《The Fire Within Can Be Scary》Chapter 3, Dealing with Anger.
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Uano was silent as she pondered Alden's question. Her hands, which carried a silver necklace, froze. Uano gazed at that bright silvery object with a thoughtful expression and eyes which seemed to be able to see more than Alden could imagine. The normal Uano had gentle eyes that were laced with kindness, but now, her eyes had suddenly spawned a sharpness that had been previously unseen by Alden. Her smile faded the more she thought about Alden's question.
Her hands brought the silver necklace up to her eyes, so she could examine it closely. Then, after such a daunting silence, she spoke to Alden without turning to him. Her quiet words filled the air with a certain tension.
"It is a very broad question, don't you think?"
Alden didn't back down as she tried to dodge the question. He spoke with conviction, but also with a certain softness.
"Uano, you don't have to answer if you don't want to . . . but, after hearing about what you did for this village, and how you're a hero . . . do you really need me?"
Uano sighed, before finally placing the necklace inside a small crate. Then she looked Alden in the eyes for the first time during the conversation. Her words came out soft and gentle, compared to her previous words.
"To tell you the truth, I knew you were hurt the moment I saw you. When Noel brought you to me, I saw a small, injured child wandering through a dangerous forest. So yes, I don't need you, but I still want to help you."
Alden could see it in her eyes. She wasn't lying. She was that type of person, who would go out of their way to help anyone, even a monster. Noel let out a soft meowl and rubbed her soft fur on Alden's hand, almost as if agreeing with Uano's words. Alden spoke quietly as he struggled to keep tears from falling down his face.
"Would you help me if I told you why I was alone? Would you help an evil child who hurt his own mother?"
Uano, seeing Alden about to break down into tears, grabbed his hand and sighed at his foolishness.
"Child, I know not of what you did to feel such guilt, but I know it isn't your fault."
Alden wrenched his hand away from her and spoke in a hoarse voice. The sudden movement caused Noel to flick her tail in anger, but Alden didn't care. His emotions were way too volatile to even care about Noel at the moment.
"Don't act like you know me! I'm a monster, a monster who hurt her mother! I deserved to die in that forest, not be saved by some hero!"
Alden didn't know why he was so angry, or even who he was angry at. In the back of his mind, he knew she was just trying to help him, but a raging fire of emotions had already consumed all rational thought inside him. If Uano saw what had happened, she would act just like his father. She would strike him with eyes of disgust, just like the villagers.
Too hell with them all!
All the guilt burst and combusted inside him in an instant, forming the flames of anger inside him. These feelings of deep rage manifested, causing flames to burst inside the palms of his hands. They writhed around and almost danced as they greedily fed upon his anger.
So what if I'm a monster? Why am I still pretending to be a normal boy GOD DAMNIT!
Alden felt a fiery torent of negative emotions growing inside him. It was the same feeling he got when he had lashed out in anger at his mother. This feeling of almighty power combined with rage consumed his mind once more. Pride and Wrath, fueled by his guilt, swirled wildly inside him into a deadly bomb fire of negative emotions. It was a runaway reaction. The guilt inside him fed into anger, which then fed the flames. The flames then fed into his anger once more, completely a deadly cycle. Eventually, Alden would lose himself completely and repeat the past once more.
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The fire in his hands grew a deep crimson red and began to grow all the way to his elbow, but that was when it happened.
Alden, control yourself.
It was like a bucket of cold water had been poured on top of him. Alden looked down into his lap and saw the crimson flames being sucked into Noel's small feline body. His flames with such powerful rage imbued into and fueling them were consumed in an instant by this tiny, cute animal. No wind current had been activated or any kind of magic. It was as if she had absorbed all of his negative emotions straight from his spirit, and then stored them inside herself.
Alden, who didn't remember standing up, looked down at his hands and realized the brown tunic he had been wearing had been turned to a blackened, charred version of itself. It was a reminder of what he had almost done. He had almost repeated the past and lashed out at someone who was trying to help him. Alden fell unto his bottom and covered his face in his hands.
If not for Noel, what would I have just done? Could I have killed Uano if she hadn't snapped me out of it . . .?
Alden then felt the warm embrace of someone.
Someone who had seen his demonic, evil flames, and still hugged him.
Someone who had seen him ready to kill her had just wrapped him up in a warm, loving hug.
Someone who he had only known for a day, knew exactly what he was going through, more so than even himself.
Alden felt hot, salty tears flowing down his face once more.
" . . ."
Uano had seen him as the monster he was, and didn't back away. Alden didn't say anything. He felt he didn't deserve such a hug, or let alone still be around Uano. Despite himself, he still felt relief. At the end of the day, Alden was a coward who felt relief when someone else supported him. All the guilt and anger had been sucked away by Noel, leaving behind only a scared and tired Alden. He felt like the ash left behind from a great fire.
He felt like he could scatter into the wind at any moment. Not physically, but mentally.
Twice now, he had failed to control himself.
"I'm not afraid of you. If you are a monster, then this world is worse than monsters. Sleep now, you need to rest."
Alden offered little resistance. A warm wind swirled around him, as well as a soft bed of earth beneath him. Before he fully fell into the darkness that was sleep, Alden thought.
Thank you, Uano. Thank you, Noel.
Uano gazed at the sleeping Alden and thought about what had just happened and what she had learned. If what he said was true, then he had probably hurt his mother on accident and then ran away. Uano pet Noel as she thought to herself.
It's a miracle he didn't burn his entire village to the ground. To think that such a kind and gentle boy has such a strong affinity for a destructive element like fire . . .
All the elements had personalities, so to speak. Those with matching personalities often had better affinities with their elements. This is not a rule, but more of a guideline. People like Alden exist, after all.
Earth is strong and determined, but could also be hardheaded and uncaring.
Wind is light and swift, but it could also be uncaring and detached.
Water is caring and gentle, but it could also be overbearing and overprotective.
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Fire is wild and strong, but could also be impulsive and overreactive.
When an elemental mage has a strong affinity with their element, they can often become influenced by it. Earth mages can become stuck in their beliefs, and find it hard to listen to others. Wind mages could come off as uncaring and fleeting, as they prefer to move from place to place. Water mages could come off as overprotective, and even sometimes possessive.
All of the elements have their pros and cons. When you have a strong affinity for Earth, you may gain incredible strength through the earth, but you may also become slow and cumbersome. That is why Alden almost seemed to become a different person when his fire element was active inside him. Because his affinity is so strong, Fire's influence was equally as strong.
That being said . . . if Alden could master himself and his inner fire, he would be one of the strongest mages Uano had ever seen. He had the potential to equal even the four heroes, but that was a long way off. Right now, Alden was simply himself, a young adolescent soon to become a man. Uano gazed upon the peacefully sleeping Alden, and was reminded of Rovert. They looked so alike. It almost pained her heart to look upon his face at times. She remembered her dear pupil, all those years ago . . .
Uano then decided something at that moment, she would train him personally. She would teach him how to control that unruly fire. Some say not to play with fire, but Uano was about to do just that.
As long as I have you, Noel, I don't need to fear getting burned.
His flames are wild but powerful. Be careful, Uano.
Noel voiced her concern while purring as Uano pet her. Uano nodded, agreeing with her thoughts.
I feel responsible for him like he's my own grandchild.
Good.
Uano leaned back in her chair and began to rock back and forth absentmindedly. Noel disliked this sudden movement and hissed at Uano. She then gently stepped onto Alden's back and curled into a ball. Noel began to glow as she absorbed more and more of Alden's Spirit energy. The boy was like an ocean in terms of that.
Alden awoke to the sounds of the village. Horses snorting as they trotted on the dirt paths, people calling out their daily deals, the clatter of metal on metal from a nearby cooking stand, the dull sound of footsteps nearby . . . all of it came into Alden's ear like a waterfall of noises. It was chaotic and slightly nerve-racking.
It was the sounds of civilization. The Alden from a day ago might have been terrified of such sounds, but after last night, he felt fine as long as she was around. Uano was the only person who didn't look at him with fear after seeing his flames.
Alden rolled over, about to fall back asleep, when a certain aroma filled his nose. A gloriously delicious smell that basically begged him to get up. Alden recognized this smell as Uano's very own homemade chicken soup, a masterpiece of a dish. After a moment, Alden's stomach won over his grogginess and he proceeded to pull his body upwards into a sitting position. He had fallen asleep last night onto a small, bed-shaped piece of earth that had risen up from the ground.
Alden felt incredibly more relaxed than he did yesterday for some unknown reason. Maybe it was getting his guilt off his chest, or Noel absorbing his spirit flames. Regardless, he felt a lot better and happier than before. Over the short period he had known Uano, he already felt like she had seen his inner demons, and still accepted him for who he was. While Alden had been rubbing his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up, Uano had placed a big bowl of soup onto a table next to his resting place. Alden took it and gave his thanks to Uano.
"Thank you, Uano . . . I'm sorry about how I acted yesterday."
Uano waved her hand at Alden as if she was making fun of his foolishness.
"You don't need to apologize, Alden. I know that was the fire inside you talking, not the real Alden."
Alden froze in confusion as he was about to bring a spoonful of soup to his mouth.
"The fire inside me . . .?"
"Your affinity with fire is too strong for your own good. All the elements affect their user dear, in one way or another."
Alden thought over what she had said as he finished up his soup over the next few minutes. After a moment, it clicked. He thought about what he had felt during the activation of his flames and came to a sudden realization. Alden remembered Noel telling him that he wasn't a monster, despite what he had done. Alden also thought about how instead of lashing back at him, Uano and Noel both refused to return his anger with more anger. Instead, they kindly waited for him to calm down. but . . .
Alden was still to blame for losing control. This explanation only alleviated some of his guilt.
"Regardless, I lost control . . . I won't do that again."
"Child, don't lie to yourself."
Alden looked up in surprise, a little saddened by her words. Uano quickly explained upon seeing his face.
"Dear, losing control and experiencing the emotions of your element is the first step into controlling it. Once you know what's coming, you can begin to prepare for it. In a way, all elemental mages must blindly dive into their element. Losing control at first is common among those with the greatest potential."
Uano then became serious and stuck out a hand to the sitting Alden.
"As long as you can promise me to try your best, fear not about losing control. Me and Noel will keep you in check."
Alden laughed a little at her ridiculous comment. He took her hand and stood up straight for the first time in a while.
"Right!"
The day passed quickly since it was less busy than yesterday. Most of the products Uano had put up for sale had been sold, as all the villagers knew how much Uano's things were worth. Some even tried to pay a higher price than what was listed, but Uano always insisted on the price she listed. It was obvious why she was not only hailed as a hero but also like very much by the people here. Most people didn't even give Alden a glance, which he was very thankful for. The gazes of people he didn't know were hard to deal with at times.
Then, once the afternoon had come, and the sun was a few hours away from setting, Uano suddenly closed down the stand. She locked everything away in crates and asked William to guard them for her. Then, she led Alden out to a large field, half a mile or so away from the town. On top of a particularly high hill, a flat plain of about 50 meters across could be found. From this place, Alden looked out at the rolling seas of green grass, which stretched out farther than his eyes could see. Various bushes and small trees dotted the landscape, but the majority of the land was occupied by tall grass. Uano flicked her wrist, causing the wind to whip by like a blade, quickly making a nice, even lawn.
"Miss, what are we doing out here?"
"We don't want to burn down the village, now do we? Come on, conjure up some fire!"
Alden froze with wide eyes.
"Wait wait wait! I thought you would just stop me from going berserk, do you seriously think I can learn to control it?"
Uano chuckled, and with an evil grin, responded to Alden.
"Trial by fire . . . quite a fitting training method for one such as yourself."
Alden staggered backward as he felt the wind around him begin to swirl dangerously. Then, the ground began to rumble ever so slightly. Alden quickly jumped to the side as a pillar emerged just where he had been standing. Alden was about to keep moving, when he felt the air around him swirl, causing him to lose control in mid-air. He fell to the ground, sprawled out awkwardly.
"Ow, damn it . . . is this really necessary?"
Uano, who hadn't even moved, raised an eyebrow.
"If you had used your fire, you could have blown through that wind."
Alden rolled his eyes at her.
Where is the nice old lady from last night?! Where did this demon come from?!
Alden got to his feet and accepted his fate.
He took a deep breath in and held it.
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
4 . . .
5 . . .
and exhaled. The process of elongating your exhales and inhales was a technique that Alden's mother had taught him at a young age. He remembered the words of his mother . . .
. . . who he had betrayed.
Whenever someone makes you mad, just breathe honey.
Alden tightened his hands into a fist as he exhaled for the third time.
Uano calmly waited for him at the other side of the clearing, sensing him getting serious.
After a few moments of silence, only interrupted by the wind blowing through the grass, Alden opened his eyes. Uano grinned widely like the demon she was. She recognized those eyes. Alden's fire affinity had already begun to take its effect.
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