I watched in silent dread as the adventurers made short work of my wisps, and could have cried when they burned the bugs. After their priest blessed them they all but strolled through the rest of the dungeon. The bugs literally couldn’t touch them, and the light rays of the wisps simply did nothing. It was mental torture watching them walk slowly and cautiously toward my core. Meanwhile the stupid dragon was sitting in the middle of the room. Nix alternated between preening and glaring at the spider (whom I had named Fred) invading his space.

“Ugly spider, not shinies!” Nix put his outrage into words.

Never had I before wished so much that I had temples to rub. The most unfair thing about my new existence was that I could still get headaches. “I don’t have enough mana,” I said. “It took all the mana I gathered from eating the bars and stone just to make the wisps and Fred. It’ll be hours before I have anything left to make shinies with.”

“I bring adventurers, you give shinies!” The little dragon stamped his foot for emphasis.

I ground mental teeth in frustration. Why, why, why did this happen? I’m a genius! Unparalleled in my field! I achieved immortality! All so a little lizard with wings could get me killed almost immediately?! I WOULD NOT HAVE IT!

“No.” I said emphatically.

Nix looked shocked, like it had never occurred to him that he wouldn’t get what he wanted. He sat back on his haunches and stared up at me. “No?” He echoed, like he was trying to wrap his head around the statement.

“No.” I reaffirmed.

“You my dungeon! YOU MAKE SHINIES!” He shouted in his shrill and winy voice.

“No, you are my dragon. I will do no such thing until you start pulling your weight.” I declared with the force of absolute law.

“I’S NOT FAT!” He retorted, somehow managing to make his saurian face look offended. I could have slapped him, or myself, it was a tossup at this point.

“No, I mean that-” a polite cough cut me off.

“Is uh… this a bad time?” I turned my vision to stare at the entrance to my core room. I had forgotten all about the adventurers. Bother.

“Because we could… come back?” the wizard continued.

“You just had to ruin it Jake.” Said the woman, who was snacking on a piece of mystery jerky.

The priest snorted. “Like hells we’re going to wait and come back later! I want some gods damned answers!”

The warrior remained silent, I’m certain he thought he was being stoic, or something.

“My Dungeon!” Screeched nix. “Not yous, mine!” He reared back and breathed sparks at the group. The woman smiled and chewed on more jerky. The priest looked offended, the warrior continued trying for stoic, and the wizard just looked embarrassed, for us, I was sure.

“Uh… yes, your dungeon…” The wizard agreed.

“NO I AM NOT!” I shouted at them.

The woman snorted and pulled out some nuts she began to munch on. I found myself hoping she choked, how dare she come into my dungeon and laugh at my expense?! The priest wasn’t any better, he was eying my gem like it was either utter trash or incalculably valuable, and he couldn’t decide which. The warrior’s stoicism act was beginning to crack, he now looked like a man trying to figure out exactly what to do about a situation he had no hope of resolving. The wizard continued to look embarrassed. Didn’t I have some kind of guardian I should be employing against them? I looked around and found Fred on the ceiling, he shrugged at me. HE. SHRUGGED. AT. ME. I was his creator and he’s over there shrugging like ‘what do you want me to do?’ Dammit Fred, you had one job!

The silence stretched between the six of us, well seven, if you include Fred. Finally Jake spoke up once more. “So,” he began tentatively. “Um.. just to be clear, you are a dungeon, correct?”

I made an audible sighing sound. “Yes, I am a dungeon.” I admitted, taking small satisfaction in knowing that I’d shattered the priest’s illusions of dungeons being pure myth. I expected Awe, Excitement, maybe even an attempt to steal my core.

Instead the priest said. “Well what the hell do we do now?” The others paused and looked between themselves.

“Well traditionally,” I began. “You would build some kind of settlement around the newly formed dungeon and farm it for treasure.”

“What treasure? All we’ve seen are bugs and little motes of light.” The priest said derisively.

“I’m working on it!” I said frantically, I could see the other three were skeptical as well. “I’ve not exactly had a lot of time, I mean my only real defender is Fred.”

“Who?” The woman asked.

“On the Ceiling.” I responded.

They looked up. Fred looked down. The warrior screamed. The woman put an arrow in Fred’s eye faster than I could process. Fred died with a horrendous screech.

“And now you’ve killed him, good job.” I muttered as the body fell to the ground with a wet plop. It sat there for a moment and then dissolved. Nix chortled gleefully.

“Who the hell keeps giant spiders?!” The priest exclaimed as the warrior hunkered down behind his shield, the woman was saying something to him. The wizard now looked embarrassed for them.

“Francis and Lila have had some bad run ins with Giant Arachnids. Sorry about… Fred.” Jake said.

“Don’t tell the sentient rock sorry!” Berated the priest. “It just dropped a giant spider on us! We should smash the damn thing and be done with it.”

Jake, for his part, looked horrified. “It’s the first dungeon core in over a century, and you want to break it?!” He said aghast.

“It. Tried. To. Kill. Us.” The priest said each word slowly, clearly, and with punctuation. A rare skill that last one.

“I did no such thing! Fred was minding his own business when your friend with the bow shot him!” I rebutted.

The priest opened his mouth to say something and then bellowed in pain and hopped back, his shoe was missing a chunk and there appeared to be blood. Nix growled up at him, leather hanging from his jaws. “MY CORE! NO BREAK!” He shouted at the priest, who was coming up with some very colorful phrases. I could have cheered; my dragon problem had just solved itself.

“You little shit!” The priest yelled, lifting his mace and bringing it down at Nix, who, to my dismay, deftly dodged. He then opened his mouth and spat sparks at the priest, it didn’t do anything of note. Then an armored hand grabbed the priest’s arm.

“Hugo, stop.” Said the warrior, still looking pale but now back on his feet.

“It bit me!” Hugo screamed back.

“You were threatening the core, of course it bit you.” Lila retorted. “The damn thing seems to think it owns it.”

Hugo fumed but, seeing his allies against his course of action, backed down. I gave a mental raspberry at the loss of a perfect opportunity.

“I have a name you know.” I said snippily. “It’s Norbrant, not that any of you asked. Or introduced yourselves. And don’t bother now, I’ve already figured them out.”

Jake shuffled awkwardly, hugo sneered, Lila looked thoughtful, and Francis continued to look pale; Apparently his fear of giant spiders was no joke. Nix prowled possessively under my core. Fred was still dead.

Finally Francis spoke, his voice shaky, but slowly regaining strength. “Why should we let you live? Dungeons are places that trick people into coming inside so that they can kill them, that’s what Jake said anyway.”

“I didn’t quite say that, but close.” Jake interjected. Nix growled again but wisely decided to stay away from the party.

I was flabbergasted, in my age dungeons had been common, the reasons for keeping them were well known and accepted, yet here I was being asked to defend myself.

“Well.” I began. “That is to say… Dungeons don’t kill people. I mean, they do, but not directly. People die because they take too many risks, or get unlucky, dungeons don’t send their creatures outside their confines, the can’t mostly. So people have to willingly and knowingly enter, accepting that death is a possibility.” I explained.

“That sounds a lot like an excuse.” Hugo declared.

Jake looked at him, and then at Lila and Francis, both of whom looked ambivalent. “It has a point. If people know what this place is, and what to expect, they’re responsible for their own actions after that. Choosing to enter is accepting there’s risk. It’s like dallying with the dockside doxies, odds are you’ll catch something, but some of us choose to do it anyway.” His eyes slid back to Hugo who went red in the face. Francis, who was looking much better now, managed, barely, to prevent cracking a smile. Lila was grinning again.

“I demand a vote.” Hugo snarled. “And my vote is that we kill it.”

The others all paused, looking at the florid priest, then they reluctantly nodded. “You do recognize this is your one vote call for the month, right?” Lila asked. Hugo just glowered.

“My vote is against.” Jake said without hesitation.

Francis and Lila both pondered. I didn’t interrupt, at this moment I could sway them against me just as easily as for me. For his part Nix also stayed silent, though he continued to prowl and growl. Apparently he had some faculties that worked.

“I vote against.” Lila finally said. “Norbrant has, so far, done nothing but defend himself against our intrusion.

That left Francis who looked between my gem and Hugo, before finally speaking. “I abstain.” He said finally. Hugo did not look pleased. In a huff the priest turned and stamped up the stairs, I silently hoped he’d slip.

Francis watched him go, then turned back. “I have a condition though.” He said.

I knew what was coming. “No more giant spiders, got it.” I said.

He nodded, and then followed Hugo.

Lila and Jake looked at the two and then up at my core. “I have so many questions.” Jake said. Lila nodded.

“And I have a lot of answers, but I’m not giving them out for free.” I said.

Jake frowned and this time Lila spoke. “So you’re open to bargaining.” She said confidently.

“No bargains. Terms. I will provide one answer each time you reach my core, with a minimum wait time of one month between each question.” I stated.

Lila opened her mouth, but Jake beat her to the punch. “Fine, but.” He held up a finger. “We want the castle.” Lila looked at him like he was crazy, but I understood what he was up to.

“Stewardship.” I shot back. “In my name.”

“So long as your monsters, and treasures, stay in the lower levels.” He rebutted.

“Done.” I said.

“Good. Now my first question, how can you have so few defenders when there’s so much mana down here?” He asked, looking genuinely puzzled.

“This? This level of mana is quite weak, thin as broth really. I’m pulling it in as fast as I can and still only gaining a fraction of my capacity per hour.” I explained.

Jake looked shocked. “But this is a higher density than everywhere except Leys and nodes, how much thicker could it possibly get?”

“That would be a good question for next time.” I said, chortling internally at the look on Jake’s face.

He sighed and finally nodded. Then Lila spoke. “So how does mana work in dungeons?” She asked with a grin.

“Again, a good question for next time.” I repeated.

“Yeah, for him, I didn’t ask a question yet, and you never said the deal only applied to Jake.” She responded quickly.

I considered for a moment. I hand’t actually specified that it only applied to Jake, it had been implied though. Still, expanding it to one question per visitor couldn’t hurt. Also, I really needed them to like me.

“Fine.” I said. She grinned victoriously. “Dungeons feed on mana, they do so by drawing it to their core, much like a lodestone draws iron although it’s a conscious effort. The stronger the core the more mana it can draw to itself. Dungeon Cores have what you might call an ‘innate resistance’ to mana, it prevents them from being flooded and destroyed by ‘over-eating’. This resistance increases as the core grows, so a higher density of mana is required. When living creatures die, they create what you might call an ‘overpressure’ in the mana, that forces more into a core. Such spikes allow much faster feeding which allows the core to do more, or to grow faster.” I said, explaining in detail. Again, I wanted them to like me.

Jake had, at this point, pulled out a small journal and was writing everything I’d said down. “Fascinating.” He looked excited, and then his face fell. “But if the mana gets too dense people will start to get Mana poisoning, I won’t be able to reach your core!” He glared up at me.

I sighed internally, technically it hadn’t been a question; I could answer without making myself a liar. “Fine, this one is for free, seeing as how you’ll need it and all.” I relented. “You mentioned increasing affinities earlier. You do so by staying in a high mana area for a short time and absorbing the mana in order to increase your ability to handle it.” Jake nodded as I said that. “Well, Dungeon mana is no different, it has a mana alignment, mine is Light as you might have noticed, and thus attracts mana of that type. People who spend time in the dungeon can both naturally and passively absorb the mana a dungeon pulls toward itself and increase their affinity. This of course allows them to delve deeper.”

Jake, still writing got a perplexed look. “Actively absorb mana? I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. Augh, you’re going to make me wait for the answer aren’t you?!”

“Yup!” I said, a grin in my voice and a sparkle on my facets. “I already gave you a freebie, no more until your next visit.”

He huffed, and Lila looked thoughtful. Time to bait the hook. “Well… I suppose I could answer a few more. If you did something for me.” I said thoughtfully.

Jake immediately perked up, Lila’s thoughtful look turned into one of wariness. “What exactly could we do for you?” Jake asked eagerly.

“Well,” I began, “Dungeons can’t just make whatever they want, we need to have absorbed the item or creature before. What this means is I don’t have a lot of options for what I can make, aside from… well… Fred.” Lila winced, and Jake nodded.

“So you need us to bring you creatures, and I guess items as well?” Lila asked, still warily.

“Exactly!” I replied. “They don’t even have to be alive, just mostly in one piece. Plants are nice too.” I threw in.

Jake opened his mouth, Lila cut him off before he could speak. “We’d of course want a question each per creature, plant, or item.” She began the negotiations.

“Ha! Hardly worth so much, I could just enlarge any bug in my inventory! I can be patient, someone else will come along who would be willing to help. That said, I’d be willing to give one answer total per four creatures you bring me, and one for every 10 plants, rare plants or creatures can be negotiated at the time.” I countered.

“One question each per four creatures, one each for every 5 plants, and Rare Plants or Creatures guarantee at least one question each.” She shot back. Jake for his part kept silent, watching his team mate work.

“One question each per five creatures, one each per 7 plants, and rare plants or creatures guarantee at least one question each.” Came my reply.

She paused for a moment, thinking, and then nodded. “Deal.”

“Pleasure doing business with you!” I said cheerily. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have to work on creating some new defenses.”

Jake immediately jumped back into the conversation. “Can I watch?” He asked hopefully, charcoal poised to take notes.

“No, you’re blocking my ability to work, and absorbing all my mana.” I said. The first part was the truth, each creature had an aura that interfered with a dungeon’s ability to alter their domain. The second part was truer for Lila than for Jake, his mana density was already almost high enough that, given a few hours, he might actually start to put off a bit of mana instead.

Jake looked grumpy at being denied. “I suppose you’re not going to explain that either.” He grumped.

“Nope!” I responded, a grin in my voice. “Happy hunting!”

With a sigh the two of them turned and made their way up the levels of my dungeon. With them gone I turned my gaze on Nix. The dragon was sitting under my gem, watching the two go. I was honestly amazed he’d stayed so silent.

“We need to talk.” I said.

He looked up at me, and for a moment I could have swore I saw a glimmer of intelligence in his eyes. “You make shinies now.” He said. Clearly that glimmer had been wishful thinking.

“No, I can’t make shinies now. We don’t have the mana, and we have to make guardians, and traps.” I patiently explained.

The tiny dragon stared up at my gem, not speaking for a moment as if there was some kind of internal debate going on. Finally it huffed. “Make deal.” He said finally.

Had I eyes, I would have blinked. He wanted to make a deal? I wouldn’t have thought him capable of the concept. “Alright.” I said, feeling slightly off kilter and confused.

“One trap, one shiny. One g-ar-di-an.” He carefully sounded out the word. “One shiny.” He declared, looking proud of himself.

Something felt off, guardian was a big word for the little reptile, and the concept of deals… I wasn’t sure what to think. “Fine, but shinies after the dungeon is safe.”

He thought about it, and nodded, then curled up on the floor under my gem. It appeared he intended to wait.

Ignoring nix for now I spread my consciousness out through my aura, allowing myself to feel every inch of my dungeon at once. The store rooms and wine cellar were bare of anything, though as per our agreement I’d leave them that way, at least in terms of monsters. I needed to re-arrange the layout though. I shifted the stairs to the dungeon, and created two new sets of stairs in the storage level, to align with the tower stairs that the adventurers had mentioned. The tower would make a good entry for my dungeon. Then I walled the stairs off on all three levels so they were separate from the storage levels and wine cellar; leaving only tiny holes in the masonry so my aura could seep through.

Now I had to think of traps. In preparation for my new life I’d read up on all sorts of traps, from the mundane to the magical. Unfortunately I didn’t have the mana density for Magical traps, which left only the mundane. Further the floors of the first two layers weren’t thick enough to put Pit Traps in, nor were the ceilings thick enough for most falling traps. That left the more complicated mechanical ones.

I took a long moment to consider, and then settled on a rotating saw trap for the second hallway on the first level. I won’t bore you with the details of constructing such a trap, it’s complicated, involving all sorts of springs, tension wires, and pressure plates. The end result was a series of plates spread through the 3 meters of hallway that if stepped on would activate the blade set at knee height. It would pop out and hopefully de-leg anyone in the hallway. Unfortunately the trap was also fairly obvious, what with the groove running the entire length of the hallway. But that was alright, I wasn’t above giving people a sporting chance.

In the next hallway I placed three pressure plates. Two of them did nothing, the third activated a piston that pushed out the wall at high speeds to smash offender against the opposite side. That one had been tricky to figure out, the mechanism took up quite a bit of space. Finally I put a trip wire at the top of the stairs, if I was really lucky someone would trip and fall to their death.

On the second level I started with the first room. I covered the floor in ten pound pressure plates (that is to say pressure plates that require 10 pounds or more to go off). Most of them made an annoyingly loud clicking or popping noises. However I scattered around a dozen that when tripped, would cause the exits to seal, and flood the room using water from the river. I almost flooded my dungeon while making that one; Unfortunately it turns out Nix can swim. however I now had a pattern for river trout, so it evens out.

The first hallway and the second room I left untouched, and in the second hall I placed a classic spear trap. Step on the plate, spears come out of the wall… behind you, hopefully hitting the allies following. The final room I left untouched.

On my bottom floor I added my first pit trap, spanning the entire length of the first hallway. I lovingly and carefully placed each and every spike in the pit trap with malice aforethought. They were thin and spindly, made of rock and barbed all over. Anyone who fell on them would not only be pierced, but likely break them off, leaving them stuck inside them until they could be cut out. I covered it with a thin layer of stone, and then put a trip wire at ankle height just 10 centimeters into the hallway. Hopefully people would see the obvious trap and simply step over it, falling to their spikey doom.

I left the second room empty, that was where my Boss would; once I had enough mana for a boss that is. With the traps done I sat down to wait for my mana to regenerate. Nix for his part wandered out sometime during the construction. Probably to find food, or hopefully become food.

So I waited, and waited, and then waited some more. Finally I had enough Mana to begin with some simple creatures. First I repopulated the bugs that had been killed. They gave a trivial amount of mana but I was in no position to turn down a free meal. Next I focused on creating my first monster. Spiders were out of course, sorry Fred. Flipping through my options I was unimpressed. I had flies, webspinners, and a common beetle. And the motes of course. I decided to work with the beetle.

Reaching out with my mana I began to form it, and focused on the changes I wanted to make. First it needed to be larger, about palm sized. That was achieved with only slight effort. Next I needed it to have sharp mandibles. The effort required this time was more significant, and the amount of mana needed went up by a non-trivial amount. Finally I increased its mandible strength tenfold. This caused the cost to skyrocket, draining me almost dry, and required extreme mental effort. It appeared there were limits, in mana and mental might, to the changes I could force.

Despite the cost and effort required I had created my first defender. I looked like a large beetle, but I knew those mandibles could cut through flesh, and possibly thin bones, with a little effort. The cost however was almost a day’s worth of mana, it was going to be a while before I had a reasonable amount of them. Once more I settled down to wait.