*SPLAT!*

Oh Kami... My hands were covered in thick mucus. I stared at them. The poor tissue was obliterated by the force, and a huge mass of snot had hit the wall like a paintball. The wall was a bit cracked. How? Why? But... but... A metric ton of snot hit my bathroom wall, plastering the remnants of the tissue to it. So much for avoiding making a mess… Goodbye my deposit.

I nearly shorted out. It wasn’t the volume of mucus which bothered me so much as the paradox of having launched it to begin with... From where? It was like when you say to a robot, 'I am lying'.

My eyes fell to the wrapping again and I read it again, licking my no-lips nervously. I could feel a tongue moving over imaginary lips, but of course there was no mouth nor a tongue. I read the silly pun again, and this time it couldn’t move me to laugh.

SSDS, Tokyo

Got a yokai? I’m your guy!

“This is the guy I need.” I nodded to myself. “H-he even mentioned yokai.”

“He must know about them! If so, then maybe he’ll know how to find Noh-face! Maybe he’ll even know how to fix me!”

I was posed with an obvious problem I’d noticed earlier when I was cracking jokes about his advertisement. There was no number, no physical address, not even an email address! How could I contact someone who didn’t leave any useful information?

If he’s so stupid when it comes to business matters, how can he possibly save me? How can I trust him with my future?!The truth is, I‘ve nothing to lose in trying.

“If I don’t take action, I will truly be a yokai for the rest of my life. I’d been so slow to act. Waiting for the last moment to act is something shonen heroes can get away with, but I’m not one! Even so, I’ll fight like one.” I clenched my fist grimacing. I glanced towards my reflection.

“YAAAAAAAAAAIIIII!!!!” I screamed loudly and slammed my fists on the countertop. Finally I scowled, which of course didn’t register either.

I dashed out into the genkan hallway through my kitchenette to where I’d dropped my suitcase to slam it down on my desk. I knelt as I unfastened the clasps on it, removing my laptop from within it. I cuddled it for a moment, inspecting it tenderly. Thankfully, there was no obvious damage to it. It’d been tossed and slammed around a bit amidst the struggle earlier. I set it down besides the briefcase, folding it open to activate it. The Windows logo appeared and it displayed on the screen for far longer than usual. It was so slow I wondered if it was damaged even cushioned against casual damage while inside my case, which accommodated it beautifully.

I stressed about it, nearly pulling out my hair, which was thankfully plentiful. The Windows logon page appeared to confirm my identity. “Ahhhhh!”

I typed in my PIN and waited anxiously again. It took a bit, but my desktop appeared faster than expected. I opened up Chrome, ran a Google search while briefly scanning the tissue container again. Perhaps they weren’t stupid enough to omit some information. Going online immediately, I started my investigation. This is a world of information shared freely online. Of course it might be a worthwhile marketing ploy to pass out flyers or a simple container of tissues. I searched for what I could: Tokyo SSDS Yokai.