《The End + The Instant》Instant #9 - Toast
Advertisement
“We met with the producer Max had been talking to.”
There’s something off in Lark’s voice, but Oli isn’t sure what it means. “Did the gig go badly?” he asks.
“It went fine. I mean, it was a struggle. For me. But it was—you know.” Lark shrugs. “It was a Squires of Gothos show. It sounded the way it sounded. Like…bad.”
Oli laughs.
“We were really lucky. I mean—I was really lucky. The gig was what it was, but the venue was cool. We met some good people there. Jules—the producer—they saved my life.”
“Yeah?”
Lark believes, absolutely, that this is true. It would have been easy to ignore him when he arrived in Portland. Max made friends easily, talked and talked, but Lark was shyer. And he was with people, with Dana and Max—anyone could have been forgiven for leaving them to watch out for each other. Jules, though, had immediately seen what he needed and had gotten it for him: anti-nausea medication, a real friend. Lark still admires it.
“Do you ever meet someone who just knows what to do?” Lark asks. “That was Jules.”
Oli understands this. He used to think, sometimes, that as he got older, he would become one of those people. Even though he’s edging into his late twenties and self-sufficient—a researcher, a Ph.D. and, by some measures, successful—Oli still doesn’t feel like an adult. Outside of his routine, he can’t deal with much.
“Sure. Adult goals kind of people,” he says.
“Yeah,” Lark agrees. “But I don’t just mean competent. I mean—I don’t know. Giving? I find it hard to be that kind to people. Like really, unashamedly kind.”
Unashamedly is perhaps the key. Lark knows he is generally nice. If someone asks him for something or obviously requires assistance, he is quick to help. He tries to be aware of others’ feelings. But where there’s even a sliver of doubt that his presence might be causing embarrassment or is somehow unwanted, he is usually too anxious to push. He doesn’t like to offer himself too forcefully.
Advertisement
This is a shame, he knows. The few true, radical acts of kindness he’s experienced happened contrary to his own stubborn refusal of them, and in spite of his boiling shame.
He thinks of Jules’ hand on his back.
Lark used to touch his friends, to comfort them, but only friends he knew well. He’s not sure there’s anyone he would dare comfort now.
When we arrived in Portland, I had the window open in the backseat, my hair whipping around in the wind. It was a crisp, clear day—the false promise of a rare rainless summer. Our coast-to-coast odyssey had taken five days; I felt like I’d been sick forever but would have believed anyone who told me we’d left the day before.
Max had moved us across the country to impress a producer he only called—consciously casually—Jules, and we arranged to meet them in a retro diner down the road from the venue we were meant to play at in the evening. I was feeling barely well enough to be unpacked from the car, and Dana guided me to the booth nearest the bathroom. She let me sit next to her with my head on the table. When the waitress took our order, she ordered me some dry toast and a ginger ale.
Max tapped the back of my head with a spoon when the producer arrived, and I sat up, tried to act human. Jules was an attractive, androgynous person. Their short hair was dyed a pastel pink, and they were wearing a mint green button-down, candy-colored lipgloss. Their confectionary sweet fashion didn’t match their solemn expression or the sharp, discerning eyes behind their oversized glasses.
Jules slid into the booth and listened to Max introduce us. They ordered a coffee and thanked us for driving all the way, seemingly a little worried by our enthusiasm. Jules said they only ran a small label, described a modest line-up for the evening, while Max made every tiny gig we played back home sound more important than it was. I started feeling faint and rested my head in my hands. I tried not to draw attention to myself, but Jules was sitting right across from me, and when Max finished singing the praises of Jules’ label’s last release, they asked if I was okay. I lifted my head to nod. Dana, though, started to tell them how sick I was.
Advertisement
Oh, no, Jules said, gently. They didn’t take their eyes off me, even though it was everyone else who was talking. What’s wrong?
Jules seemed almost indignant when they uncovered how long I’d been sick, how severely, how little had been done. They refused to talk about the gig and left the diner; we saw them talking on their phone out the front window before biking quickly off. Max started fretting right away, but in twenty minutes, they were back with two big bottles of Hydralyte and prescription Zofran their husband had donated to our cause.
Drugs first, they said, then drink.
By the time we left the diner, I’d managed to keep a down a piece of toast. Jules drove with us to the venue and forbid me from helping Max unload the car. Dana carried in my pedals, and Max stared daggers at me while he hauled my synths through the door. I sat on the curb and watched.
Jules had gone inside first to sort things out with the club owner but came out and sat with me once things settled. How’re you holding up?
I told them I was okay. The pill they’d had me dissolve under my tongue had helped, and I felt better than I had in days.
Are you sure you want to play tonight? Jules asked. It’s really okay if the answer is no. We’ll arrange something else.
It took me a while to answer. The idea of canceling, strangely, had never crossed my mind, even that morning when I probably couldn’t have stood up for an hour-long set, much less played it. I told Jules it would be fine, I’d be fine.
Jules just put their hand on my back, rubbed a circle over my shoulders. I leaned into the touch, still too ill to be surprised by the familiarity.
Advertisement
Return of the Legendary Hunter
10 years searching for his lost sibling.He finds the corpse of his sibling before a God who had used him as sacrifice.He is killed by the God but instead is returned 10 years into the past!It will not be the same anymore!
8 1545Transmigration Retiree
"What's that you say? I can never leave this reality ever? Good!" Ed, was a normal man in a world full of superheroes, so he didn't really have too many complaints when that first truck fell on him. After all he'd read enough comics to know that sometimes things just happen. Besides he'd been getting on in years when it happened, and his life till then, though lonely, had more or less been fully lived. The second time around when that one guy pushed him off a cliff for a chalice of immortal ambrosia, wasn't so cool though, and then there was that third time when he was just getting used to life as a lady, and that crazy goddess showed up out of nowhere and started ranting about purging the demon menace....then some other stuff happened and he briefly got to go back to earth before falling into a coma where he adventured in the world of dreams. Then the aliens came, and the dream ended and he was suddenly stuck being the AI Overmind for the whole damn star systm. The aliens died, and because he was all mechanical and what-not he just kind of had to keep on going. Forced to continue collecting the materials and data from countless worlds that were destoryed in the process. Then there was that whole war with the gods business that followed...mostly because of all that world destroying he did because of some fairly faulty programming. Anyway, thankfully someone pulled a "rocks fall" on that whole curfuffle, because by the time he was in control of himself again, things had long gotten out of hand. Now the powers-that-be tell him that he must spend the rest of his existence in single lonely section of the cosmos. Trapped in a single portion of a single universe. And now he weeps...No worries though, these are tears of joy. Hopefully this final unending existence he's been given will be the quiet life he's been looking for. A Man who's seen everything gets abducted by aliens and is converted into an AI that sits at the helm of a fleet of alien ships and behind the computer systems for most their planets. This Alien AI goes to war with the gods and ends up nearly destroying an entire reality. The Angels condemn the troublemaking AI to life as normal child on a far off world....All truth said, the "AI" couldn't be happier. His life's been far too interesting(read: Scary, Inconvenient and Painful) in his opinion and he could do with a bit of normalcy.
8 170Celestial [A Progression Fantasy LitRPG]
Warning!Profanity, unconventional relationships, drug use, descriptive gore and intimacy. Celestial is a slow-paced and action-packed progression fantasy with elements from the LitRPG genre. The story focuses on the protagonist’s personal growth, violence, sex, exploration and adventure. Follow Zelaria as she embarks on her journey of exploration and adventure, seeking ever greater heights of power. With an affinity for the elusive and mysterious Arcane and a preference for the thrill of close combat she nonetheless chooses to walk the path of a mage. A mage may still use weapons but a warrior rarely casts spells as far as she knows. It’s a logical path for her even if others may call it insanity. What do they know? Most people who choose to specialize in wielding mana tend to pick a mage class aligned with their element. Why become a standard mage, average at everything, when you can use your affinity for fire to become a fire mage and cause destruction with ease? The only problem for Zelaria is that no one seems to know how to get a mage class aligned with the arcane. Approaching 17 years of age she’s still at level 0 while her peers have long left her behind, their classes selected at the age of 15 when they became available. Luck is on her side though as she manages to snag employment as a hauler with a party heading on an expedition to a dungeon abandoned centuries ago. They’re looking for riches and danger while she’s still looking for an answer, one she finds at their destination even if not in the way she expected. Nothing is going to stop her from enjoying all that the world has to offer, not the wish of her parents or even her death. I'll be aiming to upload 5 chapters in bulk every week.
8 468The Strongest Species
Humanity won. In the war against the supreme dragons, humanity wrested victory from the literal jaws of the dragons. The strongest species lost their title and was cast down in history as ancient creatures, devoid of any civilization. Their cities, culture, and civilization were completely wiped out, with only the oldest of mages and greatest of anarchs remembering them. Humanity took the achievements of this immortal race and claimed it as their own. Humanity flourished. Now, a thousand years after the war, humanity has forgotten this primordial race. Unbeknownst to even the greatest of humanity's saints, the dragons did not lose to humanity just because of humanity. They had their own hand in their own defeat. But just like they were a cause in their own destruction, they will cause their rebirth without the help of any creature. The dragons will rise again. It's time to reclaim the title of the strongest species.
8 17910 Myths about Introverts
Introverts! Unite separately at your own homes.
8 327SS Arshi:The bet
ipkknd
8 126