《Kobold Expansion》43: You can really feel the plot holes.
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Eris leads me out of the reception hall. “Alright. I’ve called a meeting of all the gods to decide who gets this planet. Currently Helios is it’s patron god, but if you can kick his ass then he will release it to you.
“I don’t see how this helps you accomplish your goal of getting a planet to yourself.”
“Did I say I wanted a planet all my own. I mean. I want worshipers and since I gave you a domain within my domain any followers you gain will also grant me power.”
“That’s too amicable of a plan for me to believe you.”
She shrugs. “Then wait for my betrayal. It’ll come after we are the final two incharge of this planet.” Her laugh is annoying. It's the kind of laugh that tells you the person is lying.
Eris kicks open the double glass doors of a boardroom. Twenty gods sit around the table. “Check it out suckers! My chosen ascended to godhood first! Pay up.”
A groan is heard from around the table. A fat buisness man with wings on his headband stands up. “Fine. I’ll withdraw from those two planets. Even though your follower is literally going to burn this one to a crisp.”
“I’ll replant it.”
“Good for you.” He disappears. A man holding a trident speaks up. “Come on Eris, please cut me some slack. None of the modern world worships me anymore. I need these worlds where I am prayed to for safe passage. I’m only the god of the sea and horses.”
Eris laughs. “Tough luck, beat it.”
Poseidon drags his trident with him as he exits the room.
“Is that all this was? A betting game to decide who would own two worlds.” I ask.
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Helios clears his throat. He’s more the sun in a person than a personification of the sun. “It was. You played well. The world is yours, welcome to the pantheon.” He laughs before leaving.
The rest of the board room leaves at that point. It’s just me and Eris. “Is summoning Earthlings to do battle on another world something you always do to decide disputes?”
She laughs. “Yep! This time I got to pick a challenge. Last time aphrodite picked the challenge. She picked “first ones Chosen to get laid wins.” It lasted for 13 years. That’s why I picked a challenge that would only take around 1 year.”
“So you own that world now?”
She nods. “But I’m giving it to you. The bet was for two worlds. I’m lining the pockets of my friends by giving one to you.” She winks.
“I can do what I want with it?”
She nods.
“Oh, let me give you a gift.” she flicks me in the forehead.
[New spell added: Transformation]
“Now when you jump back to your living body you can transform into any shape you want. Even a kobold.” she winks at me and makes an obscene hand gesture.
“I would never. The power dynamic between in fucking someone I control would be all off.”
She just shrugs. “I thought that was why you wanted to free them. So you could fuck them without guilt.”
I shrug. When I touched the arrow of lust they were the only thing I was attracted to. Perhaps I should look more into myself.
Did I become a god just to fuck kobolds?
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