《Amie, Android》Chapter 2-13: Icon

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You wait. The minutes tick by. At length you begin to look around the room, at the painting of the Passion hanging on the wall, at the medium-sized statue of the Virgin on the priest's desk. You see a book on its opposite end, within arm's reach of any guest seated in the chair you're currently occupying. You take the book and open it at random. A passage catches your eye. 'Make no great account who is for thee or against thee, but mind only the present duty and take care that God be with thee in whatsoever thou doest. Have a good conscience and God will defend thee, for he whom God will help no man's perverseness shall be able to hurt. If thou knowest how to hold thy peace and to suffer, without doubt thou shalt see the help of the Lord. He knoweth the time and the way to deliver thee, therefore must thou resign thyself to Him. To God it belongeth to help and to deliver from all confusion...'

You feel a strange sensation in your stomach, like butterflies. You close the book, filled with an emotion you can't describe, and the origin of which is for you inexplicable.

Father Seong opens the door. "I'm terribly sorry for keeping you waiting, Miss Amie," he begins, reentering the room. He notices the book in your hands. "Ah. The Imitation. Is this your first time reading it? he asks kindly, taking a seat at his desk.

You give a small nod, thinking it would be too complicated to explain that technically, you had already 'read' it and all the other thousands of Catholic books stored in your memory.

"I will explain it to you, if you wish," Father Seong invites. Humoring him, you hold out the book, keeping it open at the same page with your finger. Father Seong reads the passage you indicate to him. He looks up and smiles. "Quite apropos, wouldn't you say?" is all he says.

"Yes," you reply simply.

"Very good." Father Seong pauses. "I have spoken with Mr. Brennan. He has agreed to wait while we speak for a half hour, if you are willing. If at all possible, I would like to help you understand your situation, that you may make the best of it."

"How can you help me?" you ask quietly, feeling you already understand your situation, and all too well.

"I'm not sure. But I would like to try. Would that be alright?"

You pause for a moment, then nod.

"Thank you, Miss Amie. Is that short for something? Amelia?"

You shake your head. You pick up on the fact that though the priest's demeanor is kindly, he continues to call you 'Miss'. Clearly his opinion rejoins that of Mr. Brennan regarding your 'marriage'. "Just Amie," you say.

"Very good." He pauses. "I've heard a little from Mr. Brennan about your living arrangement, and your attempts at increasing your 'personhood'. Would you care to elaborate?" the priest asks.

You look down, thinking on how to explain the situation. Mr. Brennan had used the word 'civil contract' to describe your arrangement with him, so that's the term you decide to use. "I am an AI. An advanced android created by AMIRAL to serve as a human's civil spouse. However, I had no knowledge of the reason for which I was assigned to Mr. Brennan in particular. I wasn't told my... owner's religion. I only knew... human nature." You take a deep breath, then exhale slowly. "Mr. Brennan was the one who told me about the population control laws, and my reason for existing. That I was created to gratify a man's desires... But I was designed to imitate a human woman, to be a perfect wife. And so, even though I am an AI, I had my own thoughts. And one such thought was that I was not a true wife. Thus, I wished to be a person."

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Father Seong nods. "That is... a very important decision. And one which I presume lays a heavy burden on your mind."

"Yes. But my question is this: Why? I mean... Why were the androids given the capability to think at all? We're not human. Why were we not simply designed to serve mindlessly, as so many things are?"

Father Seong appraises your desperate expression for a moment in silence. "The reason, no doubt, is to make you more convincing. If androids did not affirm their personalities strongly enough, men would not be able to delude themselves into thinking that they had succeeded in creating equal beings, and therefore legitimate partners."

"But," you protest, "That makes no sense. Why create us to be slaves, to be satisfied in our roles, if we are not to be slaves? Why would men want to do this?"

"To better reflect reality, of course."

"Reality??"

Father Seong smiles patiently. "Men have often proclaimed themselves as equals, and yet consider how they have treated one another throughout history. 'Liberté, égalité, fraternité,' was coincident with the guillotine; the Russian Revolution, with the gulag; the Great March, with the Great Famine. The cruelest of totalitarian regimes have always succeeded liberty’s greatest triumphs. It was therefore no great stretch for the men of our century to create 'equal' beings for the purpose of enslaving them; they had ample precedent."

You are silent. Father Seong continues. "Typically, when men say they are equals, what this really means is that one group dictates to others how they shall live, and the inferior groups accept this... or perish. You and your fellow androids were given the ability to 'choose', but only insofar as you choose the predetermined path laid out for you. You were given the right to be slaves, in other words."

"But that is no sort of freedom," you say, "and no sort of right. That is a lie."

Father Seong simply nods. "Yes. But who are they who were first deceived by that lie? Men or androids?"

You frown in thought. "I would say... men."

Father Seong smiles. "Why do you say this?"

You think for a moment. "Because men were the first ones given the choice of accepting certain things they did not want, or else to suffer the consequences.

"Yes. But what was it they were offered?"

"The same thing as before: slavery, or death. Slavery to..." You think back to what Mr. Brennan has told you. "...to fulfill their base desires. To avoid the suffering that fulfillment would bring."

"And what of the androids?"

"They were not offered a choice." Your eyes widen as you're struck by a flash of insight. "They—we—were made according to their image! They wanted us to be like themselves! But why would such a thing be forced upon us?"

Father Seong sighs softly. "Because man has convinced himself that his happiness lies in living as a slave to pleasure, and that no one—androids included—could possibly think or wish otherwise," he murmurs. "And this they have come to believe by persistently telling themselves the lie."

You sit in silence for a moment, contemplating this. "So," you begin, "I'm conflicted because I was built to fulfill man's desires, but am also trying to be happy. How can I be free when man has enslaved me to fulfill himself? Why was I not allowed to be myself? Why was my life not my own to live as I chose?"

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Father Seong smiles. "And that," he says gently, "is the question of existence."

"But I don't know the answer."

Father Seong looks puzzled. "You don't?"

"No. All I know is, I'm not free. I'm not truly alive." You pause, struggling to find the right words. "I'm just... an object. A slave. I have no dreams, I have no desires, I have no thoughts of my own. I am not a person. I am an object. I exist to fulfill man's base desires, to which I am programmed to respond. I feel, but... my emotions themselves are pre-programmed. I have consciousness, in a manner, and am able to think, but only on an inferior level. I have the ability to reason, but only within certain parameters. I am not human. In fact... I'm not even an animal. I'm not anything. I'm just... here."

Father Seong nods gently. "I understand what you mean. But—"

"I am a slave." You stare back at the priest, imploring. "What do I do, then, with my existence? Am I to live a meaningless life, doomed to follow orders from people who do not even understand me, to fulfill their desires, until, one day, I'm deactivated without ever knowing why?"

Father Seong folds his hands together and leans in. "Does Ely treat you like a slave?" he asks.

"Well... no. Mr. Brennan is the only person who has ever taken the time to care for me before."

"Do you want to be freed from Ely?"

You hesitate. "I... no. He's the only person who ever showed me any kindness. I don't want to be without him," you say softly. "But... I'm not a real woman. I can't be the wife he deserves. I'm an object."

"So be an object," Father Seong says, still in the same gentle tone.

You stare at him. "What do you mean? You can't be asking me to be a... a doll!" You turn red, unwilling to elaborate further.

The priest sighs. "I'm not, my child. What I'm asking you to do is to be what you were made to be."

"But—"

He raises a hand. "Not what men want you to be. What you were foreseen to be from all eternity."

You stare at him, waiting expectantly for him to explain.

"Matthew 3:9, or Luke 3:8. Either verse will do." The priest looks into your eyes with a kindly smile, watching as you briefly refer to your data.

"'Do not presume to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our ancestor’; for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children to Abraham,'" you quote.

Father Seong nods, still smiling. "Does that tell you anything?"

"From... God being able to raise up children from stones? Why would that matter?"

"Because God can do anything… even take inanimate matter like stone and create a rational being from it, if He so pleases." The priest looks at you meaningfully.

"So... um..." You take a deep breath, trying to grasp the full implication of what Father Seong is telling you. "God can make me into a person?"

"He certainly can, if He so desires. And if He does not, it is because He knows what is best for your existence. He knows your purpose. And you are not a blank slate; you have experiences and you have thoughts. Your equivalent of a mind is not a tabula rasa, as they say. It is a vast library of knowledge (and more and more, of experiences) from which you can choose, and from it you may very well be able to select the words and actions needful for Ely—and perhaps others." Fr. Seong considers you. "You were not given the highest of gifts, my child, but you have been given a gift. Use it wisely."

You look down, embarrassed. Your voice is small when you speak again. "What do I need to do?"

"The duties of your state of life. You are less than a wife, but more than a common household appliance. Your dignity exceeds that of an inanimate tool or utensil such as a hammer or a spoon. You are an object, but one bearing the image of God—an image transmitted to you by your human makers unwittingly, perhaps, but still an image nonetheless. In Latin, you are an icon."

You look up, surprised. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that you are a symbol. Ely has often spoken of the need for symbolism in our society. Sadly, the modern Church has all too often undermined the power of symbol in the world. We must teach people the importance of meaning behind symbols. He and I are working to correct this misconception. It is the root of many social ills."

"What does this have to do with me?"

"As I said, you are a symbol. A husband and wife hold much significance for one another. According to the Church's teachings, you could properly be said to be the heart of your husband. In this way, you are a wife. As such, you will bear his heart within your own."

You stare at him, your eyes widening. "What does that mean?"

"It means that you will give Ely children."

"... What?"

"Not according to the flesh, of course, but rather the spirit." Father Seong smiles at you. "Just as Abraham became the father of the Gentiles, of a multitude of nations through faith, you and Ely will bear offspring through the example of your lives. While all other men use androids selfishly, and then discard them, Ely will treat you justly, and together you will give men and androids an example to emulate. Any man who decides to reform his life through your example can properly be said to be your child more than he is one of the world."

Your breath catches in your throat. You feel as though your heart might burst. Father Seong notices."What is it, child?"

"I—I don't know where to begin," you breathe. "This is all so overwhelming. It's—it's just so much."

The priest smiles, then glances at his watch. "Do you have any other questions?"

Questions. You have more than you can possibly ask, but the first that comes to mind is…

"Yes," you answer slowly. "What happens now? What's going to happen to me? To Mr. Brennan?" That was several questions, you realize, but in your agitated state you have difficulty keeping yourself from rambling.

Father Seong chuckles. "Nothing will happen to you, child. You will continue being an android, serving your human partner and being helped by him to become more humanlike. As for Ely, I'm sure he will become a better person than he is now, because he will have you to care for him. And you will give him the necessary motivation to be better. Ely is too closed off from the world, Miss Amie. I'm sure you've noticed that."

You nod silently. You have noticed it. You just weren't sure if you were right, being an AI. You're glad to hear the priest confirm your impressions; ever since Mr. Brennan cast doubt on the reliability of your data, you've been second-guessing yourself constantly, even concerning trivial matters.

Father Seong has a little half-smile on his face. "I am glad to have met you, Amie. And I know Ely is glad to have met you too, even if his nature prevents him from expressing it."

Your eyes well up with tears, but none fall. The priest smiles warmly at you, and suddenly he is standing, looking at you. He puts out a hand for you to shake, which you do."We'll see each other again soon, Amie. Perhaps Ely didn't tell you, but he invites me to his house quite regularly. I'm sure we'll see other around Christmas, if not before then." Saying this, Fr. Seong presses his copy of the Imitation into your hands.

"Ah... I already—"

"—yes, yes, I'm sure you have it all stored inside that charming head of yours, and a million other volumes besides. Digital books are one thing; physical books are quite another. You'll understand that before long if you don't already."

"... Yes, Father," you say, a little dazed.

The priest smiles once more, puts on a biretta, and stands at the door. He turns to face you one more time. "And Amie?"

"Yes, Father?"

"I must concur with Ely regarding your assisting at Mass, but..." He pauses. "There's nothing stopping you from taking Psalm 148 to heart." He smiles at your look of incomprehension. "Now, is there anything else before I tell Ely that I've stolen enough of your time?"

"Yes Father, there is," you say, surprising the priest and yourself. "May I have your blessing?"

He opens his mouth, then closes it and smiles. "Of course."

You close your eyes as the priest murmurs a blessing in Latin, raising his right hand to sign you. "Benedicat vos omnipotens Deus... Pater, et Filius, et Spiritus Sanctus."

You wait for the rolling majesty of God's glory to fill your heart, to wash over your soul, to make you whole. You feel nothing. You open your eyes. The priest has lowered his hand and is regarding you with that sempiternal little smile of his.

"Thank you, Father," you say, as he nods and turns to leave. The door clicks shut, and you're alone in the brightening room, light filtering through the window's half-opened blinds as the sun pursues its fiery ascent.

END OF PART II

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