Abby lay in bed, wondering if she should call Anne. She didn't want to seem clingy. Damnit, she wanted this, why was it so damned frightening?

They had been friends forever, yesterday had been an all too stark wake-up call that she could still lose her. Just… the thought of her with someone else, that scared her more. She did enjoy it, the kisses, the stolen moments, she hadn't been sure when she started. It had been more about not losing her.

She rolled over onto her stomach. That kiss, on the bus, the risk of people seeing, the corny cherry chapstick, wow. She considered using that, thinking about it, but no. Anne wasn't likely to, for some reason she felt that perhaps she should abstain too.

She rolled back onto her back, looked at the bare ceiling, wished it contained a poster with naked bodies. Not for the poster, for the warm body that would be beside her.

She picked up the phone. Dialled all but one digit of her friend's number and paused, hung up the phone. Anne might call, that would take the onus from her.

She waited, doodling on her sketchbook, idly drawing anime characters, she stopped when she realised the most recent one looked like Anne, and that the pupils were little love hearts. She tore the page off and slipped it into her history textbook.

She gave up and did her homework, reading for English. At least it was a fun book this time, children of the dust.

It distracted her, she realised that and used it. She read the entire last half of the book.

She picked up the phone, dialled the number, almost finished when she caught sight of the time. Midnight. She put the phone down, sighed and went to bed, she lay there in the warm covers thinking about the day, almost breaking her promise to herself.