I was a witch, a human, among children who were not, and so I was bullied. They were mostly pranks, but the feeling of not belonging did get to you no matter what.

I was around five years old when one particular prank happened. I was standing with my back against the wall of the village school, surrounded by kitsune cubs.

“You just need to go into the forest and bring back two strands of Nibi’s tail fur,” Kohaku, the leader of the cubs, said. He then crossed his arms and continued. “Surely, you can do that much? You’re a witch, after all.”

The other fox cubs joined in a sing-song voice, “You’re a witch, after all. You’re a witch, after all.”

I put my hands on my hips and huffed, my cheeks going round as I said, “Okay! Okay, I’ll do it. I just need to do it, right?”

Kohaku grinned as he nodded, arms still crossed. The other cubs cheered, and I almost felt like they were cheering for me—if I didn’t know they were cheering for my anticipated failure. I nodded back as I chewed on my bottom lip to release the nerves.

“I will be back soon!” I called and the cheering got louder as I entered the forest around the village.

***

There were Japanese black pine trees towering me all around, and I couldn’t tell one apart from the other.

My lips wobbled.

I was lost.

And so, I flopped down on the grass and started crying my heart out.

Why?

Why did I have to be a human? Why couldn’t I be a kitsune like my older brother Hitomaru or my father Wored? If I was a kitsune, I could smell my way through this forest and go back home.

Home…Where was my home?

Would I be lonely now until I died of hunger?

“I don’t want that,” I stretched out the last word into a whine as my crying got louder and louder. Some birds took flight, startled by the noise I was making.

Then I heard him.

“Hello?”

My eyelids fluttered as I looked around, too tired to be scared but still surprised.

I could see nothing but trees and bushes all around me.

“H-hello?” I called out.

One of the bushes rustled and a head popped out of it. It was a kitsune cub around my age and he had a peculiar look to him. He had fox ears atop his head, of course, but one was black and the other was white. His hair that came to his chin was straight and split in the middle into black on one side and white on the other.

“Who are you?” I asked, defensive but still intrigued. It was my first time seeing a kitsune with such an interesting appearance.

He came out of the bushes and walked over to me. He moved gracefully in his traditional Japanese clothes despite his age. As he bowed in greeting, I saw that he had two tails—one black and one white.

“I’m called Kon,” he answered as he bowed. “Who are you?”

“Why are you bowing?”

Kon tilted his head to one side and said, “Mother told me to bow when I greet someone. Why aren’t you bowing?”

Oh.

I rushed to my feet and bowed as I blushed. “I’m called Maze. Pleased to meet you, Kon.”

We stared at each other.

“Pft.”

We started chuckling at the same time, and I never finished the errand I had come to do.

***

“What are you smiling at?”

I blinked out of my thoughts and turned to Kon, who was not a cub anymore but a teen. I think he would be around the age to start this high school thing humans went to.

I was, too, though I had refused to go to human school despite my father’s insistence.

However, the subject of my hatred wasn’t humans tonight. It was one certain kitsune who had asked for two strands of Kon’s tail fur all those years ago.

“Maze?”

I smiled and shushed him. “Shhh, we need to be silent. Wear your mask.”

He nodded as he put on a cloth to cover his nose and mouth and I started burning the herbs in my hand.

We were outside the window to Kohaku’s room, and the smoke rising from the herbs easily made its way inside. With a little bit of magic, they were just the right things to make sure that the fox stayed asleep.

We waited for a while to make sure he was out for the night, and then we slipped inside.

The room had a drawer, a desk for studying, and our victim was sleeping on a futon, mattress, on the tatami floor. He had red hair, and if he opened his eyes, they would be green like mine—which I hated.

Anyways.

“Did you bring the blade?” I whispered, and Kohaku’s ears twitched so we froze as we waited to see if the herbs weren’t enough, and he would wake up after all.

Kohaku sniffled and turned his back to us as he scratched at his exposed tummy.

He was as crude asleep as Kon was graceful as he took out the blade from the folds of his clothing.

Kon’s tails swished around as he bit on his bottom lip.

“Are you sure we should go through with this?”

I looked him in the eyes and whispered back. “I am.”

Then I took the blade from him and tiptoed to Kohaku’s side. I knelt on the floor, not as graceful as Kon but still, my motions must have been interesting to look at because Kon was staring.

Or maybe he was staring at the blade.

I shook my head and started shaving Kohaku’s head with the blade. The slide of the blade over skin was harsh because of the dry hair and nothing to soften the glide, but it was still working.

I giggled as I watched a clump of red hair fall onto Kohaku’s pillow. Did that make me a terrible person? I didn’t think so.

And so, I continued carefully shaving his head bald until it was clear of all hair. Then I looked at my masterpiece and chuckled once more.

He would freak out when he woke up.

***

He never woke up.

He never woke up and it was my fault—something about allergies to the herbs I had used and the shaving taking all his energy left to fight it.

The village was all in an uproar, and the village elders were in discussion over what to do with me.

Kon, my father, and my older brother tried to take the blame for it all, but the elders didn’t allow them to speak. They were kitsune after all, and I was not.

They already saw me as the enemy and this incident only gave them further ammunition. I didn’t blame them.

I was the enemy.

***

“Maze?” Kon asked as he entered the room, and I sniffled as I kept my back turned to him where I lay. We were in my bedroom and I was on my futon.

“Maze, please.”

“What do you want?” I croaked, my voice cracking both from disuse and from crying the whole week away.

I wanted to cry the rest of my life away, too.

I had killed someone, like the humans who had killed my mother.

I was a human, too.

I was a human.

A filthy human, like Kohaku used to say.

The words “used to” made me start crying anew, and I curled on my futon in a fetal position.

Then I felt Kon get closer and sure enough, he knelt by my side. He said nothing as he sat beside my futon and started to stroke my hair in soothing motions.

My breathing hitched, and my crying got louder as I turned to Kon and hugged his waist.

“I killed him,” I cried as I clung onto him like a child.

Kon said nothing as he continued to stroke my hair, and that felt nice.

So nice, but I didn’t want nice things anymore. I didn’t deserve them. I wanted to let him go but couldn’t, and I just cried until I could cry no more, staining his clothes with tears and mucus.

Then I fell asleep as he continued to stroke my hair.

I didn’t notice that he was crying, too.