Lute’s hand hovered over the book, close but not really touching it, as he slowly said.

— Just a collection of stories about the Goddess. The usual fairytale-like stuff.

Asri looked at him, before saying.

— It seems like it would be more fun to read than the usual scripture you carry around.

— It’s for children. There are exaggerations everywhere.

— Aren’t you just slightly bigger than a child too? You don’t seem to enjoy those thick books about the Goddess’ teachings either.

— ... I just want to see what exactly is it all about. The faith, the teachings, that sort of stuff. Don’t you think about what they are teaching you here too?

— Well... it was so much to take in when I first came. I prayed to the Goddess with my parents too, but it’s a lot more serious here. A way of life, a way of thinking? To be honest, I think it’s just too much to memorize!

Asri thought about what they would be tested for the exam tomorrow and shuddered for a bit. The last and final exam. She had been preparing well but the amount of stuff to remember still daunted her when she thought about it.

Lute seemed to think a bit, before he started again.

— They told us to find our “fate”, the one thing that guides us regardless of what happens to us in life. The Goddess simply overlooks our fates, trying to protect the fate of the world and give everyone the best path possible. “Fate is unseen, all-around and omnipotent.”. We are told to find it, to take it, but never to fight it.

He looked conflicted with himself as he continued.

— But how can it be the best path unless it’s decided by yourself? What happens when your fate turns out to be something you don’t want?

She let her thoughts wander at that. Honestly, she hadn’t put that much thought into it. Praying to the Goddess had always felt like something to give herself peace of mind, rather than something to live by. But she was in a temple, if not the biggest temple of Fate in the country. It was a bit amazing that even a servant was thinking this much about it.

She wanted to be the Chosen Star because she wanted to help people. It had always made her happy, all the way to her little toes, when she was able to help someone in some way. It was a sort of salvation to her, and it was more important that she could help someone rather than follow the strict teachings of a religion. She knew it was not something she could just say outloud as a candidate for the Chosen Star, the very representative of the faith of Fate, but she felt that Lute would understand. So she said, after a moment of silence.

— I... if my fate isn’t to help people, then I don’t want to accept it. If the fate is someone in front of me is to suffer while I can help, I won’t let that happen.

He looked at her, almost unsurprised at her declaration. His eyes shifted around for a bit, and she knew that he was making sure no one was around. Then he replied, the chuckle evident in his voice.

— Why are you telling me this? What if I...

— I know you won’t!

He was always a careful person, but that was not the only reason she felt particularly safe around him. Perhaps it was the way they talked, the way he acted all the time they’d known each other, but she trusted him. So she continued, hesitantly at first.

— I just... I know I should be following the teachings. I’m not saying things like I am going to fight the fate the Goddess has given me...

He laughed a bit at this, and she continued, feeling some sort of fervor rising within her as she sorted out her thoughts.

— ... But who’s to say what I want to do isn’t part of my given fate? Maybe resisting what looks like it’s fate, is part of fate itself. I am simply following my fate, even if it looks like I am going against what others think should be my fate... I think I just confused both of us.

He laughed harder at this, the chuckle rippling out of him almost like he was purring. She tried to get herself out of thinking about the way his hair was shaking along with his chest, and looked at the book in his lap instead. He sounded a bit quieter as he said.

— I get you. Who’s to say resisting isn’t our fate?

It was then quiet. A comfortable kind of quiet, the tall blades of glass in the garden swaying gently with the wind. She could almost smell the sunlight, the scent of an afternoon not too hot nor too cold, and it was unmistakably more relaxing than the normal air further inside the temple. She could never tell if it was a temple thing, or because Lute was here. It was a strange thing to consider, but she thought it could be possible anyway. The garden had always felt a bit more abandoned and less lively when she was not meeting him here.

Then she was reminded of something, and so turned to ask.

— I almost forgot. Didn’t you say you were gonna show me your new piece today?

His eyes widened just a little bit, and she found it just a bit cute. He definitely told her to come so he could show her the new song he learnt to play on the flute. He had found it discarded in a dusty corner of the storage room, and decided to give it a try. She smiled as she thought back about it; he had said something about not wanting to waste it, but she could see the curious gleam in his eyes. He ended up really liking it, and even came up with some short melodies of his own. It was so nice to listen to, and he looked like he enjoyed it a lot too, like he was at peace. It reminded her of when he was playing with the stray cat that came to them once in a while; he kept denying it but she would never forget the tiny smile that came up when his hand was petting the cat’s head. She would also not forget how his hand looked rougher than it had seemed from afar, and how she had wanted to try touching it, but that’s not relevant here.

Anyway, Lute definitely forgot about the new song, and now he was probably unsure about showing it, like he always was. She had asked if he was nervous before, and his lips had tightened before taking out the flute. She gave him a look, and he seemed to resign as he took out the flute before she could ask the magic question.

His hands on the flute, he looked away for a bit before saying, really softly this time:

— I tried making a whole song this time... It’s silly but... I’m just gonna play it.

Then he started playing.

Now, Asri was not going to demean his song by trying to explain it with her limited vocabulary, but she liked it. It sounded like a quiet self-reflection, a sense of sadness that was quickly taken over by light-hearted optimism. Nothing too passionate, nothing over the top. She definitely did not miss the way he was smiling, albeit a bit melancholically, with his eyes. She thought he really looked beautiful, a lot more than his usual self, when he was playing music.

The song came to an end. It seemed to have been absorbed by the wind around them, the grass swaying just a bit slower than before. Lute’s hands were still on the flute, his eyes open but slightly dazed as if he wasn’t sure if the music was over or not. Then, almost like the whole thing was just an illusion, he put down the flute and turned to look at her, waiting for her first word.

She suddenly felt an urge to look away. He had always looked a bit uncaring, like he was unconcerned with everything, like he was always thinking about something beyond the conversation. She didn’t mind that; he was always listening even though he looked like he wasn’t, and at one point she realized that was just how he normally looked. That was why she liked the way his eyes were warm with the cat, when he was playing the flute, when he chuckled at something she said. But just then, he looked at her with something almost intense in his eyes.

Perhaps because it was his first song. There was something in her that was decidedly happy at the thought that she might be the first, if not the only one, that he was showing this to.

And so she smiled. Broke into a giggle, to be more precise. He looked a bit strangely at her, as she started talking.

— Hehe... I just... It was good, Lute. It was really good! I love it. I think you have a gift for music!

He still looked at her. Asri thought that this must be his look of slacked-jaw wonder. Lute just wasn’t that expressive, but she could definitely tell that he was a bit dazed right now.

Then he snapped out of it and looked away a bit, his hand gripping the flute just a bit tighter. When he turned back again, he didn’t look happy per se... but there was a light in his eyes that kinda make Asri happy too. He said, faking a cough.

— Ahem... thanks. I am glad it turned out well.

— You are being too humble; that was incredible! You’ve started playing this for like, a month or so at most? It was a beautiful song.

— It’s really not that... Well... I didn’t think I would... I mean it would be so good either.

— What are you gonna call it? The song I mean.

— ... I don’t know yet. I came up with it just a couple days ago, didn’t think I could actually finish it.

— But you did! Hehe, I’ve got such a talented friend!!

— ... I wouldn’t say talented... Anyway, you still got time to be here with me when your exam is tomorrow?

Asri winced a bit at this, but she pondered a bit before saying.

— ... Well, I am worried, but I have done my preparation. If it was my fate to be the Star, then just trying my best tomorrow would be enough.

— Then I sure hope it isn’t your fate.

— But I could get to be the Star! The Chosen Star, the light that brings joy and peace to the many people that visit the temple every day! It sounds like the perfect place for me.

Lute didn’t reply; he just put away his flute and was thinking something again, his eyes glued to the grass near his feet. Then, conflict evident on his face, he turned to her again, and began.

— Asri, listen, the truth is...

The reluctance was heavy in his voice, but so was resolution. However, before he could get to what he wanted to say, a high-pitched voice called out to her, seemingly breaking whatever reverie they had between them in the garden.

— Hey, idiot! We are gathering at the study room!

She turned her head and saw the annoyed figure of Miru on the corridor.

— You don’t have to wait for me!

Then she looked at Lute again, silently urging him to finish what he wanted to say. But whatever it was that tipped the scale in Lute’s heart to decide to tell her something at the moment was gone; he was back to looking unconcerned again. His eyes glazed with something indecipherable, Lute told her to go and they could meet up later. Just like how the moment they had could not come back, she let it go knowing she would know of it eventually if it was meant to be anyway. She also could never make him say what he did not want to say.

When she got back to the corridor, surprisingly Miru was still there. They left, and Asri missed the way Miru glanced uncertainly, even narrowing her eyes, at the back garden.