Two soldiers were stationed beside Nira as she waited in the castle foyer. One, she didn’t recognize, and the other was the Kobra. A symbolic gesture by an uncaring world, that the guard who she hated the most was the one to walk Nira to her final destination.

Occasional tears trickled down her cheeks, but were soon rubbed into her sleeves. Her face flushed with grief trying to escape, and a rhythmic sniffle emanated from her nose.

The foyer was a large open area, walled off by perfectly cut stone on every side. The floor had a purple and gold-rimmed rug running down along the main path, flanked by narrower rugs that branched out from it. On every corner, royal purple banners hung with the gold lion sigil crested on top. Giant windows near the ceilings swamped the room with light, so much so that not a single lamp was needed. In the middle of the foyer was a small pool with a hulking statue of a man with a sword reaching into the sky with one hand and holding a skull with the other. It was Ayeron, one of “The Five Creators” who created the main kingdoms. He founded the Eastern Kingdom many hundreds of years ago. Little was known about them, other than a few half-lost texts and myths left behind by their contemporaries. Nira’s mother had told a few to her. The main rug split, running along both sides of the pool, before meeting back and ending at the main door. On its other end, the rug began at the beginning of two hallways, ones which ran to the deeper, more secret parts of the castle, that were flanked by more guards.

From there, Sir Varus and King Leopole walked into the room, followed by Advisor Sweren, two more people wearing similar robes, but in different shades, and several royal guards.

“Is this the girl that wrecked our guest’s stay? Why, I should have her hanged.” King Leopole said with a roar, and after a sip of wine from an aged ceramic goblet, looked to Sir Varus to ask, “Are you sure you fancy taking her?”

Surprisingly, Nira felt nothing at that threat. Honestly, she would welcome death. Death would be a sweet comfort from the suffering that life had given her. With death, there would be no more pain, no more loss, no more curses. Just the sweet embrace of a shitty god and the Eternity of Plenty in the afterlife. She would even be able to meet her parents and friends when they arrived. But only those who followed the code of the church got into the Eternity of Plenty. Surely god would understand her circumstances?

Sir Varus laughed. “Just like you, your grace, I wish to send her to meet judgement as soon as possible. However, there is plenty of unfinished business between us that I eagerly await to attend to as well. Thus, I must hold off on her final judgement till a later date.”

“If you must, though I must warn you that spending too much time with these low lives is not good for the mind. Before you know it, you will become one of them.”

“Experience brings resilience with these matters, as you must know. Besides, if I let one off easy, the rest will follow.”

“A fair point. Nevertheless, keep me updated on her fate as I would like some confirmation to make sure she doesn’t taint my name any further.”

The king approached and examined her injuries. He gripped her arm and lifted it to his face. The bandages on her arm covered the bruising she sustained the night before. He gave her arm a tight squeeze, and Nira winced. She looked at the king, to find him not looking at the arm, but at her with a terrifying face showing no emotion except the desire to kill.

“You whore. I’ll make sure you pay,” he whispered to her, before tightening his grip even more, to the point Nira felt her bones might break. She let out a yelp of pain, and the king immediately released his grip, letting Nira collapse to the ground. He turned around to Sir Varus, changing his face back to one filled with delight. The bandages on her arm had come free due to the king’s grip, and the wounds she carried became obvious. A deep purple wrapping her forearm. Fresh scars forming on her elbow from where she had tried to break her fall. Welts and bruises mixing on her upper arm, a stew of anguish and pain.

“It is unfortunate we couldn’t see eye to eye during this visit. The demands by the Istrian Confederacy were just too great for our people, and it was absurd from your king that we would even think of agreeing to such terms. However, you are a smart man, so if at any point his absurdity gets on your nerves, remember you have a home here.”

“That is very generous of you. Perhaps my liege expected you to be equally generous in our negotiations.”

“Sometimes a man buying a horse forgets the liveryman has a family to feed as well.”

“Sometimes the man buying a horse merely seeks to get back his own stolen steed.”

“Not every steed in the world can be claimed by one man.”

“I agree. The liveryman should know better.”

The two stared daggers at one another. An atmosphere so thick with tension that she could hardly breath - or maybe that was just from the pain in her arm. The guards surrounding the two men tightened their grip on their weapons and shifted to a more ready stance. Everything waited cautiously, until the noise of the castle doors opening broke the stillness; it was a palanquin held by eight attendants. Leading the palanquin were four guards, and trailing it were three more, accompanied by three attendants who carried Sir Varus’ belongings. The attendants ran the palanquin through the foyer, stopping right beside Nira.

“HAHAHA,” the king laughed jocularly, as if he had forgotten the recent barbed conversation. “It’s always a great conversation with you. Come back if you ever get bored of your king. I have a daughter who would love you.”

Sir Varus turned to Nira and gave an annoyed grumble as he saw the bandages lying beside her.

He reached out his hand and said, “Get up. We need to leave.”

Nira, carefully, without using Sir Varus’ hand, found her feet, and hobbled into the palanquin. Sir Varus quickly followed behind her. She found a small comfort in knowing that she wouldn’t have to walk to where she was heading. At least for now. The comfort didn’t last long as the palanquin abruptly jostled her as the attendants picked it up; Nira grimaced at the pain.

“Please bear with this for a little longer,” Sir Varus said under his breath.

She paid no notice to his remark. The palanquin kept moving, through the castle doors, and into the courtyard. Behind them, a guard shouted a command, and the sound of the castle doors slamming shut quickly followed.

A small breeze ruffled the curtains, and through a resulting opening, Nira saw regiments of royal guards on either side, all fully armored and fully armed, outlining a path for their palanquin to take towards the castle gatehouse. It was an army of statues, with each man looking as if he was worth at least ten in a fight. A shiver ran down Nira’s back as she promptly looked around for something easier to stare at. Her eyes fell on Sir Varus, who stared at the floor, tapped his foot furiously, and rubbed his thumbs, as he too tried to take no notice of the guards outside. Nira felt a hint of pleasure in this sight of Sir Varus’ discomfort.

Once they got to the grand wooden castle gates, embedded within a towering stone wall, she heard shouts of instructions for the gate to be opened passed from the guards behind her to the men on the wall, and finally to some gatekeeper who finally began opening them. They were old. That was evident in the sounds made by the creaking wood, which pressed against its joints in every way it could. Like an old man, the wood had lost the vitality of its heyday and now only moved with great protest. The stone wall surrounding it was in much better shape. Though there were a few cracks seeping through, the stone would outlast the wood by a great deal.

A bitterness spread across Nira’s mouth. Here was the barrier she had dreamed of crossing since the day she became trapped almost two years ago. Now it finally opened up for her, but only to take her from one prison to another.

As the gates opened, a bustling city down the hillside came into view. Nira could see it all. All of those city sounds she had heard from within the castle finally had a clear picture. For a second, she even forgot her predicament. This is all she had wanted. Freedom.

But it was only for a second. Guards rushed out, pushing back a sudden mass of people at the gate who were shouting and screaming at the castle and king. Curses and insults, some known and some new, launched from every side. It felt as if the crowd would win for a second, as the guards were pushed back, but then another wave of soldiers were called from the wall and managed to turn the tide. Swiftly, the palanquin squeezed through a small gap in their lines.

“GET AWAY YOU VERMIN,” screamed a guard.

“STEP AWAY,” shouted another.

Every guard and soldier around them bellowed and clubbed the crowd to make sure that Sir Varus and Nira would get through. Still, the palanquin shook rapidly, as the attendants carrying it struggled through the rowdy crowd. Several stones struck the sides, adding to the turbulence. Two or three made it into the palanquin itself, before Sir Varus hurriedly closed the windows. Nira’s body ached and throbbed at each strike by the crowd, the pain quickly teaching about parts of her body whose existence was only learned of yesterday.

“Please, just a little bit longer. I beg of you, please don’t give up now,” Sir Varus whispered.

“Enough with the games,” Nira managed to let out, between the torturous convulsions of the palanquin.

Sir Varus began to say something, but stopped himself, his face only going limp in response.

Wave after wave of people attacked the palanquin. It felt as if it would never end, but eventually did as all things must, and they finally emerged on the other side of the crowd and into a street of bustling people. With one hand and great effort, Nira opened the window once again and some of her pain instantly vanished, replaced with memories of her life before all these problems. The smell of bakers baking bread, the sights of children annoying merchants with their play, the sound of people haggling for lower prices - she didn’t realize she even missed these things. It had been so long since she had felt a city breathe through its people, and all the views of the city from the top floors of the castle paled in comparison to this feeling. This wasn’t her new life and this wasn’t emancipation - only a transfer of power - but just for a moment, it was nice to pretend like it was.

They walked down through the streets in formation, but now with only two guards in front and one guard behind. And even though there were many people from all walks of life in the crowded street, nobody dared to step in the guards' path. Bitter stares and muttered curses were all these people dared to throw.

Finally, the group reached the city wall. It was a much smaller stone construction than the one around the castle, and far less detailed, built for functionality over all other considerations. Under the wall stood a gimcrack carriage pulled by two eesems, foreign creatures that Nira had only seen in paintings on Count Olsten’s wall. They were as tall as a person and a half; their body itself was the size of a small carriage, topped with webbed antlers the size of tree saplings, all held up by comically long and skinny legs. From behind those legs, out popped a young boy warding off any person who got too close to the carriage or eesems. It was somewhat silly, the difference in sizes between him and his eesems; he barely got to their chest. The boy wore a turquoise cloak over a green shirt with an equally bright green hat that had a feather sticking out from one side. Nira had never seen that kind of hat before; it was brimless, flat-topped, and had silver embroidery on its front outlining a symbol of some sort.

Nira stared at the boy’s empty sleeve, flapping in the wind, for an embarrassing length of time before she realised his right arm, from the elbow down, was missing. Sir Varus stepped out of the palanquin, and the boy stomped over, frowning.

“Took you long enough. We were supposed to leave in the morning, but it’s noon already,” the boy said to Sir Varus. While he talked, he motioned to the attendants with his free hand - or rather, his only hand - where to drop the items they carried.

“My error, I had some unplanned business to finish this morning, and it didn’t help that the king was tardy in saying his goodbyes.”

“Is the deadline still what we guessed?”

“Yup, three days to reach the border.”

“Shoot. That means we can only stop for a half hour lunch each day. No other breaks between camps. Roe and Rae are tired, but I guess we can give them a decent break once we reach the border.”

Seeing Sir Varus nod at the idea, the boy went back to the carriage and started preparing the eesems for the trip: feeding them carrots and fitting their reins. A guard approached them, the one from Advisor Sweren’s office.

“I am Officer Heimericus. It is a pleasure to meet you, sir. Did they tell you everything at the castle?” the guard asked.

“I believe so,” Sir Varus replied.

“Alright, I will give you a brief overview anyway in case they missed anything. If you have any questions, ask. To begin, the guards and attendants are here for your protection. His majesty would like to ensure that you leave our lands safely. Secondly, we will first accompany you east on the White Road and then take the Grey Road northeast to the border. This will take us three days, no more. There you are on your own. Is that acceptable?”

“Yes, that sounds ideal,” Sir Varus said, pretending he hadn’t heard the information already.

“And finally, if there is anything you feel you left behind, please tell us now so we can get it. There will be no return trips or detours once we leave. Any questions?”

“Will you have your own rations or will we be sharing?”

“Our rations will be separate, but we will dine together at whatever time you wish. However, sunset is the latest that my men will continue traveling, so our expectation is that dinner will be soon afterwards. Lunch, you may choose when.”

“And as for our formation, you will stay behind us the entire way, correct?”

“Yes sir. It will be easier to watch for any enemy incursions from the back. Any more questions?”

“No, I have gotten all I need.”

“Well then, you lead the way, we will follow.” He turned around and started shouting instructions to the guards and the attendants who had just arrived.

Turning to Nira, Sir Varus asked, “Can you get up by yourself?”

Nira tested her body, but the jostling in the palanquin had left her raw.

“Ok, hold my hand tightly and carefully. Let me know if I grab anything tender.”

What was he scheming this time, Nira wondered? She reluctantly grabbed his hand and hoisted herself up, pushing most of her weight on his. All her injuries flared up, but she bit her lips to stop herself from crying out loud. A small amount of blood pooled in her mouth from either her injuries or lips, she couldn’t really tell. Carefully, Sir Varus lifted her up with his arms, and brought her inside the carriage, taking great care with each step he took up its steps.

Gently, he laid her down in the back seat, there being just enough space to fit her body. The cushioning was soft yet firm, and for the first time since leaving her bed this morning, her body felt some relief. Sir Varus sat across from her in a small seat. There was a small back support that he leaned against, but it was obvious that it was an uncomfortable position.

After giving them some food, the boy became satisfied with the eesems, whispered some motivational words to them, and kissed both of them on their snouts. One eesem kissed the boy back while another gave a happy neigh. The boy then took one final stroll around the carriage before hopping on board in the driver’s seat, too small to fill even half of it. He pulled the reins leading to both eesems, and before waiting for any affirmative gesture from the guards, the boy gave the command “Go”, eesems reacting immediately.

Nira thought she heard Officer Heimericus yell at them to stop, but if she had, it was drowned out by the sound of hooves thumping against the ground. Nobody else in the carriage gave it any thought, so it may have just been a trick of the mind. They almost crossed the first hill outside the city before Nira saw the soldiers and attendants start following.

“So you brought along another stray? You really are a fool. I thought I told you,” the boy said.

“You told me to ‘not to actively look for any person.’ I didn’t actively look for her. She came to me, in a very fine dress I might add,” Sir Varus replied.

“That’s not what I- Arrgh! It is a risk, Varus. What if you had gotten caught? Then what would we do?”

“Let us not do this lecture now. I think that ass crap king tore loose some of her bandages. Can we give her the life potion?”

“No.”

“But-”

“No, and that is final. We both know that the remaining one is for you.”

“But look at her. She needs it.”

“Then we should have rationed them out better on the way here. Giving them to every single injured person we come across means things like this will happen. And anyways, she is not my top priority, you are.”

Sir Varus sulked, defeated, at those words, but after some moments of stewing over his loss, he shot back, “What if we give her half?”

The boy appeared to be caught off guard by this, and he went into deep thought, stealing glances at Nira’s injuries before focusing back on the road. After what felt like forever, he sighed, “Alright, we can give her half, but not a drop more, and that’s final. On top of that, she has to sit up front with me where she can’t leave my sight.”

Sir Varus cheered and fished out a small red vial from his coat. Nira had heard about these life potions before; they could heal any ailment to the limit of what was humanly possible. They didn’t work through some magic, but rather, through speeding up the body’s own healing processes. This meant if you lost an arm, the potions couldn’t grow one back, but they could fix scrapes, bruises, and even fractures.

“Here, open your mouth Nira,” Sir Varus said.

Nira didn’t. This was most likely poison that he was going to pour into her, and all this kindness he showed her was just so he could crush her again. In no world would the man from last night be charitable. Another trick. Another scheme. This is what it was. She tried to keep her lips closed, but the pain of last night returned into her mind as her body seized, fear taking control. This was not her body, it was Sir Varus’, and her lips parted.

The lukewarm drink poured down her throat. She wanted to gag on its bitter taste, but she couldn’t move. Every facet of her knew that Sir Varus was its master. As soon as half the bottle was finished, Sir Varus stopped pouring and shook off the few drops hanging on edge of the vial. Almost immediately, Nira felt and even saw the purple disappear from her arms. The pain and misery in her back slowly became fainter and fainter. She shot up straight, and it felt as if her insides were rearranging themselves, those broken bones healing. Then as quickly as the transformation began, it stopped. There were still bruises, there were still scars, there were still welts, but far fewer than before.

“Nira, can you lift your arms so I can redo some of your bandages,” Sir Varus asked as he fished some bandages and wound-cleaner from the bag beside him.

“The front. She is supposed to come to the front,” said the boy, exasperated.

“The remaining injuries, let me fix them and then she can move to the front.”

“Fine, but that is it. No more after that,” the boy replied. As soon as he heard this, Sir Varus carefully kneeled on the carriage floor and began analyzing her injuries with the same focus as he had the books. Faintly, the boy muttered, “What is even my purpose? They are going to roast me alive when we get back.” If Sir Varus heard this, he gave no sign of it.

What was happening? Any second now, he would beat her for his own amusement and the world would return to normal.

“Your hands, lift them up please.Your wounds are serious, and if I don’t dress them, there is a possibility of infection.” Sir Varus paused, and then continued with abrupt concern, “Or does it hurt to lift them? Is it the pain coming from under or over the arm? Is it a sharp or dull pain? Do you know any medicine that your body doesn’t react well to?”

Nira was confused. What was happening? Wasn’t she a victim right now? A prisoner? Why was he spending time tending to her wounds for the second time within a day? The only answer she got was Sir Varus preparing bandages and a wound-cleaner. She slowly lifted her arms.

“What even happened to her? Did the king or his men go on a rampage? She looked like a wreck,” the boy said.

Sir Varus looked at Nira with soft eyes.

“It was me.”

The carriage immediately ground to a halt. The boy turned around and punched Sir Varus.

“WHA’ DID YA SAY! YA BETTA EXPLAIN BEFO’E I BEAT YA SENS’LESS ON THA ROAD!” he screamed.

“Nira, I am sorry, I had no other choice. The king has a very strong ability: the power to read minds. I wasn’t initially planning on bringing you with me. Actually, Maven had instructed me not to even converse with anybody other than the king and his advisors because of my weakness-”

“It isn’t a weakness. It is the best part about you, but sometimes, you need to focus on the bigger picture.”

“I know, Maven, I know.” He took a deep breath and spoke, “When Nira made an error, and enraged the king, I knew she would be sentenced to death. That is simply the tyrant he is, and this meant my weakness took over. If I had told you that I was planning on freeing you, he would have read your mind and killed us both. If I had shown you any mercy and tried to bring you, he would have imprisoned you and me under suspicion of treason. For us to escape, I needed to act like them. You can settle the debt when we get to the border, and if you don’t even want to stay with us till then, I understand that as well. Maven and I can create a diversion tonight for our traveling companions, allowing you to escape. And don’t worry, they won’t pursue you because they have to stick to Maven and me for the next three days.”

“But this much? This is a lot. How much did you hit her?”

“I needed to make it believable. The king is ruthless; if I had shown any restraint, he would have read right through her.”

“Don’t lie to me. I know you well enough.”

Sir Varus pinched his temples and, looking shamefully at Nira, said, “Yes, Maven, you are right, so very right... I am regretting that I didn’t stop myself earlier. There was no justification for the degree to which I took my actions. I am so sorry.”

“Why didn’t you stop? You are usually the one to pull his punches.”

“The letter… she ripped the letter. Or she didn’t. She told me the truth of the situation this morning; I don’t know why I ever believed that shrewd advisor. And even if what the advisor told me was correct, he would be ashamed of me if he heard what I did over some cheap piece of paper. I tried not to let it affect me, but I think it did, in a disgusting manner. When we get back, I will ask Ariana for help, because I don’t want this part of me to come out ever again. I didn’t even know it existed before. Again, Nira, I am not seeking your forgiveness; I don’t deserve it for how pathetic I was. I merely want you to know how sorry I am, and that I will do everything in my power to set you on the right path. Let me start with this.”

From the storage area in the back of the carriage, he grabbed a small box and placed it on Nira’s lap.

“I heard you mention something about a carving and merchant, so I went this morning and asked every merchant that had set up shop inside the castle if a partner woman had come and asked for a figure. Unfortunately, none of them could recall anything of the sort. So I went to get your belongings from your… um... room, but a guard had already done the honors and collected everything. He pleaded with me to take it. I was really thankful to him, but sadly couldn’t say much; I had to play my character. He was a good man, that guard. I hope you don’t mind but I did look inside to make sure there weren't any concerning items inside,” Sir Varus said, before motioning to the box, “Please open it gently, there is something important inside.”

Trembling, Nira opened it with great care. She was bewildered at yet another act of charity by Sir Varus. What scheme could this be part of? Placed above all of her belongings inside the box was a folded piece of paper. She unravelled it to find a note, recognizing nothing except her name scrawled near the top.

“Oh yes, sorry,” Sir Varus said. He gently took it from her and read out loud,

“Dear Nira,

Today, I woke up anxious, uneasy and, for some reason, frightened to my core, but I could not come up with a reason why until I walked out into the hall. My heart’s broken. Milda and Ja didn’t take it well either. We didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye. Rumors are that you are in danger right now and that some strange man is taking you to lands faraway to punish you. We hope that you will stay safe through all of this and that we can once more meet again. We all miss you so much that I can’t even write how much we do. Milda has been crying the entire morning since she heard the news. Ja has shut down.

We all agree that you were always the toughest of us girls. You were brave, gracious, and you never let anybody hurt us. You remind me a lot of Odilia. The two of you helped me so much that I could not possibly show my gratitude. You were my best friend. I wish I could thank you in person and say how much I love you. I don’t think I will ever be the same without you.

This part is from Milda. Hey Nira, do you remember the first day you came? In the corner of the room, you were nervously sitting with eyes wide open and body shaking. It wasn’t the best place for us to meet, but I am still so glad that we did. To watch you tell all your stories and the way you made us cry, laughing at your jokes, I was so, so lucky to have you come into my life, but now, as suddenly as you came, you are gone. It is going to be lonely here without you. I am worried about what will happen to you and what fate has in store, but know that as long as you keep god in your heart, you will find a way. I will pray for you every night, and I know one day we will get to meet again.

Ja didn’t want me to write a part for her. Like I mentioned before, she isn’t talking right now but know that she is also hurt by your leaving.

From,

Cheril, Milda, and Ja

There isn’t much time left so this part will be rushed. Ja wants to talk.

I made a mistake before and I made it again, and if I could do anything, I would change it. I knew it would be bad. I knew it. But I still went ahead and told you. I can still feel you in my arms from that last hug we had. I made you do it. I killed you. I am your killer. Nira, please forgive me. I hope the one above kills me, like I did you, but that would be too easy for me. This suffering is my punishment, but you, Nira, survive. Fight. Claw. Do anything to live and don’t let them take you easy.

Love you to the moon,

Ja”

Ah, how could she have been so dumb? Her friends, of course they were worried. Cheril was right; she never got to say her goodbyes. And Milda. Milda always looked out for her when she was down, and she never even said thank you. Ja… none of this was Ja’s fault. Nira did it on her own, but now, Ja had to suffer? How was that fair… this wasn’t just her fight. It never was. How could she have been so dumb?

She took the paper back from Varus. She hadn’t noticed before, but there were dry, wrinkled, circular water marks scattered all over. Her own tears joined them. The paper creasing under her grip and arms settling on her knees as her body curled to contain the grief. She wiped her face to make sure the paper didn’t dampen anymore. Why couldn’t she read the words? Why couldn’t read the words her friends wrote to her? They were right there, but she didn’t have a single intelligent particle inside her. Why couldn’t she do anything right?

Nira closed her eyes, hearing the empty rattling of her heart. Memories of happier times filled her head. The games they played, the jokes they made, the stories they shared. All of them came to her. When she opened them back up, part of her expected to see Cheril and Milda laughing at a funny face made by Ja or Milda combing Cheril’s hair. That part expected all this to be just a dream that she would wake up from any second to see Cheril getting ready for her daily job. Her life was not that fortunate. Maven turned, reluctantly satisfied with the answer, and the carriage started moving again. This nightmare was not yet over.

“I will read this letter to you as many times as you want throughout the trip. Maven will too, won’t you?”

“Why even ask me? I don’t have a choice. It would be shockingly wicked to say anything other than yes in this situation,” Maven light-heartedly replied.

“For now though, let me apply the bandages.”

Nira lifted her arms, and Varus began tending to her injuries. His hands were quick and experienced as they efficiently wrapped all her injuries. He even removed the ones he had placed earlier and redid them.

“S-sorry for asking sir, but what about your mind? Why couldn’t he read your mind?” Nira finally spoke with a voice like splinters to ears. It had been worn raw and broken from all the crying and pain. It seems the potion didn’t fix this. Maven looked shocked and shot a quick glare at Varus, who, on the other hand, just slumped as if he had expected the sound.

“I am not that amazing. Unlike most nobles, I don’t have any amazing powers to fight the king’s mind reading, nor am I in any position to challenge him. Most of the king’s guests are crushed by the king’s power and cunning, and thus, lose any verbal duel they participate in. Even foreign ambassadors who speak different languages are not exempt. He has put in a great deal of effort to ensure he gets the most out of his ability. In between all his royal obligations, I have heard the man spent all his free time trying to study as many languages, codes, and deciphering mechanics as he could. Unfortunately for him, I had a lot more free time than he did.”

“Varus! You shouldn’t be telling this to a stranger,” Maven exclaimed.

“It’s fine. A little explanation is the least I can offer after what I did to her,” Varus said before continuing, “I was chosen for this mission specifically because of a skill of mine. To prevent malicious minds from stealing my ideas, I have created a language that only I and a few trusted people know. However, out of those few people, only I am able to think solely in my language. So while the king can do all the reading he wishes on my mind, understanding my thoughts is another story...”

“But now that you have me, what do you intend to do?”

“Nothing. You can leave us if you wish. However, I must warn that if you are found walking free with those slave markings, you will be caught and sold to someone like your old king. Moreover, if King Leopole finds you walking free, he will stop at no ends to kill you... and probably those you love. That is the level of wrath held by King Leopole.”

She choked on her breath and gasped, her thoughts wandering to the many ways the cruel king could get the payment he had mentioned.

“My parents and friends, can you help them?”

Varus gave a pleading look. As if he was searching for the most gentle words to express hurtful truths. Nira knew what he wanted to say. He knew Nira knew what he wanted to say. Yet, he looked as if he was suffering trying to form the words.

“No,” Maven coldly replied in Varus’ place.

“But-”

“No. We have to get to the border in three days, and that is how long it will take. Also, with the guards escorting us, we will not be deviating from our path.”

Varus looked down, avoiding eye contact, and whispered, “Where do your parents live?”

“Hanbur,” she whispered back.

He looked up, shocked and worried.

“Hanbur? That town got hit hard by the Shivering. Matter of fact, the entire Southern Valley got hit hard. It didn’t help that the governor went into hiding to escape his debts right before it came.”

She didn’t know what “governor” meant. But he could be talking about the Provincial Grand Noble.

“Governor? Do you mean Count Olesten?”

“Yes, I believe that was the name I heard.”

“Do you know what happened to his belongings?”

“Lenders took them.”

“And his servants?”

“Like I said, lenders took them.”

So that was it? Her parents were gone. Taken, just like her. The life she had desperately tried to return to for the last year didn’t even exist anymore. It made sense; likely, that’s why she was sold as well. Just to make the poor Count some money to redress his debts. The cruel irony of waiting in that cell for months and months hoping to return home, and instead getting this. In the end, all of life was only god telling a sadistic joke with a sick punchline.

Tears started forming once again. Though by now, her eyes had very little to give. She could feel her chest tighten as her breath sped up. The pressure of losing her parents, her friends, and her parents once again forced her to the ground, an act she had gotten well acquainted with in the past few days. The cycle of nightmares continued.

“Nira, I don’t know how I should say this, but if you knew any of the servants under the count, they are most likely dead. Servants bought by lenders are usually sold immediately. But during winter, people need food, not more mouths to feed. There is no easy way to put this, but the Shivering most likely got them.”

This was too much. Her vision faded. She could feel her breakfast coming up. A dizziness washed over her and the floor of the carriage smacked her on the side of her face. It didn't matter. Any hope of happiness was now gone.

Varus rushed to her side and helped her back up onto the seat.

“What happened?” Maven asked, oblivious to the conversation behind him.

Varus ignored the question, and instead focused on Nira, rubbing her back to calm her down. But Nira felt no comfort here. She wanted to be home. Her breaths came quicker and quicker. Her heart beat followed suit. Her body trembled in the seat as her shattered world spun around her. Everything-

“No, stop. Don’t do this now, not in front of a stranger. Don’t show him any more weakness,” she thought, shoving her feelings into a corner of her mind. Tonight would be the hardest. Tomorrow would be a little easier.The day after, even easier. The trouble would come in some ill-fated night in the future, when the pain would resurface, bringing with it the vengeance of delayed time. Maybe she could get her hands on some vespum to help with those nights.

Varus finished bandaging her and then picked up a book from his luggage to read. Nira jumped to the front of the cart, as per Maven’s demands, and the next few parts of the day went by in this silence. Pages flipping. Hooves beating. Thoughts screaming. Nira stared at the empty fields as they passed.

“Sir Levedi?” Nira asked.

“Yes?”

“What are you and Maven?”

“Well I am a diplomat, and Maven here is my servant.”

“No, what are you really?”

Maven turned back and gave Varus a cold hard stare for a second before turning back to the eesems.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Varus said.

“Don’t lie to me. I know you aren’t a diplomat. Well. You might be a diplomat, but you aren’t just a diplomat. So tell me, what else are you?”

He sighed.

“We are part of a small group of people that want to make the world a better place. It is our opinion that life is a little unfair; you have some men with the power to raze cities while other men struggle to just feed their family, and unfortunately, it is those most powerful of men that end up being the cruelest. It might be some childish fantasy, but our small group wants to help those poor folk have some way to succeed in this harsh life. Our current project is the one I told you about already, the Enginus Steamus.”

“You told her already about the Enginus Steamus!” Maven screamed from the front. “Why do I even come? Every single rule I make, to protect you, is broken! At this point, I am at best a glorified carriage driver.” He continued muttering his thoughts. “It's over. They are never going to trust me again, and this will end up being my last trip with Roe and Rae. Storm, I will be the butt of all their jokes for the next month...”

“But why do you do all this? Why not just gain money and power by working for kings and queens?” asked Nira.

“Yesterday, the things I told you about the letter weren’t all true. But they weren’t all lies either. That letter really was written to me by an Academ, Castur Levedi, who worked for the University of Centum. And I really did find him near death, suffering from cold sickness, and nursed him back to health. But I lied about what else happened. He had been poisoned when I found him, and by not just any old poison, but the worst of them all. Widow’s Kiss. It doesn’t kill you directly, but it would be better if it did. The pain from the poison increases to such an extent that its victims commit suicide simply to be free. And suicide, according to the University of Centum, is the most disgraceful end for an Academ. They are stripped of their research, their stipend, and their awards. This is what Academ Levedi faced.

“I was merely a boy then, so I didn’t know what to do to counter the poison. The Academ instructed me to follow all these remedies, like putting sage in the fire or feeding him inger and oney. All things I later learned were simple fool’s errands. One night, the pain got so bad, he asked me to kill him. Stab him through the neck with a knife. I tried. I couldn’t. He comforted me in the days after. Can you imagine that? A man, enduring a lifetime’s worth of pain every single day, comforting a boy who endured nothing. Eventually, he reached his limit, and he left our shelter during one of the nights in the Shivering; a simple way to end things.”

Varus’ voice broke a little and a few stray tears rolled down his suddenly-aged face as he said, “That Academ wasn’t with me for long, but the lessons he taught me during those nights were the most important in my life. I may have not killed him, but I did fail to save him. That chest you found, every item in there is from a different person I failed to save.”

“You tried your damn hardest, and that is all you can do in life,” Maven interjected. “You’ve saved more than most.”

“If I tried my hardest, they wouldn’t be gone!” Varus lamented. His eyes were not just shining but burning. His words were strong, more determined and more absolute than she had ever heard from him. Even though a few tears dripped down his cheek, there was a ferocious intensity plastered across his face. And without warning, it all vanished. With a teary and broken voice, he continued, “When I was a boy, I made a promise to give the good men and women around the world a path to succeed. Every night since then, I fantasized about all the things I would do, all the people I would help, and all the good I would create. I didn’t plan on leaving even the worst behind. Now that I am older, I am no longer the boy I once was; the evidence is visible on my face everytime I pass a mirror, and yet, it feels as if it was only yesterday that I spent my nights with the Academ. You asked why I do this? It's a simple and pathetic answer: some men grow out of their fantasies, others don’t.”

He opened a book and ostensibly dove into it, but from his distant eyes, it was evident that he was seeing something else.

If this was an act, it was a damn good one. Nira wasn’t sure what to believe. The man in front of her today or the one she met yesterday? She followed her gut last time, and it nearly got her killed. She followed her heart before, and it led her astray. What would she follow this time, her mind? Half of it said to be cautious around the man. The other half said that this was some cruel and elaborate joke that the noble would end at any moment, and his true self would come back. But the smallest part, a part almost lost in the folds of her thoughts, said there was nothing else to lose so why not try…

“I want to join you.”

“What?” Varus asked, confused.

Nira turned and gripped the frame of her chair with trembling hands, and gave an awkward bow to Varus, her dark, knotted hair shrouding her face. Everything took more effort than it should have, and as she spoke, her voice became hoarser and rougher.

“I want to see my friends again and I wish to find the fate of my family, and being part of your group is my best chance to do so, so please let me join you. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I will work hard for you, I promise with my life.”

“Nira,” he said, looking at Maven and then back at her, “you are making a very serious request.”

“No. No, I’m not. I just want to help my friends and find my family. You said you help people, so help me!”

“Nira, the organization helps people, but we usually stick to Istria. You know better than anyone that King Leopole would slaughter us if he found us working in his lands.”

“I will wash your dishes. I will clean your clothes. I will be your best servant for the rest of my life. If this isn’t all a joke, then I will do anything I can to make you help me.”

“Nira, I don’t need servants, I need people who believe in my cause.”

“My parents were loyal servants until they were left to die. My friends, the kindest people I know, are all locked up in cages inside a castle. If this is how the world is meant to be, then I hate it. And I hate myself for being so powerless. So please, let me join. I don’t want everyone I love to suffer. It may be too late for my old family, but I can still save my new one. I’ll do anything you want. Anything. So, please please please, accept me.”

Varus stood up in the carriage as carefully as he could, with a stern look on his face, although the effect was marred because he wobbled every time the carriage hit a bump on the road.

“What you have asked for is a request which will span countries, involve risking our lives, and take months, if not years. A time during which you will need food to eat, clothes to wear, and a house to live in. Moreover, because of your status as a slave, everyone is eyeing you as just money, so your safety is also a concern. And to top it off, after we complete the job, you and your friends and family will need places to stay indefinitely. With all that in mind, there is only one place in the entire world that would accept you, and it is our estate in Istria.

“But, what we do there, we dedicate our lives to. I cannot have the people that live there be dead weight. There will be work involved, and it is work that I will not glorify. It will be demanding and the hours will be bad. To be curt, I will make sure you work your ass off. Knowing all this, do you still want to come?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“Then Nira, repeat after -”

“Hold it!” screamed Maven, “We are not letting a random person, picked up from King Leopole’s castle, come near our guild without at least a barebones investigation. She could be a spy for all we know.”

“But-” Varus began.

“Old man, didn’t you ever learn not to trust strangers? We have to be a little secretive to prevent our knowledge from falling into the wrong hands. If she wants to come, make her stay somewhere else first.”

“How am I-”

“Pull some of those favors you keep collecting, and while she is somewhere else, we will do our investigation, and then she can come.”

“Y- yes I suppose,” Varus replied to Maven, before giving Nira an apologetic look and saying, “Nira, he is right, I am sorry, but I will make sure you will be safe and that nothing bad will come. You have my word as a Levedi. After Maven’s investigation, you can come stay with us for as long as you wish. I think I have a friend at the border who could let you stay for a bit.

“This may be a little overdue, but let me formally introduce myself and my group. I am Master Varus Levedi, second to his name, and I represent the guild Pax Natura. I lead the design and development of our inventions, of which our guild has a few dozen, though none more important than the Enginus Steamus.”

Varus waited in silence, and then coughed a few times into his hand.

“I guess I will introduce myself as well. I am Maven Levedi, a stray that Varus picked up from the slums in Klobalth. I help Varus with all his travels and try to keep him out of trouble. I didn’t mean to be rude before, but I won’t sacrifice Varus’ safety for anything, even if he always willingly compromises it. In the spirit of honesty, I will be straightforward with you that if you wish to stay with us, you will have to earn my trust and the trust of the rest of our members; we won’t simply give it. We are not all as naive as Varus. And as a warning, know that I will be keeping a close eye on you, so don’t think about doing anything… unfortunate.”

They discussed the guild for a little bit longer, before each member returned to their own world. Maven guiding his eesems. Varus reading his books. Nira fighting her thoughts. And slowly, a strange new reality settled in for her. One where she realized that maybe, just maybe, for the first time in a long time, she could be in control. She, who had always acted the part that life had given her, would finally have a chance at rewriting the script.

“And your happy place. Think about your happy place.”