🦜-Nora

There was this strange heaviness over how familiar yet unfamiliar this commute had become. The same shimmering reservoir never left us. It still greeted us in all its grandeur. The secondary forest in all its mystery continued to listen to our conversations.

But this time round, Adik did not have to remind me to alight at Yio Chu Kang or to pause the conversation and resume it for dinnertime.

“Yio Chu Kang,” said the announcement over the PA system.

Adik looked down at my pinafore and gave a forced smile.

“You know, it’s not too late to appeal. Come follow me to the GO and we can get the forms,” he said as he held my hand.

I glanced up at him, only for my eyes to shift their focus towards what lied beyond the windows. It was a familiar sight: rows and rows of buildings. The PA’s headquarters. But my feet…I took a step forward as the train made its arrival at Yio Chu Kang MRT station. But I was no longer in secondary school. Muscle memory must be working its magic again.

Strangers must have thought that I was an Anderson Sec girl so lost in her thoughts, she had forgotten to alight at her stop. No ‘excuse mes’ were muttered as the doors opened, creating that familiar flushing noise.

The cabin was turning crowded. My commute had now turned unfamiliar. To Adik though, he was too accustomed to it; be it the crowds at Bishan and Ang Mo Kio, the lack of personal space. The doors came to a close, mocking the unfortunate souls who had missed the train by an inch. They would have to wait another three to four minutes for the next one.

“Hey, I just realised that we’ll finally alight at Bishan together!” said Adik as his eyes lit up.

And he was right. Different JCs but same MRT station. My lips curled into a smile.

“Next station: Ang Mo Kio,” the PA droned again.

It’s not too late to appeal. The badge on my pinafore marked me as different from the girls in his school. Yet…I had been one of them. I just traded one navy blue pinafore for another.

“I think I’ll stay but in SJC. If I go to RJ, I won’t know anybody there,” I said with a shrug.

Adik’s eyes dimmed. But he knew the story too well. No, Nora. No time to think about the past. I leant against the glass panel and averted my eyes towards the tracks. There was only one way to go. Forget the pinafore. I would be ditching it in a couple of days. Forget those words. I would meet new people and start on a clean slate.

I can do this.

🚲-Yu-chi

Less than 24 hours ago, I was on the KRT towards Hsiao-gang Station for Kaohsiung International Airport. I said my goodbyes to my Ah-ma, my cousins, my relatives, my former schoolmates, the familiar sights, my favourite brand of dumplings. All this to once again say hello to this country that remains a prison to me.

The train began to brake as it approached Paya Lebar MRT station. As an interchange, it was bound to be crowded. Just that I wasn’t used to a crowd of this level. People rushed into the train, not caring that there were others who needed to alight. A rather strange sight caught my eyes though. Walking into the train was a girl donning a messy ponytail. She should be heading southwards towards Dhoby Ghaut since she was wearing the TKGS uniform, but here she was – heading towards Harbourfront like me. She must be in the same boat as me.

The seats surrounding me started filling up. Battered office ladies, their eyebags still visible through their thick layers of make-up took their places opposite me. A couple of uniformed students hopped in. I wondered if they were going to join me in my new school. Would the TKGS girl be following me? I watched as her tiny body swayed with the movement of the train. Looking at her olive-coloured skin though, there was something very familiar about her. Like I had met her somewhere. But where? Maybe if she was in the new school with me, I would find out.

And I found myself letting out some hot air. New school, my ass! 45% of the new students there likely already knew who I was, and they most definitely were not ready to drop those perceptions of me. Those strangers to Chung Cheng would know eventually, but I had other things to worry about.

The train kicked up speed again, making its way towards Harbourfront. Wait a minute. The last train I boarded at Kaohsiung went towards Small Harbour, and the first train I boarded here in Singapore was going to Harbourfront. How poetic!

Just seeing the dead eyes and lifeless faces on the commuters made me ache for home even more than I already did. Why did I open my arms to rejection and another two years of being outcasted? Not even the tunnel winds could defeat those thoughts in my head.

No, Yu-chi. You survived three years here. Just press on for the next four, and you’ll be fine. And this route would be the one that would see me through for the next two – from Dakota to Lorong Chuan.

🌊-MINORI

I blew against the car window, letting my warm breath cool the surface. With my index finger, I wrote a simple ‘atarashii’, but in hiragana instead. One of Sekai no Owari’s older releases played on the stereo, doing little to ease the awkwardness in this car between father and son.

Otou-san had his eyes fixed on the road, cursing the morning traffic on the PIE. Maybe I should do more window doodles with just my breath and fingers. The biopolis decal hanging over the front made me wonder if that was going to be my future too. A shared future with my father? I stuck my tongue out at that.

And he didn’t care, as usual. I wished it were Tou-chan, Kaa-chan, and Keiko in this car ride taking me to my first day as a JC student instead. As I looked out the window, it was just factory building after factory building. Was the world outside the East really just that boring?

I chuckled to myself at what Alb told me, only to find my shoulders slumping at the thought of us not being together. Was I going to be the only Victorian over at SJC? Probably. The only east-sider? Likely.

“What’s wrong?” asked Otou-san, his eyes still fixed on the congested road before us.

“I miss Alb already,” I admitted.

“Well, maybe this is a good time for you to learn to stand on your own for a change. He’s a bad influence on you anyway,” he said.

I abandoned my condensation doodles and sank back into my seat. That was the so-called reason why I wasn’t allowed to go to VJC, but everyone, even Tou-chan knew it was because he was scared that his old teachers who were still there would badmouth about him to me. I was so curious to find out more about his strange antics.

And it just hit me. That I might be alone for the first time in my life made my face go blank. My blood was surging through my arteries like a tidal wave at the thrill of meeting new people. Yet, my head wanted to retreat to the rock pool and ask Otou-san if I could just appeal back to VJC.

No turning back, Minori. This is it. It’s time to be a man.