SO YOU WANT TO BE AN EBT, HUH?

Hi, I'm Bishop, Bishop Riley and this is how I first started out being an EBT. I'll tell you what that stands for later. My life changed one day so drastically that it will never be the same again. Before the change, I was just a high schooler from a small town. Not trying to brag or anything but I was one of the smartest people in my whole town. I'm kinda kinda short, only being 5’3 and I was around average weight for a 17 year old. I had my blonde hair cut short and with my eyes being kinda bluish gray I thought I was immensely handsome, although not everyone agreed with me.

Being as smart as I am I have a passion for reading. My dad would get mad at me cause I read too much. I wasn't an outsider by no means, I was a social butterfly. Loved talking and talking and even more talking. Although that kinda changed later on, but no matter what I always had my best friend by my side.

She was unlike any other, with cold eyes that showed hate and malice at even the simplest of provokes and a small smile that proved she was intelligent. Not only intelligent but also extremely beautiful. Yup, she's the greatest lizard anybody could ask for!

………………...

What?! You thought I was talking about a person? They aren't good to keep around. You're more likely to die from a person than from a lizard…….. I thought like that for a long time until I was proven wrong.

Well anyways, her name was Nessie, you know like the Lochness monster? Even if you don't I thought it was clever! She was a bright yellow bearded dragon and I took her everywhere with me. We were tight! That bond only got closer on a very important day in both of our lives. And when the time came for our lives to change I was sitting on the toilet, taking a shit.

In an old trailer, my grandma's trailer to be exact, is where I found out my life would change. It wasn't the cleanest place and it definitely didn't smell the best. It ranked of cats and oldness. I can still remember the rotten stench of the kitty litter in the bathroom.

I was sitting on the toilet, just scrolling through Facebook, when a brochure just popped up outta nowhere. At first I was too shocked to do anything. I even dropped my phone and stopped pooping! That brochure appearing out of thin air was the greatest thing to happen to my life. I didn't have a bad life, just a boring one. Filled with books and school and some people and chores and getting yelled at by mom and dad. My grandma's was the place to relax.

As I picked up my phone and resumed my poop, my eyes lingered on the front of the brochure where it read, “So You Want To Be An EBT, Huh?”

I read the front of it again and again trying to decipher what the hell a EBT was. I put my phone down and plucked up the courage to pick up the brochure. When I picked it up screen flew out right in front of my face! I screamed and fell off the toilet!

“Bishop, you ok honey?”

“Yes grandma I'm fine. A rat just scared me.”

“He’s probably in there watching porn and beat it too hard.” My grandpa chipped in.

I of course was too shocked to retaliate with a comeback because of what the screen said.

[Do you want to be an EBT? Say yes or no]

“What’s an EBT” I said low enough so my grandparents couldn't hear me.

[Do you want to be an EBT? Say yes or no]

No changes to the screen showed. I stood up, wiped my ass, pulled my pants up and walked around it. The screen moved with me!!! I was able to stick my hand through it and I even tried throwing things at it. It wouldn't go away! It just stood there saying…...

[Do you want to be an EBT? Say yes or no]

To appease this screen I finally said “No!”

[Too late, you've already been selected to be part of the first million EBTs on Earth]

"………......."

I stood there dumbfounded. I really didn't have a choice! I was mad. I picked up the brochure and the screen changed.

[Go to page one of brochure and read to page two, and follow instructions for your first contracting.]

I open to page one of “So You Want To Be An EBT, Huh?” And it changed my life.