By the time they’d gotten to Mt. Skyshear, it had grown so late it was early. Rather than try to climb it at four a.m., they bunkered down for the night at the peaceful base of the mountain, to Alex’s dismay. So it was roughly midday when they marched up the path. The wind was blowing strong and cold already, a thousand feet from the stone spire.

“This isn’t so bad. There aren’t even many monsters.” Jamie said, blinking in the bright sun. There were large enemies skulking about, giants dozens of feet tall. They had seen an ogre hammering something over a fire. Whatever he was doing, the ogre was level 67. Thus, they snuck past without getting close.

“I got a question. How’re we supposed to level up if we don’t fight stuff? We need XP to get stronger.” Lina asked.

“Simple. The goal isn’t to level up. Unfortunately, there’s no vay to automatically progress. I’m hoping powerful eqvipment vill help equalize us at the Vizard’s Tower.” Alex said.

“That’s one way of doing it. But how’re we going to get the levels to get the stuff if we don’t get XP?” Jamie said.

“Was wondering exactly what the plan was myself.” Mayhew said.

“Very vell. I have been studying this game very, very extensively ever since ve arrived. You did a very good job, Mayhew. Yes, this vorld is amazingly lifelike and realistic. And I am going to take advantage of that.”

“You see, vhen I first entered Real Fantasy Online, I vas amazed at the complete sensory input. Aside from combat and damage, it is extremely easy to forget you’re in a virtual vorld. There seems to be no limitation to vhat has been put in.” Mayhew blushed and chuckled. “However, this affords us certain…opportunities, you could say. As real as this game seems, it is not reality. It inputs data into our brains and outputs our thoughts, and desires, to move our avatars as ve vish.”

“Yes, that is true, Captain Obvious.” Lina said blankly. Where was he going with this? He scowled and held up a finger.

“Youngsters today, no patience. My time levelling up in the mansion has been most productive. I’ve probed the nature of the reality ve find ourselves in, and have found the limits of our avatars, are not qvite the limitations of vhat ve can do.”

“Huh?” Jamie said.

“Just vatch.” Alex stared at his finger. He concentrated, breathing deeply. It was always difficult to pull tricks like this, even as a vampire who could shapeshift. He grunted, pulling it back, and his finger peeled at a 45 degree angle, stretching to the limit.

“Very nice? Congratulations?” Lina said, very confused.

“D-Doesn’t that hurt? You can stop now. P-Please, stop now!” Jamie said. That just looked wrong. Alex let out his breath and relaxed, clenching his fist to make it feel normal again.

“Do you not see vhat I mean?” he asked.

“Uh, no?” The vampire shook his head.

“I am very talented, an am qvite flexible and in good shape in real life. I cannot do vhat I just did in real life.” He began softly kicking in the air, stretching out his legs. Mayhew gasped as he got it.

“You’re talking about enhanced biokinetics!” he exclaimed.

“What?” Both Jamie and Lina said.

“I am?” Alex said, pausing.

“That’s the name for it. They made a whole bunch of noise about virtual rehab for the NeWorld’s PR, it’s partly how we got so much funding. The idea is to help debilitated patients suffering from paralysis, amputees connect with their artificial limbs, and sufferers of phantom limb pain. Success’s been kinda mixed so far, but when they began trials, some of the success stories found they could move and stretch their avatars much further than what their bodies could, even beyond what’s normally possible!” Mayhew explained excitedly. “But normally it doesn’t happen, and the patients who’ve done so had years of physical training and activity like basketball or yoga, like, decades of it.”

“I see. I have spent some years mastering my body for various martial applications.” Alex said primly. Lina rolled her eyes, and Jamie had to suppress a giggle. “I have practiced to achieve vhat some might call unbelievable, but believe me vhen I say I am not capable of this.” He threw his leg up, up, up over his head; centuries of practice had given him incredible flexibility, on par with contortionists. However, he was limited by his own body. It was simply too big and muscular, and even with his undead abilities, he couldn’t go beyond what humans had been capable of. It was just the way the human body was built.

So it astonished all of them when his leg soared behind his head, his body bending unnaturally to hit the ground with the tow of his boot. His hands slammed on the ground, breathing furiously against the painful feedback form the stretch.

“Yaaah! That’s gross! Please stop please stop please stop!” Jamie pleaded, trying to look away but unable to tear his eyes from the split Alex was performing.

“I…have…no…real body here.” Alex said, half to them, half as a mantra. “This…is not…real. My…my body…cannot do this, my mind can. There…there is…no limit to my mind.” Thunder and tarnation, it was easier to turn into a wolf than this! At least his body was made to do that! He let out a breath and tipped over, retracting his limbs to their normal place. There was a buzzing in his buttock and back, not quite pain, but he could feel his tendons and ligaments protesting. “But that’s wrong. I did not stretch my body. There is no pain.” he muttered to himself.

“Jeez. Do…do you want me to do that?” Jamie asked nervously.

“No, not yet. I vant you to practice stretching, but nothing like that. No, that vas merely a demonstration of vhat ve are capable of in here. Am I correct in assuming that these ‘raid bosses’ have not been programmed in similar vays?” he asked Mayhew.

“Uh, yeah. They, uh, move how they’re anatomy’s supposed to, normally, not like that.” the Priest stuttered, reeling at what he had witnessed. Of course it was always possible to do that…but the sheer level of willpower and focus involved ensured that no player up until now had ever pulled a stunt like that off. Who was this guy? Who was the player behind Allocrax?

“I do not count on this. It only gives a slight advantage over the games’ parameters. However, even a slight advantage is still an advantage, no?” Alex said with a grin, drawing himself up. “I have noticed for some time that things are…slightly different in the reality of this game. If you veren’t used to fighting for your life or had extensive training, you vouldn’t notice. But there is a small lag vhen I move, vhere I feel like I’m flying. The vorld seems to catch up nanoseconds later.”

“Ah, yeah. No matter what, this’s still a game. If you can do stuff faster than the engine can keep up, of course there’ll be lag. We tried to make it as small as possible, but that wasn’t my department.” Mayhew said.

“I’m just surprised it runs as smooth as it does. Aside from the death glitch and the dragon, I don’t think I’ve run into any bugs at all.” Jamie said.

“We ran a thorough debugging process. Very thorough.” Mayhew said, shivering. There was a haunted look in his eye as he recalled the endless hours he was chained to his desk, coding and recoding and recoding…

Lina shook her head and forced him to march.

Since the underground path had never been found, the vampires were climbing the outside to the Celestial Temple, the dungeon hidden in the mountain. It was a grand, sprawling spiral that had epic bosses and premium loot, reserved for only the strongest and most skilled players. The fact that they were taking the challenge head-on made three of the four nervous; only Alex hummed a cheery tune as they approached the entrance.

It was a spectacular sight. The Temple was carved into and from the mountain, broken sections of rock revealing the smooth, worked stone and occasional stained glass window beneath. It extended all the way up into the sky, where clouds drifted past below the top. Ah, the top was magnificent, for those who could view it. A giant crystal cathedral sat at the very top, imperiously above everything else, the highest point in Real Fantasy Online. The Celestial Cathedral was said to glow even at night, an otherworldly brilliance parting rainclouds. They craned their necks, unable to see the top form where they were. Alex let out a low whistle.

“That’s big all right. Alright, you got the gear I asked for, right?” he asked Mayhew. The Priest wordlessly dug in his inventory and handed him a package. Alex carefully undid the rope and waved it out with a flap. It was a vest with no sleeves, covered in straps. The exact design was unfamiliar, but he shrugged it on easily enough.

“I-Is that…” Jamie said awkwardly. Alex nodded.

“Yes! A climbing harness!” He tightened the straps and tugged on it, testing the strength. “you see, vith incredible focus, it’s possible to do things that vould be impossible in reality, like staying up for four days vithout negative effect or bending further than your ‘body’ allows. I plan on proving another facet of this fact. Here.” He handed them all belts, connected to his. Lina looked at it, then at the mountain, and her eyes bugged out.

“Please don’t tell me you’re doing what I think you’re doing.” she said shakily.

“Very vell, I vill not tell you I plan to scale the outside of the mountain.” he said far too innocently.

“Gah!” She furiously ran her fingers through her violet hair and shouted at him. “That’s a sheer drop in miles! Not feet! Are you crazy!?”

“Probably. But it vill vork.” the vampire said nonchalantly, cleaning his ear. She worried too much.

“Uh, I, uh, n-never d-did any m-mountain climbing before. Is, is this gonna be okay?” Jamie asked.

“Oh, don’t vorry. I did the calculations, none of you veigh over 200 pounds. I am the vun vith climbing experience, and vith my STR score…” He reached down and heaved, pulling up a rock nearly twice his size and holding it above his head. “It vill be no problem.”

“If you say so…” the Magus said doubtfully.

“Well, the plan seems solid enough. Alright guys! Get going, and good luck to us all!” Mayhew said cheerfully, patting Alex on the back before trying to slink away. Lina grabbed him by the collar.

“Oh no. You want to get back home, you do this stupid thing with us.” she growled.

“But…but…”

“Nope. You’re in, so you’re in.” she said, glaring.

“Uh, Alex? N-Not that I doubt you or anything, but are you really sure this’s a good idea?” Jamie said, tugging on his rope.

“If it vere just me, I’d be halfvay up the mountain by now.” he said confidently. “But vith three others…let’s say I’m glad Lina doesn’t have the armor for this.”

“S-So then, let’s come up with a new plan! Or do something else for good gear. It’s gotta be better than this, uh, um…” he trailed off, face red. Alex chuckled.

“Harebrained lunacy? Dumb*bleep*ery? Madness, idiotic, impossible, suicidal plan?” he said, smirking. Jamie was taken aback.

“Well, I, err…”

“Trust me, I am vell avare of how dumb my plan sounds. I vould not entertain this if ve vere in the real vorld, but ve’re not. It vill vork, if I can focus. I can push past the tiredness, because I am at home in my coffin, nice and relaxed. Come.” He hopped up, sinking Allocrax’s fingers into cracks and along rough edges of the rock face. “This is beyond human strength. Fortunately-” he said, casting a surreptitious glance at Mayhew “I am not.” He started to climb, completely comfortable with the supposedly sheer cliff face.

Vampires did not have any innate gravity-defying powers, not the ability to stick to things like insects. However, their supernatural strength and senses allowed them to consider options that ordinary humans could not. Alex had discovered this fairly early after his death, like most vampires. Their muscles and nails were hard and strong enough to hold five times his body weight, more if fed. They could detect cracks and microfissures, hidden bumps and uneven surfaces and capitalize on that to climb high. Alex had done so many, many times, sneaking into fortresses and palaces to drink or bring them down. A vampires’ strength was easily enough to drive a hand into rock and stone, making tiny handholds. Alex used that skill now, feeling for imperfections in the stone, using that as leverage to haul himself up. The harness tugged hard, but he grit his teeth and pulled.

“Nnnnggg-hrk!” His arms burned, but his relentless pulling lifted the other three off their feet, to their shrieks. “Vasn’t so bad. Just have to repeat until done. Hnnng.” he muttered, going up.

“Oh god oh god why.” Mayhew said quietly, feeling gravity take over as his legs dangled.

“Shut up, no one likes this. But we bypass all the *bleep*ing monsters, and we get around the stupid anti-flight spell this way.” Lina growled, folding her arms. This was stupid, this was suicidal, this had better work or else. At least he was a quick climber; they were already twelve feet off the ground.

“Ahh, w-we’re h-having s-such a l-lovely time, it’s s-so m-much f-f-fun to b-be in t-this g-game, r-r-right?” Jamie said nervously, shaking like a leaf. Focus, remain calm. That’s what he said, right? Focus, remain calm. His eyes were watering as the wind blew past them, so high up already. Alex wasn’t moving at a fast pace, but a steady one. He concentrated on breathing steadily as he climbed, his muscles starting to burn. But that wasn’t right.

“No body to burn, no muscles to ache. This is nothing. There is no veight.” he muttered to counteract the incredible weight dragging from his waist. Instead, his fingers probed for the next microfracture, his skin reddening form trying to grip almost nothing. His hands felt full of lead, but his head was full of iron. His nails were on fire as they had to hold up over five hundred pounds, but he paid them no heed. “There is no vall, I am not climbing. I only think I am, I don’t believe I am.” he chanted, pulling another arm up. His arms did not feel like rubber hoses, his waist didn’t feel like it was being cut in half.

They proceeded that way for the next hour. Alex panting, the others in tense silence or prayer. Even if this wasn’t real, it certainly felt like it. The sun was bright and the wind was cold, occasionally whipping up enough Alex had to hunker down and hold on for dear life, his passengers begging him to not let go for dear virtual unlife. Were he alone, he would have made it by now. As it was, they were still far from the 80th floor where Bleakheart waited, with all his treasure and gear. Supreme gear that would make them very powerful very quickly, enough to turn the tides on their level disadvantage. Alex grimaced and climbed. Time was of the essence.

It was a little past the halfway point that Mayhew forced himself to calm down and actually open his eyes. He blinked and saw a beautiful windswept vista, the cold, lonely mountain range dotted sparsely with trees and harpies, the sun once more turning the earth a deep shade of red, contrasting the white of the tower.

“Huh. You know, when you look at it from up here, it doesn’t seem too bad.” His wandering eyes mosied down to see the enormous distance between his feet and the ground. Directly. No griffin between them this time. His eyes bugged as his voice caught in his throat. Due to the nature of the climb, Alex had maneuvered them not just up, but away from the starting point around the structure. Over a chasm. A thousands-foot drop chasm. “Ye…ye…yeeaaaahhhhh! Putmedownputmedownputmedownputmedown-!” His head swam as his avatar started to quiver and flail, his arms and legs thrashing. Alex felt the tug and sway, holding on as best he could.

“Vould somevun take care of him!?” he shouted, bending in two to give as much slack as he could, hanging by his fingertips.

“H-How!?” Jamie cried. Mayhew’s panic was making him panic.

“I don’t care!” Alex bellowed.

“O-Okay! Uh, easy man, just take it easy-” he tried to say soothingly, but Mayhew elbowed him in the face. They were swinging back and forth, more than in a wind gust.

“Yaaaah! Yaaaah! Too high! Too high up!” he screeched, rationality gone.

“Dude, chill or we’re all gonna-” Lina’s back scraped against the rough stone. “Oof!”

“Waaaaaaagh!”

“Oh for the love of-” She raised her hand and chopped at the back of the Priest’s neck. -33, but he was still screaming and fighting.

“Ow! No! Attack! Save me!” he cried deliriously.

“How d’ya knock people out?” she said.

“You can’t, it doesn’t work that way! But here are spells and powders that can send things to sleep!” Jamie said, his eyes now shut as he dangled.

“And I’m guessing no one has anything like that.” she muttered, wishing dearly she could swear properly.

“C-Check his stuff!” Alex said, straining. Lina grabbed the Priest’s belt, tearing off the reduced bag of spell crystals. She and Jamie shifted through them, reading popups as fast as they could.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no…yes!” She held up a green crystal. Jamie slapped it onto Mayhew’s crying face and poured 20 MP into it.

“Sleep! Sleep, sleep, that’s it, sleep…” he said as Mayhew’s eyes drooped, closing as he drifted off into a nice, calm sleep. Lina and Jamie both heaved a sigh of relief. “I’m glad that’s over.”

“Hrnnng….can’t-noooo!” Alex shouted as the stone crumbled away around his fingers.

“I blame youaaaaaaaahhh!” Lina cried as they started to fall. Lives flashed before eyes as the terror of death grabbed hold. Alex however had far too much to experience, and wasn’t having it.

“Stalagspike!” His hand twisted back as the program took hold, jutting out a spike of stone from the wall. Mayhew, Lina, and Jamie were falling on the right, while Alex dropped left. The sturdy rope caught on the spike, but Alex was reminded once again of Newton as his horrified face approached Jamie’s at truly frightening speeds.

WHACK! -25.

Alex didn’t have time to hold his head though; the stalagmite was pointed. Their weight slid them down, resuming their very, very, very long fall. He reached out his hand as they slid off, but he realized-

Allocrax was too short. His arm couldn’t reach.

“No!” he screamed.

“Hrrrrrggggck!” Lina grunted through gritted teeth, her hand sliding along the spire but arresting their momentum at the end. She panted, her palm on fire and taking 13 damage, but her absurd STR held out. She hauled the conscious members of the party up to hang on the spike.

“How long do these things last?” she huffed.

“About five minutes. Plenty of time to…process that.” Alex said, smiling weakly. She glared at him.

“This has got to be the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard of. And this is why!”

“W-Well, according to the display, we’re near floor 53. Over halfway there.” Jamie said, checking through a window.

“Whoopity-doo.” Lina deadpanned.

“Scoff all you like, ve’re much further than ve could get by the normal route. And much safer.” Alex said. Both of the other Vampires stared at him in disbelief.

“I do not call this safe!” Lina screamed, her legs kicking.

“Safer than vhat the alternative is.”

“Not that I disagree with you, but what are we going to do now? We’re still a long way from the top, and you don’t look like you’re up for too much more of this.” Jamie said, peering up the structure.

“It’s a long way to the top, if you vant to rock and roll.” Alex said, cracking his neck. Jamie tilted his head.

“Why does that sound familiar somehow?” he asked.

“It’s a song. Guns ‘N Roses, I think.” Lina said. Suddenly, her blood chilled. She looked to see Alex giving her the coldest glare he could manage. A chill ran down her spine.

“AC. DC.” he said flatly.

“H-Hey, that song’s seventy years old, okay? My grampa listened to-oh that’s right you’re a vampire.”

“Yes.” Alex sighed, despairing at the underappreciation of the classics by the youth today. Beethoven, Mozart, Grieg, Offenbach, Sousa, Sinatra, the Who, the Rolling Stones. He shook his head. “It’s terrible how qvickly new generations forget. Vhy, most vouldn’t even know of Yes or Dio if it veren’t for JoJo.” Jamie stared at him like he’d grown a second head.

“You watch JoJo?” he said in disbelief, nearly falling off the stalagmite.

“I have, and they did a good job of adapting it. But I read it years before David Pro got the rights.” he sniffed haughtily. Jamie stared at him open-mouthed. Well, it did have vampires in it, so he supposed Alex would find it interesting. Lina blinked in confusion.

“What the *bleep* are you talking about?” she said.

“Never mind. Ve have to get moving.” Alex said, eyeing the rest of the way to the 80th window. Hauling himself up, he rubbed his hands together, trying to get feeling back in the. No, they were perfectly fine, he was being a wimp. His fingers did not hurt, his arms were normal, his body was completely ok. He touched the wall, searching for the perfect spot to ascend. They could see white numbers flickering around him, half-formed and ghostly. The game was trying to register damage, but Alex was forcing himself to think everything was ok. At this rate, something would break.

“Yo, big guy. You proved you’re macho. Let me handle the rest.” Lina said gently, heaving herself onto the spike.

“Very kind of you, but I am the only vun who can climb like this. Besides, everything is fine.” he said, hooking his fingers into microfissures.

“I’ve got the higher STR.”

“I’ve actually climbed structures like this. I made it this far, I can keep going. How vould you grip the rock? You’re not used to it.” he scoffed.

“Maybe I don’t need to.” She drew her knife, then reached over and stole one of his.

“Hey!”

“Simmer down. Hah!” With a violent stab, she drove the knife into the stone. Reaching higher, she stabbed the other one in. Grunting with effort, she yanked out the other one and stabbed higher, beginning to rise. God damn, how could he have done this for so long!?

“Lina, I have this! I must protest!” Alex said.

“Stick it up your *bleep*. I’m getting us up there.” she said back. They glared at each other, eye to eye.

“Hey, guys? W-Why don’t you b-both climb up? That should reduce the strain on you a l-lot.” Jamie piped up cautiously. They turned as one to stare at him.

“That…could work.” Lina said, a little embarrassed she didn’t come up with it.

“Very vell. Ve must proceed cautiously. Don’t give out.” he taunted. Her arms felt like rubber already, but she grit her teeth.

“Don’t worry about me.” she said, heaving another knife up.

They proceeded in this way up the column into the sky. With two people doing the work, it went much faster, and was easier on both, even if they had to match tempos so they didn’t pull ahead. Jamie felt like he was slowly being pinched in half, and presumably Mayhew too, but he was hanging limp and unconscious. If they could take the strain of climbing, he could take this. They were about seventy feet away now, and rising relatively fast. He stared out into the vast vista, nothing else to do. He glanced, at Alex, then decided to ask.

“Hey, Alex? Um, y-you don’t have to answer, and if you need to concentrate, that’s okay. But if you don’t mind, you used to be human, right? H-How did you become a vampire?” The climbing was paused as Lex looked down at Jamie, eyebrow raised. “S-Sorry! I-If it’s too personal, or too painful, y-you don’t have to say!” he apologized frantically, waving his arms.

“Jamie!” both Alex and Lina barked.

“S-Sorry!” He went still as a statue. Alex shook his head, mumbling about the foolishness of kids.

“It’s fine, there’s nothing really too bad about it. I’m actually a little surprised it took you this long to ask. It’s not qvite as interesting or dramatic as others, but I vill tell you. You see…”