《Intergalactic Cultural Research》Preliminary Exam 1
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**San Francisco, California. 11:30 am , Intergalactic Knowledge and Trade Education Center. 2046**
Finlay P. Roberts Paced outside of his future test Kitchen, 15 minutes until it was his turn and he deeply regretted coming in early. 9th in line and he had watched 7 of his 8 predecessors storm out of the room with looks of frustration, tears and just general shitty moods. Whatever was going on in there, it had to be infuriating, 2 of his fellow young cooks had sworn off going for the second exam as they left and upon asking what just happened his only answer back was. *"NDA, can't tell you... some pure bullshit though..."*
Which did nothing but fuel his imagination, Were they expected to name some off-planet dishes? A cooking battle against an Alien chef seemed exciting... If not a bit soul crushing. It's only been 3 years since 1st contact, and it'd be another 5 before off-planet ingredients would be available to the public according to the News. Something about cross-species viability testing, his best guess was they were still figuring out what could be eaten by humans safely and what Human foods and Ingredients could be safely eaten for themselves. That was Half the reason he was here, he wanted to go and be apart of the Culinary research team on one of the super-stations. A pioneer in his field AND a free trip to space? Who'd pass up on that?
Apparently student 8 would, fleeing from the kitchen in a Furious manner. Looking to Finlay with little more than a "Good Fucking Luck Dude." before continuing to leave.
"Chef Roberts?" a Mantis-like Alien with a feminine voice set auto-translator peeked out of the Kitchen, Compound eyes didn't really tell him where she was looking, but his gut said they were focused on him.
"I-uh, I wouldn't call myself a Chef, no major accolades and all that, just a decent cook."
"I see, sorry for the mistake. As you no doubt Noticed, the kitchen is available early. Would you mind waiting just a few moments while the room is reset?"
"Not at all... I think I might be last examinee for today anyway..." looking back at some of the other Cooks, some were already packing it in... The anger from their fellow aspiring chefs, those who had been the most confident, who had also presumably failed, brought down morale.
"Lovely! You may address me as Chef Ziq'drie. I'll be your Proctor. I'll call for you when the test is ready." The compound eyes vanishing back into the Kitchen, the noise of metal clattering already sounding out.
...She... they? Whatever they were, they seemed friendly enough, if not a little shy. He turned to his other cooks, stressed faces looking at their Holo-Companions. Some idly petting them as they reconsidered their futures. His own Holo-Companion flitting around their head scanning him and sending information on his elevated heart rate. As cute as it was, the rapid movements were not helping... tapping the frame of his glasses he called for the hard-light creature to enter Idle mode.
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Another gift from the intergalactic Union, Holo-companions had basically replaced smartphones, acted as translation devices and to some a Viable replacement for flesh and blood pets. With a small implant at the temple and a choice of external input devices. Anything from general voice input to wedding rings now... They were handy and did their job, think of them as a support animal. Each taking the form of ones favorite animal from their Home planet. Finlay's was a Doctor-Bird, the National Bird of Jamaica. *Hummingbirds are cool.*
Moments later and Finlay stood at the counter admiring the space-kitchen, it was hard to all it anything else... everything was so sleek and clean and there were some things he couldn't recognize right away. There were 2 stove-top ovens, a Salamander, smoker, some large sous vide set-up, and 2 high-grade 3D-printers for some reason. A screen on the far wall was scrolling his volunteered information for his Proctor to read over, which he followed along with until he was told to begin.
* ROBERTS, FINLAY P.
* Age: 23
* Nationality: Human, Jamaican-American dual citizenship, Earth Born
* Eye color- Flecked hazel
* Hair : Black, Tight soft curls
* Skin tone: *Blonde caramel* (Inquire.)
* 7 years Culinary Experience
* Projected Chance of Passing exam: 12%
*"Well, that doesn't look good for me."*
"Mr. Roberts, I've been asked to Inquire about your described Skin-tone. If you're comfortable sharing that information."
"I'm surprised you guys actually took that as an answer... it's an Inside joke between me and my Mom. I'm Blonde Caramel since I'm so sweet... she told me to put that as my answer."
"Familial Bonds are a wonderful thing, Might I also ask what your middle initial stands for?"
"I... would prefer if you didn't. Just a personal preference, I got teased a lot in my younger years for it."
"Understood. Lastly before we begin, Shall we Compare Holo-Companions?" The mantis-like Alien Clapping their scythes together as the Hellspawn of a porqupine and a Python, appeared around their neck like a scarf. "My kind, the Kre'tee, Call this creature an Ebera-ta, they're Quite delicious when Steamed."
"Oh... Very...very cool." Swallowing his own fear of snakes down he called for his Holo-companion to come-out, the small bird flitting about with it's long tails swishing behind. "This is a Variant of Humming-bird. They aren't usually consumed... if at all." growing silent as the Alien chittered excitedly.
"It's an adorable specimen! a Much needed break from all of the predator Holo's I've seen today!"
"I know, Right!? So many Big cats and wolves around. It's nice to see something peaceful."
The two spent a few more minutes talking about some of the wackier Holo's they've both seen. Chef Ziq'drie was elated that there was apparently a small creature resembling her own people, claiming that she'll have to collect a specimen to send to her homeworld. Though as the time for Finlay's test approached, she had to abruptly end the conversation and explain what the exam would be.
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"While you may be very familiar with your Home world's cuisine. Joining The Intergalactic Culinary Research team will pit you against a great many you'd never have imagined, many of which I still haven't seen myself... Today you will be given a Fulgan Ingredient." Placing what Looked to Finlay like a shimmering purple bowling ball, in front of him on the Counter. "The Grandurr, infamous for infuriating new Chefs. This Exam will test your problem solving ability... I should warn you. Don't use any precious Family tools. You may ask questions, but I of course can not give you the solution. You may use anything inside this test kitchen to your advantage. Your objective is to collect the Liquid inside with as little waste as possible. You have 15 minutes... Begin."
"OH! shit, okay." Finlay picked up the grandurr, giving an experimental shake... he could feel the liquid slosh around... Alien coconut... or egg... one of the two. Time to use those questions then.
"Is this Grown or Laid by another creature?"
"Grown, I believe your people refer to it as a type of Fruit."
"...Eeeh... are the contents flammable or under pressure?"
"To an open flame it may light, but is quite resilient to heat. It is not under pressure."
"......Last question. Those 3D Printers... what are they for?"
"Hm? well, one is for the Production of Synth-meats. Not very efficient to have entire farms while traveling in space. The other is Tool manufacture. While experimenting with new ingredients, you may hit a roadblock... though it is set to only produce tools from this planet at the moment."
"...Holy shit, I think I got it." That was supposed to be an Inward thought, but he was surprised at the connections he had made on his own. In the flow of the moment he spun the grandurr in his palms looking for any kind of weak point, and finding none. he rapped his knuckles on the shell listening to the sounds it made... it was Almost metallic, whatever material this thing was made of, it was hard as hell, but thin like grape skin. "Spec, pull up 3D Print schematic of a Soldering Iron... High grade."
Walking over to the Tool Printer, his Holo sent the schematic and it was chugging away, producing said tool. Going by the silence of the Kre'tee he was either on the right track... or off by several Country miles. Snatching the tool as soon as the machine signaled it's completion, he picked up a large mixing bowl and ran it over to the Counter. Putting the Grandurr inside. he plugged the Soldering iron into the over-head outlet and pressed the tip to the Fruit, slowly cranking up the heat.
"... Correct me if I'm wrong Mr. Roberts. but isn't that tool meant for use in Electronics production?"
"You're spot on actually... it also makes for a great Burn tip if you're trying to engrave something on wood." Slowly twisting the handle in his hands as he worked, he could almost see the thin skin warp under the tools heat. "But, Since you told me not to use any precious Family tools... that told me normal means of puncture were going to be useless.. had to think outside the Box- er, Kitchen." With a stratifying Lurch, he felt the tip sink into the fruit and spun it around so the hole started to drain the milky contents, then reapply the too to form another hole, lifting it up to watch as the Grandurr drained into the mixing bowl. "FUCK YEAH!.... sorry."
"No Worries Chef Finlay... Congratulations on Passing the Test in... 3 minutes and 12 seconds. It wasn't the fastest time Terra-wide... but it's safe to say you got the most out of the Grandurr." He couldn't tell if Chef Ziq'drie was Smiling, but he damn sure felt proud.
"...I hope you don't mind my asking, but how many have passed this test terra wide so far?"
"186 thousand Humans, Your Species has broken the record for most passes in the Intergalactic Union... for the first round at least."
"Awesome!" Shaking the last few droplets out, he rolled the empty husk to the sink... well, fuck it. May as well taste of his prize. Taking a hanging Ladle down to dip into the liquid and bringing it to his Mouth.
"Finlay, I would-"
"***PBBBBBBTH!"*** Spitting out most of liquid he set off into a loud and desperate coughing fit. Bringing his head under the tap and washing his mouth out. it had to have been the most SOUR thing he had ever tasted, he could feel his body shudder under the invasive fluid, and that wasn't even enough to stop the alcoholic burn. An Evil Citrus Vodka.
"I should have warned you earlier... this fruit is usually diluted.."
He spent the rest of his remaining test time gargling out the sour taste before stumbling out of the exam room, sending most of the remaining students into a panic. Wondering what the hell had happened to him now. Seeing the quizzical looks on his peers faces. He could only manage a thumbs up and a croaked "I passed..." The warmth of the alcohol already working his way through his body, continued to stumble past the other. Most of them giving him pats on the back or cheering him on for clearing the first test. Their own spirits reignited as they saw it was possible.
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