AN: I swear on me mom, it took so long only because of this piece of shit chapter, I just never felt that it was very good or at least much better in my head and as such changed it a fuckton or could not ever finish it for a long time.

“I have crippling depression.”

Don't care now, here it is, I am out.

Fuck yall <3.

Artjem POV

So there they stood.

On a wide hill under the dark sky, with rotten soil beneath our feet and no wild life far and wide. Only the disgusting and unnatural inhabitants of these lands would occasionally show up and make abstract sounds, and ruin the otherwise completely quiet atmosphere that was currently predominant.

There were 9 actual heroic humans on their adventure in those hellish lands.

The first, a true alpha male, he is so cool and awesome that his awesomeness is off the charts. All the ladies get their panties wet when they even hear anyone mention his name and it has been told that he could walk into a castle and the king would beg for him to take the virginity of his daughter.

That heroes name is of course Artjem of the house Boranin and he gets all the pussy, so says the legend.

On the other hand, opposing him stood one boy, surrounded by 2 beautiful humans of the female gender. ( AN: Did he just assume their gender?????)

One of the woman was an adorable, hopefully already legal player that looked accusingly at our heroic hero of legends. She was just to adorable to handle and somewhat cheeky, our hero could not help but think of that spicy little ass of hers and also felt it was impossible to be mad at her... She was of course deceived by a despicable boy and was protecting him instead of being on the side of reason.

Next to her stood a woman that was stunningly beautiful and hot. She was most likely an inspiration for a lot of lonely virgins at their lonely nights, if the first was adorable and awakened your instincts to protect her then the second one would be the so stunning that she was hard to approach if you lacked an unshakable self confidence. She too was currently on the side of this demon but unlike the other one, she treated everything with humor and was currently very amused by the situation more than mad.

Opposing them and strangely on the side of our amazing and awesome hero stood another man. He was a giant among all humans, one that was without a doubt far inferior to our main character and only a shitty beta male, but he still was not thaat bad, one had to admit. He was also a huge dick by the way. Our hero could honestly not see what the stunning beauty found in him but he did not mind as he already did set his own eyes on the adorable one and was not a fan of harems.

Or let me paraphrase it, it was not like he did not wish for it, it was more like he had some degree of self awareness and knew that it was hard enough to establish enough trust between let alone two people for a relationship to work, far harder for 3 and more...

Then there was the boy himself, the only reason for this standoff... A disgrace of the male gender, one that our hero could not respect and one that pissed our heroic hero the fuck off, little cunt. The reason for that being that he acted like a little bitch of course and as such was not worthy to be in the presence of our heroic main character and needed to be taken care of. In the eyes of our hero he was unfit to travel with them and needed to piss off.

There were also two other that persons of great potential right next to them. Two children of which one was so humbly and heroically accepted by our amazing main character and would without a doubt grow up to be a beautiful woman that would fuck a lot of shit up. Hopefully together with her new adoptive father so they would share those moments together and maybe even form a touching bond...

The other girl was a complete mystery, one that no one could understand and one that was a combination of a drooling mentally ill child that strangely had intelligent eyes and sometimes behaved much older than she should...

And even though no one was paying attention right now, two more figures were still missing this scene. What no one knew however is that they hid behind a giant stone a few hundred meters away.

It was an eerie atmosphere that surrounded our heroes right now. The heavy silence between our characters, the abstract sounds from all around this area.

If you payed close attention, you could even hear screams and moans as if a poor woman was tortured or something somewhere next to them and tried to keep it down, but failed miserably...

Mysterious...

“Hey buddy.” I called out to the kid that was still wearily watching me from distance and behind two girls like a little bitch. “I still did not quite see how you were fighting, how about you show it to us?”

Without waiting for an answer I went off and baited another of the beasts. Like a hungry animal it ran up to me and without great effort I kicked its guts, forcing it to kneel before me and packed its big black snout like thing.

“Here you go buddy, just common enemy that poses absolutely no real threat as everybody could see.” I threw it in front of him. “No pressure, just curious.” I gave him an innocent smile and retreated.

Nobody seemed to have a problem with that aside from the boy himself and all retreated. Even the girls could not really object to it since it was not bullying of any kind and they to admitted that he should be able to deal with it. Now something like a circle was formed around him and all eyes was on him.

“10 gold that he will get fucked up in 30 seconds.” I whispered to Calvin.

He frowned. “What am I supposed to do with 10 gold? 100 gold that he won't even stand 20 seconds.”

“Deal.” We fist bumped each other. “What about whether he mouth or butt fucked by it?”

Calvin now snorted with a mocking smile. “As if that stands for question.” We shared an evil smile together.

“Why do you two have to be such jerks over it?” Elena asked with a strange smile.

“Yes, leave that poor kid alone, not everyone has to be an ass like the both of you! So what if he is lacking in some areas, every one deserves basic human respect!” Daisy added with an angry look as she glared at me, to which I shrugged her off.

I beg to notice that I did not flip her off like I would do mostly anyone else. See how differently I treat her to the rest? See how lov... affection changes one person? Aren't I a romantic?

“And to teach you jerks a lesson I will participate, 1000 gold that he is gonna win.” Daisy added and we accepted.

And just like that the beast stood up from the ground and instinctively recognized in what kind of situation it was. The youth that was slightly trembling if front of it looked like the weakest of all of us, mind you there were two children present.

So the beast attacked the youth as its biggest chance of survival. In other words, I had really to contain myself from laughing out loud when I noticed that little but oh so significant detail.

Hilarious.

It did not take long at all for the monster to jump at the kid with its snout sticking out and ready to invade into wet and warm body areas.

And how could I, as the gentleman that I am, not follow up by shouting “FUCK HIM UP BOIII!”, naturally towards the monster.

The slaughter slash violation began with the beast running towards the quite frightened boy, its hands were ready to hold him down and the snout already aiming where it would feel nice warm and comfortable.

Of course this enemy was common tier, even below silver which was already trash tier in my eyes, the only danger it posed is when it entered you with its snout and would suck your soul out or some stuff like that. Physically it was weak and it had no other real attacks, imagine a drunk hobo attacking you without any weapon and of course he is shitfaced, really funny if at all but not something you would fear.

At most you would be startled by such a scene or if you were a real pussy you would really be deadly afraid, but looking at the situation calmly and as a whole, one would recognize that unless you were retarded, just like me irl by the way. There was nothing to fear and even better, you now had an excuse to fuck up a hobo and even call the police afterward for the shameless points.

But enough with the hobo, there was a teenager about to be violated in front of me right now.

However this was not me but a common teenager and as such he did not go in the offensive like it would be recommended but instead tried to be defensive, which is a nice way to say that he was to busy shitting himself.

The moment the monster reached him I was already anticipating what might come next but to my surprise I was disappointed as the boy activated a skill of his. Of course since he was not a mage class he did not shout the name out and so I had no idea what it was called, however what it did was let him disappear in a blur and evade the attack while at the same time letting 5 slashes appear in his direct line of sight and made him teleport like 7 and a half meters forward.

“Nice skill.” I commended that ability but also only it and nothing more.

However now that he used that one ability, he would have a long cooldown on it like mostly any class in this game with the exception of assassin classes like myself, mind you my [Shadow Stab] and the basic damage dealing spell on mage type classes.

Just like I said, as soon as the beast recovered from the one stab it received, it instantly turned around with a bleeding back and made some angered noises towards the kid.

The little smug smile that he had before was instantly replaced by a look of fear and self doubt.

“Bitch.” I called out for him to hear.”

“Cuck.” Calvin added.

Immediately the boys face had a hurt and ashamed expression as tears were about to leak from the corners of his eyes. It really was pitiful, my black dead heart almost gave a shit :(

“Hey, cuck, what a nice insult that I have not heard in a while.” I gave Calvin a thumbs up. “Thanks, gonna use it from now on.”

“Broaden your horizon buddy..” He gave me a slight smile. “To be honest your vocabulary is quite limited, especially in your insult department, it is quite disappointing honestly, one would expect more, especially from someone such as yourself. Fag this, bitch that.” He shook his head in disapproval. “Come on, I know you can do better.”

Nonetheless, the fight before us continued and while Calvin told me a few new and creative insults, I at least paid it a quarter of my attention to what was supposed to be the main event.

At the same time the youth was still trying to distance himself from his enemy and mostly trying to survive which was not such a smart decision for a melee class one might say, but his class was a little special after all...

Now I know what some might be thinking: “But Eeertjeem, hje aljready cjame soo fhaar, hjow comes he such suu moch dick at thes Gayme?”

Well my imaginary friend that I am talking to for some reason in my head right now, I also have only limited explanation for that. First of all, this game is not just a game, it is a world that most people spend 90% of their lives in except for sleep and basic human needs, which by the way can also be bypassed. Now add the fact that it is fully immersive and lets you feel all the good and bad shit that is happening to your avatar and you get closer to the reason why such people exist that are afraid of trash mobs. But was that all, it would still not be as bad as with the boy. There is another fundamental flaw with people such as himself, the world has been changed for at least 20 years or something now, kinda didn't give a shit and did not bother to count, so yeah. His generation was born into a world where they were given head jacks to spend most of their live in virtual worlds, probably without going ever out, imagine such an immersion.

Plus I suspect that he is a natural bitch, fearful of everything and been living a sheltered live where he was supposed to ask for permission to do anything, where the smallest injury or show of his individual was treated by his parents with negativity which left a mark on his psyche.

Now he ran away from home or some shit to prove to himself but much more to his dictator like parents that he is more than that.

Hows that for an explanation?

So yeah, right now the kid was keeping distance while also doing something special to his class.

Let me ask you something, have you seen those dumb old anime with swordsmen that do something that defies the sense of melee? What I mean are those dumb sword swings that send some wave forward from their swords that damages the enemy. It is a class specific passive, every 5 seconds a blademaster can swing one of his swords with power and send an air wave or something like that, that does 70% of the damage, a pretty nice mechanic that makes blademasters deadly on the battlefield when it comes to their versatility.

Damn, maybe I chose the wrong class...

Anyhow, while I was having a nice conversation exactly in my taste this was what was happening in the fight in a nutshell.

“Wait wait wait!” I called out irritated, still talking to Calvin about possible insults. “How can I use nigger openly as an insult? That is.. you know... racist! Right?”

Calvin snorted. “Pff, What is racism? Basically treating someone differently and more importantly worse on the basis of their race and or skin color. Now here is the question, if two black people are allowed to call each other nigger but I am shamed by them for doing the same, who of us is the real racist? And do not give me any of that historical bullshit, ain't this have anything to do with that! I did not have any slaves and never mistreated anyone based on their race, that would be plane idiocy, there are enough cunts already so I do not have to go out of my way to make enemies. It is just the biggest socially accepted hypocrisy there is. In my opinion nigger is a perfectly acceptable insult or word in general, just... be ready for unjustified retaliation, it could go as far as such hypocrites beating you up and then being on the justified side... Just treat it the same way you treat the word gay.”

“hmm.. I'll think about it.. Still seems wrong to me.” There is just something wrong about using that word, at most I would do that in my head but would never say it out loud.”

“Pff, again with the social stigma, well whatever. Now for the next insult, it is basically an relic of the past but “Sarah Jessica Parker” is a really nice one and even more, nobody will even know what you are talking about...”

Just like that our intellectually challenging discussion continued with our onlookers giving us dumbfounded stares.

At that moment I heard a high pitched scream and looked to where it came from. The kid lost his footing and was about to be assaulted with a horrified expression. In the meantime the beast behind him was bleeding from small cuts all over its body but did not look like it cared at the moment, the thing it wanted the most right now was to get rid of him in its own special way and to maybe escape from us, who knows.

'Yes baby, this time ain't nobody gonna stand in my way' Our little morally ambiguous discussion had to stop and all attention went towards the kid as my wolfish grin returned.

With its hands it grabbed the kids legs and started to pull him to itself while also having its snout slowly entangle itself around its leg like in that one Japanese animation I once saw.

More then once.

A quick question: You see one of your.. well, not friends, but somebody you know and not necessarily despise, you see them about to be raped by a tentacle like snout.

What do you do?

A: You run up to them and help that person at all costs.

B: Run away since you can not help but also do not watch what will happen next.

C: Start recording.

Well, I have no idea what any of you imaginary people my hypothetical question is directed to might have chosen, by boy do I know what I chose!

As fast as possible I started to record started to circle around the scene to get a better angle.

And just when I get in the perfect place from where one could see the two main actors, with an amazing scenery behind them and a calm gray sky that completed the picture, the action was about to start but did not.

With a sense of deja-vu the monster above the kid was blown away by a lightning strike and died as its health was quite low.

The muscles on my face started to convulse and my emotions steered. With a feeling of massive anger and annoyance I called out “Elena, god fucking dammit, do you have a special problem with me? Do you hate me so much? I am sure there is a special place in hell for people like you!”

As a response she just giggled. “That went far enough, that poor kid was so scared, he forgot that he could log off. Come on, this could lead to some serious trauma after all and we are here to have fun.”

“Yeah, yeah, the only reason I have done this shit was to show that he is a little bitch. Mission accomplished, can he fuck off now?” I pointed my finger at the boy.

At this moment I saw the boy on the floor started to get his eyes watered. “What, you gonna start to cry now, bitchfaggot?” I felt somewhat disgusted. “Is this the first time someone has ever pointed out that you are a little bitch? Not experienced with this kind of situation enough to handle it?”

“God damn it Artjem!” Daisy and Elena came up to him and started to support him. “Don't listen to him, he is a cunt. And so what if you lack in certain areas, there are always ways to improve!” Elena helped him up and dusted him off.

To my side someone did not look like he liked that scene very much.

“For example, I am sure that once you start to apply strategy then you would at least improve multiple times.”

“zero times anything is still zero...”

“Shut up cunt!” Elena called out annoyed and angry.

“Why does everyone keep on calling me cunt always...”

“B-but I am not super smart, how can I possibly do those things like plan ten steps ahead and smart things like that?”

At that Elena laughed and Calvin facepalmed. “Calvin, can you pleas explain it to him?”

He snorted but complied. “Your understanding of strategy is very naive, what is strategy?

It is nothing else but thinking.

The first step is you think about yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. What you can do best and in what situations you are worst. Consider all of this and think about ways where your strengths may be used against you and you can use your weaknesses against your enemies.

For example, I am tanky and deal good decent damage, I am not afraid at all to go all in. Now the enemy might also be aware of this and may bait me to go in so that I have no way to go out and either kill me or keep me there, so I become useless.

Second step. Now consider that maybe your enemy is also not completely braindead and also might think about his strengths and weaknesses, so you might think what you would have done if you were in his situation and act accordingly, plan ahead.

It is not that you will 100% be sure what will happen next, this is not how strategy works. It is that you are aware of EVERYTHING that he might do and to have a countermeasure for all of this, this is how strategy works.

Me for example, I simulate fights in my head often and just think of ways I might be outplayed and then develop strategies against it.”

I thought about it and then laughed suddenly. “Funny how you mentioned the thing about our enemies, because up till now we have not really faced an outstanding “not braindead” enemy.”

Calvin just shrugged it off. “Probably gonna be the really big bosses.”

“Hmm, it is almost as if this was a story but the author is really incompetent and as such has all the enemies barely capable. To make us look better, you know. Standard strategy of amateur writers.”

“What?” Calvin looked weirdly at me.

“Nothing.”

“...Anyway, you can start to think about that from now on, watch the enemy and recognize its paterns, develop countermeasures for them and so on.

But honestly, you are just a sheltered kid trapped in his comfort zone. If you ask me, then you will need a drastic change in your character or a dramatic experience that will change you and if not, then you will stay like that...”

The kid quieted down but was still consoled by the girls.

Calvin then suddenly came up to me. “By the way, can I see the letter from the quest? Kind of forgot up till now. You did let the mother write a letter to the king, right?”

I laughed. “Pff, am I gay or something? I did something much better. Here!” I sent him a video file. “I recorded her. Was really awkward, a lot of tears and sobs, revelations, like watching a drama.”

He watched it quietly and laughed. “Interesting..”

With a smug smile I was about to say something smug, but just when my mouth opened, I received a notification.

Dear Artjem B.

We are happy to see that your recent accomplishments in our humble world are extraordinary and to that we want to congratulate you with all of our heart.

Unfortunately with the video you released we noticed a mistake, that we have to admit is only on us. When your class was designed, it was the early alpha and as such the design department at that time was fairly inexperienced which one can see in form of your second ultimate [ Shadow Clone ].

Additionally we received a lot of complaints adding to the fuel regarding the unfair balancing of that ultimate.

Regarding this we have to congratulate you! You are one of the few who will receive a, let's call it update to your class.

The new [ Shadow Clone]: Now costs 10 energy points. When using summons a clone 7.5 meters in the direction of your choosing. From now on every time you want to swap places with it, it will cost 4 points and you won't be able to swap places for 4 seconds after that.

We wish you the best.

With regards,

The M n' M team.

I read all of it and for a moment my mind blanked.

I think I started to scream in anger afterwards, I can't really remember.

AN: To remind you all of things that stand open in this story right now, in case you do not want to go back to reread it.

You lazy fucks.

All of it has been at least mentioned subtly in the story till now so is not really spoilerly, if you don't have the feeling then maybe you just missed or forgot it.

You stupid cunts.

Artjem: Supposedly has a wife and a child, but has no contact with them for some reason.

His Grandma that he met in the very beginning of the story is about to die a natural death.

Can not get it up (his dick) and is generally messed up in the head, is concentrated on suicide and has only not done it until now because he was distracted by the new game and his new friends.

His class is still unfinished, lacks essential... knowledge to optimize it.

Hannah and his strange relationship with her. This can only go good, right?

Elena and Calvin: Their relationship is still complicated and Calvin at least tries to avoid it more or less while Elena pushes it.

Has been mentioned that they both started Might and Magic because Elena intentionally screwed it up for them in their last game, so that they could have a new fresh start, worked great so far.

There are a few teammates from their old game that have also come to M&M to look for them.

Have great teamwork and are overall good players, but still lack that something special that will distinguish them from the rest.

Daisy: Is something like a NPC, is not clear until now.

A weird relationship with her mother, also unclear.

Also deals with depression but in her own way and for her own very justified reasons (that are also not clear until now.)

Is an elite in this game, has been low key in the story up till now.

Benjamin: Plays the game as a way to distract himself, deals with guilt and covers it up with his bullshit excuse of having a goal to finish this game.

Still not clear why he has killed the two people, but not that hard to guess either.

Other things like who Fiora is and why his gaming experience is so.. strange.

What this strange voice was that he heard and what it will mean for his future.

The unique mastery he unlocked and the ultimate he has not used till now.

His inability to have a healthy and working relationship.

Others: The king and his parents and their quest.

Uroboru and this whole ordeal.

Rust and his quest.

The one guy “Dick Bush” That wanted to rope them in his guild. The party they will do the next Instance with.

A supposed test that has to be done before that same instance without which you can not enter.