I spent my evening watching a movie with Colin and Evan. It was some stupid monster movie that didn’t make sense. The acting was terrible and the effects were pretty bad. I stayed for the free snacks though. So it was worth it to some extent.

I arrived home later that night. The sun had long set and the street lights could be seen through the window. I wandered into the dark room making sure I didn’t bump into anything. After refreshing myself in the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I went to my usual sleeping spot in the corner of the one-room apartment. I was exhausted from working all day so I was looking forward to sleeping.

I consider sleep to be the essential activity for humanity. We spend most of our lives asleep. Even though I was tired, I couldn’t fall asleep. When we spend our nights without sleep, we call that insomnia.

I was lying down on the floor while Lucy was still in my bed. I assume she had been long asleep since it was pretty late at night when I got home. My eyes were on the ceiling. There was a summer breeze coming in through the window. Each blow of the wind could be felt on the cool floor. I leave the wall mounted air conditioner turned off during the night to save money. The room itself was dark and warm. All we could hear was the sound of the city. There were cars driving by and some people walking late at night. Once I could hear some drunk group of friends being loud. A person walking his dog could be heard. The owner was trying to keep the dog silenced.

Lucy got up and walked slowly towards the front door. I could clearly see that she couldn’t sleep just like me. Maybe I could go for a walk too. But I was too tired to go for it. It was three in the morning when she then left the apartment. I wonder where she was going. I didn’t care too much at the time.

What was on my mind was Lucy and Raphie’s relationship. My talk with Phoebe earlier in the day stuck with me. I didn’t know why I cared but she did have a point. If I wanted something to change, I would have to do something about it. The least I could do was just talk to them about it.

I got up from the floor and went to the window. I could feel the wind blow by from time to time. Outside I could see that it was an empty street with parked cars. In the distance, I could see a highway. Further to the right, I could see the church I passed by earlier today.

My body could barely hold itself up so I fell back to the floor. I shut my eyes but nothing happened. Ten, twenty and then thirty minutes passed. It was then I went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face. After a long time lying down on the floor, I fell asleep.

The next day wasn’t so different. I went to work and it wasn’t busy. Because it wasn’t busy, I spent less time with Raphie by the Cashier. I talked with Alex throughout the day as we stocked up products on the aisles. We talked about school and work. He told me stories about the different types of people he met throughout this job and even in our college. I learned that he lived not too far from here and the fact that he had a dog. He spent at least four hours talking about his dog. He told stories about his dog, his dog’s diet, habits of his dog and even problems when his dog has to go to the bathroom. Even though Alex was older than me, he seemed to be more childish than me. But there was something about him that seemed more mature about him. It was probably his wisdom as an older figure. He looked after me as I did my job for the day so I wasn’t alone figuring things out.

Alex was the popular person at school. He was in various clubs and circles. It was hard tracking who he was hanging out from time to time. Everyone knew of Alex. But it was rare to be known by him. It was just a coincidence that I got to meet him. I almost assumed he was even an angel. I asked Raphie of course, but she denied it. Since I knew of the angel’s existence, she said she would let me know. Alex was just a great guy. Me, on the other hand, was the opposite of that. But I was satisfied with who I am.

It got busy in the afternoon so I was stationed as a bagboy at the cashier with Raphie. It was then I was able to talk to her about Alex. Rick, the manager, would pass by from time to time which restricted our conversation sometimes. I got to learn more about Raphie’s education at our college. I wanted to bring up the topic about Lucy but I never got around to it.

I dealt with various types of people at work. It wasn’t as bad as yesterday like dealing with people I knew. There were a bunch of elderly that were shopping and some of them needed help knowing where was a product they were looking for.

At the end of the shift, I visited the church with Raphie. I didn’t mind going with her again. It became a ritual to sit in the silence while I waited for her to pray. It calmed me down from my stresses in life. Work and Lucy. Both were a handful to deal with.

Then I came home earlier since I didn’t stay over at Colin’s this time. And as usual, I couldn’t sleep. As tired as I was, my brain wouldn’t shut off and go to sleep.

After a week, I’ve come to accept this as my routine. Somedays I had an off day at work. And when I do work, I would join Raphie visiting the church from time to time.

And at the end of each day, I would come home and deal with my insomnia. No matter how busy my day was, I couldn’t fall asleep whenever I want to.

Every other day Lucy would go out for a walk. On a day that I was off, I decided I would join her.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Lucy asked.

“Yeah…”

“Me too.”

“Where do you usually go?” I asked.

“I just… walk.”

“Just anywhere?”

“Yeah. And eventually, I’ll find my way back by the time I’m exhausted.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

Here I thought that she did something. She was the devil after all. I was a bit suspicious all this time. For once, I actually believed her. It was a genuine experience to hear some honesty from Lucy. Even for angels, sleep was precious.

We both stepped out of the building. It was really dark outside other than the white coming from the street lights. It was almost like a spotlight waiting for someone to walk through. Spotlight after spotlight, Lucy and I walk through the sidewalk. There were rarely some people walking by us. I saw the drunks and the dog walkers. There were some who were only walking just like us. Some people were headed somewhere but people like us just wanted to go for a walk.

My mind would wander as I walked around with Lucy. It was a different experience. Since all we usually do at home was lie down anywhere and do random things like reading or playing video games. Walking was probably the most active we’ll ever be together.

It was a quiet walk though. Quieter than I would like. It was almost as quiet as the church. With the exception of the ambiance of the city of course. But I was already used to that.

“Did you ever reach the Aegis of Heaven yet?”

“No, my level isn’t high enough yet.”

“Don’t you play that game non-stop?”

She has been playing it constantly. Even more so than me. Our computer has been in use constantly without a break. Lucy was playing HellsCraft Online about seventy percent of the day. The other thirty was my turn. I had years of playing this game. Lucy so far had a month.

Another gap between us was our life experience. I’ve only had over twenty years of my life. Lucy has had an eternity. I wondered what kind of questions I could ask the devil herself.

“Do you ever believe that people could change?”

A thought came up. It was completely random thought. Something that has been on my mind ages ago. But being exhausted from my insomnia made me think more freely. It was a random memory. Like an endless abyss where I pick up a thought by chance.

Now that’s a question I could go on for days thinking about. I never really aim for a conclusion to this thought. I might as well as be walking in the dark all this time. No sense of direction. No destination. Do people ever change? We might on the outside. But our core may stay the same. Or does it really?

“Why bring that up?”

“I don’t know. It’s been on my mind for a while.”

She looked at me funny.

“You must be lonely.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You sound really proud.”

“Of course I am.”

“What a loser.”

Lucy and I laughed a bit. We were tired to laugh out loud. It was more like a chuckle as we let our breath out of our noses.

“I’ve lived for an eternity. I think I’ve been the same the whole time.”

Then she’s a good person to talk with about this topic.

“But has something changed at all? If anything.”

“Nope.”

“Maybe we don’t really notice our change unless we really look back.”

I know I have.

“I think I’m still me.”

Lucy picked up her pace. Her footsteps were slightly heavier. I tried to hurry up as she walked in front of me.

“People don’t change. It’s how they are. You’ll be David until the day you die. No matter what happens.”

“So you’re saying you’re the same Lucifer since the day you were born?”

She was silent.

I moved on to the next question.

“Do you think people can change, even a little?”

“Of course. You can change your hairstyle, your face. Hell, even your name,” Lucy said while she was looking at the ground. Her voice has gotten softer and her pacing gotten slower. I was able to keep up.

“Then what changes people? If there’s any at all.”

“Desire. Wanting for change. You can reach for it but never actually achieve it.”

“You sure about that?”

Again, Lucy was silent.

It was difficult to tell what made her refuse to answer my question. I couldn’t tell what Lucy was thinking. She has more than multiple lifetimes of experience than me. Even so, even she wasn’t sure about this eternal question that’s been lingering in my mind. It would take more than forever to know the true nature of an individual person. Imagine how long it would take to figure out the nature of many.

At that time, we reached the apartment building. Without any further discussion of our conversation, we walked into the room. We both lied down in our typical sleeping places. My window was overhead from the floor I’m lying down. Lucy was to my left. I could tell that we were was lying down parallel from each other.

Some things haven’t changed. Yet.