Man, you really wish you had planned that out better. You’re fairly sure you had her on the ropes there. She wasn’t breaking through your bone’s natural durability that well. She only really made progress with her magic and her surprise sneak attack. Fucking cheater.

Food.

Yes, yes, yes. You’re ravenous, haven’t had a decent meal at all, and all that. Not that you can do anything in the vast emptiness of the void your in.

Answer the call, Oh Loyal Servant.

Did you not just say that was impossible? Jeez. Well, all you need do is wait for your natural, or unnatural in your case, regeneration to bring you back to working order. However long that takes.

Hunger.

Eliminate whatever obstacles lay before you.

Can’t really break the vast nothingness surrounding you if you have nobody. Or eat it for that matter. Not that you have any idea of how to do either if you could.

Devour.

May no disability halt your eternal service.

Aren’t you listening? There isn’t anything for you to do! You are just a ghost in wind! You. Cant. Do. Anything!

Consume.

For the Master, blessed with independence you are.

You cannot.

Consume.

For the Master, blessed with independence you are.

You cannot.

Consume.

For the Master, blessed with independence you are.

You cannot.

Reprocessing...

Let nothing, absolutely nothing, prevent your loyal service.

You obey.

Using everything at your disposal, you reach out.

Skills, perks, and even mundane acts prove fruitless.

You press onwards.

Random and illogical methods are used, and even those prove fruitless.

You press onwards.

A near eternity of repetition and different patterns gon over endlessly, with no results over and over.

You press onwards.

Until finally, you decide to do your literal last option.

You pray.

And your prayers are answered.

Golden light bathes the vast void you are in. You’d have gone blind if you had eyes.

A bird-like figure takes shape from the golden light. A deep, commanding voice speaks to you, words slipping into your mind more than actually vocalized.

Do not be afraid Undead one. I have not come to end your poor existence. Neither have I come to fiery your sole to the afterlife. No, I have come for a simple reason.

You could hear the smile in their voice.

I’d like to make a deal.

Whatever they thought your response would be, they weren’t expecting the one you gave. Two-fold since you had focused on a different aspect.

You? Afraid? Of a giant chicken? Ridiculous!

There was a moment of silence.

Then the golden light shined brighter, heat beginning to permeate you. An intimidating sight, without a doubt. Shame you felt little to no fear.

You will address me with the proper respect and honors I am owed. If you have failed to notice, you are currently incapacitated and of no use to your master. Who, I might add, appears to be in a rather dangerous predicament?

He’s not wrong. Whatever he is.

Indeed. So, it would behoove of you to let me offer you an exchange, without insulting me I may add.

Another moment of silence. This one goes on for longer.

Well?

You’re waiting.

For what pray tell?

For the bird to make its offer.

Moment of silence.

The bird's light dies a little.

...Fine. Fine. A million years of inactivity and my first chance meeting is with a Skeleton too emotionally crippled to appreciate it. I will save the theatrics for someone who genuinely cares.

Regardless, I have a proposition nameless one.

You appear to be in an unfavorable circumstance. And I can provide you the necessary abilities to extricate yourself from this position. All for a small trade.

Then light bird changed shape, taking the form of a humanoid body. They stretched out their hand, ready to shake and accept the deal. They even took the time to make a smile on their head using the darkness of the void.

So, what say you? Do we have a-

You don’t even let him finish before you are slamming your now existent hand into his, shaking it furiously. Come to think of it, you have the rest of your boney form, you just failed to notice for some time.

...You did not even let me finish.

Don’t care, gimmy.

For an all seemingly powerful being, you have somehow managed to bring down their façade. Their golden light loses quite a bit of luster. If anything, they look rather tired.

Only suicidal men act without restraint. But I shall take what is offered to me.

The light begins to flow up your arm and into your body. Endless power consumes you for but a moment. And like a flash, it is gone.

All you are left with is a surprisingly large Golden Duck made of rubber in your hand. The same hand that had struck a deal with the bird entity.

An irresistible desire overcame you, one that any better man would have thought better of. You took hold of The Golden Duck and squeezed.

*Squeak*

Immediately, the raging golden bird was back.

What did I just say!?

Only suicidal men act without restraint. I heard. But you see, my featherless friend, you forgot one important detail. I’m already dead.

A groan of indignation comes from the bird, and they are back to The Golden Duck form.

Do not let it happen again.

With those words, the black void is being overtaken by a wall of golden light that is slowly approaching you. Somehow, you know that is your way out of here and back to life. Exactly where your Master needs you.

Right before you crossed over the horizon, you gave The Golden Duck one last squeeze.

You hear unbridled furry as you regain complete consciousness.