《Two And A Half Deadmen》Blitz

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"I seem to be climbing on ladders a lot lately," I grunted out as I climbed up my fourth ladder in the last forty-eight hours. Ben shrugged as he floated up beside me. I ground my teeth as my entire body throbbed in complaint. My arms weren't particularly injured but climbing quickly used enough of my body that the damaged portions were in considerable pain. Ben smiled at me as he lazily floated along, keeping pace without any visible effort. I glared. The incorporeal bastard had the gall to grin at my suffering. "You know what," I panted. "I can still have coffee and pizza!" Ben looked at me, then at the hundred feet or so I still had to climb to reach the catwalks. His smile grew wider.

A short, very painful, time later I reached the catwalks. Pulling myself onto them with a groan, I forced myself to my feet. I didn't have time to rest. I jogged along the catwalk, which shook slightly as I did. I could see the whole room beneath me, the chaos even more impressive from above. Another lobster had died, half of its body covered in burns and blocks of ice bigger than I was.

Trenton was using so much magic that I could actually feel the drain. The almost gel-like density the ambient magic usually took around here felt no thicker than water. Cheryl was still rampaging, crushing anything in her way as she attempted to hurt Trenton. Though I noticed she was missing another tentacle, leaving her with only five remaining. Halfway across the catwalk, I found the box of dynamite Cheryl had thrown up here. The box had broken, leaving the tan sticks scattered across the metal walkway.

I stopped and leaned over to pick one up. These things were awfully volatile. I looked over the railing to the battle below. Trenton was still throwing around blasts of fire, as well as shooting concentrated streams in an attempt to burn Cheryl through the floor. Well, if he was going to provide me with plenty of lighters, it seemed almost rude not to give him something to light. I kicked broken sections of the box over the edge of the catwalk, sending at least two dozen sticks of dynamite over the edge with them. Then I ran.

I knew dynamite wasn't nearly strong enough to reach me up here, but I still wanted to be as far away as possible. The explosive wouldn't do anything to Trenton, but everything else down there that wanted to kill me was still vulnerable to explosions. Even Cheryl, since these were not the magical variety. I almost made it to the opposite end of the room when the dynamite went off.

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I had been running with my hands firmly covering my ears, but the deafening booms still hurt. I checked below. The room below was a mess. Cheryl hadn't died, but she looked scorched, and she had lost another tentacle in the blast. The explosions had blasted chunks of the floor apart and killed a lobster. Trenton hadn't been fazed and was still sending lances of ice hurtling at Cheryl. I turned away from the scene and kept going.

I made it to the ladder, feeling slightly smug at having slipped past the horde without alerting any of them. They were all vaguely aware of my presence due to my aura. But since it was spread out across the entire room, they couldn't pinpoint me. I started down the ladder. It didn't hurt me less than the way up, but at least it was faster. "So," Ben said in a casual tone. "What's your plan when you get to the bottom?" I turned my head to look at him and snorted.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ben was currently moving in sync with me, hand over hand as we descended. But he didn't have any ladder. He was just making the motions through empty air. Ben stared back at me, totally straight-faced. "Asking you a question." I snorted again. Then glanced down at the floor.

The dozen feet or so between the ladder and the door was brimming with crabs. Crabs that seemed perfectly content to sit and wait for the fighting elsewhere to finish before moving. "And we have the slackers in the back, blocking the way!" I grumbled. "So... Do you actually have a plan?" I switched my glare to Ben. "Of course! Just give me a minute to think of how to explain it to you." Ben rolled his eyes, and I found myself smiling too. Humor always had made facing possible death easier.

I looked at the crabs, the smallest of them easily 100 pounds bigger than me. I chided myself. I shouldn't have needed Ben to point them out. I could feel them in my aura. I was so tired, and I had so many things moving in my aura that I had lost track. That wasn't good; if I lost my concentration now, it could get me killed.

I paused in my descent. I did need a plan. I could try and shoot at the crabs from here. I doubted Cheryl would hear the gunshots over all the noise in the room, and that was assuming the explosions hadn't deafened her. Trenton might hear me, but he was currently focused on killing Cheryl with the single-minded devotion of a zealot.

The problem with trying to shoot the crabs from here was that I wasn't sure if I could do it without falling off a ladder. I couldn't hold the shotgun one-handed, so I would need to lace one arm through the ladder and turn around to make the shots. I had one or two good sprints left in me, but I didn't know if I had the fine control to keep myself steady. I had a feeling if I tried, I would be more likely to end up falling than successfully landing my shots.

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My smile fell slightly as I realized I didn't have many options. I was going to have to blitz past the crabs and hope I was fast enough to avoid their claws. A part of my brain that was more rational than the rest of me pointed out just how large and intimidating those claws were. It wouldn't be difficult for them to cut me in half. I sighed and started climbing down again. What was another instance of possible death? Ben spoke up again when I was less than a dozen feet from the bottom. "So, the plan?" I paused for a brief second to smile at him. "Run really fast and hope I don't get hit." Ben groaned. I reached the bottom rung and stepped off onto hard concrete. I turned to face more than half a dozen crabs that all turned in unison as they noticed my presence.

I pulled my shotgun from its sling, the cool grip a reassuring weight in my hands. My body thrummed with tension as my mind tried to think through my next steps. I could feel them, feel everything around me. I could feel them shuffle from side to side, my aura noticing the motion as it happened, picking it up faster than my eyes.

The first crab charged. Its red bulk rushing towards me like a scuttling wall. I yelled and juked to the right, hurling my whole body into the motion before springing left. The crab's body sailed through the area I had been and kept going, finding no resistance. I darted forward, not slowing. The air reeked of salt, blood, and bleach. The scents strong enough to make my nose burn. Left! I felt the motion in my aura and reacted on reflex. The shotgun snapped to the left, and I fired three times.

The first shot obliterated the claw that had been sweeping for me, and the next two took out the truck-sized crab's legs. I kept moving. I couldn't stop. I ducked another crab then charged forward, my feet skidding on the concrete. The water from the tanks had washed over this area, leaving a layer of slime on the floor. I ducked down as another claw sailed over me. I was almost halfway there! I jumped right, avoiding another charge. Then burst forward, keeping my momentum as another crab tried to tear into me. Adrenaline pounded through me, and I felt. I felt good. Great even.

Despite my exhaustion and injuries, there was something about having my aura free that made me feel like a great weight had been lifted from my back. I dodged and spun and fought. Moving through the crabs with the occasional sprays of chitin and blue blood. And the whole time, I never stopped moving. The doorway was only a few feet away. I just needed to get through it. A crab stepped in front of me, blocking off the doorway. There were other crabs on either side. I had nowhere to dodge. I pumped and pulled the trigger, but the gun clicked empty.

My eyes widened as I barreled towards the giant crab. There was no way I could stop in time and left, and right were both blocked. I yelled, then sped up even more. The crab scuttled towards me, massive claws clacking at the air. Just before I came into its reach, I dropped, throwing my legs out into a slide. I flew over the slimy concrete, passing straight under the crab before it realized what was happening. I threw myself back to my feet, stumbled, then made it to the door. It had been broken in by Cheryl, her massive form tearing straight through the steel door and its locks.

But the hole she had made was surprisingly small, only a little bit bigger than my torso. I dove straight through that hole like a trained show dog jumping through hoops. I landed on the other side in a heap. It probably should've hurt, but at that moment, I had enough adrenaline pumping through my system to almost stop my heart. I heard the crabs reach the door, but they were far too big to fit through the doorway, even if it had been totally cleared of steel wreckage.

I slowly climbed to my feet. A moment later, Ben floated through the wall. He had stayed out of sight while I was dodging, not wanting to distract me. I felt amazing! I had never used my aura like that before, so effortlessly. I smiled at the crabs that were crowding around the doorway, only for that smile to freeze on my face a second later as I looked past them. Cheryl and Trenton had paused in the fight, and both of them seemed to be gathering their strength before they started another round. Cheryl had turned her head and had one massive eye glaring straight at me. "Shit."

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