I wonder how the first human found out it had supernatural powers... For the sake of the thought, let's call this the degenerate gamer: subject 1. Now, this is all hypothetical. Whether or not such a character exists is a question for another day. But if I had to say something: out of the billions of people on this planet, there's bound to be someone out there who fits a similar description.

After a long day, subject 1 returned home to relieve the pent up stress from his part-time job at the nearby fast food joint. Having been scolded by a certain ungrateful woman who demanded the appearance of the manager, his mood was at an all-time low. It is understandable for one to be frustrated when handling such troublesome customers.

'She didn't even pay!' thought subject 1 in frustration, as he flicked the power button on the game console.

He grabbed a nearby game case that sat on the run-down couch with stains of different colors as if it had been graffitied with countless fluids.

Popping the case open was the minty and crisp cover of an artifact. An artifact known to gamers from around the globe as the legendary limited edition disc: The Mystical Adventures of Spooderman.

Subject 1 had gotten his hands on this good the previous day but was unable to play it since he had to work the night shift.

Bringing his nose in, he gave a deep sniff to refresh himself with its aura. Almost immediately, the wrinkles across his face scattered while the creases along his forehead poofed out of existence. With this singular object, he could dispel all the stressful happenings at work and bring rejuvenation from deep within.

Licking his dry lips, he popped the disc out of the case and inserted it gently into the game console; showering it with love that could raise a child into a grown man.

Accompanied by some indecipherable tune he hummed, a wide grin was plastered on his face for the world to see. His crooked yellow teeth were exposed freely, as if shouting, “I'm a liberated man!”

This man was not at all abashed by his tone-deaf humming.

'Nay! I am my own person! Let others badmouth me all they want! Others are just jealous of my beautiful voice!' Read his inner thoughts as he held the controller in hand, waiting for the screen to finish loading.

After a minute or so passed, his grip on the controller started tightening. Thoughts of doubt started making its way into his head. The imaginings were quiet at first, but as the clock ticked past midnight, he started sweating. His hands got greasier as he held onto the controller. Even though it was the winter, he was sweating. Was it out of disbelief? Or perhaps some other factor that would result in his cold sweat. In fact, the complete rotation of the hour hand made it a new day—New Year's Day; January 1st, 2036.

For a weak-minded human, his patience could only last so long. At least tens of minutes had already passed—the monitor was still stuck on the loading screen—moving an infinite wheel; never-ending.

Having waited enough, he restarted the game console only to be met with the same loading screen.

Minutes passed, and the screen did not look like it was going to change anytime soon. But of course, it is when you least expected it: would it occur.

"FUUCK!!!" Subject 1 got up and tossed the controller on the sofa. For there was a clear message displayed on the screen.

Error 404

'I've been scammed!' the man immediately thought. It wasn't like the thought had never appeared in his mind before; he just didn't have any evidence to justify it. He pushed it to the back of his subconscious, but that would only delay its reemergence. Hindsight bias, some call it. Others: intuition—the intuition of a gamer. Of course, to an idiotic monkey, they would fail to see things in clarity when blinded with emotions in the subjective. He did not once question whether or not it was the fault of the game console but jumped to the conclusion that the game disc was a fake. Nor did he have the knowledge to know that an Error 404 does not naturally appear. No, for any person knowledgeable about the web, this would appear as bullshit. Though, subject 1 did not question anything else. He did not think he was at fault. The fault laid in the seller... He would think.

He also heard the loud bang resounding from the wall.

'Bad luck,' he thought.

When he tossed the controller aside, he had far underestimated the power of the springs laid beneath the surface of the sofa. With the incoming projectile, it easily deflected the controller onto the nearest wall, breaking it into pieces. Surely his attention would move to the noise, but he was occupied at the current. For he was far too annoyed to care about anything anymore.

It was the fault of the producers after all, right? It was their fault the controller was so fragile. Surely it was anybody but himself to blame. Or so he continued to think.

'It's just a bad day,' he walked to the bedroom without cleaning the mess. He didn't even shut the game console down. He simply wasn't in the mood.

'Why does God hate me?' subject 1 thinks as if pleading to some higher existence would do him any good.

After laying there in bed, unable to fall asleep, he got up. The actions of a monkey can be fathomed—but what they actually do and should do are different things.

Stupidity and humanity come in pairs. But maybe it was a particular god-sent package that tried to alleviate the problems of the stupid. Perhaps that was how these superpowers were bestowed. After all, if a higher existence truly existed, they would pity us foolish primates—or they'd turn a blind eye. Humans that took over the world... Stupid creatures? Maybe these powers were bestowed upon humanity as a gift or a present to save ourselves from the idiocy that is ourselves. One can never know.

Subject 1 exited the bathroom after the usual bedtime routines and was met with the question that appeared in his mind.

'I don't have enough money to buy a new controller.' and so, he was met with a genius thought.

'I guess I'll have to put it back together myself.'

A primate alone can't do much. But a tinkerer could spell trouble. Maybe he would somehow cause an explosion in the apartment. Or perhaps invent the time machine by accident. Indeed, these stupid primates already had a gift. The gift of a brain. A conscious one: brimming with thoughts.

Subject 1, unable to contain himself, went straight at the obstacle. The clichéd phrase, 'Others can do it. Why can't I?’ was circulating in his thoughts. It never appeared to him that the phrase was utter nonsense; a hoax created by the successful and talented. Minds evolved not by following others—but by questioning.

Thus, subject 1 tackled the obstacle for hours on end until the sun had finally risen.

'What use was it?' he started questioning his own capabilities; a common action among idiots. At the core, he knows it was he who fucked his own life up. But it is also he who does not want to change.

Through the darkness of the night, he studied the blueprints and countless videos available of controller repair online. Many approached it the same. A few different ingenious approaches too. But none of them worked for him. He did not have the necessary equipment nor the dexterity and hand coordination required of the profession. The mindset may have been good, but limitations always existed—for a good reason too.

So what could he do? Was the only option left to buy another one? To pay someone to fix it? The passageway for both ends required money, which he had little of. A dilemma.

So what does he do? Simple, he does the only thing he believes.

He kneels down and starts praying to God. As would any atheist, they would describe this monkey as an incorrigible fool—for why would God want to help you? Why are you licking the toes of God when you find yourself trapped? Why do you delusion yourself to believe God even exists?

Maybe it was exactly because he was stupid. But he did do it. He experimented. Even if it wouldn't work, he tried. Perhaps it was because he tried that he was bestowed power. Or maybe the power always existed in him but he just never knew how to utilize it.

'Please restore this, God!' he pleaded.

If any theist could hear his rude prayer, they would not hesitate to bash him into the floor.

Being faced with the truth that his plea for help did nothing, he tried yet again: this time holding all the scraps of metal in hand.

'Please restore th—' before he could finish uttering the prayer in his mind, the controller had already reformed itself, as if it had never been broken in the first place.

Afterward:

So—that was one possibility. “Why this particular subject?” you may ask. In response, I would say it is the same as asking, “Why?” or “Why not?” The purest explanation for this is that I just happened to be thinking about how stupid it must feel like to be another person who was not as—well, saying smart sounds narcissistic so... And I guess in the process of doing so, I created an entire story about a fictitious character birthed from my mind. But still, it wasn't like I didn't expect it. Waking up one day and everyone had superpowers. I guess that's the world I'm living in. Nothing I can do about it. At least nothing I am aware of. I mean, I'm sure many others have had dreams of such an event happening.

It is somewhat disappointing. One would expect some sort of power dynamic to suddenly change due to the addition of this new factor known as a superpower. But, no. There was still the invisible social hierarchy with the lower class, middle class, upper class, etc. On the political side, things seem calm, but I'd predict there would be turmoil between the big nations very soon. Although there was a slight increase in criminal activity, it wasn't to the level deserved of a 'breaking news.' Everything is the same as usual. Prices were normal too; that included the stock market, food, technology, and other luxuries. Inflation and Depreciation are nowhere in sight. I guess that's a good thing. It has already been a week since the global announcement of superpowers. And that would also mean tomorrow would be back to school. Spring break really is over, huh? How short... Excited? I guess I am. Yes, I admit I am somewhat interested in how the addition of a superpower will affect education systems.

Of course, there is a lot of information circulating through the web these days with the discovery of some earth-shattering superpowers such as the ability to control the weather and other similar nature-defying forces. I wonder how the government will handle the emergence of these cataclysmic powers. Then again, a case can be made about how these powers could be used for the further improvement of society. Socialism and utilitarian ideals will definitely be encouraged. But just as many as there are good, there will be bad people. I firmly hold my ground on that statement. Though I still find it a bit hard to believe: this boring old game known as life finally got updated. I expect—no—let's not raise any flags. Having expectations will open the path to disappointment, which I am already feeling. But—just because there is a lack of chaos doesn't mean there will be a lack of fun. I look forward to seeing how humanity will continue on. Will aliens finally reveal their existence? Will humanity fall? Seriously, what could happen? I'm exhilarated.

Anyway, these idiotic social butterflies are really fascinating. All it takes is a quick scan of their social media accounts and I have everything I need to know about them. Not even a stupid monkey would show its weak point to a predator. How casual these people are. I seriously question how they have the leisure—no, they are just spoiled brats. But thanks to them, I can study all these new and magnificent phenomenons. Searing steak with your hand? Cool, guess I'll put that in the 'near useless but can be improvised' category. You spit acid? That's kind of gross. I suppose I'll write it down anyway...

That's pretty much all that's been on my mind as of late. I guess I'll focus on analyzing all the powers out there so I can better prepare and adapt when the knowledge becomes useful to my survival. Ah—there I go again with my expectations. Well, it would definitely be more pleasurable if the rise of these superpowers would spell an apocalyptic world. With all this that's been going on in the world, I don't think I'll have the time to meet with you anymore.

Burial? Well, if you really want to: I can do it. The backyard should be deep enough to bury you in. Alright then.

See you soon,

My friend