Coming from the euphoric experience of self-unawareness, I woke up into a brilliant light. Slowly becoming more and more accustomed to my self, I squinted my eyes to discover that I was in a cathedral.

It was the most magnificent cathedral I had ever seen – and the first. I was prone on what seemed to be a marble altar in the center of four equally sized naves with a crystal chandelier hanging from the frescoed dome above me. Beneath the altar was a granite compass rose, with each cardinal point aimed through a nave. In the dome above the northern nave, the northern star hung above a permafrost tundra, which despite being a painting, still gave one chills upon viewing. To the east there was a lightning bolt illuminating a muddy river that rushed through a water-soaked field. To the south, a sun gazed upon scorched desert. Lastly, to the west, a crescent moon rested in the twilight above a wilting forest.

I then turned my gaze to myself. I wore a dark green hunter’s outfit with leather boots and belt. On my left hip hung a dagger and a buckler while an empty quiver was slung across my back. I was also holding an unstrung longbow in my left hand.

In each of the naves, there were dozens of pews but only a few people in total. Some of them had apparently just noticed me as if I had not been lying there before I awoke. They lifted their heads to see me but quickly put the back down as if expecting someone else.

Stepping off the altar with wobbly legs, I walked towards the eastern nave when I noticed that someone else had appeared on the altar I just left wearing light armor that was not lightly damaged. Soon someone, who was waiting on the pews, sprung up to welcome him with tears. It was not until now that I realized that I had forgot something very important, namely everything from before I awoke. Picking a pew near the back, I began to ponder over my situation.

Firstly, I listed the things I did know. (A) I knew several languages fluently, idiomatically, and lexically. (B) I knew every scientific law and mathematical formula/axiom/theorem I knew of with no gaps. © I knew human anatomy in detail and basic biology. (D) I knew the thermodynamic properties of most common fluids and the mechanical properties of most common materials. (E) I knew that I had a HUD.

The last concerned me the most at the time because I knew (per A) that HUD belong in video games and fighter jet cockpits, not irl. As for my HUD, it seemed like a combination of both: it had the HP, MP, etc. bars of a video game and the gauges of an aircraft. It also had a topographic mini-map and a menu. Opening the menu with a thought, four tabs popped up: a Status tab, a Skills tab, an Inventory tab, and a Help tab. Selecting the latter, I was disappointed with its contents:

help tab

Help

HUD: Displays basic status and attitude data Menu: Contains personal data Help tab: Displays useful data regarding various things

Basically, it said nothing. Moving past the Skills tab, which said with no décor, “You have no skills,” and the Inventory tab, which similarly said, “You have no inventory,” I came to my Status tab that had more data than I could use at one time:

status tab

Status

Identity: Name: “Robin” Age: 16 Sex: Female Job: [You are jobless] Home: [You are homeless] Gauge Levels: HP: 87/87 SP: 60/60 MP: 507/507 LP: 100 PP: 10/10 XP: 1 Summary Statistics: Level: 0 Combat Level: 0 Civil Level: 0 Rank: 30.5 STRength: 7.6 DEXterity: 12.3 STAmina: 8.9 INTeligence: 50.1 WISdom: 45.5 WILlpower: 10.0 CONviction: 3.1 FAIth: 37.2 CORrectness: 99.9 Tier: E- Equipped Items: A Simple Green Archer’s Hat A Simple Green Huntress’s Blouse A Simple Green Huntress’s Skirt The Divine Panties of Chastity Indestructible Self-cleaning Cannot be removed by anyone other than the wearer even after death or on accident Under no circumstances will the wearer’s privates be revealed while equipped If anyone without sufficient mental resistance looking at the wearer nefariously gazes upon them, they will immediately lose interest The Divine Sports Bra of Chastity Indestructible Self-cleaning Cannot be removed by anyone other than the wearer even after death or on accident Under no circumstances will the wearer’s privates be revealed while equipped Automatically alerts the wearer of ‘Peeping Toms’ Plain Leather Boots A Plain Leather Belt A Plain Leather Archer’s Right Glove A Plain Leather Archer’s Left Arm Guard A Plain Leather Quiver (empty) A Basic Hunting Dagger A Ordinary Iron Buckler A Standard Ironwood Longbow (unstrung) Measurements: [[withheld]] …

The Status tab continued with increasingly specific data, going even so far as genetic anomalies. I skipped this and began to walk out of the cathedral.

“Hey miss, I see you are low on arrows. I can give you twenty for twenty.”

“Could the pretty lady spare this old man a penny?”

The things that assaulted me as I left the cathedral were, in order, brilliant afternoon sunlight, atrocious smells, street vendors, and beggars – each its own kind of annoying.

Ignoring my way through the busy avenue, I stopped in an uncrowded side street where I shortly thereafter found another problem.

“Little girl, are you lost? Come with us big brothers, and we can help you out.” Three rather burly men approached me with lecherous gazes.

I curtly replied, “Yes, could you please take me to the nearest police station?”

“What?” Apparently, they had never heard of police stations. “Forget it. Let’s just take her by force.” Suddenly, they each drew a short sword, and I followed with trumps by flipping up my skirt. Like a charm, the three men became impotent upon seeing my panties and awkwardly and confusedly left.

After this incident, I wandered through the city until I came to a building that seemed to be plagued by traffic. Its sign board identified it as the “Adventurer’s Guild di Firenze,” and although I did not know what qualifies one as an adventurer, the comers and goers appeared quite adventurous looking purely at their outfits. Seeing children among their ranks, I figured that I should not face any trouble exploring the insides.

Now it needs to be mentioned that between locating the Adventurer’s Guild and entering, the hands of almost a dozen pickpockets tried and failed to find any coin on me, which is reasonable considering I had nothing to be found.

In the guild’s main hall in addition to chaos, there happened to be a desk with the sign “↓ New Members Apply Here ↓.” Really, everything around here is so convenient. Walking up to the desk, I asked the clerk, “Is this where I go to become an adventurer?”

At this point, you are probably wondering why and how I decided to become an adventurer when I have no idea where I am and so on and so forth. Well, the answer is simple: I assumed I was trapped in a game, and what do you do in games that have adventurers? Adventure. It’s as simple as that.

The clerk at first startled, replied, “Sorry miss but in order to join you must be at least combat level 5.”

I quickly responded, “Then how do I raise my level?”

“By learning skills, of course.”

“And how do I do that?”

“You really know nothing, don’t you?”

“It’s not that I know nothing, but that I know nothing practical.”

“So you admit it?”

“Why would I not?”

The clerk sighed, “Here’s how it goes: one’s overall level is the total number of skills one has. This is then divided into combat level for combat skills and civil level for civil skills. One’s rank is the arithmetic mean of your nine primary stats. Lastly, one’s tier is a rough gauge of one’s overall ability. Looking at your stats, I can tell you are suited to being a magician, so –”

“Wait,” I interrupted. “You can see my stats?”

“Yes, I have the skill ‘Examine’ that allows me to get a vague understanding of your summary statistics.”

“That’s a skill?”

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“Because I can tell that your overall level is between 45 and 65, and I don’t have that skill.”

[You have earned the skills ‘Examine II’ and ‘Analyze III’. Civil level increases to 5.]

“Oh? Never mind: I just got it and another skill called ‘Analyze’.”

Whoever whitewashed the clerk’s face, I don’t know; but when he came to, he acted as if the past fifteen seconds had never happened: “…You are suited to being a magician, so I’m going to recommend you to the local magic academy. Take this business card to the office of the registrar and tell them I recommended you and you should be able to get into the beginner’s class.”

Taking the card from his shaking hand and smiling brightly, I beamed, “Thank you, sir!” and turning around, I skipped through the busy hall to the exit. By the way, skipping through a large crowd like this is apparently a combat skill named ‘Skip Step Evasion I’.

After an hour of wandering about and asking for directions, I found what I was looking for, and ended up getting caught up in politics.

“I absolutely refuse to sleep in the same room as this, this street rat!” My new roommate is a spoiled princess with amazing talent for magic who has lived in a personal mansion up until now, but in an effort to get her to sympathize more with the commoners, she ended up rooming with me.

“If you do anything to my little sister, I will make sure that you never see the sky again.” Oh yeah, her older brother is a siscon. My life is going to be hell for a while, but at least it will be a hell with free food and lodging.