“Reinwald! Why would wake me in such a way? Have I been such a lousy mother to deserve this?” Oda was indignant in her words at the rude awakening. She knew no servant would dare to wake her up in such a way, disrespect like this was a good way to lose a few fingers or a hand. The disciplining of her children was a different matter entirely.

She sat up and rubbed her eye to appease the discomfort, opening the other to give a stern look at her son as the begging of his punition.

Instead, she saw little Shaw looking at her wide-eyed, finger still outstretched by the side of her bed.

They stared at one another is stunned silence.

Then Oda quickly scooped up Kolost into her arms, hugging him with incredible force. She began to rock him back and forth in her arms, only a god could take Kolost from her embrace.

“Oh, thank Lelium that you're alive! I didn’t know if you would wake up from this one. The priest said there was nothing to be done but that …” at this point Oda was beginning to shed tears, Kolost could feel her breath catch in her throat as she spoke.

Until now, he enjoyed her warm embrace, this was the first time he had been held like this. He may have gotten used to the idea of a life he never had, but the sobs reminded him of the terrible truth.

The tears weren’t meant for him. They were for Shaw, youngest of the Redwoods. Perhaps borne of surprise but not unwanted. A life he had usurped for himself. The gods may have pushed him down this path, but he could not blame them for what’s happening right before his eyes.

The guilt permeated his being. How did he convince himself that he can just start over? That one way or another he could continue playing the little lord unobstructed? His mind in turmoil with itself, he tried to maintain his façade, but tears started to well up in his eyes.

Endure Kolost. Endure.

Siddil’s voice, almost a whisper, helped to clarify his thoughts a little.

Maybe this is the price paid for his actions. As he didn’t murder Shaw, it's fitting that his punishment be not physical pain but a slow, constant torment. Torment from all the people who are supposed to love him. Every loving embrace, every proud look and every just punishment will be a thorny reminder that this life he’s living in is stolen. Nothing he would ever achieve could he claim for himself, everything he has and will have all belong to Shaw Redwood.

Having imposed some semblance of order upon his thoughts, he wiped his moist eyes with his sleeves—which to his detriment - Oda noticed. She had calmed during his crisis and peered down to comfort him.

“It's okay, Shaw, everything is fine. Don’t start crying now, or I might start weeping again.”

The warmth in her voice shook Kolost’s newfound resolve, but he started to wipe the tears from his eyes nonetheless.

“Now let us go wake the others and have breakfast together. Father will be back in a few days, then we will finally forget all about this. Alright?” she gently held up Shaw to look at him.

Kolost sniffled one last time and look at Oda trying to look as meek as possible and nodded.