He could not have imagined that one could feel so numb and hollowed out as this while also feeling so heavy that it hurt to stand. Yet here he was; numb, confused and still standing. He had finally left the cold of Snowdin, with no small degree of reluctance, upon the desperate order of his close friend and teacher, Undyne.

It had only been a few days since he had found out about the tragedy that had turned his life upside down but it felt like an entire lifetime was clinging to his shoulders now.

Why?

Why of all days, of all people, of all places... why had his brother chosen to take his job seriously on the one day that a human arrived on his route?

He had been acting strange before the incident. Papyrus knew his nightmares had gotten worse despite his brother trying to hide it from him. The night before he had- before his brother had been murdered, Sans had awoken in a cold sweat and had refused to go back to sleep. The only thing that had consoled him at all had been Papyrus letting him snuggle up in his race car bed with him well into the late morning. Sans had needed reassurance that he was still there and that whatever dream he had had was not real.

They had both fallen somewhat ill after that. They had felt sort of dizzy and disoriented like they were about to come down with something nasty. The whole world seemed to spin and flicker for a while. Like the Underground was trying to talk over itself.

Papyrus had been sure that Sans being the lazybones that he was, would take the odd morning as an opportunity to call in sick.

Too much snow, socks too dirty, just not feeling it- those had all been excuses used to slack off or take a day off in the past. Yet on that day… that horrible, fateful day… despite not feeling well, Sans had insisted that he needed to get to his station.

“just need some fresh air s’all. time to clear my head, ya know? then I’ll be right as r…rain.”

He had gone in early. He had been alone.

He did not come back.

When Papyrus came to check up on him a few hours later and nag him about the shameful state of his puzzles, he was greeted by the silence of dust instead of snoring.

Papyrus closed his eyes on the memory so that his tears could not leak out. He buried his face against the soft white fur lining of his brother’s red-stained coat. It still had his smell on it. The smell of ketchup and too much time spent in Grillby’s. The smell of pine and the strange persistence of ozone. They were the smells that reminded him of home. A home which now sat empty and lightless without him.

When Papyrus had found his brother- well, what had been left of him- he had tried to find the human on his own at first. He was angry. He was hurt. But most of all he just wanted to know why. Why?

For some reason he did not understand, an image clung to the corners of his mind whenever he thought about the human. It was the image of a frightened face illuminated by blue in the early haze of a synthetic morning; red hair streaked with a dirty shade of white. The image became fuzzy and soon ran away from him if he tried too hard to think about it, but the scene always came with a deep seeded feeling of realization that this half-familiar face knew only fear.

It made him question his current situation. What if the human had just been scared? What if they didn’t know any better? It had to have been a mistake! Sans had always been so kind. If someone had meant him harm then surely they had been pushed to it out of a misunderstanding, right?

Maybe if he had searched just a little bit longer he could have found her before she had been able to hurt anyone else. Maybe if he had found her on his own he could have helped her leave the violent path that was unfolding before them now.

But when Alphys had checked her cameras to see why no one was checking in with their stations, she had alerted Undyne before Papyrus had had a chance to get very far in his personal search.

When Undyne reached him on the phone her desperate tone was far flung from her usual self. She had been so relieved when he had answered her. So glad that he was alive. So angry about what had happened to Sans.

She had ordered him to go back to Snowdin and help the remnants of the already decimated canine unit evacuate the townsfolk, then take the last boat out to Waterfall to meet up and give her his report. She was so busy evacuating Waterfall and juggling updates from Alphys that it had delayed her arrival.

The human arrived in town shortly after Papyrus had boarded the ferry. The remaining forces of the canine unit made their final stand in the snow without him.

He had not been there to help them. He had not been there to support his neighbors.

Maybe if he had been, he could have talked the human out of killing everyone. Maybe he could have made them understand.

In the back of his mind he knew all too well that Undyne had called him out to give that report because she had not wanted him there when the human arrived.

Sure, he wasn’t an official member of the Royal Guard yet. He was still a civilian that she wanted to evacuate. But it weighed heavy upon his chest when she tried to pull him away from the action as if he wouldn’t catch on to her scheme.

But by now, several days into the chaos, she was grudgingly beginning to accept his stubborn company. The guard was stretched too thin for her to be picky. She had even planned to give him some armor the last time their trail had lead them past her house but an emergency call had dragged them away before he could put anything on.

In any other circumstance he would have been thrilled to the point of tears at the prospect of being given an authentic Royal Guard uniform. Real armor and a real mission! He was working alongside Undyne like they were real partners at long last. Not long ago this had been his greatest dream. But now her company felt grim. The mission was an exhausting tax on his soul and the responcibility felt impossibly heavy upon his shoulders.

The human had finished off Snowdin before Undyne could get there and had slipped into the eerie tranquility of Waterfall while their heads were still spinning.

So now her massacre continued.

It was strange to see so much dust. It was strange to think that those piles of chalk and ash had once been people he had known. It was strange that Waterfall could continue to look so peaceful while hiding such a grim truth under its curtain of reeds.

Undyne tried to shield him from it. She still tried to get him to leave from time to time. She wanted him to go hide with the rest of the monsters. But he would not. He remained by her side, and by the way her shoulders sagged in relief when he chose to remain, he knew that she took a selfish comfort in his presence.

He helped her track the human through the tall grass. They hunted her through watery caverns that mimicked rainfall and up and over steep cliffs without pause. They even stalked her through fields of echo flowers that whispered snippets of strange messages left just for them.

“Go away.”

“Please leave.”

“Papyrus…”

“I’m sorry.”

“She won’t stop.”

“She won’t leave!”

The words bounced off one another as they went, becoming more and more warped until all that was left was an unnerving, garbeled sort of cry that lasted too long and became more and more uneven as they went.

So far they had only managed to catch glimpses of his brother’s killer.

A flash of red and white hair dancing in the wind as they ran across a distant bridge.

A rock dislodged as the human scrambled up a steep wall and vanished into the next tunnel.

A one-sided argument that bounced off of the cavern walls until it became hard to pinpoint what direction it had come from.

Once or twice she turned to look at them from across some great distance, having just taken out a bridge or climbed something that allowed her a moment to stop and look back.

Her eyes. He could not forget her eyes. He had seen them somewhere before.

He tried to call out to her despite his grief. He tried to get her to stop. Yet always she was two steps ahead of them. Always she slipped away to go reap havoc somewhere else. It felt like she knew these caverns just as well as they did, if not better. She always managed to slip into some barely-known crack and avoid dead ends in a way that should have been impossible.

After yet another exhausting day of fruitless pursuit, Papyrus and Undyne found themselves resting with their backs against the cavern wall. The human had evaded them once again but at least they had been able to send out a warning early enough to keep the casualties fairly low today.

If only Sans had had such a warning…

Papyrus did not realize that Undyne was talking to him until she rested a heavy hand on his shoulder and jolted him from his forlorn thoughts. “I miss him too.” She whispered.

“Why him? Why now?” He asked aloud, voice cracking.

Undyne sucked in a long breath in contemplation. “I don’t know. Why did humans ever do any of the things they have done to us? Why bother trying to understand it.” Her voice turned bitter and she rose to her feet again. “And to think, I used to think they were cool. Ugh!” She kicked a nearby echo flower, lopping its head off with her steel toed boot, sending petals flying everywhere while it echoed her words back to her in a distorted cry.

She paced back and forth a few times to burn off some of her frustrated energy before allowing herself to sit back down. She dug through her travel bag until she found something to distract herself with. She pulled the top off of a plastic container and stole a few bites of its contents before she nudged Papyrus in the arm with the Tupperware. “Here. Eat.”

He took the half empty container of cold spaghetti and did as he was told. When they had passed close to her house in their hunt she had grabbed several old containers from her kitchen to keep them going. Everything had congealed into an unappealing glob and they had no easy way of heating the leftovers up again.

Undyne stole another bite from the container and grimaced as she handed it over, far from enthusiastic about having to eat something cold. “Ugh. Nasty. And this used to be a really good batch too.” Next she pulled out a long black cylinder from her pack. Her armor made a loud symphony of clanks and creaks as she moved around. “Want some tea?” She pushed a button, twisted the cylinder’s cap and gave it a vigorous shake. “It’s a gift from Alphys. Warms the water right up.”

Sure enough when she eventually unscrewed the lid an inviting plume of steam rose up to greet her along with the familiar smell of golden flower tea.

“Sure, Undyne. Thanks.” Papyrus said softly, setting the cold spaghetti aside and leaning over to take the offered lid.

Undyne paused, glaring down at the cylinder as if it had just said something cheeky. “Maybe I could have used this to heat up the spaghetti instead.”

“It’s ok. I don’t feel very hungry anyway.”

“I don’t care if don’t feel hungry. You have been running around with me all week! You gotta eat, Paps. We have to keep our strength up for when the human comes.” She pulled a small flask out of her bag and poured a little of its liquid into the cylinder before taking a swig.

Papyrus eyed the flask with a sheepish curiosity. “Whats that? Can I have some too?” He held out his cup in expectation.

Undyne looked at him from over the edge of her drink then glanced at the flask in her hand. “Uhhh. I don’t know.” Her cheeks flushed with guilt. There were two things she tried to avoid doing around Papyrus: swearing and drinking. He had already heard her cussing up a storm the other day; even worse it had happened in a field of echo flowers. Dare she go two-for-two? “I mean, are you sure you can take it?”

“It’s just a little, isn’t it?”

She chewed her lip. “Well, I guess? If you want? Just don’t tell your bro-” She choked on the word and they both made awkward eye contact over the rim of his cup.

She poured a generous amount into his tea. “Oook! Here we go! Extra helping for the future Royal Guard if you forget I said that. God, I’m so sorry.”

“Nyeheh.” He laughed, looking down at the cup and forcing a smile. “It’s- its ok, Undyne... I keep doing it too.” He admitted before taking a test sip. He decided he didn’t really like it but he drank it anyway to avoid offending her odd tastes. It would have been better if she had had some lemon and honey on hand.

Undyne’s gloves creaked against her cylinder. She took a long gulp despite the water still being scalding hot then set it aside before she could accidentally dent it with her iron grip. She still ended up slamming it down against the stone harder than she meant to, causing her to grimace at the thought of possibly damaging Alphys’s gift.

“We will catch her, Papyrus. I promise. We will make her pay for what she has done to all our friends. She can’t run forever.”

Papyrus tapped his phalanges against the side of his cup in thought. “Undyne…what if… what if we could get her to stop without having to hurt her?”

Had she still been drinking, Undyne would have done a spit take. Regardless, she still made a strangled sound of displeasure. “Papyrus! Do you even hear yourself? That human- no- that thing- just mowed down half my guard and has killed dozens of our friends! She killed your brother in cold blood! And you still want to show that thing mercy?”

Papyrus ducked his head and set down his drink. His hands went up to the stained coat he had tied around his waist. “I’m just trying to think of a reason why someone would do something like this.”

He narrowed his eyes. There was that phantom image again. A frightened human crouched in the snow, illuminated by blue. He tried to focus in on her but the vision was already gone, leaving behind nothing but a few fuzzy words to bounce around in his skull. “You don’t get it do you? They will kill me!”

He tapped his teeth together in worried thought. “Maybe the human is scared. Maybe She just needs someone to help her remember to be good again.”

“Be good again? Again? Papyrus, I don’t think there was ever an ‘again’ with that thing! She has killed every chance shes got! Even if she could change, it wouldn’t make up for the fact that she has hurt people. Asgore still needs a seventh soul and to be honest I am looking forward to bringing him this one.” She spat, her yellow eye glaring daggers. “The least she can do to make up for all this is set the rest of us free.” The fire in her voice died down and she looked at the ground between her feet, drawing her knees a little closer. “Papyrus, I am going to have to fight this thing sooner or later. She may have been able to run and hide for the past few days but her luck will run out eventually.”

Papyrus tilted his head and put a hand on her shoulder. “Undyne, are you scared?”

In a flash she straightened up and flashed him a toothy grin. “Me? Scared? Hah! Of course not! I will run that whelp clean through!” She lied, grinning all the wider. When the remnants of some fogy half-memory stirred a phantom pain in her chest, she hid her discomfort. “But Papyrus, if you can’t promise me that you will do your absolute best to stop her- to kill her- then I am going to have to send you away.”

“Undyne I-”

“I mean it. I will tie you up and float you down the river if I have to. I’m not going to let her hurt you.” The confidant grin was slipping from her face now; replaced by something far more haunted. “Don’t you get it?” She croaked, “If you had been in your brother’s place, if I had let you stay in Snowdin… she would have killed you too. I just know it. Hell, you shouldn’t even be here! You should be with Alphys, seeking refuge!

“But between half the guard already gone and the rest of them working evac and blocvades, things are stretched pretty damn thin out here. I need to know I've got someone I can trust watching my back. But if this is too much for you, I promise I won’t think any less of you if you need to back out.”

Papyrus’s eyes fell and he took in a long, slow breath. He was rubbing the fur lining of his brother’s coat between his fingers again. He had been doing that a lot lately. “No, I-I will go with you. I want to be there. I know you are very strong and brave and smart- but just in case you do need me, I should be there!” His voice fell into a whisper. “It’s already bad enough that I wasn’t there for him.”

Undyne’s fins drooped. She leaned over and gave him a hug, resting her chin against his shoulder. She felt tears pricking at her eyes but she pushed them away and the heat of anger soon rose up in her chest to replace them. She would make the human pay for this. “I know Paps. I know.”

***

They stayed like that for a while. It was nice to have the company. It had been a long and draining week for everyone.

They both understood how dangerous this situation was going to be for each other. Even if Undyne tried to hide it, Papyrus knew she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to beat the human on her own. She was also worried that something would happen and he would get hurt if she asked for help. If he did, in her eyes it would be her fault. The thought had been keeping her visibly on edge all week.

She hadn’t said anything to Papyrus about it, but some half-lived memory she didn’t understand was making her feel queasy.

At least if she did things this way she could keep an eye on him. Otherwise she wouldn’t put it past him to go running off on his own again.

Besides, this was what she had been training him for. He really was quite strong. People always seemed to underestimate him because of his cheery nature. They dismissed him because he acted so silly but not once had he complained or faltered since he had joined her in the hunt. Not once had he slowed her down or questioned her orders- so long as she did not try to command him to leave.

She just hoped that when it really came down to it, he would be able to stomach what had to be done. Sans’s murder had brought out a side of him she had never seen before. It was solemn and stoic. It was serious. Yet he still had these unrealistic ideas of mercy that worried her. Even in his greatest moments of grief he still cried out for understanding instead of vengeance.

She knew she should send him away but he wouldn’t leave and she couldn’t afford to turn away a willing and able fighter. Not with so much on the line. It tore at her heart.

Their moment of peace was disrupted by a phone call. Just like that Undyne snapped back into her role as the Captain of the Royal Guard. She was up on her feet in an instant.

It was Alphys, calling from the lab.

“Hold on. I need to take this.” She nodded at the nearly forgotten container of spaghetti. “And eat up, will you? I don’t need you passing out on me while we are running around. I want that thing gone when I get back.” Because then I won’t have to eat it. She mentally added before stepping away to answer the call.

“Alphys, please tell me you got something.”

Alphys responded with a surprising amount of self-confidence. “Actually, I do.” The sound of her fingers flying across a keyboard rattled through the phone. “The human is close to your location. S-shes in Gerson’s shop. She triggered the alarm.”

Undyne tensed. “And Gerson?”

“He’s alive. F-for now. She’s hit the magical barrier protecting his counter a few times but its holding. He won’t come out from behind it. I-I think he’s mocking her!”

Undyne rubbed her temple and muttered under her breath. “Dammit old man.” She had told him to leave with the others but he had wanted to stay behind to offer temporary refuge to stragglers. And knowing him he was indeed mocking the human; trying to get her to stick around long enough to get caught, even if it came at his own expense. For someone who claimed to have retired from being a war hero he sure still liked laughing in the face of death.

“Alright, thanks. I will be right over. Keep me updated on her movements. And Alphys-” She wanted to say something to her, knowing that she may not get a chance to talk to her again, but the words died in her throat. Her fins wilted and she made a face that sat somewhere between a smile and a grimace.

“Yes, Undyne?”

No. Best not to say anything. If things went wrong it would just make it harder on her. She thought of something else to say to cover the awkward pause. “Pop some popcorn or something, ok? Cause you’re going to be in for one hell of a show.”

She thought of poor Papyrus, clinging to his brothers coat. She thought of Sans’s dust left in the snow. She thought of her Canine unit, their laughter once filling the bar- never to be heard again. She thought of all the people the human had killed and the air around her crackled with magic as her hands turned to fists. “That human is about to get her ass handed to her.”

She hung up and marched back over to Papyrus. He had eaten all the spaghetti and was still sitting where she had left him. He had untied the coat from around his waist and had it draped over his knees. He was reading over a folded piece of paper that he held pinched in his trembling hands.

That was new. She hadn’t seen that note before.

His jaw quivered as he read the scrawl and he dabbed at his eyes with the back of one gloved hand.

Unfortunately she did not have time to ask him what it was he had found. “We gotta move. Gerson’s got the human distracted over by his shop.” She put her phone away and did a once over of herself. She had all the necessities still on her. Whatever they had unpacked for lunch could be left where it was and retrieved later.

Papyrus looked up with a start, hopping to his feet and re-tying the arms of the coat around his waist. “Oh dear! Is he ok?”

“For now. But he won’t be if we don’t move.” Undyne broke into a run.

Papyrus took great care in refolding the letter and tucked it into one of the coat’s pockets. He was in already mid stride behind her by the time the letter had been hidden from sight once more.

“Listen Paps, I want you to stay behind me at all times, ok? Never go to the front and attack her head on. I need you to be my support and watch my back.”

“I understand.”

Her armor rattled with every stride, the weeds bowing to their passage. Muddy water splashed up around them and painted their shins brown as they raced on.

“And if you do well, when this is all over we can have a proper initiation ceremony for you. I think that after all you have done for the Underground, you deserve to be a real member of the Royal Guard. You have really proved yourself this week. So stay alive and stay frosty, ok?” She barked over her shoulder.

Such a promise should have made him light headed with giddiness. But instead Papyrus just gave her a solemn nod, his shoulders sagging like like each word was a new, inky black weight settling in upon his shoulders. He had wanted to join the guard so he could help people, not avenge them. Maybe he didn't want this anymore. But he understood that it would be selfish of him not to agree. Not when Undyne had already lost so many.

Papyrus’s lowered his head and leaned into each step, his jaw set as he ran alongside his friend. “I will make you proud Undyne. I promise.”