《B's Grand Adventure》Chapter Nine: Supplies for the Soul
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B fought tooth and nail to stay in the hotel to make the documents as perfect as he could, but Lola and Mothman insisted that they go out and get supplies before they have to travel again. What got B to leave the messaging machine was the threat that they wouldn’t bring back food if he didn’t.
The afternoon sun burned B’s eyes when he first walked out of the hotel room with Mothman and Lola. B thought that looking at a screen that lights up wouldn’t be that bad for his eyes especially if the sun was like this. They walked with a crowd to a little parking lot filled with small food vendors. Mothman gave them all some change to pick out what they wanted. B couldn’t read the signs very well because of the sun’s glare so he ended up just ordering what the last guy ordered and hoped it was good.
It was.
“Ok, so,” started Lola, “Let’s list out what we need and how much money we’ve got.”
“I need a new hat,” B said, squinting at her and her byproduct tube on a bun that she was eating.
“Ok new clothes for B. I think something died in their shirt while we were in the desert,” Lola said with a laugh. “ I need more ammo.”
“That’s probably my binder you're smelling,” B said, not finding it that funny. “I haven’t changed it in like a week.”
Lola looked concerned.
“Well if it’s anything like a bra, that’s gotta hurt after a while. Come on. We’re getting you a new one.” Lola said, finishing her food in an odd, huge bite.
“I'm going to need to get more money,” Mothman said flatly as he poked at the last of his green soup with his long slice of bread.
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Mothman had to lead them to the side of the Scrubs where B and Lola could shop. Lola practically announced herself in every shop location she went to asking for a binder for B, making both the guys feel weird and awkward. Every shop they went to was stuffy and dimly lit. Though he’s never been there before, he could only imagine what it would be like to shop in MidTown. The glass would let in so much more sun, and it would be easier to buy clothes there.
When they finally found a shop that had one, B wanted to take the first binder they found, but Lola grabbed three sizes for B to try on.
“Why are you doing this?” Hissed B as Lola ushered him into a dressing room.
“What?” She said as if playing dumb.
“This whole… Old world, overbearing- thing?” B asked with anger in his voice.
“She does this to everyone, don’t feel special,” Mothman called to them from the middle of the store.
“I’ve always been the ‘mom’ of the group. I’ve got to live up to the title.” She said with a shrug before excitedly ushering B into the dressing room with the binders.
B stood in the dressing room for a moment before letting the comment sink in. He slowly changed out of his shirt and binder and tried on the other ones while he became lost in thought.
His own mom didn’t do these things for him. He had to make his own binder when he decided to start going by B. Capital B was the first letter he memorized in binary code and he wrote his name in binary every chance he got. He thought the whole binary thing was fitting for himself and his thoughts on gender. It’s a thing you can manipulate. He also thought he was still remembering his mom and his dead name in a way by using binary, the code that she taught him. According to the inactions of his mother, B got the feeling that he was-
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There was a knock on the dressing room door, interrupting his thoughts.
“Hey B! I have some things that I think you might like if you want to try them on,” Lola said in a sing-song voice.
B had been staring in the mirror without a top on for some time now. He hadn’t noticed but his eyes were puffy and red and there were streams of wetness coming down his cheeks.
“O-Okay,” B said as he quickly covered himself and opened the curtain to the dressing room enough for his head to stick out.
“Here. I thought you’d like another poncho and there are some hats on the- are you crying?” Lola asked suddenly, all her excitement from shopping leaving her face.
“What’s wrong?” She asked in a hushed voice, pushing her way into the dressing room.
“I just realized that I’m my mom’s least favorite child,” he said softly, “and that I’m just getting her so she can take care of Sue, Jenny, Phil, and Darlene.”
“What? Where is this coming from- no, what do you mean?” Lola asked, worried.
“She never did things like you did for me just now. Ever since I came out, Mom just ignored me. We suddenly had nothing to talk about anymore, not even computers. She was never that cold to me before. Only when I was a girl, and she still only shops with the girls. Me and Phil had to shop with dad, which is ok, but not the same, and now I can’t even shop with Phil and Dad-” B’s breath hitched. “I killed my mom’s husband. How can she ever love me now?”
“Oh shit… It’s all hitting you now,” Lola said, giving a deep, heavy sigh.
“First of all, you didn’t pull the trigger. That big, overgrown, science, experiment, baby, half-fae did.” She said with such fire in her voice that made B laugh a little between sobs.
“Second of all, there is no way a good mom can stop loving you for you changing how you want to be called and how you dress. You’re still you, right? There’s no changing that. Not even a snakey, komodo, dragon, thingy trying to pin blame on you for shit that you didn’t do,” Lola said with a sympathetic smile which slowly turned into a grimace.
“Ug I’m bad at these things for a group mom,” She admitted.
“I think I get what you're trying to say,” B said.
“Let me try again anyways. She loves you and I know that because you wouldn’t be trying to fix this mess. You’re going to make sure the rest of your family’s going to be ok. Being such a spoiled kid that can learn to adapt so quickly to such a shitty situation like you did… Fuck I did it again.” She hissed.
“Don’t worry I got it this time,” B said with a laugh.
“You sure?” She asked, “I can always try again?”
“No. I think I’ll be ok now,” B said.
Lola smiled and pat B hard on the back.
“Cool. Try this on and pick out a hat in the back once you’re done. I really think you’ll like them.” Lola said, then placed a rusted wire hanger with a poncho and green handkerchief on it.
B smiled and then wondered how she knew he was medium in poncho sizes.
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