“Hello and welcome to Universe version 7.00.20 (Beta)! As a randomly chosen member of the recently deceased, you have been selected to help test this newest iteration of The Universal Code! We hope you are pleased with the changes the Developers and the Alpha Testers made during their time here. (All Alpha Testers have been retired from the Game of Life and will not be present, you lucky Beta Testers will not be retired with the move to version 7.01.00.)”

“What, what are you talking about? Last I remember was hitting that ice patch on the interstate…”

“Do try to keep up Seed 471 of the Humans! .237 Celestial Cycles….Translating…. 13 days, 9 hours, and 7 minutes ago you died due to extensive body trauma incurred during medium speed transport. You then received, through random assignment, the 471st Ticket as a first wave Beta Tester. Congratulations! The old laws of reality were getting a bit boring so we decided it was time for the release of the next version. We think you’ll like what will be in store for you.

“Wait what now?”

“Updates for Race: Humanity include, but are not limited to, the following:

Patched Tongue Biting glitch (Finally, right?)

Decreased acne spawn rate

Removed tooth regrowth limit

Fixed “Enter and Forget” bug

Re-balanced and re-released Magic for your species

Increased statistical limitations

(Those last two tie in to the new laws of reality, but they are pretty exciting, aren’t they?)”

“Now hold on, what do you mean magic? What the hell is going on?”

“Now onto the General Updates:

Implementation of Status Menus. We liked the concept and it certainly adds a bit of fun for us. With the creation of Status Menus, Magic and Racial Traits have been rebalanced and reworked to better contend with a far more dangerous Universe.

Racial and Ability Upgrades. Through the use of Evolution Points, new abilities can be created, old abilities can be strengthened, and your race itself may become...more. Use these points wisely as they could mean the difference between life and death.

Racial Spawn Points rearranged. To encourage interspecies communication, multiple races will share starting Spawn Points. Races have been matched with each other based off of technology levels, intergalactic presence, and various other factors. Work with your chosen matches to grow together, or crush them and take their strengths for your own!”

“I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!”

“Welcome to your new reality! Please make your first purchase now.”

As the mysterious voice finally stopped, the perfectly black void was interrupted with the ghostly blue glow of a backlit screen and a soon to be familiar menu.

Purchase Menu

Evolution Points: 250 (100 Point base, +100 Bonus for Beta Tester, +50 Handicap Bonus)

Abilities

Racial Traits

Items

Statistic Boosters

Fusion

“What….what is this? Please, just let me go back home.”

TIME LIMIT: 23:59.59…

This was the introduction every individual had to their new reality.

23:48.15

Some were scared, many were convinced it was some kind of prank.

23:37.02

Most sat there in shock, confusion, or denial of reality, slowly watching the counter tick down to zero.

23:22.34

Very, very few made their choices here seriously and carefully. That was unfortunate. If more had, perhaps there would have been fewer deaths in the days to come.