CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Meredith's Flat

I found Marcy by following the smell of freshly brewed coffee. She was sitting at a breakfast bar in a surprisingly modern kitchen which was at odds with the rest of the house.

She saw my surprise as I surveyed the kitchen and shrugged. 'I like cooking. How are you?'

'I'm not sure yet,' I said, as I poured myself a cup of coffee and joined her at the breakfast bar.

She slid a rack of toast toward me. 'It'll take time. You can't expect to adjust overnight.'

'I don't have time. I have to figure this out and fix it. Beatrice and Henry....'

'Ross has sent some of his family north to their estate. They'll be there by now so stop worrying about them. It's time to work on yourself.'

There she went again. Work on me? I took a mouthful of hot strong coffee to give myself time while watching Marcy over the rim.

'Marcy, I don't mean to be rude,' I said lowering the cup to the marble countertop, 'but I don't want to be worked on. I want to go to Meredith's flat and get my things. Then I want to find out where Meredith is and why she got me into all this. Nothing else.'

Marcy sighed, 'Perhaps you're right. At least for now. But Ross is not going to be happy.'

'This has nothing to do with Ross, and I don't care what he thinks.'

She stared at me, obviously annoyed. 'You should, he's the one organizing the protection of your Penningtons after all.'

'And I'm grateful but it's not going to stop me from doing what I think is right.'

Marcy shrugged, 'Okay. So where do you want to start?'

I swallowed my surprise at her easy capitulation and said, 'Well as the Penningtons are safe and, as it was so brutally pointed out to me last night, there is little I can do to help protect them, I want to go to Meredith's flat. I want to be back in my own clothes and I want to see if she left any clue as to where she is. And when I find her I want to....'

'One thing at a time. Meredith's flat it is. I take it you know the address?'

'Yes.'

'Then finish your breakfast and we'll go.'

'Now?'

'Yes, now. I think this is all probably for the best so the sooner we start the better.'

I pushed away my empty coffee cup and swallowed the last of my toast. 'Ready.'

The morning was cool but dry. Marcy had loaned me a thick, sloppy cardigan and I pulled it around me.

'How far to the underground?' I asked as she locked the door and joined me on the pavement fastening her shapeless overcoat.

'Mm, half a mile or so. You cold?'

I stopped tugging at the cardigan, 'No. Not cold. Apprehensive I suppose.'

'Oh?'

'Won't the clinic have Meredith's flat watched?' For some reason, the thought hadn't occurred to me until I stepped out of the security of Marcy's house.

Marcy raised her eyebrows, 'I don't doubt it.'

'Then isn't this dangerous?'

'I thought you wanted to do this?'

'I do, but I don't want to end up in the clinic again!'

'Then we'll have to make sure they don't catch you,' she smiled a lopsided grin and her eyes were full of mischief.

'You have a plan!' I said.

'Do I? Do you?'

I stopped. Marcy continued a few steps before turning to look at me.

'I don't understand.'

'Grace, we are necromancers,' she said as if it were the solution to all of our problems.

I looked quickly around to see if there were anyone within earshot. There wasn't.

'So?'

'What do you think that means?' she continued.

'It means I'm in a shit load of trouble,' I snapped. 'And what's it got to do with not getting caught?'

'Everything, Grace.' She waved me forward, 'Come on.'

I smothered my irritation and joined her. 'Why are you helping me?' I asked. 'Why would you care?'

'How often do you think I get to meet another necromancer? That alone would make me want to help. And Ross asked me to. I think very highly of Ross and, believe me, he rarely asks anyone for help. The fact he's asking this time means there must be a very good reason, even more so if he's involved his family. If he thinks you're worth saving,' she shrugged, 'then so do I.'

'Saving?'

'You must have realized the clinic would never let you go.'

I said nothing. It was something I had not wanted to admit to myself. But she was right. They would never have let me out. And eventually, they would have killed me.

'Are we doing the right thing?' I asked. 'Going to the flat without backup?'

'We aren't defenseless, Grace.'

'But...' I doubled up in shock. Spirits, dozens of them, crowded me vying for attention, demanding to be heard. Shapes swirled around me some like dark curls of smoke. Some as solid as Marcy. Some transparent, misty, ethereal. All were shouting, clamoring for my attention. I clamped my hands to my ears and struggled to shut them out.

Marcy grabbed my arm and guided me back behind the shield and the spirits were gone.

I rounded on her furious, aware there were tears coursing down my face and not caring, feeling as sick and angry as I had ever been. 'What in hell were you thinking?' I yelled. 'You couldn't have warned me?' You didn't think to tell me what was about to happen?'

She was maddeningly calm waiting for my furious yelling to subside. 'I wanted you to feel how powerful you have become. What you felt was raw and uncontrolled and therefore terrifyingly powerful. Your job, Grace, with my help, if you will have me, is to learn to harness that power.'

'Power? What the hell... they are ghosts, spirits, grasping, demanding, hungry, angry, vindictive, dangerous ghosts, Marcy. How in hell is that power?'

'They are energy, raw and untapped. Willing and searching, hungry for recognition and purpose. You can never be rid of them. Going back to ignoring them is no longer an option for you. The clinic has made that impossible. You have to find a way to live amongst them.'

'How can I? You don't know how this feels. How could you? I would rather die than live like that.'

Marcy squared her shoulders. 'I am a necromancer, Grace,' she said with a touch of steel in her voice. 'I know very well what it is you see, hear and feel. But think. This time yesterday you were living amongst them. After a fashion. You had no shield, no help, yet you were...more or less, in control.'

'It wasn't the same. It couldn't have been. I could never....'

'It is no worse now than it was then. And it may even be a little better as the drugs they injected you with may have dissipated somewhat.'

'It's going to get better? When the rest of the drugs are gone I mean, it won't be as bad?'

She shook her head. 'No, I doubt it, not now. The last of the drugs will be almost gone. But the point is you can handle this. You have already proved that.'

I shook my head.

'We can go back to the house if you prefer?'

I glared at her. I hated being manipulated. But we couldn't stand here indefinitely.

'We go to Meredith's flat,' I said through gritted teeth. 'But don't ever do that to me again or I'm gone.' It was an empty threat, at least for the moment. I had nowhere to go and little chance of surviving without help. But I was more determined than ever I would not always be this vulnerable.

'Agreed. Ready?'

I shrugged, 'As I'll ever be.'

'I don't think that's true. You're probably less ready now than you will ever be again...'

I narrowed my eyes.

'... but if I can make a suggestion?'

I nodded.

'Strengthen your aura.'

'What?'

'You have worked with your aura in the past I take it. See it becoming a shield around you. Protecting you.'

I had no idea what she was talking about. I had no more 'worked with my aura' than I had gone mountain climbing. My total incomprehension must have shown on my face.

'Oh, dear. How did you survive? Well, in that case, imagine building a wall around yourself. Make it of anything you like, glass, brick, steel, anything you feel will hinder the spirits from reaching you. Go on, go on,' she said at my blank stare.

I chose bullet-proof glass. After all, I reasoned logically, or maybe illogically, how was I meant to see through brick?

'Done that? Good, now touch it and see a flow of light leave you and enter the wall.'

I reached out and she lowered my hand. 'In your mind, Grace. That's all it takes.'

I ground my teeth then closed my eyes and imagined light streaming from my finger into the glass wall.

'Oh nice. Right, that wall is going to help protect you. You will still be aware and see and hear everything around you but they will no longer be able to overpower you. The more you practice this the stronger your shield will become. Ready?'

'You sure this is going to work?'

'I am. But more importantly, you have to be.'

'I knew there would be a catch.'

'Don't let your shield fall.'

I poured more light into the wall.

'Right,' she tucked my arm under hers, 'let's try that again.'

We stepped forward through the barrier and immediately the spirits clamored for attention. But this time they seemed perplexed by the barrier around me. They pushed up against it determined to reach me, but though the barrier bent this way and that, even bulged toward me in places I was left with a spirit-free zone around me. It wasn't much but it brought blessed relief knowing I had at least that small space I could call my own. I grinned and let out a long breath of relief.

'Better?'

'How? How can that work? It's not real it's just...' the barrier began to melt.

'Not smart, Grace, rebuild.'

I hastily told myself the glass wall was as real as any I had ever seen and it began to stabilize.

'Doubt yourself, doubt your strength or your abilities, doubt the strength of your will and you are finished. Understand?'

I nodded, too busy telling myself how strong my wall was to open my mouth to speak to her.

The journey to Meredith's flat was a blur as I continually worked at my invisible shield. At last, Marcy touched my arm.

'Wait, how far along the street is Meredith's flat?'

I looked down the street trying to get my bearings from the one, brief view I had while getting out of the taxi. It seemed a year ago. Had it really only been ten days? 'Er-mm on the right about a third of the way along. The brick building.

'Okay, let's see who or what they have waiting for us.'

I stepped forward but she pulled me back. 'Not like that! Wait a moment.' She appeared to be checking the crush of ghosts around us. 'There you are,' she said smiling at a ghost who was less transparent than most and who wore a look of deep sadness. The ghost pushed forward and stopped a few feet from her. He wore a long velvet jacket in deep blue with a cascade of lace frills at his throat. Bright red baggy pantaloons ended at his knees in a blue, ribbon garter. His legs from his knees down were encased in white stockings and on his feet were black shoes with overlarge silver buckles. 'Will you do this for us?' Marcy asked.

The ghost nodded.

'You know what we need?'

'You wish to know if there is anyone lying in ambush.'

'Thank you, Ignatius,' she nodded, 'And if so, we will need a distraction.'

Ignatius drifted away. We settled on a wall around the corner and waited. I checked my non-existent, yet very real shield and sent a little more light into it. I had no idea how it did what it did but as long as it did it, I would help it along. The press of ghosts was no longer so urgent. I noticed. They were still there but now they were aware they could no longer reach me they were content to hover around us like moths around a flame.

'Like lost souls around a mediator,' Marcy corrected when I mentioned it to her. 'They wait and hope.'

'Who is, Ignatius? Why would he help us?'

'Ignatius is my Escort.'

I looked at her blankly.

'My buffer if you will and in return I am his sponsor.'

I was not much wiser. 'Sponsor for what? To do what?'

'That is between Ignatius and me. But you really need to find your own Escort, Grace. Or preferably, more than one. It makes life so much more... interesting.'

I was thinking this over when Ignatius returned.

'Only one watcher and he is but a human. An insult to your good-self.'

'But they didn't know it would be me, Ignatius. They thought it would be Grace.'

Ignatius nodded gravely as if that explained everything. I opened my mouth to object.

Marcy put a hand on my arm. 'If you would be so kind, Ignatius, to distract him until we do what we have to?'

Ignatius made the smallest of bows and drifted back toward the flat taking several other ghosts with him.

Marcy grinned at me and her eyes danced in anticipation.

'You're enjoying this aren't you!' I accused.

'Well, yes, now you mention it.'

'How can you...'

'Look.'

I looked down the street as a man stumbled out from behind a line of neatly trimmed leylandii, waving his arms about his head. He sprinted down the street away from us.

'Here we go,' Marcy said. 'Quick now.'

We walked briskly down the street to the front door of Meredith's apartment building.

'I don't suppose you have a key?'

My heart sank, why hadn't I thought of this obvious problem. 'We could ring a few doorbells.'

'Best not. Loni, would you be so good dear?'

A thin wisp of a girl no older than ten and dressed in raggy jeans and pale-blue tee-shirt drifted past us and straight through the door. A moment later the door swung open.

'In you go. Quick now before the neighbors start wondering.'

I stepped through the door into the lobby. The door snicked shut behind us as I led the way up to the third floor.

I knocked on Meredith's door and waited. I had no idea if she would be in or not but it seemed ill-mannered just to walk in without knocking first.

There was no answer.

I turned to Marcy. 'Still no key I'm afraid,' I said.

Loni smiled and walked through the door again. A second later the door clicked open. I knocked again before stepping inside.

'Meredith? Meredith are you.... Oh my god, look at this place.'

It was total devastation. Bookshelves had been emptied and books were spread all over the floor. Furniture was overturned. The kitchen cupboards were turned out and broken crockery crunched beneath our feet. Pictures were torn from the walls, carpets ripped up, drawers turned out.

I ran from one bedroom to the other calling Meredith's name all the while dreading I might find her. What state would she be in if someone could do this to her home? It was with mingled relief and fear I rejoined Marcy in the living room.

'Not here,' I said, leaning against the breakfast bar for support. 'Where on earth is she? Just look at this place! What happened here?'

'I'd say it looks like someone thought you might find something. I doubt very much you will find anything here that will help you find Meredith now.'

'No. But it does at least tell us there was something they didn't want us to find. It also tells us Meredith is in trouble and that whoever did this is most likely involved in her disappearance. Do you think the clinic is behind this?'

Marcy shrugged. 'I have no idea. Though I've heard rumors that Meredith was making waves in the supernatural community in general. She could have upset someone best left alone.'

'What sort of waves?'

'I'm not sure. Maybe it was something to do with the magazine she worked for.'

Meredith had told me she was working on a big story. Marcy could be right. I shivered. 'Let's get out of here.'

'Agreed. Go get your things.'

I stepped over and around the mess and went back to the bedroom Meredith had assigned to me. I walked over to the mattress which had been pulled from the bed and closed the empty wardrobe door. My traveling bag had been tipped out and my clothes and possessions scattered amongst the mess.

I stuffed all the things I could find into my bag, closed the zipper, and followed Marcy back to the door.

'Can you make sure the coast is clear, Loni, dear?'

Loni flipped the multitude of dark plaits over her shoulder, rolled her eyes, and drifted through the door once more. A moment later she was back.

'All clear.'

We left the flat and closed the door.

'Be so good as to lock it again would you, Loni? Thank you.'

At the street door, Loni repeated her check before we left the building.

'I can see how Escorts can be an advantage,' I whispered as we hurried back the way we had come. 'I just don't understand why they would help?'

'Don't you? Can you think of nothing they would want? Why have you blocked them out for so long?'

I thought of the determined way I had always denied I could see ghosts let alone talk to them. 'You would do that?' I asked surprised. 'You would act as a go-between? Between them and the living?'

'Of course. That's our function in life. It's the reason we are what we are. I have limits of course. There are things I would never do. But if I can make someone's afterlife a little easier and often in doing so, by the way, I make someone's life that much more bearable too, then I do it.'

I was stunned. She thought that was our purpose? That there was a reason we were as we were? Like it was all some big plan? And everything was created for a purpose? As if some greater power were shifting us around a cosmic game board?

'Watch your shield, Grace, it is wavering.'

I hurriedly rebuilt my shield and said nothing. I wanted to be back at Marcy's comfortable house, behind the barrier erected by her witchy friends so I could think in peace.