《Yandere Survival Guide (What Not To Do)》Chapter 11 - Pretend to have another girlfriend
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Is this really happening?
It was dark and the blankets fell on top of us, but I could still clearly make out Saiki’s face in front of my vision.
Her eyes were closed, her long dark eyelashes pointing downwards, and she had a light blush on her cheeks as she kissed my lips softly.
Then, I snapped out of my frozen stupor, rising from the bed to turn on the lights.
“S-Saiki…!” I exclaimed, spinning to face her, my hands clambering against the wall behind me, searching for something that I can use as a weapon, “What the hell are you doing inside my apartment?! I thought I locked the door…!”
“What are you talking about, Naosuke? I’m your girlfriend, why wouldn’t I be inside your apartment?” Saiki giggled innocently, sitting up on the bed in her pink negligee.
“Because I never gave you my permission, nor my key?” I replied ludicrously.
Saiki tilted her head with a blank stare as though I had spoken in a foreign language.
“Anyways, you shouldn’t be here,” I said quickly, “not after what happened at the park.”
“What do you mean?”
The images of the park incident flashed back in my mind and I felt a wave of nauseousness hit me, but I held it in.
“You killed those guys at the park, Saiki…” I said slowly, “Does that not mean anything to you…?”
Saiki stared at me silently for a moment, before getting herself out of the bed to walk up to me. I took a step backwards cautiously but my back hit the wall.
“Naosuke…” Saiki said in a quiet voice, and I stared into her eerily blank scarlet eyes, “Those guys at the park were going to kill you and rape me if I hadn’t done what I had done.”
“…”
“I only did what I had to do to protect you.” Saiki said, “Because I love you.”
She stepped up, stopping right in front of me, her eyes staring up into mine. Then slowly, she raised herself on her toes, leaning into me to move her lips over mine. But I turned my head the other way, avoiding her kiss.
When she pulled away, I glanced down to suddenly see a hurt look on Saiki’s face; her eyebrows furrowed and a fixed frown perturbing her petite lips.
“Why…?”
“Why?” I repeated incredulously, “Saiki, you murdered five people at that park. Don’t you think there’s something else we need to be doing instead?”
“I already called my father and told him what happened after the incident, Naosuke,” Saiki said with a wince.
“Your father? What does that…”
“He’s informed the police and submitted our statements,” Saiki continued, “The police have already cleaned up the park, corrobated the evidence and said that since it was a clear case of self-defence, there would be no charges against either of us. They won’t require us to go into the station to make any further statements either.”
“Are you serious?” I said in disbelief.
Saiki turned away from me, walking to her bag that was placed at the side of the room. Then pulling her phone out of her bag, she walked back over to me, showing me the text messages from her father containing screenshots of internal police documents and reports about the incident at the park.
“My father is very well connected with numerous high ranking police officials in the Tokyo police department,” Saiki said, scrolling through the texts, “So the police have ensured that the process was as smooth as possible for us, see?”
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“Oh god…” I muttered, reading through the texts.
She wasn’t lying.
Not only was this yandere batshit crazy, but she also had the full power of the police force behind her.
“Besides, it was the truth anyways,” Saiki turned her phone screen off and smiled at me weakly, “So? Shall we go back to bed?”
I stood there, rubbing my hands into my face, filled with dread.
“Naosuke?” Saiki said, leaning down slightly to stare into my face.
I removed my hands from my face, “Huh, what did you say before?”
“Shall we go back to bed?” Saiki repeated, smiling again.
“Hahaha… yeah right,” I scoffed, “Listen Saiki, it’s the middle of the night and I can’t think straight right now about the whole police ordeal, but one thing I want to set straight first with you – don’t ever enter into my apartment again without my permission.”
“But I’m your girlfrie—”
“I don’t care if you’re the Empress of Japan!” I interjected angrily, “You don’t enter my home without my permission, do you understand, Saiki…?!”
Saiki went quiet, her head lowered, and her blonde fringe covering her eyes.
Oh crap.
Had I crossed a line with what I had said?
Was this the moment that she was going to finally stab me…?
“Saiki—” I said, but then she turned around, swiping her bag off the floor, then quickly paced out of my room.
I heard her shuffling around the living room, collecting some other items, then the front door of the apartment closed, leaving silence in its wake.
I sighed, scuffling a hand to my hair, then crawled back into my bed to sleep.
~x~
“Anyways, how’d it go?”
“Huh, what are you talking about?”
“Weren’t you playing a game about fighting off a psycho stalker? You said you were going to try out what I said yesterday, remember?”
“Oh, that’s what you’re talking about…”
Sitting out in the school grounds on some stone ledges, Koichi took the last bite out of his onigiri next to me while I stared at the barely eaten chicken mayo wrap I was holding. Both of us had bought our lunches from the cafeteria, not because we had money to spare, but because we were too lazy to prepare anything.
What a great idea that was, Koichi.
Following his suggestion to sneakily take away Saiki’s knife, I had ended up sexually assaulting a yandere, getting my ass beat by a bunch of punks, then witnessed the death of five people from our school.
From now on, it was probably a good idea to steer clear of any further advice from Koichi.
I sighed, shaking my head, then mumbled, “Yeah, totally worked out great man…”
“Told ya,” Koichi laughed heartily, “Girls are useless if you take away their weapons.”
A memory of Saiki hurling the oversized delinquent over her shoulder like a sack of hay flashed in my mind.
I couldn't believe I had actually planned to fight Saiki by simply taking away her knife…
“Koichi man…” I placed the wrap that I barely ate down next to me, then dropped my face into my palms, “God, I’m so screwed right now… why… why did I confess to her…?”
“What? You alright, dude?” Koichi stared at me, blinking in confusion. “It's already lunch, dude, and school’s bout to end in just a couple more hours, you don’t gotta be so damn down—”
I stood up from the stone ledge with a sigh, then walked ahead on the lively school grounds.
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“I'm gonna go for a walk man,” I told Koichi, waving a brisk hand backwards, “I’ll see you back at class after lunch.”
“Alright… h, hey, are you going to eat your wrap? Otherwise, um, can I…”
I waved my hand back at him again, gesturing that he could do whatever he wanted with the wrap. There was still a little time before lunch ended, and I wanted some time alone to clear my head.
Entering the main school building, I sauntered around aimlessly for a few minutes before settling down on some benches near the vending machines on a random floor. No one was around this area which made it the perfect location to brainstorm my next plan of attack for dealing with Saiki.
Not to mention, I needed some caffeine to jog my brain into action. I took a chug from the can of coke I had bought from the vending machine, then stared at the ground, trying to think.
Nothing came to mind.
No! Think, think, you useless brain!
‘Maybe you should just give up,’ my brain replied, ‘the yandere’s a fully versatile fighter that can lay 5 men to waste with her bare hands, is loaded with cash at her disposal, and her father has ties to the police force. I don’t see any scenario where you come out on top here.’
…
‘Your best move right now is to butter up the yandere and hope that she doesn’t chop you into tiny memento pieces in her sleep,’ my brain continued, ‘Hey, being with a yandere isn’t really that bad. At least she can cook you good food when you’re locked up inside her basement!’
Noooooooo!!
“Uhm… are you okay…?”
With my hands clutched over my head, I moved my eyes down from the ceiling and glanced in front of me at the girl with shoulder-lengthed violet hair and cerulean eyes looking at me apprehensively.
“M-Misaki…!” I stammered in surprise at the girl.
~x~
A cute face, spry expressions, and a pout so endearing that one was filled with the overwhelming desire to pinch her cheeks whenever she pouted.
In third grade back at where I used to live in Yamanashi before I moved to Tokyo, I had met an airhead that tried to eat a bar of chocolate with the wrapper still on. After suggesting to her to open the wrapper first before consuming the chocolate, the girl declared that I was a genius and devoted herself to following me around for the rest of elementary school much to the dismay of nine-year-old me.
We did eventually became good friends, although I never saw her again after elementary school… until today.
“N-Naosuke…?” The girl asked in a soft-spoken voice, peering into my face uncertainly.
“Yeah, it’s me!” I said, rising from the bench to get a better look at her face, “Damn, Misaki, I didn’t know you’re now going to school in Tokyo! And you’re even in the same school as me!”
“Uwah--! I-it really is you, Naosuke!” Misaki clasped her hands over her mouth in surprise, her school jumper covering half her hands due to her shortness. “I haven’t seen you since like five years ago! You’ve changed so much…!”
“Hahaha, really.” I laughed, “You still look the same as you did back in elementary school!”
She froze, then the ends of her lips twitch up to a smile, “I-I grew a little taller…”
I planted my palm down on top of her head, clamping over her airy violet hair with a shameless laugh, “Jeez, what are they feeding you, Misaki? You seriously need to eat more, I can’t believe you haven’t grown since elementary!”
“…”
“J-just joking…!” I quickly added, seeing the blank, soul-crushed stare on her face. “Anyways, how are you doing nowadays? What the heck are you even doing in Tokyo, Misaki?”
“I live in Tokyo now with my parents…” Misaki said slowly, gradually regaining her spirit, “They changed jobs as soon as I finished elementary school… Although I think they might had changed jobs because they thought I was getting bullied…” Then she shook her head fervently before throwing on a cute smile, “What about you, Naosuke?”
“You know, the usual story.” I said, “Parents thought the schools in Tokyo was better and off I went.”
Misaki nodded, then in a hesitant voice, “Uhm, is… is Sayuri still doing okay? I heard about what happened from her social media…”
“Yeah, of course!” I put on a smile. “Under my care, she’s living the best life possible! Actually, she’s staying at a hospital in Tokyo too, so we should go see her together next time!”
“Ah! Really!” Misaki perked up energetically, “I would love to!”
“For sure,” I replied warmly, “You knew her after all too, Misaki. I remember Sayuri used to love playing with you whenever you would come over to the house.”
Talking about Sayuri made my thoughts swim to Saiki and the heavy fog weighing down my head came back.
Then I glanced down at Misaki and suddenly a lightbulb switched on inside my brain.
That… that might actually work…!
But would it be too risky…?
No… there was a way for this to work and to guarantee Misaki’s safety…
Without notice, I shot my hands forward, grabbing onto Misaki’s shoulders and her body instantly went rigid, a bright red blush blossoming across her round face like wildfire.
“N-Naosuke! U-uhm um um, t-this is a bit too sudden…!!” She squeezed her cerulean eyes shut, mumbling rapidly to herself, “M-m-maybe in a more quiet and romantic place where we're alone an—!”
“Please, Misaki! I have a request of you…!”
“…”
~x~
“Hehe…” I snickered to myself, clutching the petite shaky hand of a short, crimson-faced Misaki standing beside me by the school gates.
As usual, Saiki was running late due to some after school duties she had to take care of first, being an honours student and involved with various school clubs like the Kyudo club. Consequently, the school grounds around us at this time were almost empty with only a few students thinly spread out here and there.
When Koichi had saw me standing like this, he simply whispered ‘good luck’ to me, then quickly made a break for it without saying anything else. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Koichi leave that quick before.
I glanced down at my phone in my other hand, checking the time. Saiki should be out soon.
“A-a… are you sure about this, Naosuke?” Misaki spluttered next to me, trembling in her boots, “It’s Saiki Kawano, right…?”
“Ah yeah,” I grinned at Misaki nonchalantly, “Don’t worry about it. You’re seriously doing me a huge favour, Misaki!”
“But she’s not going to believe I’m your g-g-girlfriend… I don’t look like anything compared to how pretty she is…”
“Trust me, Misaki, you’re really cute! You just gotta have more confidence in yourself!”
“…!”
“Ah, anyways, there she is! She’s coming out now! Just follow my lead, okay.”
“A-alright…”
We waited at the school gates, staring across the school grounds at Saiki as she left the school building. Heading to the school gates, she didn’t notice us for a while, until she eventually glanced over at us and froze for a few seconds before slowly making her way over.
“S-she looks super angry…!” Misaki whimpered in a frightened tone.
“That’s just your imagination.” I laughed, dismissing her concerns.
Gradually, Saiki was getting closer to us from across the school grounds and the closer she got, the more we saw that her beautiful face was utterly dark, exhibiting none of the graceful subtleties that would normally light up her features. Her scarlet red eyes glistened like pools of blood, gazing directly at Misaki in a manner that reminded me of a predator with tunnel-vision on their prey.
“Y-you know what,” Misaki let out a meek squeak, “I forgot that my mum told me to go home early today so…!” Then she tried to turn tail and run, but I grabbed her hand tightly, refusing to let go.
“W-what?! You can’t bail on me now, Misaki...!” I yanked her back in position, my own voice now starting to shake with fear, “What’s going to happen to me if you go...?!”
“U-um, I’m sorry, Naosuke!” Misaki pleaded, “H-how about I promise I will take really good care of Sayuri in your place…?”
“Are you telling me to die…?!”
“Uwaaah—! It’s no fair!” Misaki flailed her arm like a jellyfish, struggling and failing to get out of my grip, “You’re always making me do stuff I don’t want to do even back in elementary school…!”
“Hey, don’t make me sound like a bully! Are you talking about that time we played around with bugs?! That was your idea to dig up the dirt…!”
Wrestling Misaki in place to keep her from fleeing, I didn’t even noticed the dark presence standing behind us until it was too late.
“Looks like you’re having fun, huh, Naosuke…”
We froze, hearing the quiet seething voice of the devil, then slowly turned around to face Saiki.
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