So, uhm, i died.

…i think.

Sounds strange? Don't get me wrong, i know it does. I'd be the first to laugh if someone started his story like that. But that's the best way i can describe it, really.

Let's see… maybe if i start from the beginning, it'll come out clearer.

I am, was, a farmer. Yes, you heard it right. Many may not consider the profession particularly glamorous but to me it was life. The hard, honest work on the field; the joy of seeing the crops grow and ripen; the satisfaction of the harvest. To me, there couldn't be a greater pleasure, and it still there isn't!

That was why my father left the farm to me when he passed away. Oh, i am sorry, i am jumping ahead. Never been one for stories. You don't need to talk much when you do my kind of work…

I was born in a family of farmers. My father was a farmer, my grandfather was a farmer and so on and on. For all i know, we were farmers back when people built pyramids and whatnot. Ours is the same blood that runs in the stalks of grain. We have sunburned faces and hands that are tough as rocks. Not to brag, but i am kinda proud of my lineage.

I was the eldest of three, but apparently, i was also the only one with the farmer blood in my veins.

My middle brother was a good-for-nothing; always whining, never working, never listening, always spending our money on stupid fun, always searching for what he was the first not to know. As he grew up, he turned rotten and stubborn. It took a good beating from my dad, and then one from me, to teach him that family is family and you don't drag it in your mess. He took to the city and stopped writing. He's still there from all i know. I can imagine him, all restless and rolling, jumping from one stupid fun to the next, always running from his own unhappiness and never stopping to ask why was it.

But enough of him. My Pa used to say that one chooses his own path. He chose his and that was that.

My youngest brother was a strange one. He wasn't bad or anything, he was just… different. In our family, we've always been stubborn and fatalists. I think farmer life gives you that outlook. But he was always why this and why that, how that works and what this does. He liked to walk alone in the forest and could pass hours by the pond, throwing rocks and watching how they bounced on the water. If you searched for him, you could be sure you'd find him leaning somewhere, staring toward the horizon like he was trying to see what there was behind it. More than anything, he liked to read. Read read read. His room overflowed with the damn books. Pa and Ma were mad for him and never said no to buying him books, when we could afford it.

There was enough to be jealous, but i never managed to. You should have seen him to understand. He was this runty little thing, always sniffling for something, with these big blue eyes that always seemed to hold a question into them. It helped that he loved me to bits, maybe because i was always there to throw in the dirt whoever tried to bully him. Whenever he could, he always dragged me at the pond, or in a ridge, and read to me from whatever big books he was interested in. Sometimes it was about the stars, others about how stuff is held together, others about people living in the past doing this and that. He turned brighter when he read, like he got hooked to a generator or something like that.

I can't say i really understood. To me, the world began and ended with the field, the house and the town. Going down to the city for me was the greatest adventure. And it was okay. Never been particularly curious. Knowing how to grow and nurture was enough for me.

But he liked it, and i, gotta admit it, didn't dislike it. Hearing him made things i'd have never imagined blossom in my head, like a field after being planted and watered.

From what i know, i was his only friend back then. Who knows, maybe it was his way to share a bit of all that good he found in those books of his.

As he grew up, he immersed himself in his studies and we drifted apart. He turned into some kind of big-shot scientist, no idea exactly about what, while i inherited the farm when poor Ma and Pa passed away.

It was a good life, until the day when everything changed.

Me and my brother always remained in touch despite the years and distance, but it was some time i didn't hear from him. He was supposedly taken in some big project of his. So i decided to go and make him a surprise visit.

I loaded my truck with a can of oil, one of wine, a box of potatoes and one of tomatoes and a few bags of greens - all stuff coming straight from my gardens, not that shit them city people stuff their faces with - and was on my way. It was quite a long drive, but whatever. I just drove through the night.

Eventually, i reached the city where my brother lived. Unsurprisingly, he wasn't home: the bugger was probably pulling another long-nighter to that wacky place where he worked.

I call it wacky, but i suppose that others would call it other ways. It was this big government compound, all tall and imposing, with sentry posts, guards and white coats coming and going. They never let unauthorized people inside, but i'd just have them give a call to my brother and meet him outside when he was done.

The place was supposed to be like a fort, but as soon as i pulled over, it was clear that something was very wrong.

A crowd of people assembled outside, with many more rushing out the great doors. Guards ran out and about, and there was shouting and panic everywhere.

Alarmed, i made my way to the first guy looking like an officer. The man, a tough-looking veteran that looked like he could stroll through a bombardment zone without a care in the world, was busy hurriedly handing out orders. The panic clearly etched over his features only made more real for me the gravity of the situation.

He barely watched me when i asked what happened; he just replied in a hurried tone. Apparently, some big experiment had gone wrong and now stuff that nobody had no idea about was going on, how and why they had no idea, hence the panic.

I cursed. That's why i called that place wacky. I can get wanting to invent new things to make life better or what, but that place always gave me the vibe of the nosy kind. And there wasn't anything worse than a nosy fucker putting his fat nose in places best left alone.

When i asked about my brother, he told me that he was still inside.

I needed no other motivation. I rushed in the building, ignoring the cries of the guards calling me back.

It was the first time i got to enter the place, but finding the way was surprisingly easy. I just went the opposite way the flow of fleeing people. I was surprised by how many there were, rushing and pushing each other to reach the exit. There had to be hundreds packed in there. What in the blue were they doing earlier?

It was difficult to barge my way through. The place was utter chaos. I am a big lad, always been, but even i had to flatten myself against the wall from time to time to avoid being swept away by the rush of people. More than once i had to knock down some wild-eyed guy swinging at me in their rush to escape. It didn't help that the place was huge. I ran down corridors, descended stairs, walked through doors and then through some more stairs.

Eventually, the flow of escaping people slackened and i emerged in a massive hall.

If i thought i had seen chaos, that place made me change my mind. Fire engulfed half of the room, the strange machinery filling it buzzing and fizzling wildly. People screamed and ran. Some in lab coats worked feverishly at consoles and monitors, trying to do i don't know what.

And right at the center of it all, the biggest, craziest contraption i had ever seen. It looked a bit like those big things astronomers use to recreate planets and stuff, only bigger and far more complicated. I doubt i my words can even come close to describing it. Whatever it was, it whirled madly, its massive circles of steel rotating around what looked to be a roiling ball of electricity.

Ripping my gaze away from it, i frantically looked around for my brother. He was supposed to be the head honcho in that place and i couldn't picture him turning tail and running. If he had to be somewhere, it was there.

Sure enough, i spotted him quickly.

Slumped on a console directly in front of the contraption, the moron weakly pawed at the controls, half of his head covered in blood.

Rushing to him, i checked his conditions. I wasn't a medic but you didn't need to be one to see that he needed assistance quickly. That hit looked nasty.

As i threw his arm around my shoulders, i heard him mumble my name in disbelief. He turned his head and our eyes met, recognition flashing into his. I grinned. Well, if he could recognize my mug, he was good enough in my book.

But there would be time for family reunions. Now we had to get out. Fast.

I pulled him up, but then he started to resist. He needed to stop the reaction, he said. Before somebody could get hurt, before a catastrophe happened. Well, tough luck. He couldn't stop anything with his head split open. I was getting him out of there, happy or not.

I always was a big guy and people call me stubborn. So, ignoring his protests, i just lifted him bodily, chair and all, and made to carry him away.

That's when it happened.

I felt it rather than actually seeing it. A sudden change in the air, like if someone had slammed open a window. There was a deafening, hollow sound and then a rush of wind all over me. Alarm bells went off in my head and without thinking, i threw my brother away.

I had just done that, that i felt a monstrously strong pull, like a giant hand had grabbed me. I tried to resist, but it would have been easier to pull out an oak with all the roots. I was yanked off my feet and flew backward.

The last thing i saw was my brother calling to me, his panicked expression. Then, a brilliant light. And then, nothing.

I have no idea how long I've been in darkness. It felt a bit like sleeping, a bit like floating in the water.

I don't know if i died then. Honestly, i think i did. Piecing back together what i remember, i was pulled straight into the contraption and the ball of lightning. If that doesn't kill you, i don't know what could.

I am assuming i did. So, i died.

I won't lie, i have my regrets. My farm, my friends, my brother. I wanted to have a family one day; marry a good woman, have a bunch of children, see them play in my yard while sitting on my porch with my pipe. That won't happen, and that saddens me. I only hope my brother can have a good life and not beat himself too much over my departure. Knowing him, it won't happen, but one can hope.

For myself, well, i never was one for crying over spilled milk. I died to save my brother and i would do it again. I have no regret for that. And so be what it has to be.

And yet, if it was death, it was a strange one. Because eventually, i woke up.

It wasn't like coming back to life or what, taking a big gulp of air after a long immersion. No, it was simple, just opening my eyes again after a long, untroubled sleep. And as i did, i found myself in a strange place.

But before i talk of that, i must talk of myself. Because i was different, oh, i was different.

First of all, my mind. I was all there, with all my quirks and knowledge. I was me but also… not. It's difficult to explain. Imagine this. Imagine a ray of light. It comes from the midday sun, right? It's light, it's warm, it makes stuff grow. Now imagine the same ray of light, but this one comes from the dawn. It's the same light and yet not. This one is different in some ways, some easy to put in words, others almost impossible. Again, imagine a tree. The plant is dying, so you take a healthy branch and plant it elsewhere. A new tree grows, but it's the same? Or it's another?

That was the same for me. I was still me and yet i wasn't. I was a new me.

My memory was still there, but it was fuzzy, distant, like after a night of drinking. I remembered bits, parts, but it was difficult to put things into focus. Faces and details escaped me. That took the sadness i had felt away but put a big feeling of loss in me that wouldn't leave me soon.

That was for the mind. For the body, well, that was the strangest thing.

I could see all around me like i had sprouted eyes on the back of my head. Still, what was truly incredible was my sense of touch: i could feel the humidity in the air, the small breeze coming from a crack in the rocks, the minute differences in temperature between above and below, close to the ground. And more startingly, i could feel beneath the ground. It was like i had an arm buried into it. I could feel the dirt and stone, their coolness and wetness.

And yet, i couldn't move and didn't have much feeling into me apart from my external perceptions. It should have been distressing, but a strange sleepiness laid over me and i didn't mind.

All of this took me a while to puzzle out. I went in and out of sleep and more often than not i was too busy wrestling with the sense of loss. Only after a long while, i don't know how long, i managed to put together something resembling enough calm to spare some attention to myself and to the world around me.

When i did, my memories were a distant thing, and i was strangely calm. If anything, there was a new feeling in me. I think it was… curiosity.

I meticulously took stock of my new form and of what it could, or couldn't, do, each little discovery a pleasant surprise. It depressed me that i couldn't move but i didn't dwell over it too much. To me, it was much more important what i could do rather what i couldn't. I was green and eager like a newly sprouted stalk.

And this is where i talk of the world around me.

It wasn't much honestly. A small cave, or rather a fissure in the rock. I doubt a man could have fit in there. It had a crack up above, from which a single ray of light fell on me.

That ray grabbed all of my attention the moment i got aware of it. It wasn't constant: it went and go, going and returning with some cycle i had no idea about. But when shone, it was incredible. The light rushed in me, making me feel like i got hooked to a generator. It was invigorating, it was exhilarating. It was more than energy rushing through me, it was like life itself had been condensed and funneled into my limbs like the greatest drink in the world. Before i knew, i all but forgot about the place i was in - not like there was much to look at - and eagerly waited for the light's touch.

I was like a schoolboy at his first crush, exploding with joy when the light shone and getting all depressed and fidgety when it wasn't there, managing only to think of the time it would return and hoping it would be soon.

I was a bit unjust, i have to admit. It wasn't just the light to fill me with energy. I could feel my roots dig deep, drinking from the earth; my leaves doing the same, taking gently from the air. But those were constant, while the light came and go. And so my attention was all taken with the latter.

It took me a while to get over the infatuation and when i did, i found there was another desire welling inside of me. The energy, the life i received from the light filled me. It made me feel full and anxious at the same time. I needed to use it for something, to give it form. That wish was like a constant itch, and i felt that it wouldn't leave me until i fulfilled it.

I thought long and hard about how to do it, but eventually, i just decided to go with the flow. The energy was inside me, ready and waiting. I felt that all i needed to do was to let it go and it would fly to its place. So i did just that.

It felt like unclenching your hand after keeping it closed for a long while. With a rush of relief, the energy flew out of my grasp. I felt it shine brightly for a moment before it disappeared. And yet, as it did that, i felt myself become… more. I don't have other words to describe it. I had grown, become greater.

I puzzled over it for some time, wondering what exactly had changed.

Eventually, i got it.

I was right when i said i had grown, because i had literally done so; only, not in the way a human or an animal could. Instead, i had extended myself: i had sprouted a leaf!

And that was when i finally realized what i had been reborn into this strange new life of mine.

I was a plant!

Day ?

The discovery would have horrified the previous me, but who i was now only felt a bit of puzzlement, followed by a rush of excitement at the new awareness about myself.

Knowledge about plants and seeds and trees filled my head, courtesy of my old life, and i was both humbled and fascinated to have become part of a type of life i had once loved dearly.

Eager to know more, i immersed myself into the memories.

Soon, my life revolved around a simple cycle. When the light shone, i soaked on it, singing in happiness as the warmth filled me. When i was full, i worked to extend myself. I took a special pride in this, especially because after some experimentation i found i could not only grow new leaves, but also branches and roots. That's why i felt like i was half-buried in the ground: i actually was!

And so i worked, day after day. A new leaf here, a longer stalk there, a new knotted root and so on and so forth.

When i wasn't busy soaking or growing, i immersed myself in my old, half-faded memories, delighting with the images of plants and flowers, with the knowledge of farming and growing and harvesting. I dreamt of fields of golden wheat and orderly flower rows, of tough weeds growing between the rocks and white flowers standing alone on mountain cliffs, of canopies shielding the sun and brooding, solemn forest trees.

It was a simple life, full of wonder and happiness.

I cannot tell you how long i remained like that. Time meant nothing to me and if it wasn't for the coming and going of the light, i would have lost track of it completely. I could see and hear, but my world was small and what stood beyond my roots and branches may as well didn't exist as much as i was concerned.

In a word, i was happy.

If it was for me, i'd have kept going for the rest of my life, growing and soaking in the light, putting out roots and branches until the cavern wasn't big enough to hold me and then digging through rocks and soil until i was a field myself.

But fate had something different in store for me.

Day 1

It was just a small rustling at the beginning, almost impossible to hear. It took me a long time to notice it and some more to realize that it was actually getting closer.

I was just starting to get alarmed that a dribble of dirt fell from the cavern's wall and an intruder poked its nose in.

My memories told me of shuffling in the dark and patient, constant digging, of gnawed roots and spoiled greens. It was all topped off with a name.

Mole.

My first reaction was of outrage. First, because the thing had an unpleasant place in my memories and second, because that was my home, thank you very much, and no trespassers were allowed.

My memory told me that people had called me "grumpy" in my old life, especially when it came to trespassing. If those people were still around for me to talk to, i'd very much told them to mind their damn business. What is that trespasser blocked the crack from which the light fell? Or my carefully grown leaves and branches? Or worse, my roots?

Anxious and angry, i tried to shoo it away. All i managed was to flutter a little, but that didn't stop me from keeping on trying.

Not noticing, or maybe the cheeky thing just ignored me, the mole shuffled forward on large paws. True to its name, it was almost blind, snuffling around to get its bearings. In different circumstances, i would have found it cute: i always had a passion for furry things of the earth.

The insolent butted against my lower leaves, sniffing and prodding. And then, just what i feared, happened. The mole started to nibble on my poor leaves!

You'll have to become a tree to understand the feeling of having someone munch on your leaves.

It didn't hurt, not really. It was unpleasant at best. And yet, seeing all my careful work spoiled like that! Precious parts of me, light and life given form, robbed away by some insolent rodent! If i still had one, i would have thrown my hat up in frustration.

I kept on fluttering, hoping that maybe i'd manage to break a branch or dislodge a rock, so that at least i get the satisfaction of giving that thief a good smack on the head. It didn't happen and eventually, i had to resign myself. But at least i managed to lift my higher branches out of that despoiler's reach.

The mole just kept nibbling away, ignoring my distress.

I made sure i grew my next branches in the opposite direction, and very well out of the reach of any furry thief.

Day 2

The mole is gone, but the problems had just gone bigger, literally.

I was just starting to get used to the little thing that more dirt cascaded from the wall and another intruder decided to peek in.

This one was a rabbit, or at least what a rabbit would have looked like if it had a thin horn on its forehead. The critter carefully surveyed the cavern for a few moments, nose twitching, before drawing its head back. There was some stubborn rustling and digging and eventually, it broke through, landing on the floor in a shower of dirt.

The mole was quick to vacate the premises, snatching a big leaf before disappearing into a tunnel.

I would have thrown a rock after it if i could. First you eat my work and then you abandon me! Traitor!

The rabbit nosed around, taking in the place. I wasn't surprised. A prey animal was careful first of all. Still, this one had to be a bold one, because after a few moments, he was already nose-deep in my leaves and branches, rustling and sniffing. It didn't take it long to start nibbling away.

Ow ow ow. My poor leaves.

I was already prepared to endure other long hours of nibbling thievery, but i had the pleasant surprise of the rabbit stop soon after. Instead, the critter loafed himself beneath my branches ad closed its eyes. After taking some shut-eye, it raised itself up, jumped back to the hole it had descended from and disappeared.

My relief was immense. Finally! Alone!

That said, now there was a big hole halfway through the wall. I couldn't quite see that there was beyond, but i felt a draft and didn't doubt that if one animal had snuck in through it, more could come.

I raked my brain for a solution, anxiously working on my branches as i did.

I was still trying to come up with one that sounds of pawing and rustling caught my attention.

To my despair, the rabbit poked its head back into the fissure. Followed by another. And another. And another.

Goddammit! It had brought all its family!

Or rather, she had. Because the other three rabbits curiously nosing around were much smaller and more rotund. Despite everything, i felt a rush of wonder. Bunnies!

The awe disappeared quickly. Judging from their size, the buns had been weaned only recently. They made that known by immediately starting to snack on my poor leaves.

Ow ow ow! My leaves! But i suppose i can let it slide… just this once…

The horn - barely small nubs on the bunnies - wasn't the only thing distinguishing these rabbits from those i was familiar with. Back in my old world, rabbits lived in burrows, and would return to it after foraging. This little family instead nested beneath my branches, making themselves very well at home. They passed their time playing, nibbling on my leaves - ow! - or sleeping, all bunched together. I was impressed by the way they seemed to get their moisture. They just licked the stones of the wall behind me, their humidity apparently enough for them.

The most active were the bunnies. They played around, tumbling in the dirt or chasing each other, or just bunched together, sleeping, resting or grooming each other.

The mother stood by the side, watching them play while loafing under my branches. She moved only when her children came to nestle in her fur, shuffling just enough to find a more comfy position. I noticed soon enough how she kept her left forepaw slightly more extended like she had problems folding it or resting on it. The reason became apparent when she lifted it up, gingerly licking at it. A big cut, mostly healed but still nasty looking, marred the white fur.

I made a mental flinch at seeing it. What kind of beast had done that? It looked like something left by a sharp knife.

I was immediately concerned. The cut looked mostly healed, but you couldn't ever be too sure with these things, especially if it was an animal bite.

Now maybe you are wondering why i was concerned about a random animal snaking on my leaves. Well, first of all, poor little critter, i didn't want to see her suffer. And second, if she didn't pull it off, i was getting stranded with three bunnies. I liked pets, but not when i couldn't move.

With that in mind. I started raking my head for a solution.

First of all, i'd have liked to take a look at the wound. The only problem: i couldn't move. That left me stumped. Without motion, there was nothing i could do.

Nice way to start…

I brooded over the problem for a long time. Despite everything, i had some hope. When i first tried to move, i failed completely, but that was before growing branches. When the mole came, i managed to make them flutter a bit. Following that logic, maybe, if i strengthened the branches, i could make one that i could move with some reliability.

It was a wild goose chase but i was all i had to work with. And so i tried.

Focusing the light inside of me toward growing was something i was familiar with by now. Using it, i had grown into a flourishing little bush, with the rabbits and mole doing little to it apart from eating some of my lower leaves.

Still, now i tried to do something new. Instead of just letting the energy go, i tried to put my will into it, to shape it so that it would turn in the form i needed. Doing that, i imagined a new extension of myself: a vine, strong and flexible, with which to grasp and manipulate.

The light flared away, and i was surprised by the feeling of emptiness it rushed me right after, like if i exerted myself too much all at once.

I mentally shivered. That wasn't pleasant at all. Still, if it had worked…

True to form, there was a new branch hanging off me, just another one amidst my tangle. And yet, this one was different. It felt stronger, more alive, more real. Gingerly, i tried to move it and was elated to discover that it did so nicely.

The vine was green and flexible, with none of the rigidity of the other branches. Still, it wasn't as easy to move around as i hoped and was much shorter than i intended. I guessed that the first was just because of my inexperience in projecting my will, while the latter had to be because more light was needed.

It was a bit discouraging. I used all my light for that project, with so little result. That vine could be as useful to my purposes as a noodle could be.

I consoled myself by thinking that with practice maybe i could not only make it better but also find a way to consume less of my resources in doing so.

Whatever it was, i felt like a whole new world had opened in front of me

With enthusiasm, i threw myself into experimenting.