JohnWillStab looked at his stats.

After committing fungal suicide, JohnWillStab and Bonifacius respawned in the nearest town which was conveniently, Duskshire.

Upon committing the crime of existing while undead, John was quickly killed by the guards and carried out to safety by Bonifacius.

Once John respawned, he sat down on the grass, a safe distance from the town.

While John waited for Bonifacius to come back; Bonifacius spoke to the NPC who gave him the mushroom-collecting quest.

After no more than a minute, he could see the XP bar located below his skills increase by a lot, he hovered his mouse over it and confirmed that he was ten percent away from hitting level three.

“Nice…”

A few moments later, Bonifacius left the town, looking happy as ever.

His character performed the “/wave” emote.

“Bonifacius: I have returned!”

John nodded.

“JohnWillStab: So it would seem!”

“Bonifacius: I have acquired yet another quest for us to complete!” he announced as his character pulled out a paper from his non-existent pocket.

Once again, Bonifacius typed out the shortened version of the quest text in the chat.

“Bonifacius: We shall travel into the depths of the forest like before, however this time we shall be on a quest of find a fishman-fisherman, driven mad by the cursed fish!”

“JohnWillStab: How the hell was he driven mad by the fish?!” John demanded imagining an elderly man having a smoke with a fish on the peer as they both listlessly look into the horizon.

“Bonifacius: We shall find out!”

“Bonifacius: Perhaps they are demonic fish? It does say they are cursed!”

John breathed a sigh.

“JohnWillStab: I think you might be onto something… This is Grimwood after all…”

The two travelled down the same cobblestone road as before, turning west and descending down the steep land into the dark forest below.

As they walked, the topic of their conversation changed to that of John’s skills and the game’s combat system.

“Bonifacius: Thou should consider how thou wish to fight thy foe and pick the skills accordingly!”

“JohnWillStab: …”

“JohnWillStab: I mean, I can kick or stab things…”

Bonifacius laughed.

John looked down to his new spell, [Gut Punch].

When he hovered his mouse over it for a few seconds, the name of the spell faded out and was replaced by a black box giving some information about the spell.

“Gut Punch: This spell can be used every thirty seconds, it uses up 25 stamina, aside from dealing 5 damage, it also interrupts any casting the target is using, this includes magic, crafting, eating and other such effects.”

JohnWillStab read over the spell description.

“JohnWillStab: I Just realised the spells have descriptions!” he exclaimed.

“Bonifacius: Indeed, the numbers in bold text represent values that may shift with thy level and equipment!”

“JohnWillStab: I see…” JohnWillStab nodded.

“Bonifacius: Let me see…”

“Bonifacius: With fist as thy secondary class and dagger as the primary, thou should have a gut-punch spell available!”

JohnWillStab raised an eyebrow.

“JohnWillStab: Did you memorise this stuff!?”

Bonifacius laughed.

“Bonifacius: Thou could say I’m something of an expert when it comes to this sort of thing!”

“Bonifacius: I once fought with a powerful guild, alas, tis no longer around…”

As they travelled, the clear water came into view.

It looked pretty shallow and had many large rocks sticking out of its surface.

After a few more minutes of walking they reached the small tent by the water.

In front of the tent sat a fishman holding a fishing rod.

Next to him stood a fire with a large, non-demonic looking fish skewered over it.

The fishman had big, empty eyes and light-green scales.

Bonifacius approached the NPC and clicked on his to trigger the dialogue.

“Bonifacius: Greetings! I have been sent by your brother from Duskshire!” Bonifacius exclaimed.

Typically, the words said by the players to an NPC would be the same, however with the use of advanced commands one could change the default “hello” or “greetings” to a word of their choice.

So, another player could begin dialogue with that NPC as “Yo! I have been sent by your brother from Duskshire!”

Other details like “Goodbye” and “My Name” can be changed, though most don’t bother.

“Mad Fisherman: Leave me be…”

The fisherman breathed a loud sigh.

“Mad Fisherman: Why can’t you people just leave me alone? What do you get out of this? A hat? XP?”

“Wait, XP is a canonical thing in this game?!” Thought John.

“Mad Fisherman: Whatever it is, you can forget about it, I’m not leaving… It’s not safe!”

“Bonifacius: Thou must listen…”

“Bonifacius: The fate of Duskshire depends on thy return! Thy skills as an alchemist are needed!”

This was the first time JohnWillStab heard anything about an alchemist being needed.

“Mad Fisherman: Whatever they want from me, it can’t be more important that what I’m doing here…”

“Mad Fisherman: The demon fish… the water… I must stay here…”

The man breathed a sigh as he continued staring off into the water.

“Bonifacius: Thou must know by now, there are no demon fish in the water!”

“Mad Fisherman: There are… that’s why I cannot go back! Not to mention the… other… thing in the water…”

The dialogue stopped for a while.

“Bonifacius: Hmm… we must figure out how to convince him there are no demon fish within these waters…” Bonifacius explained looking at the quest details.

Quickly, JohnWillStab walked right into the water which was no more than a foot deep.

“JohnWillStab: There…”

After a few seconds the NPC turned away from John and folded his arms.

“JohnWillStab: …”

“Is he pretending he can’t see me?” John thought, dumbfounded.

“Bonifacius: Perhaps the NPC code is broken…”

“JohnWillStab: No, that f#*ker ignored me on purpose…” John said bitterly.

He forced a smile as he stomped over to the NPC only for it to turn away again.

This continued to happed for a while, every time John approached the NPC’s line of sight the old fishman would turn away.

JohnWillStab let out a frustrated cry in the forest with the “/scream” command.

“JohnWillStab: WHAT THE HELL!?” he demanded.

The NPC said nothing; however, the local chat revealed the following detail.

“Mad Fisherman grins.”

If the NPC faced John, he could see that the fishman had a satisfied smirk on his face.

“Bonifacius: Tis quite odd…”

“JohnWillStab: Maybe if we kill him the quest will be complete?” he asked in a state of total desperation.

Bonifacius shook his head.

“Bonifacius: Of course not, we cannot disrespect this old fishman-fisherman’s wishes, even if his actions are inconvenient for us!” he explained, walking up to the fishman who specifically turned away from John and not Bonifacius.

With the use of a command JohnWillStab didn’t know, Bonifacius placed a reassuring hand on the fishman’s shoulder.

“Bonifacius: Tis alright, perhaps there was once a threat within these waters, thou now the time has come to let go, old man,” he said outside of a dialogue menu.

“LET GO OF CLINING TO LIFE YOU OLD FART!” John thought.

The NPC just looked at him blankly.

It’s not like it was a real person you could talk to.

JohnWillStab waited a few more seconds to confirm Bonifacius hasn’t talked the NPC out of being an asshole.

Seeing no effect, he was left with no other choice, John began charging at the old man and using the kick ability to knock him into the water.

“JohnWillStab: THERE!”

“Bonifacius: No! JohnWillStab! He shall drown!”

“JohnWillStab: IT’S A FISHMAN!” he yelled turning back to Bonifacius.

The NPC began flailing its arms around in the ankle-deep water, his head was very obviously sticking out above the water.

“Mad Fisherman: *Gurgling*”

“Bonifacius: I SHALL RESCUE THEE!” he announced as the old man went limp.

Bonifacius fell to his knees as he began playing the “/cry” emote.

“Bonifacius: N-no! We were too slow!”

“He sure is into that roleplay thing…”

JohnWillStab was watching the events unfold with a feeling similar to dread, but sadder.

He hovered his mouse over the NPC and discovered that he was, in fact, alive.

“JohnWillStab: He’s still alive…” he exclaimed pointing a finger at the clearly-faking fishman.

“Bonifacius: Are thou sure?” he asked looking to the NPC.

“Mad Fisherman: *Drowns*”

Bonifacius played the “/mourn” emote which looked identical to the “/cry” emote.

“Bonifacius: He’s dead!”

“JohnWillStab: NO, HE’S NOT!” John exclaimed walking over to the mad fisherman as his health suddenly decreased.

Shocked, he looked down to his character’s feet only to see the solid black fish with a jaw that split in four, each quarter covered in sharp teeth.

Its body was covered in green veins and its fins were long and tarnished.

“JohnWillStab: A DEMON FISH!” he exclaimed, jumping out of the water with a backwards backflip.

That was when John noticed more of them appear, they were invisible until now but they were everywhere.

Before John could say anything else, he was met with the sound of laughter.

“Mad Fisherman: AHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Mad Fisherman: Did you really think this body, the body of a fishman, could drown?!”

Bonifacius gasped.

“Bonifacius: This was all a trap!” he exclaimed.

“JohnWillStab: I KNEW HE WAS FAKING!”

“Mad Fisherman: Thanks to you… I was finally able to take control!” laughed the fishman.

“Control? What does he mean?”

The fishman began to spam the laughing emote for a few seconds as it began to grow, its skin becoming covered in green veins that pulsated with demonic energies.

Bones and flesh slowly came into view as the Fishman was morphed by something within, his new demonic form was a re-skinned undead fishman!

“Mad Fisherman: NOW, I WILL FEED YOUR CORPSES TO MY FISH!” he cried as he let out a loud roar causing the water to become uneasy, it waved and foamed up madly as tendrils of water appeared on the shore, dragging Bonifacius and JohnWillStab into the depths of the ankle-deep river.

“Bonifacius: Fear not, JohnWillStab! We shall defeat this fel imposter!”

“Yeah, you’re level one-hundred…” John thought.

“JohnWillStab: Yeah!”

As soon as the two were dragged into the water, the demonic fish began to surround them, forming a deadly wall, stopping them from leaving the water.

From the shore, the fishman began casting a spell, green light began pooling in his hands as ghostly skull manifested in the air.

Before John could inquire as to their nature, it became evidently clear that they were projectiles.

A barrage of exploding, green skulls came upon him, creating big burst of water where they landed.

Bonifacius cast one of his high-level spells, [Defence Stance].

Around him appeared floating neon shields which blocked the incoming attacks and even moved in to block any projectiles heading towards John.

From the water leapt a fish, its jaws split open and ready to bite a chunk off JohnWillStab as he sliced it mid-air with his dagger.

“JohnWillStab: The fish are pretty weak!” John exclaimed.

“Bonifacius: Tis a low-level quest after all!”

More fish appeared, jumping from the foaming water at John and Bonifacius, since the fish themselves were not projectiles the magic shields didn’t block them.

That said, they posed little to no threat to Bonifacius, John still killed the ones attacking his ally out of a pure sense of obligation.

Even the XP dropped by the fish was negligible.

“Mad Fisherman: NOW, PERISH!”

Bonifacius began casting some sort of ability, he pulled his swords back, practically pointing it at John who kept the fish at bay behind him.

The blade began to glow a white light as the ability was ready to be used.

In a single, swift slash the demonic fishman and any foliage unfortunate enough to be within range were sliced horizontally in two thanks to Bonifacius’ ability, [Severing Slash]

The now-dead foe fell to the ground as the remaining fish faded out of existence.

Dark, almost black blood began to pool under the corpse.

“Bonifacius: This was rather easy after all…”

John nodded.

“JohnWillStab: Well, at least we didn’t get stuck underground this time!”

A few seconds passed as Bonifacius took out the quest page and began reading over it.

“Bonifacius: How strange… it would appear the quest hasn’t been complete…”

“JohnWillStab: …”

“I think I jinxed us…”

“(Dead)Mad Fisherman: You must get away!” the words came from the corpse of the fisherman.

“(Dead)Mad Fisherman: Hurry, before it gets you too!”

The developers never expected anybody to kill him this quickly, so the second phase of the fight would kick in when he reached about half of his health.

“(Dead)Mad Fisherman: It’s… IT’S COMING! RUN!”

“JohnWillStab: HOW IS HE STILL TALKING?!”

The body began floating, as its very shape began to morph back to the normal fishman look.

The body fell down, battered and broken, not to mention split in two, as from within it came what looked like a humanoid made from green water.

“Corrupted Water Spirit: It took far too long to ware his mind away… you have my thanks for speeding up the inevitable!” the humanoid remarked smugly.

“Corrupted Water Spirit: No matter… you’ll do just fine!” it exclaimed as it lunged at JohnWillStab.

Before they could react, the spirit flew right into John’s mouth.

“JohnWillStab: WHAT THE F#$K IS THAT?!”

Suddenly, his character’s head hung low as all his spells became greyed out.

A notification appeared in the centre of John’s screen.

“Your mind and body are being corrupted by the Fishman’s Corrupted Water Spirit; you must resist its control!” read the message.

“Ok… how?” he wondered, before he could ask Bonifacius in the chat, a new window appeared.

Four rows, at the bottom of each was a circle with one of the four directional arrows on it.

“Is this..-”

Suddenly, round orbs began falling from the top of the screen down in a manor very similar to a certain dance-based rhythm game.

As if by pure instinct, JohnWillStab began clicking the arrow keys with great precision as if he was a master of this kind of game.

Up, down, right, right, left, left, down…

As this continued, a small bar on the bottom of the screen began filling up.

“WHAT GENRA IS THIS GAME!?”

“WHY DO I HAVE TO PLAY A RHYTHM GAME TO GET UNPOSESSED!?”

Colourful text kept appeared after every beat he got right.

“Good!”

“Great!”

“Good!”

“Ok!”

That was when JohnWillStab noticed it, this entire time, his character was dancing to the rhythm of his button presses.

John’s face went bright red as he temporarily considered throwing his computer out the window and living out his life as an Amish bear farmer in the snowy tundras of northern Russia, free from the continued embarrassment of the internet and the memories of him dancing like an idiot.

“Bonifacius: Thou are doing great!” Bonifacius exclaimed with a thumbs up.

A single spark of light appeared in the social void of darkness John was inhabiting.

“That’s right! Bonifacius played this game before! This must be a common mechanic in here!”

With newfound confidence, JohnWillStab continued his questionable dance.

He was being cheered on by the ever enthusiastic Bonifacius.

His screen began to trembled as his private chat box was being filled with messages.

“Corrupted Water Spirit: How!?”

“Corrupted Water Spirit: What’s going on!?”

His hand was now in severe pain, JohnWillStab gritted his teeth and sped up, his character’s animations were now too fast to fully appreciate.

Regardless of his speed, John’s precision was only going up.

“Great!”

“Fantastic!”

“Awesome!”

“Great!”

The bar in the bottom only filled up faster and faster.

“Corrupted Water Spirit: STOP!”

“Perfect!”

“Perfect!”

“Perfect!”

The line between having a stroke and dance became blurry if not fully non-existent.

Finally, the bar reached its limit as the window closed, his character erupted into light as he gained a new achievement.

“Achievement Complete: Carpal Tunnel!”

From John’s mouth the water elemental began to escape, desperately it began clawing free only for the unexpected to happen.

A simple window opened.

“What will you do now?”

There were two options.

“Let it go,”

“Give it a taste of its own medicine…”

John didn’t hesitate for even a second as he chose the latter option.

“Corrupted Water Spirit: W-Wait!”

JohnWillStab pulled the humanoid from his mouth and shoved his hand into their amorphous face.

“Corrupted Water Spirit: H-HOLD ON!”

“JohnWillStab: HERE I COME!”

This wasn’t a pre-scripted message, John simply felt he needed to say something.

Next, he shoved his foot into the monster, then the other arm, until he was now inside of the water spirit’s body.

Another window appeared, this time, JohnWillStab didn’t wait for the circles to fall, he was responsible for spawning them.

“Corrupted Water Spirit: Oh no…” it muttered.

He tapped his arrow keys at an ungodly speed, the NPC never stood a chance of keeping up.

The spirit broke into dance, a collection of swings, twists, jumps and bends more energetic than someone with a pacemaker getting hit by lightning.

The small bar in the bottom of the screen never even stood a chance of being filled in against John’s relentless barrage.

“Corrupted Water Spirit: STOP IT!”

The spirit began performing several elaborate flips and twirls.

The creature fell to its knees as its upper torso kept dancing.

John only grinned a sadistic smile as he unleashed another wave of attacks, at this point there were no individual circles, only tightly-packed columns of beats.

It didn’t even take a minute for the water elemental to fail.

“Corrupted Water Spirit: I SURRENDER!” the water spirit collapsed to the ground, bursting into a bubbling shape that still continued dancing regardless.

“Corrupted Water Spirit: I’m sorry! I swear this won’t happen again!”

Once again, an option appeared for John.

“What do you wish to do?”

There three options.

“Mercy,”

“Kill it,”

“ROUND TWO, BABY!”

After a few seconds of contemplation, John breathed a sigh and selected the “mercy” option.

John crawled out of the water spirit much to its relief.

The spirit’s body morphed into a more shapeless blob of water, without saying anything it leapt into the water.

It never respawned after that day, some blame it on hackers, other on a bug but some, some think the shame of dancing like an idiot and the guilt of putting others through the same was what drove the creature to change its ways.

It was probably a bug.

“Bonifacius: Thou have done great! We have almost completed the quest!”

“JohnWillStab: Yeah… though the whole dancing minigame was weird…” he remarked still a little embarrassed.

“Bonifacius: Dancing minigame? What are thou talking about?”

“Bonifacius: I thought thou burst into dance upon thy defeat of the spirit and continued to dance through its unexpected return!”

“JohnWillStab: …”

John once again considered abandoning this game and his reputation with it.

“Bonifacius: However, what thou said does make sense, there are many ‘mini games’ within the game to represent many mechanics!”

“JohnWillStab: EXACTLY!” he cried sensing his opportunity at redemption.

“JohnWillStab: It makes sense!”

Bonifacius nodded.

“Bonifacius: Indeed!”

John breathed a sigh of relief.

“JohnWillStab: So, what now?” he asked, he looked over to the corpse of the fishman fisherman.

Bonifacius looked at the quest instructions, the last step to completion was revealed.

“Bonifacius: Alright! The final step is quite simple!”

“Bonifacius: We must escort the fishman to the village!”

“JohnWillStab: …”

“Bonifacius: …”

John turned to face Bonifacius.

“JohnWillStab: Can’t we wait for him to respawn?”

“Bonifacius: Even if the NPC does respawn, we will be unable to see it until the quest is complete!” he explained.

“JohnWillStab: Well, s#%t… what now?”

“Bonifacius: Fear not, friend! I have discovered a solution for this problem long ago!”

Bonifacius walked over to the corpse and picked the upper half up.

He then walked up to the legs and picked them up as well, he carried them over his other shoulder.

“I’m not even going to question this…” John thought

Bonifacius and JohnWillStab headed back up the to the town, they returned the quest earning JohnWillStab another level.

He was now level three.

“Strength: 5”

“Athletics: 4”

“Dexterity: 3”

“Magic: 1”

“Intelligence: 2”

“Luck: 1”

“Stamina: 2”

“Perception: 3”

“Charisma: 1”

“Weapon Skills: 4”

As this happened, a new spell appeared in his skill-list, [Dagger Throw]

“Dagger Throw: your melee weapon will be thrown at the enemy, the thrown weapon will become unusable for the duration of its flight, upon hitting a target or running out of time the weapon will teleport back to the user! For players dual-wielding weapons, only one weapon is thrown per use.”

He turned to a nearby tree and selected the ability, as expected his generic-looking dagger flew out, stabbing into a tree, he used the ability again causing the second dagger to be thrown.

Both blades pierced the thick bark of the tree, causing green sap to pour out.

Moments later the daggers disappeared with a puff of smoke and reappeared in John’s hands.

“This seems cool…”

As John spend a minute or so practicing his dagger-throwing against an innocent tree something odd happened.

A solid blue circle appeared in the ground, it looked like a puddle of opaque water.