《Job Arseoth - A Choose Your own Adventure》Chapter 12: Protocol? F*ck That

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Date: Seventeenth of January, year 810 Post Seminal War (810 PSW)

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Enra sniffled, staring through bleary eyes at the letter, “well, considering who the invitation is from, I can’t exactly ignore it.”

Job nodded, “ok, we can work with that. Is the invitation just for you, or can you bring others along?”

“Myself, one significant other, and up to two ‘escorts’, which means guards that don’t look too obvious.”

Job grinned, “alright, let’s abuse the nine hells out of that. Baar’miin, isn’t your grandmother and sisters spending a lot of time at the temple anyway? And don’t you have a legitimate excuse to be there too, being a Cleric of Bahamut and all?”

Baar’miin bobbed her head, “yes yes. Could bring family if they wanted to come, perch on rooftops with the druids.”

“So that’s settled, just be sure to not piss off the inevitable security types, this is a noble’s wedding after all.”

Enra gave a watery giggle.

Job turned to her, “So you can take Sly as your significant other, and Index and I will be the ‘escorts’. We all go, have a good time at the noble’s expense, and thumb our collective noses at them while staying just this side of offensive.”

Enra burst out laughing, “you have no idea how much protocol you just kicked over. This... This is going to be glorious!”

Job raised one eyebrow, “there is the issue of buying the requisite fancy clothes. Not like I have much more than a few tunics and pants more suited for the streets then a dinner party.”

Enra waved that off, “Oh please. I’ll just tap into the family account and bill my sister for the wedding and reception outfits for all of us. It’s not like she can object… or will even notice it in the mess. Elci’s is just the other side of the old quarter, and she’ll have whatever we need.”

Jon slapped his knees, “that’s settled then. But you’re probably going to have to instruct us on some of the finer points of noble protocol so we don’t trip on our swords and embarrass you.”

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Enra shook her head, “don’t worry about that, your mere presence will stick a bone in everyone's throat anyway. Just stay yourselves, stay polite, and you’ll do just fine.”

Index shifted uneasily, “how large of a metaphorical bone?”

Enra’s grin was a predator's smile, “Choking hazard, easily. Don’t worry about it, any repercussions will fall on my head. And just this once? I couldn’t care less what they are.”

The sign outside Elci’s wasn’t that impressive. A painted wooden panel hung from a pair of short shins, displaying the spool and needle of a tailor’s shop over the bolt of cloth for a clothier’s shop and the shoe of a cobbler / leatherworker. The building was relatively new, painted in clean white, and had the distinctive two-part door of a shop owned and operated by a gnome. A few steps inside the door revealed a very different, and much more impressive interior. Rows of shelves and racks stretched all the way to the back of the building, which Job now realised went to the far side of the block, with offices and workshops on one side and changing rooms and checkout counters on the other.

Enra led the way deeper into the shop, “alright, I’m going to go arrange for payment, but you all need to pick out three outfits each. One for the ceremony in the morning, a second one for the reception that night, and a third set of regular travel clothes. Sly, stick close to me, I’ve got some ideas for our outfits. Index, try the middle right section, it should have some looser wear that won’t get stuck in your knees or elbows. Baar’miin, you’re going to need some tailoring work for your wings, so follow me and I’ll make sure Elci set you up with a tailor. Job, the men’s section is on the left and the spellcaster’s area tends to be towards the back of the building.”

With that, Enra strode off confidently, Sly and Baar’miin training in her wake, leaving Index and Job to stand there in bemusement.

Index shrugged. “I’ve never needed more than this,” she gestured to the simple brown tunic and shorts, “but I guess something more fancy is in order. Good luck in your search.” She bowed and headed off in the direction Enra had indicated, leaving Job on his lonesome.

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Job shrugged, steadily getting used to being somewhat on his own on outings like this one. Despite being granted a room in the employee dorms adjacent to the Trebor Mage Academy Library where he worked, with Sly and the urds in the next two rooms over (and Enra spending more than a few nights in Sly’s room), the girls tended to leave him alone when it came to shopping and the like. Job didn’t mind too much as it got him out of being the pack mule for the group. It also meant he got a single-bed room, with only the one lockable door and two windows, all to himself.

Job shook his mind out of the old rut and headed into Elci’s. The men’s section was on the left as promised. Job walked past displays of tunics, pants, shorts, shoes, belts, undergarments, socks, capes, and robes. The clothing got more impressive, and presumably more expensive, as he approached the back of the store. Job turned a corner past a rack of plain-colored robes in the style of religious acolytes or clerics and found the spellcaster section, helpfully marked by the image of a pombus ‘wizard’ hat: grey, wide-brimmed, and high-peaked, with the tip battered and bent from door frames. He shook his head at the idiocy of the image; no spellcaster wore such a hat, but it was used in plenty of plays and depictions of spellcasters to be an effective short-hand image, even across language barriers.

Job promptly ignored the two-toned wizard robes and tunics, looking instead for the single-color metallic thread embroidered sorcerer outfits. There was nothing saying he couldn’t wear a ‘wizard-style’ robe and hat combo, but job liked they way his current robes felt and looked and saw no reason to change up anything rignt now. Something more ‘fancy’ was definitely in order for a Noble wedding and reception, and to Job that also said ‘more pompous.’ Not outrageously so, he wasn’t about to play the fancy hat game with the religious orders, Job would just lose. So instead he started looking for colors. Job didn’t know exactly what he was looking for, only that it would be recognisable.

Then he saw it. Silk robes in a dark purple just this side of midnight blue-black, brass thread embroidery at the trimming, with a pair of dragons on each shoulder; heads and forequarters coming down the front, hindquarters and wings across the back. Job ran a hand down the fabric, feeling its quality. It warmed slightly at his touch, flexing under his fingers. Not mere silk then, but expensive mageweave; cloth treated to be more receptive to enchantment. Job lifted it off of the hanger and held it up. It was almost the right size, nothing a tailor couldn’t fix. Ordinarily he would have just lived with how the fit was but Job would also have never considered anything so expensive. Enra was picking up the bill, she could deal with a bit of a charge for tailor’s work too.

The next aisle over held tunics and pants, for spellcasters who wanted to break away from the ‘traditional’ robes. Job liked his robes for the pockets, both in the robe and on the requisite belt, but a tunic would work well for the reception. It would be dressy enough to clearly be formal wear, but no so dressy as to be overdressed. Job settled on one in the same shade of purple, trimmed with a brass-thread flame motif, and a pair of earth-brown pants with the same brass flame trim. A quick inspection found both tunic and pants to be silk mageweave as well, and a more thorough examination of all three pieces of clothing revealed minor durability and cleaning enchantments; lesser versions of Mending and Prestidigitation effects.

A few steps away was the leatherwork section. Job picked out a black leather belt with more than enough pouches and a brass dragon buckle, and a pair of comfortable black leather boots.

That only left the travel outfit. Job looked down at his plain grey robe and decided that it would have to go. He absently patted Nibble’s head as he pondered the options.

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