would render him to shreds. Cautiously he allowed his body to partially unfurl, but still intently facing away from the presence that tormented him so. A tentative finger reached out to caress the lips carved on the mask, reminiscing the long lost taste of Bael.

“I see. Has someone ever been in love with you?”

“That I do believe to be true, unfortunately,” he admitted quickly and with certainty.

I suppose I wouldn’t be the first to be captured in the maelstrom of your charms. A life as long as yours must have many a broken heart littered behind it.

“I’ve been in love. For a long time, actually. At first it was quiet and dull, only making itself known when I had to watch them be with someone else. Eventually, I just accepted I was meant to linger in those feelings for the rest of my days with no recourse. Never did my heart dare to wander, and because of that I thought my feelings were always admirable.”

Lance paused, waiting with bated breath for how Bael might respond. Truly, Lance wanted nothing more than to look on his face and find sympathy, perhaps even an ounce of understanding. Now knowing emotional validation, it was growing into a perilous addiction. Still, he remained steadfast, not finding any evidence he was worthy of any of it.

“I’ve now realized that the actions I’ve taken out of love are not admirable, and in fact I would say they’re reprehensible,” he continued at Bael’s persistent silence. “Now I- now I’m confronted with the realization that my stalwart love might be fading. Replaced with something strange and new. It frightens me.”

Lance barked a nervous laugh that his hand failed to cover before it escaped into the air. “You say you know nothing of feeling love, but have you known this feeling? Believing that you know yourself, then realizing it’s all something else entirely. You’re not the you you thought you were, and so you’re letting somebody down because of it. Even if they don’t know it, nor will they ever. Because they never saw the real you that you now know, and you hope to the heavens they never will.”

He didn’t know what possessed him at this point. One moment he was fine, suppressing the swells of his heartache, with simple pleasures like food enough to lift his mood. The next thing he knew his mind was swallowed in darkness while he struggled to breach from the depths. Lance mentally cursed Orwen for pushing his emotional stability off kilter; he had been a painful reminder that Lance could not know peace.

The bed dipped as a new weight pressed onto it and Lance’s body seized. He braced for Bael’s touch, but it was a dream that would not come true. Bael laid down beside him with their bodies a hair’s breadth apart. The heat radiating from him was the only reminder that Lance was not alone.

“Yes,” Bael answered bluntly. “I’m very familiar with believing myself to be something more than I truly am. You carry heavy burdens forced upon you by others as well, don’t you?”

“I have been for a long time it seems. Today is just the day I realized I was carrying them all alone. I used to think when I had nowhere else to turn my friends would be there. Now I see that I’m just alone, and probably have been for a long time,” Lance answered gloomily.

“How can you say that?” Bael asked sharply, a spark of something unkind in his words.

“Because it’s the truth.”

“Maybe you’ve forgotten, but two humans accompanied you into the woods that fateful night. That seems like the picture of dependability to me. Two people die- well, you understand what I’m getting at.” Bael’s voice faltered as he tapered off.

“Thane is just always happy to flaunt his masculinity. Plus my father would have made their lives miserable if something happened to me. Since it would send my mother into despair, naturally.”

“If you don’t feel close to them, what of that woman at the farm?”

Lance’s breathing hitched and his eyes shut tight. “I used to think we shared our burdens, but I see now I’m just hurting her with false gallantry.”

Bael audibly forced air through his nose, which Lance couldn’t decide if it indicated anger or contemplation. “You’re talking about a lot of personal matters I don’t have context for. I think I can say if the company you keep holds similar ideals as you they would be loyal friends.”

A nervous laugh escaped Lance in response. “You say that, but one of my closest friends is the man you met today. Orwen knows things about me I wouldn’t even tell my mother. Yet he does something so pointedly to hurt me I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“Wait. I understood you knew that man, but you’re telling me that’s one of your closest friends?” Bael spat venomously.

Lance stiffened at the ire in his voice. It had been some time since he felt fear in Bael’s presence, but the emotion returned in full force now. He wanted to inch closer to the other side of the bed away from Bael’s anger, but Lance was frozen in place.

“Here I was convinced you were a different sort of privileged human, but like I said the company you keep is indicative of who you are as a person. If you can be close to someone like that, then you probably aren’t so dissimilar after all.”

“That’s not fair!” Lance shouted, heart pumping in his chest as his adrenaline rose. “I can be friends with someone and not condone their actions. I have never expressed an agreement with Orwen’s distaste for the lower class. In fact, I’ve always done my best to show him why what he thinks is not right.”

Bael sprang up from the bed and began pacing the floor several steps away. “It doesn’t work like that, Lance. By your continued companionship and confidence in someone whose core values differ from yours, you are complacent in their behavior. On the surface you say you don’t like it, but deep down you really find it no more distasteful than someone who prefers winter to your love of summer.”

Finally Lance’s eyes found Bael after abruptly raising up to look at the person who so suddenly turned on him. He did not find a man whose body language and face betrayed anger, no, Bael was frightening for an entirely different reason.

He paced in a pattern reminiscent of a caged animal desperate for escape. His eyes were wide, panicked, and without a trace of composure. Nyx trailed behind him, having been so silent during this exchange Lance had dared to believe perhaps she was not here. Each time she tried to fly faster to reach his side Bael quickened his pace to escape her comfort.

“Bael, are you alright?” Lance questioned, fear dissipating into worry.

Bael locked eyes with him for the first time in this exchange, and he appeared to be teetering on the edge of hysterics. “Oh, what a fool I was to think I might walk in your light, Lance. It was a short, wondrous fantasy, but now it must come to an end. A beast like myself can’t fathom marring your flawless image. It’s out of the question.”

Lance quickly rose to his knees, shuffling to the edge of the bed. He planted his hands on the footrest as he leaned forward. His heart felt like it was going to burst from his chest if things persisted in this direction. “Where in the world is this coming from, Bael? I’m sorry that my friend was cruel to you. Do you not know how much that hurt me, as well? I’m not as brave as you, I can’t leap to fight at a moment’s notice.”

The other man heaved, the rise and fall of his shoulders was drastic. “You don’t need to apologize to me; I was in the wrong for forgetting my place in this world. We’re from different worlds, you and I, we shan’t pretend it’s otherwise anymore.”

“Bael, you’re just upset. Now, before you say something you’ll-” Nyx interjected but was harshly interrupted.

“Stop. Commanding me,” Bael lashed out. As he said this, an unsettling energy seeped into Lance’s body that made him feel nauseous. His vision began to tint gray, and he could almost swear he noticed Bael’s eyes flash an unusual color.

“Nyx is right, we’re both upset and I think you’re saying things you don’t really mean.” Lance stood up from the bed, and as he did this Bael visibly flinched as he watched him closely. With arms extended, Lance attempted to pull Bael into a hug. This was the language Bael spoke, he recalled Nyx having told him once. Lance just needed to speak to Bael in a way he understood.

However, before Lance was able to encircle the other man in his embrace a hand clenched around his throat and another pushed into his stomach. He was forced into stumbling backwards, yelling as it happened but was swiftly stifled.

Soon there was no floor left to walk upon and Lance fell backwards onto the bed. Bael was over him, straddling his waist as he carefully applied pressure to his throat. One of Lance’s hands tried and failed to pull at the arm holding him down, while the other was pinned by Bael’s other hand.

With no path of escape, Lance’s body froze and his eyes locked intently with his captor. His jaw hung open but no words were spoken, lest he be the victim of retaliation.

Bael’s eyes remained feral, more like those of a wild animal than a human being. The typical vibrant, crystal blue of his eyes had dimmed into a dull gray. His mouth parted slightly, allowing the sweet coffee flavor of his breath to fill Lance’s lungs. The fingers that held Lance quivered, letting up just enough so that breathing and speaking wouldn’t be impossible.

“Poor little Lance,” Bael crooned, voice shaky, “all the possessions one could want in the world, but your cries are lost in your sprawling manor.”

“You showed me your truth, Bael,” Lance gasped. “I know this isn’t what you really want. You don’t have to push me away because of whatever stupid idea you’ve got in your head.”

The hand on his throat tightened but not enough to hurt. “You don’t know what I want, human. You have absolutely no idea what my heart wants.” Bael’s hand relented, and when Lance didn’t squirm out of his grasp he traced the tip of his thumb at the base of Lance’s chin.

“I know you care about me,” Lance retorted.

“A truth that cannot persist.”

“Is that it then? You’re just going to throw away something that makes you happy for no reason?”

“We’re going to continue to work together, as I must continue to watch over you. No more playing pretend, though I did enjoy our time together. We’ll be returning to Ikana City tomorrow, so be up bright and early.” Bael ignored all protests as he removed himself from the bed and walked over to the window. Without a word of farewell he jumped outside, closing the window behind him.

Lance rose to catch a glimpse of him as he left, but not a trace of Bael could be seen. As his thoughts began to race over what just occurred, he took a few deep breaths to try and settle his nerves. Originally he planned to just sleep off his misery, but he couldn’t remain in this bedroom any longer. The scent of Bael’s breath continued to linger, making him ill.

He needed to see his mother.

Bael had sprinted off to a nearby park in Clock Town that would provide him with water as well as a place to lay low. He climbed into a tall tree obscured from sight of passersby to rest for the time being. Continuing to be in these clothes wasn’t his first choice, but he couldn’t rightly bathe in the middle of the day. That would come with the cover of night.

He laid back on the bough, arms crossed behind his head and legs overlapped as he assumed a comfortable position. Just as he began to close his eyes to rest and try to forget, the burning sensation of a fierce stare made him peek open an eye.

“I can’t believe that was your plan this whole time. You really acted like a loon, and I don’t think you’re going to be able to come back from this one so easily,” Nyx lectured.

Bael scoffed with a roll of his eyes. “That’s the point, Nyx. It needs to be impossible to come back from. Intimacy was making me weak and you saw what came of it; I need to be strong for him to survive this.”

“We’re all going to survive this, Bael. Don’t talk like that.”

“Ideally, but I’m not optimistic about it,” he replied with a weak smile. “I want to protect you both, more than anything else in this world.”

Nyx shook, and Bael so painfully wished to hold her in his hand and comfort her as she had his whole life. He couldn’t bring himself to do it, however, as he believed himself only to be a poison to others.

“You know that boy’s falling in love with you, don’t you?” she asked suddenly.

“Yes,” Bael answered, heart aching.

“And you know you’re already deep in it too.”

“I am.”

“He’s going to want a life with you after all of this, don’t you see that? Pushing him away is just destroying the happiness you both could have.”

Bael then looked up with both eyes open, took a deep breath, and smiled at her with watery eyes.

“You know as well as I, my life isn’t mine to give.”