《The Pleasant Potato Inn Co.》001: (T)obias

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Tobias stared at the slime. Was this...for real? A talking slime? In all the video games he'd played, he’d never seen a talking slime before.

Then again, slimes shouldn’t exist. Giant tortoises with sharp teeth and horns also shouldn’t exist. Or, at least, he didn’t think they did. He wasn’t too caught up with all the weird creatures that inhabited Earth.

But still. A talking slime? He vaguely remembered that anime Cassy was obsessed with, That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime.

He didn’t get anime―all he understood was that guys were freakishly OP and girls had some serious cleavage but mentioning that to Cassidy meant certain death―but that one was about some guy who had died protecting a coworker or something and was reincarnated as a slime, just like the title said. There was more to it, he was sure, but Tobias wasn’t interested in watching a tiny blue slime go on adventures or whatever.

Now, though, he was facing an intelligent monster. One who had killed that freaky tortoise. He didn’t know what to do with it.

“A~hem,” the slime cleared its throat. (Wait, do slimes have throats?) “Human, are you paying attention?”

“Oh, uh, y-yeah. Um...what were we talking about again?”

The slime wriggled indignantly. “I was asking if you liked potatoes.”

“Potatoes? Um...yeah.”

The slime rolled back and forth. “Wonderful! It’s tremendously difficult finding a potato adorer such as myself among my monster brethren. Few have the intellectual capacity I possess after consuming a few Intellectus Potatoes. The ones that I find aren’t quite as...adamant as I am.”

Tobias couldn’t help but stare at the creature. It looked pretty simple; it had a yellowish-brown color (like a potato) and was somewhat roundish when it stood still, but took on an oval shape, kind of like a pill, when it rolled on the ground, the purple grass bending under its weight.

Purple grass. Purple grass.

Tobias ripped out a handful and stared down at it. After a moment, he looked up at the green sky. This was so weird.

“Hey, Mr. Slime?”

“Yes?”

“Where am I?”

“The Imperial Tortoise Valley. Well, other monsters reside here, but those pesky tortoises are the main bunch. I don’t mind absorbing them but they’re quite-”

“Um, I meant, like, what planet am I on? The name and stuff?”

“Hmm...From the few short conversations I’ve had with your kind, I was aware you had some sort of ‘system’? Does it not tell you important things?”

“I-”

Before he could finish, a screen popped up in front of his face.

System Interface Notification: Integration Process

[For the integration process to begin, you must complete three tasks: allow voice recognition, facial recognition, and mental recognition.]

“Um...what is this?”

The slime rolled over to my side and peered up at the screen. “Hmm. I’m afraid I have no idea. Perhaps this is part of the system the Humans talked about?”

Suddenly, the screen flickered and changed.

Voice recognition complete. Prepare for facial recognition...

“Hey, I haven’t agreed to―gah!”

A bright light flashed from the screen, blinding Tobias. He rubbed his eyes and muttered, “Great. Just great.”

The slime giggled at his annoyance, “How fun! How fun!”

Ignoring it, Tobias looked back up at the screen.

Facial recognition complete. Prepare for mental recognition…

A laser beam shot out from the center of the screen and hit his forehead. Fortunately, for Tobias, it didn’t hurt. If felt pleasant, even.

Then a flood of information filled his head. He barely had time to process everything before he passed out.

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When Tobias woke up, he was lying in his bed. He felt relieved, thankful that what happened earlier must have been a crazy dream. There was no way he met a talking slime or saw a giant tortoise with horns. The sky wasn't green and the grass wasn't purple. And it was perfectly normal to have a video game HUD because that was a thing.

Yes, all was perfect and right with the world...wait.

Tobias opened his eyes and sat up. A HUD?

There were three bars stacked on top of each other in the top left corner: a red HP bar, a blue MP bar, and a green stamina bar. Over in the top right corner was a box showing the date and time: 10:03 AM, 6/07/19. Down in the bottom right corner was a circular map showing my position. I was a white triangle, facing northeast. The space around the triangle was purple, matching the color of the grass. In the bottom, left corner were two faded blue boxes: System Interface and Inventory.

“Huh…” Tobias muttered, staring at the HUD. This...this was real, huh?

He looked down and realized he was still lying in the valley, not in his warm, safe bed. Turning, he saw no sign of the slime. He sighed, half-wishing the intelligent, potato-loving monster had stayed.

Glancing up, he saw the Sun...um, three Suns, each a varied shade of blue, up high in the sky. Since this was a different world, how did sunsets work? There were three of them. Did they each set in the west or something?

Why am I worried about the sky when I’m an open valley filled giant turtles and talking slimes? Tobias thought, shaking his head. I’ll worry about that stuff later. I need to figure out how this system works.

He eyes the Interface Menu. Does this just disappear when I close my eyes? He found that it doesn’t. He put his hand in front of his face, but it didn’t obstruct his view. Just like a video game. Alright. Now, how do I access this stuff? Do I touch it or…

Tobias focused on the ‘System Interface’ box and a screen popped up.

System Interface X

Status Chat Interface Notifications

Hmm...This is interesting. So I can just look at it and it pops up? It said mental recognition...Alright, then. 'Status.'

System Interface: Status Menu X

Character:

Name: Tobias Boyde Species: Human Essence: Level 1 Experience: 0/100

Character Stats:

(*.*) Total Regen Points Health 100/100 7/minute 0 Attribute points Mana 70/70 8/minute 0 Path points Stamina 100/100 7/minute 0 Tree points General Resistance - 7% Attributes: Attributes: Attribute Points (0) Strength- (Increases Attack Power, Lifting Weight, Stamina Gained Per Level) 8 (+) Agility- (Increases Speed, Dexterity, Reflexes) 7 (+) Constitution-(Increases Weight, Density, Hardness, Health Gained Per Level) 6 (+) Endurance-(Increases Regeneration of Health and Stamina) 7 (+) Wisdom-(Increases Mental Resistance, Willpower, Mana Regeneration, Common Cense, and Intuition) 8 (+) Intelligence-(Increases Memory, Mana Pool) 7 (+) Charisma-(Increases Charm, Persuasion) 7 (+) Luck-(Increases Odds in Your Favor) 1 (+) Perception-(Increases Understanding, Senses, Awareness) 7 (+)

Skills: N/A

Paths: N/A

Trees: N/A

"Cool," he said. "Most of my attributes aren't bad. I guess my Luck being so low explains a lot of things..."

Like how he was stuck here, stranded and alone. He wished he knew where Iggy was so he could punch him. Which reminded him...

"Crap. I have no idea where any of those knuckleheads are..."

Tobias sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He wasn't worried his siblings would die. They could take care of themselves. Maybe...He couldn't count on Cassy. She was the timidest of the bunch. She was put high on his list for who to find first. Then there was Iggy, if only because Tobias just knew his brother would do something stupid if he wasn't there to rein him in.

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He struggled with deciding between Penelope and Penn. They would most likely be fine. Penelope was a social butterfly who can mingle with any kind of crown and Penn would probably find somewhere with lots of alcohol and big-breasted women. Sure, that might not be the best conditions he'd want for his siblings but he was sure they could handle themselves.

And that left Odysseia. A cloud passed over his face when he thought of his youngest sister. Scrap the list. He needed to find her first. Every time he let Ody get out of his sight...

He shuddered, thinking of that one time his parents had taken them to Paris. Ody was this close to burning the entire City of Love down.

Standing up, Tobias stretched and studied his surroundings. He spotted another one of those tortoises a few miles away and another pair as well. Frowning, he wondered how he was going to get out of here. And then he heard the familiar squelching sound.

"Ah, human! Good! You're awake!"

Tobias turned and looked down at the slime. "Oh, hey...Um, I never caught your name. That is...if you have one?"

The slime wriggled indignantly, "But of course I have a name, you insolent fool! You shall call me Lord Weiler!"

"Hmm...Okay. Well, Lord Weiler, I've got to get out of here. You see, I came here with my siblings and they're probably scattered around....wherever this place is. Could you help me out?"

Weiler stilled for a moment before rolling closer to Tobias. "What shall I get in return?"

"Umm...I don't know. What do you want?"

"What do I want? Now, that's certainly a most interesting inquiry. What do I want...Ah, yes! I would like to build an establishment-an inn is what I believe you humans call it-where all creatures of Mitochondrian would come far and wide to taste the delicacies made there!"

"...This world is called Mitochondrian?"

"Yes. What of it?"

Tobias felt a smirk forming on his lips. "Is it the powerhouse of anything?"

The slime wriggled again and made a disgruntled noise. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Er, nothing. I don't see how I could help you with that...And besides, you're a monster slime. Who'd want to come to your inn?"

"I suppose you have a point...Perhaps you could be the face of the inn!"

"I'm not sure about that...I just want to find my family and get home."

"If you do not wish to offer me your services, good luck getting out of here alive," Weiler said with a huff, hopping away.

"Getting out of-hey, wait! Come back here!"

The slime hopped away, ignoring Tobias' cries.

The young man sighed and folded his arms. What was he going to do now? Help a slime start an inn or find a way to survive amidst giant tortoises and other deadly creatures?

He stared at a faraway tortoise. It was huge, probably the size of his parents' minivan. No way could he fight that. Turning away, he raced after the slime, who hadn't managed to disappear.

"Weiler! Wait! I'll help you!"

The slime stopped and let out a laugh. "Splendid! Well, then, I suppose we have to make a formal agreement to make sure you don't go back on your word."

Tobias huffed. "I'm an honest guy. I wouldn't do that."

"Well, see to it that you don't change. Now, will you or will you not help me start the inn I desire?"

Tobias stared at the slime for a moment before he held out his hand and said, "Deal."

The slime wriggled for a long time and part of it started to swell. Tobias' mouth dropped open and his eyes grew wide. Crap, he thought. Did I do something wrong?

But the slime didn't change into some horrifying monster. Instead, that part stretched up into the air and former an arm with a hand attached to it.

"Haha! Witness the power of an Epic Grade, 6th Star Slime! Are you not amazed?"

"I'm...a bit creeped out but...This is cool," Tobias replied, gingerly taking the hand. It felt, well, slimy. There wasn't any other word to describe it.

After a brie shake, the two pulled their hands apart.

"Okay," Weiler said. "Now, it's time for us to leave."

Tobias nodded. "Do you have some special passageway that's safe?"

The slime chortled and wriggled, forming another arm that grabbed at what must have been its belly. "Ha! What are you expecting, human? To be free of danger once I agreed to take you with me?"

"Um...Yeah."

Weiler laughed again and another hand slapped the middle of its belly. "Hoho! No! You will need to fight your way out of here! How else will I know you're competent enough?"

The boys face blanched and he helplessly watched as the slime took a chunk of itself, threw it...

...And hit a small tortoise a couple of feet away. It screeched and rushed at Tobias, who was still staring stupidly at the rapidly gaining monster.

All he could think was, I'm only seventeen...And I've never even touched a girl before...Is this how my pathetic, virgin life ends?

And then yet another savior came, flying out of nowhere like Lord Weiler had and landing on the tortoises' shell. They grabbed its horn and yanked upwards, sending the beast into a screeching halt. It growled as Tobias' hero yanked even harder and the pulled out a dagger.

With one swift movement, they plunged the blade into the eye of the tortoise in a rather gruesome way. It wailed while Tobias felt a little woozy at the sight of blood.

Lord Weiler sighed. "Well, aren't you pathetic, human?"

What the slime got in response was the boy's body collapsing, his weak mind not able to take in the gory sight in front of him.

"He's quite weak...I wish I had killed him...Ah, but no...He likes potatoes...Hmph. I leave him for the adventurer and find him later."

With that, the small slime hopped away, unaware of how the adventurer behind it had her gaze on it. But she only shook her head and turned away; she wasn't eager to start another fight when she as short on time. Going back to the Imperial tortoise, she found it had died rather quickly after a few stabs in the head. It was rather young; the skin wasn't thick enough to resist the dagger. Although older Imperial Tortoises wouldn't fare well with it either. This dagger was special.

As the young woman went about looting her kill, a sudden movement caught her eye. It was Tobias.

He stirred, groaning and grabbing at his head. "Why does this keep happening to me? And where's that slime? Don't tell me it disappeared again."

He'd only been out for a moment but the slime was nowhere to be seen. What he got instead was the women flying at him, dagger in hand.

He let out a surprised shout and threw his hands up. "Don't kill me!"

The woman paused and only just managed to stop her knife from slitting the boy's throat. She stared down at him, looming ominously.

All Tobias could see was a face wrapped in cloth. The eyes-the only thing visible-staring down at him gave him the chills but he shakily stood up and offered the woman a smile, holding out his hand.

"Thanks for not killing me. My name's Tobias. And you?"

She stared at his hand for a moment before clocking him in the temple, knocking him out cold. The woman gave a satisfied grunt before going back to the tortoise. She collected it's horn, shell, and meat. After placing the loot in her inventory, she took a step back and watched the rest of the beast dissipate from the magic of the system.

Then she turned back to the unconscious boy. She wondered if taking him back to the camp was a good idea. She could always use a partner. Although he had fainted at the sight of blood...

Perhaps he could be useful in other ways? She studied his body and decided it was good enough. Hauling him over her shoulder, she made her way back to camp.

While Tobias was having fun getting knocked unconscious multiple times, his siblings were experiencing their troubles in this strange new world.

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